by Naomi Niles
In any case, my head was spinning with all the new developments in my life and I didn’t need to clutter it further with decisions that I couldn’t possibly think of making at this point.
We were back in my office when Danny sat down in front of me and eyed me curiously. “Why are you so reluctant to accept Zackary’s offer?” he asked. “I would jump at the chance.”
“Because you’re young and just starting out,” I said. “I’ve been at this for a while…”
“And?”
“It’s just not as cut and dry as you might think.”
“What do you mean?” Danny asked, in confusion.
“I’d be uprooting my entire life,” I said. “I’d be changing around everything.”
“But you’d be furthering your career,” he pointed out. “You’d be jumping ten steps ahead of every other surgeon your age.”
“I’ve never framed myself in those terms,” I said. “That kind of thing just depresses you. You need to be focused on your personal trajectory. That’s the only one that counts.”
“Are you seriously considering turning him down?” he asked incredulously.
“I didn’t say that,” I said quickly. “I just…haven’t made a decision yet.”
“Hmm…” Danny looked thoughtful. But just when I thought he had run out of questions to ask, he brought up an old topic. “So how was the date?”
I sighed. “You don’t give up, do you?”
“Rarely,” he smiled. “That’s how I became a doctor in the first place.”
I shook my head at him, but it was hard for me to not be amused too. “Fine,” I said, conceding defeat. “Yes, I did have a date last night, and yes, it went very well.”
“How well?”
“We had sex.”
“Yes!” he said, as though it was his personal conquest. “I’m proud of you.”
“Proud?” I repeated, with raised eyebrows.
“You’re so straight laced and serious all the time,” he said. “It’s nice to know that you can loosen up from time to time.”
“I can loosen up,” I said defensively. “I just…do it at appropriate times.”
Danny laughed. “What’s her name?”
“Umm…Kami,” I admitted, unwilling to lie about whom I was seeing.
“Kami,” Danny said, wrinkling his eyebrows together. “That name sounds familiar.”
“It should,” I nodded. “We had a consultation with her, remember?”
“Holy fuck!” he breathed, as he remembered. “You’re dating a patient?”
“She’s not a patient,” I said quickly. “She’s not going through with any of the surgeries. She’s keeping the body God gave her, and it’s a good thing, too, because He gave her one heck of a body.”
“Seriously?” Danny asked. “I couldn’t tell.”
“No, you wouldn’t have been able to that day,” I admitted. “She was trying to go incognito. But trust me, she’s a beauty under all that material. She just doesn’t know it.”
“Huh,” he said, in amazement. “Is that why you ran off right after her consultation. You asked her out?”
“Actually, no,” I said. “That happened later…when we went to Natalie’s for lunch with Zackary.”
“Huh?”
“She’s the chef there.”
“No way.”
“Way,” I smiled. “I noticed her while we were eating lunch.”
“That’s why you went back in after we had finished eating.”
“Yup.”
“Sneaky.” He narrowed his eyes at me. “I was convinced you had asked out the waitress.”
“Haley,” I said. “She’s a nice girl, and she also happens to be Kami’s sister. But, no, she’s not my type.”
“And, Kami is?”
“Most definitely,” I nodded.
“Well… I guess all I can say is good luck to you.”
I smiled. “Thanks.”
I had just arrived home that evening when my phone started ringing. I turned on the lights, threw my things on the kitchen table, and picked up the call.
“Hey, man!” Sam’s voice was loud and clear on the other line. “When are you coming back home?”
I smiled. “Sammy!” I said affectionately. “How’ve you been?”
“Answer my question.”
I laughed. “You know I can’t give you an answer right now,” I said. “A month, maybe longer.”
“It sucks that you’re not here. Victor’s joined our family dinners, but it’s not the same without you.”
“I’m coming down for Thanksgiving,” I reminded him.
“Yup,” Sam agreed. “And, I can’t wait. What are you bringing me?”
I smiled. It was just like Sam to get straight to the point. Sometimes it was hard for me not to think of him as a fifteen-year-old kid. It was even harder to think about him in firefighter mode.
“I thought my coming was enough?” I teased.
He grunted. “Don’t be cheap now,” he said. Then he sighed. “I still don’t know why you’re in California in the first place.”
I tensed a little. It was obvious Peter still hadn’t told him about the fact that I was in California for no other reason than to search for our mother. Sam was extra sensitive when it came to her. He had been very young when she had left, and the fact that we’d lost our father only a few years later made the loss even worse.
“Zackary offered me this job, remember?”
“Didn’t he offer you the job after you said you were heading off to Cali?”
“Umm…is that how it happened?” I asked, feigning uncertainty.
“You can’t remember?”
“Hey, I have something to tell you,” I said desperately, hoping to distract him with the only other news I had to offer.
“Please tell me it has something to do with boobs.”
I laughed. “You are such a fucking pervert.”
“Guilty as charged,” he said happily. “Now tell me about the boobs and how big they were?”
I rolled my eyes. “I met a girl.”
“So this story is about boobs,” he said, after a moment’s pause.
“You are such a child.”
Sam laughed. “Is she hot?”
“I think so.”
“Have you seen her naked yet?”
“You know what?” I said. “I’m going to save the details for when I see you.”
“Awww, come on,” he said, with disappointment. “I want to hear everything now.”
“You’ll just have to exercise some patience,” I said. “And Thanksgiving is not that far away.”
“How serious are you about this girl?” he asked quickly, squeezing in another question.
“Time will tell,” I said evasively.
“Geez…seems like the Burbank spell really has been broken,” Sam said, in an awed voice. “Alan and Jessica are engaged. Peter and Madison have moved in together. And now you.”
“This was just a date, Sam,” I said quickly. “Don’t get ahead of yourself.”
Sam snorted. “That’s what Alan said about Jessica,” he said. “And that’s what Peter said about Madison, too. A couple of weeks in and they were both head over heels in love. Maybe Dad’s up in heaven playing cupid, sticking you poor suckers with his arrows.”
I laughed. “You might be next then, Sammy boy.”
Sam snorted again. “No woman’s going to tie me down,” he said. “No amount of arrows will ever change that.”
I smiled but said nothing. Sam didn’t truly understand the power of a woman’s smile. He was still naïve enough to think that he could stay in control in the face of that kind of beauty. I thought of Kami and those stolen moments on the beach.
It was just one of those normal, everyday kind of moments. But somehow, they changed your life.
Chapter Fourteen
Kami
I tossed around in my bed; comfortable, happy, and clinging on to the memories of last night like a hopel
ess junkie. I had never been on a date like that before. I kept re-living little details, wishing I could experience them again.
If I concentrated really hard, I could catch little tendrils of feeling, but they were fleeting and vanished as soon as they’d come. I desperately wanted to see JJ again, but a part of me was also scared of a second meeting and a second date. What if the second date tanked? What if he changed? What if he decided that he was wrong about me, and I wasn’t really worth his time?
I felt my mind spiral as it so often did. I remembered how amazingly handsome he had looked the night before. He had been so kind, charming, and funny. So it was hard for me to believe that he was interested in me. I conceded that I had looked halfway decent the night before, but still. He was a doctor, and a handsome one at that. He could have asked out any number of girls, and they would have all jumped at the opportunity to date him, so why me?
I sat up in bed and glanced at the clock on my bedside table. It was almost ten-thirty. Shocked by how late I’d slept in, I jumped up and headed into the bathroom to brush my teeth and have a quick shower. When I had finished, I went into the kitchen, but there was no sign of Haley. I had expected her to be up by now.
I also wanted her to talk me down from the ledge I was climbing onto. She was always so good at calming me down and keeping me from over thinking.
I poked my head through her bedroom door. She was obviously still sleeping, but we needed to head over to the restaurant immediately.
“Haley?” I said, stepping into her room and sitting down on the edge of her bed. “Hey, it’s late. You need to get up.”
Haley moaned and turned over. It wasn’t the reaction I had expected. She was usually more chipper in the mornings, even if she was woken up.
“Hi,” I said. “Anyone there?”
She sighed deeply and turned around. Her eyes were a little red around the corners and her mouth was turned down at the edges. In that moment, she reminded me of our mother and it terrified me. “Haley,” I said, in a soft voice. “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine,” she mumbled. “Just tired. It was a late night.”
“Yeah… Did you go to sleep right after we spoke?”
“Umm…no,” Haley said. She sat up in bed and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. “What time is it?”
“Late,” I said. “We need to get to the restaurant soon. I have to start cooking.”
“Right,” she nodded as she flung back her sheets and got out of bed. She was wearing a silky white teddy and her blonde hair was a mess of curls around her head. She walked drunkenly to the bathroom and closed the door on me.
I went to the kitchen with a frown, slightly concerned with Haley’s mood. She wasn’t often like that, but when she was, it usually spelled trouble. I was drinking some juice and wondering what could be the matter when she walked out of her room in tight jeans and a classic rock shirt she had stolen from me. I studied her carefully, but there was a huge improvement in her expression.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
“Completely,” she smiled, and it seemed as though she were back to her old self. “Just had…a weird sleep is all.”
“Dreamt much?”
“Nothing I can remember,” she shrugged. “Pass me the juice will you.”
I passed her the carton and she took a long swig. “Mmm, that’s good.”
“You seemed a little…down this morning,” I pointed out, eyeing her carefully.
Haley laughed a little, but I noticed she refused to meet my eyes. “I’m fine. You worry too much. Now let’s head out; we’re going to be late.”
We shared a pleasant walk to the restaurant, but we had to get to work immediately the moment we got there. Haley started readying the dining area for customers while I got preparations for the menu started. When Haley was done, she joined me in the kitchen.
“What can I do?” she asked good-naturedly.
“You can chop me some onions,” I said, pointing to the bunch I had set aside in one corner.
“Hell,” she said, grabbing them. “That’s a lot of onions.”
“You might need glasses.”
Haley waved away the suggestions. “I’ve always been immune to onion sweat, you know that.”
“Right,” I smiled.
“So…tell me more,” she said suggestively as she got to work.
“More?”
“About the big date last night.”
“I already told you everything,” I said.
“Please, you gave me the highlights,” she said with dissatisfaction. “I want to know the nitty-gritty details. Especially considering I’ve never had sex on a beach. I might try it now, though.”
“I think with any other guy, I wouldn’t have enjoyed it,” I admitted. “There was sand in places I don’t even want to think about. But… I think with JJ, I was just too…far gone.”
“Wow, he’s hot and he can fuck,” Haley said, obviously impressed. “God does give with both hands sometimes.”
I laughed.
“Did he say he would call?”
“He did,” I nodded. “But I don’t know if he will.”
“Why do you do that?” she demanded.
“Do what?”
“Set yourself up for failure before anything’s actually happened,” Haley said impatiently. “It’s tiring.”
“It’s self-preservation.”
“Oh, I see,” she said. “You’re preparing yourself now, in case he doesn’t call you?”
“I suppose so.”
“Don’t you think it might be more productive to be hopeful?”
“Hope only leads to disappointment.”
“Only if you’re too cynical to see otherwise,” Haley pointed out.
I raised my eyebrows at her. “Umm, hello?” I said. “Have you met me?”
She laughed. “Fair point,” she nodded. “Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t work at being less cynical.”
“I need to focus on my cooking now,” I said, trying to end the conversation.
“Fine,” Haley sighed. “I’ll let this slide now, but only because I can see the line forming outside and I need to go entertain the people.” She did a little twirl and then disappeared out the door, leaving me to my vegetables.
Forty minutes later, the lunch rush began. As nerve wracking as it sometimes was to put together five different main meals, I had to admit that I loved the chaos of my kitchen. I had only myself to contend with. There was no one in my ear, no one to shout orders to or instructions at. It was just my ideas and I, rattling about the walls of my tiny kitchen.
A couple of hours later, and the house died down to a low hum. Haley walked into the kitchen with a bunch of empty plates and dumped them into the dishwasher.
“Last customers?” I asked, feeling the fatigue in my feet.
“I’m just waiting on the bill,” Haley said.
I waited till the last customers had cleared out and then I joined my sister in the dining area. She put her feet up on an empty chair as we sat down together.
“Wow,” she sighed. “That was busy.”
“Isn’t it always?”
“Maybe we should think about hiring someone,” Haley suggested, as she looked around at all the tables that needed to be cleaned.
“I don’t want help in the kitchen,” I said immediately.
“Fine,” she sighed. “Someone to help me wait tables, then?”
“I’ll think about it,” I said cautiously. I knew I was being difficult, but it was hard for me to adjust to change. I wanted to be really sure about my decision before I gave Haley the okay.
“So…I have something I want to tell you,” Haley started, and I detected a note of worry in her tone.
I wrinkled my brows together. “Okay. This sounds serious.”
“It’s not,” she said, a little too quickly. “It’s not serious.”
“Okay…”
“Dad called last night,” she said.
I froze in place. “Eth
an called,” I repeated, refusing to refer to him as Dad. “When was this?”
“Late,” she replied. “After you and I spoke. I went to my room, and I was just getting to bed when the call came in.”
“What does he want?” I asked, my voice turning cold.
“He wants to talk to us,” she said slowly.
“And?” I persisted, knowing that there were always strings attached whenever Ethan came around.
“And he might want…some money,” Haley said, looking down.
“You told him no, right?”
“Umm…”
“Haley!” I said, bringing my hand down hard on the table.
“What?” she asked. “He’s our father, Kami!”
“Please,” I spat. “He was never our father. He was the monster who physically abused our mother and verbally abused us. Or have you forgotten?”
“Of course I haven’t forgotten,” she sighed.
“Then why didn’t you tell him to fuck off?”
Haley looked weary and just like that morning; she refused to meet my eyes. “It’s been over a year since we saw him.”
“So?”
“He wants to see us.”
“He wants money,” I said. “He has no interest in us.”
“He’s changed,” she said in a low voice. “I mean, he’s claimed to have changed… He was really nice to me last night.”
“Because he wants something from you, Haley,” I said, shaking my head at her. “How can you be so naïve?”
She looked down at her fingers silently.
“What did you tell him?” I asked, trying to keep my tone calm.
“I told him that we would meet and discuss it.”
“Discuss what?” I demanded.
“A loan.”
I groaned in frustration. “It’s not going to be a loan with him,” I pointed out. “He’ll take the money, and that’ll be the last we see of it.”
“Okay, so we help him out a little?” she said with emotion in her tone. “Is that such a bad thing?”
“Our mother committed suicide because of him!” I almost screamed.
Haley flinched back as though I’d slapped her. We descended into silence, and I had to force myself to calm down. My fingers itched to reach into my bag and grab a handful of anti-anxiety pills, but I resisted the urge.