by Naomi Niles
“But despite my failures,” he continued. “I’m proud that my daughters have done so well for themselves. Business is booming, I see.”
“We’re doing really, really well,” Haley said immediately. “People are lining up outside the restaurant.”
“Kami here was always an excellent cook.”
“I get it from Mom,” I said, meeting his eye.
He didn’t look in the least bit ashamed by my mention of her. He met my gaze and smiled as though he hadn’t treated her like crap while she had been alive.
“It’s rather small, though, isn’t it?” Ethan said, looking around.
“I would like to expand one day,” Haley said. “But we’ll see.”
“You should,” he said immediately. “Growth means more money.”
“Not everything is about money,” I interjected. “Haley and I built this restaurant up from scratch. I don’t want to lose control of it because we got greedy.”
“I don’t think that’s the right way of looking at it,” he said carefully.
I narrowed my eyes at him.
“But it’s your call,” he said with a shrug before I could say anything. “So have you got a boyfriend, Hales?”
“Nope,” Haley shook her head. “I’m not the settling down kind.”
Ethan laughed as though he thoroughly approved. “I understand that,” he nodded. Then he turned to me. “What about you, Kami?”
I sighed heavily. “Can we just cut to the chase, please? What did you come here to discuss with Haley and me?”
Ethan looked between us. Then he gave a tired sigh, as though he were impatient with me. “All right then, if you insist on making this all about business—”
“I do.”
“I have this brilliant idea for a start-up,” Ethan continued. “I have all the contacts I need. I just need—”
“Investors,” I said.
“Well, yes.”
“How much do you want?” I asked bluntly.
I noticed that Ethan only looked at Haley when he spoke. “It’s not a huge amount when you really think about the profitability of my idea…”
“How much?” I asked again.
“Ten thousand dollars.”
I smirked. “Do you really think Haley and I have ten thousand dollars just lying around?”
“You girls are doing well.”
“Not well enough that we have ten thousand dollars lying around.”
Ethan glanced at Haley. “Didn’t you tell me you had savings?”
Haley looked at me guilty before turning back to Ethan. “We do have savings,” she said cautiously. “But not that much. We only have a few thousand.”
I wanted to scream. I couldn’t believe that she was actually volunteering information to this man who had done nothing to deserve our trust.
“That’s fine,” he said quickly. “A few thousand will still go a long way. I’d have to scale back the business plan, but I don’t mind starting small.”
“Haley,” I said firmly. “Can I have a word with you in the kitchen?”
We excused ourselves and headed towards the kitchen. The moment the door closed behind us, I rounded on her. “We are not giving that man a cent.”
“Kami—”
“I know what you’re going to say,” I said. “And don’t bother. I know he’s our father, and I know he’s the only family we have. But I don’t care. I’d rather have no family at all than family like him. He’s just using us. Isn’t that obvious to you? He’s only here for the money.”
Haley looked down at the floor for a moment. “What if he really wants to start over with us?”
“Then he would have come here, apologized, asked to see us, and stuck around until we agreed to try building a relationship with him,” I said. “Without expecting anything in return.”
Haley sighed deeply. “I suppose…you’re right about that.”
“Of course, I’m right,” I sighed. “Tell me, did he say he was coming into town before or after you told him how well we were doing with the restaurant?”
She looked down again. “After.”
“Exactly,” I nodded. “We worked our butts off for the last decade to earn the six thousand dollars that’s sitting in the bank right now. If we give it all to him, then all that work will be for nothing.”
Haley sighed deeply and her eyes were troubled. “Okay,” she said. “You’re right.”
“So we’re saying no?”
“We’re saying no,” she nodded.
“Good,” I said, breathing a sigh of relief. “Now let’s go out there and tell him.”
We walked back out together. Haley sat down again, but I remained standing. Ethan still had the same insipid smile plastered on his face, but I could sense that he was nervous about my answer.
“I’m sorry, Ethan,” I said. “But we’re not going to be able to give you the money.”
The smile stayed on his face, but his eyes hardened. “Why not?”
“Because we need that money,” I said.
“If you’re not planning on expanding the restaurant, I don’t see why you need it,” he said, and I sensed his mood begin to change.
“I don’t have to give you an explanation,” I said. “The money’s ours, and we’ll decide what to use it for.”
Ethan stood slowly and the smile died instantly on his face. “You ungrateful little bitches,” he snarled, turning back into the man we had grown up with. “I’m your fucking father.”
I could see Haley shaking, but I forced myself to remain calm. Ethan was a bully and the only thing bullies retreated from was strength.
“You were a lousy father,” I said. “And, you’re not getting a cent from us.”
He stared at me with loathing in his eyes. It was the same way he used to look at Mom before he starting hitting. I felt fear blossom in the pit of my stomach, but I forced myself to stare back at him as though I was unafraid.
“Now get out of my restaurant or I will call the police.”
I thought for a moment that he was going to hit me. But then he snarled and in a fit of rage, he upturned the table we had been sitting at. Haley gasped and fell backwards on her chair. Ethan didn’t even glance at her. He spat another degrading insult at both of us and stormed out of the door.
The moment the door shut behind him, Haley began sobbing uncontrollably. I rushed to her side and cradled her in my arms. “It’s okay,” I said, without really thinking about what I was saying. “Shh… It’s okay. He’s gone. We did the right thing. We did the right thing.”
Chapter Seventeen
JJ
“Hello?” I said, picking up the phone.
“JJ?” Kami’s voice sounded a little strange.
“Kami, are you okay?” I asked instantly, sensing that something was not quite right.
“Umm… I…don’t know,” she replied.
Her voice was a little disjointed. I suspected she’d been drinking. “Tell me what happened,” I said. “Tell me what’s wrong?”
“I… Can I come over?” she asked unexpectedly.
I hesitated for only a moment. “Of course you can,” I said. “I’ll pick you up.”
“No,” she said. “I’m taking a cab.”
Relieved, I nodded. Then I realized she couldn’t see me. “Okay,” I said. “I’ll send you the location.”
“I’ll see you soon,” she replied.
The line went dead. I sent her my location, and then I dumped the phone on the sofa and started running around like a headless chicken trying to get the apartment clean. It wasn’t exactly a mess; it was just a little untidy. I had clothes and shirts lying around, I had books and food littering almost every surface. It had been a habit of mine since I was a teenager and it used to drive Peter crazy. I had limited the mess to my room from then on, but since I was in my own apartment here, I had let loose a little. And now I regretted it.
I had just finished putting away the barbeque chips when I heard the sound of a c
ar pull up on the street outside. I rushed to the window and glanced outside just in time to see Kami slip out of the cab.
She looked a little unsteady on her feet, and my nerves grew. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to have agreed to her coming over? If she was drunk, then things could get…messy. I didn’t want my relationship with her to be overly complicated too early.
I buzzed her up before she could even ring. Then I opened the door and went to my landing. My apartment was only two stories up, so she didn’t have far to walk. I saw her coming and rushed down to help her up. As I came closer, I saw that she was definitely a little drunk and extremely emotional from the looks of it. I took her by the hand and she accepted it willingly. I led her back to my apartment and sat her down on the couch.
“Thanks,” she mumbled.
“Kami,” I said gently. “Tell me what’s wrong?”
“I just…had the most awful night,” she said. Despite her slight tipsiness, her words were clear. I could tell that the alcohol was showing itself in her honesty and her willingness to talk. She wasn’t going to hold out on me tonight, that much I knew.
“What happened?”
“My father came to the restaurant tonight,” Kami said. “He’s a bastard.”
I raised my eyebrows, a little surprised by the passion in her tone.
She shook her head. “It was all Haley’s fault… She… No, no I don’t mean that. It wasn’t Haley’s fault. It’s just that she wants so much to have a relationship with him. She’s willing to believe anything he tells her. But I know better.
“He hasn’t really been in our lives for years. Then suddenly he calls one day, hears how well we’re doing with the restaurant, and then he needs to see us immediately. He just wanted money. He wanted to capitalize off of our hard work. It’s what he’s always done.”
“You saw him tonight?” I asked cautiously.
“It was Haley’s idea to meet. She wanted to give him money. She would have done it, too, if I weren’t there. She was all set to believe his sob story about wanting to start over and do better by us as a father. I managed to convince her not to give her a dime.”
“And, he didn’t take it well?”
“Of course not,” Kami shook her head. “He’s never taken ‘no’ very well at all. He got pissed off, called Haley and me ungrateful bitches, upturned the table we were sitting at, and stormed out without a backward glance.”
“No!”
“Please,” she said, looking down at her hands. “He’s said and done worse. At least he left quickly. Back when we were kids, his rages would go on forever. He’d call us bitches, whores, and cunts. He’d tell us that we were worthless, useless, pathetic girls who’d never be able to amount to anything in our lives.”
“Oh my God… Kami,” I said, in shock and sympathy.
“Don’t feel sorry for me,” she said quickly. “We just had to deal with his words. But not our mother; she had to deal with his fists.”
“He was physically abusive?” I asked, appalled.
Kami’s eyes looked a little unfocused as she continued speaking. Her eyes darted around the room as though she were looking for answers. She was fidgety, too, moving her hands and feet in little spasms. I leaned in and put my arm around her, drawing her closer to me. She sighed against me and seemed to relax.
“I probably shouldn’t have come,” she said, in a soft voice. “You don’t need to hear all this…”
“It’s okay,” I said. “If you need to talk about anything at all, I’m here to listen.”
Kami was silent for a few moments. “People assume that he was a drunk,” she said, breaking the somber silence. “They look for excuses to explain away his rage. But the truth was, I’ve never actually seen my father drunk. I’ve never actually seen him drink. He was just an angry and frustrated man, and he took that anger out on the people closest to him.
“Mom was so different whenever he was at home. She used to sing songs when she washed our clothes; she used to tell stories when she made us dinner.
“But the moment he came home, she changed. She went pale and silent, and she spoke only when he asked her a question. It was self-preservation. She was trying to avoid his anger. She fussed around him like a maid. She made sure to make his favorite meals for dinner. She always had the table set when he arrived. It didn’t matter what she did, though. He got mad, anyway.
“We were too young to understand. We would get sent to our room and then we would hear screaming for a while. Then Dad would disappear and Mom would lock herself in her room. The next day, she would have a bruise on her face or on her body and she would tell us that she had tripped.
“As we got older, we started to realize what was happening. Haley’s three years older than me, so she understood sooner than I did.
“That’s when I started intervening. I was about ten the first time I plucked up enough courage to confront him. He was standing over Mom in the kitchen, going in for another hit. I ran at him and jumped on his back.
“He threw me to the floor and was about to hit me when Mom screamed. I don’t know why her scream worked, but he didn’t hit me. He froze in place, stared at me with daggers in his eyes, spat at my feet, and walked out of the house.
“After that, I tried to stop him anytime he tried to hurt her. He got angrier; he started screaming profanities and throwing things around the house. But for some reason, he never actually hit me. To this day, I still don’t understand why. He never hesitated to hit Mom.
“As we got older, I started fighting him more and more… It got to the point where he pushed me up against the wall and held my throat. I was certain he was about to break his rule and hit me this time, but before he could, Haley struck him in the back with one of Mom’s frying pans.” She paused for a moment, lost in the memory.
“He was unconscious for a few hours. We dragged him outside and left him on the garden. We would have called the police, but Mom was so terrified that she stopped us making the call. He disappeared for a few days after that.
“When he came back again, it was to pack his bags and leave for good. Mom stayed locked in the basement the whole time he was there. He told Haley and me we were useless bitches just like our mother, and then he walked out. A few months later, Mom committed suicide.”
I sucked in my breath. “She…” I could barely finish the sentence. I hadn’t expected that revelation and now that I knew, I just wanted to hold Kami and give her whatever comfort I could.
“How old were you?” I asked.
“I was seventeen,” Kami replied, after a small pause. “Haley was twenty. We thought she was sleeping at first, so we left her alone. When she didn’t get up for dinner, Haley went in to check on her. That’s when she discovered the sleeping pills. She had swallowed a container full. By the time we realized what she had done, her body was cold.”
“Oh my God,” I breathed, unable to imagine the trauma of that moment. I hugged her a little harder and felt Kami lean in to me, as though she was seeking out body heat. “I can’t even imagine what that must have done to you – to you and Haley.”
“I think we survived it only because we had each other,” Kami said, in a faraway voice. “If it hadn’t been for Haley, I don’t think I would have had the strength to continue.”
“You would have,” I said confidently. “You’re strong, Kami. You’re much stronger than you give yourself credit for. You were the one who stood up to your father. What is that, if not strength?”
“It didn’t stop him.”
“It stopped him eventually,” I pointed out.
“It was too late.” She shook her head hopelessly. “She killed herself anyway. Haley and I stopped watching her.”
“What do you mean?”
“She had struggled with depression from the moment she married Ethan,” Kami replied. “But Haley and I made sure she was okay; we made sure she didn’t do anything drastic. But after Ethan left, we became…complacent. We thought we were in the clear.
“I should have known that clinical depression is not something that just goes away. Just because Ethan had left didn’t mean Mom would magically become a happier person. She was still suffering, but Haley and I missed it. We were so preoccupied with our own relief that we forgot to look out for her.”
I could hear the edge of guilt in Kami’s voice. “Don’t do that to yourself. What happened to your mother was not your fault. Putting that burden on yourself is not going to help.”
She sighed into my shoulder. Then she turned suddenly and kissed me without warning. I knew what she was trying to do. She was trying to drown her pain with a distraction.
I kissed her softly, but pulled back the moment I had the opportunity. My conscience would not allow me to have sex with Kami in this condition. I held her until she fell asleep on my shoulder, then I carried her to my bed and set her down on top of it.
She sighed heavily and turned. I covered her over with a soft blanket and kissed the top of her head. I stayed by her side and watched her to make sure that she was okay. When it became clear she was deeply asleep, I tiptoed out of the room. I collected her purse from the sofa to bring it into the room, but as I lifted it, a container rolled out. I bent down and picked it up, seeing the anti-anxiety pills inside.
I put them back into her purse and went back into my room. She had such small shoulders to have carried so great a burden all these years. I felt sorrow for everything she had been through, but above all that, I marveled at the strength that had gotten her this far.
Chapter Eighteen
Kami
I had no idea where I was. I sat up in bed and glanced around the room as my eyes adjusted to the light. I looked around carefully and then slowly, the night before started coming back to me.
“Oh God,” I groaned, dropping my face into my hands.
I had called JJ last night. I had taken a cab over to his place. I had obviously spent the night. But I couldn’t remember much else apart from that. How had I behaved? What had I said to him? How much did he know about my past?
I pulled back the sheets and stumbled out of JJ’s bed. His room was simple, with the bathroom door just ahead, to the left of his wardrobe. A few of his clothes were thrown over a chair in the corner of the room, but other than that, everything looked pretty tidy.