* * *
“Hello? Anyone home?”
“Hey, Barb. I’m right here.” Josie came out from her office.
“Everything quiet around here? I haven’t heard from you lately. No more Abe sightings?”
“Not that I can be sure of. I’ve been trying to figure out what it is about my place that he thinks is his.” Have you seen Kelly? Have you slept with her? Has she called you “lover”?
“Let me know if you hear from him again. We’re sort of at a dead end, it seems.” She looked thoughtful. “I’m on my way to the east side to check on some dead deer and thought I’d see how you were doing. No guests this month?”
Josie kept picturing Barb’s arm around Kelly’s waist. Did she know they’d slept together? Probably not. Maybe it wasn’t worth mentioning. Are they still dating? The questions were going to drive her crazy. Barb was looking at her expectantly. She’d clearly taken too long to respond. She tried to be in the moment. “Nope. Not even for Labor Day. I doubt I’ll get anyone now until the snow flies. But it gives me time to finish a couple of projects and spruce the place up a bit.”
“Ah. You’ll be busier next year after you have a year under your belt. Maybe we can get together for lunch one day. Call if you need anything.” Barb got in her car and waved as she drove away.
“Was that Barbara?” Nooko asked from the doorway.
“Yes. She stopped to check on us.” Nooko rarely ventured to the office area. “You’re getting along well.”
“I wanted to look at the pictures of Harold building this place. It’s been years.” Nooko walked slowly, stopping at each picture with a faraway look on her face. “He was a handsome man, wasn’t he?” Her question was more of a statement. “It’s funny. You’re afraid of loving Kelly because you might lose her, and I was afraid of loving Harold because my parents didn’t want me to marry a white man. They finally accepted him when they saw how miserable I was and how handy a carpenter he was. I guess both of our fears were based on factors we had no control over.” Nooko continued looking at every picture as if she hadn’t said a word.
Josie joined Nooko in the entry and studied the photos. “I suppose that’s true. I’m glad your dad and mom finally accepted him. They must have loved you very much.”
“They did. And I loved them, too.” Nooko turned to face her and took both her hands in hers. “I know your parents loved you very much, too, and I believe with all my heart they’d want to see you happy. They’d welcome Kelly into the family with open arms. You just need to do the same.” Nooko kissed her cheek and left the room.
Josie sat at her desk pondering Nooko’s words. Her mother hadn’t lived to meet the women she’d dated. Her feelings for her best friend had become confusing the summer before the accident, but she never had the chance to tell her mom she’d never marry a man. She’d never talked about it with her father. He’d been happy she was as handy with a hammer as a broom, so he never paid much attention to who she dated, as locked away in his own grief as he was. She checked the safe and locked the front door.
“I’m going to finish the shed prep. I’ll be out back if you need anything,” Josie checked on Nooko, who was stirring a pot of corn soup, then headed to the back door.
“Be careful, dear. I’ll have lunch ready when you’re done.”
Josie began digging in an area next to the building. She removed several shovelfuls of dirt and struck something solid about two feet deep. She presumed it was a cinder block like the others she’d unearthed and kneeled to pull it out. She tugged on a corner and realized it wasn’t a cinder block or a rock. She wedged the shovel under it and gently pushed it out of the ground. The dirt fell away to uncover a metal box. She extracted it from the dirt and set it on the ground to get a better look at it. The clasp had an aged lock, most of which was rusted away. She tugged on the top but it wouldn’t budge. Must be rusted or corroded closed. She took it into her office and locked it away in the back of her wall safe, planning to deal with it later. She returned to her work site to put away her tools.
“I’m heading to the hardware store to pick up some things, Nooko. You want to ride along with me?”
“No. I’ll finish the soup and read the paper until you get back. Who was out there with you?”
“No one. Why?”
“I thought I saw someone out by the edge of the woods. I figured maybe Barb came back to help you.”
“Nope. Maybe it was a deer back again looking for handouts. I’ll be back soon.” Josie hooked her empty trailer to her Jeep and checked the area before she left. Nooko’s words sparked her anxiety. She walked along the edge of the woods and searched for footprints, deer or human, and found nothing. She noted the time and headed to town.
Loading the odds and ends she needed didn’t take as long as she anticipated, so she gave Barb a quick call and left her a message about the possible Abe sighting. She didn’t say anything about the metal box but looked forward to examining the contents. It might be full of rocks. She didn’t see anything unusual when she pulled up behind the lodge, backed her trailer close to the area she was putting the shed, and shut off the car engine. She’d unload the trailer in the morning. Right now, she wanted to see what was in the box. Intuition told her it was important, though she couldn’t fathom why she’d feel that way.
She unlocked the outside door deadbolt and noted the scratches on the metal and the doorjamb. Apprehension constricted her throat as she entered the room. Everything looked in order until she reached the door to her office. The molding was ripped off, the wall deeply gouged, as if by a chainsaw, and the metal door had been thrown into a corner. She rushed to the wall safe to find it scratched and dented as if pounded on with a sledgehammer, but intact and unopened. She breathed a sigh of relief until she noticed Nooko’s cane lying on the floor by her desk, and her GPS emergency button next to it smashed to pieces.
She raced to the lodge, running to Nooko’s bedroom first. Empty. “Nooko? Are you here?” Her heart beat hard enough to restrict her breathing. She bent over and drew in air before rushing from one room to another. “Nooko!” she yelled as tears stung her eyes. Her grandmother was nowhere to be found.
Chapter Thirty
“We’re going to miss you.” The whole staff of Woodland Care Center held coffee cups and bottled water in a toast to Kelly.
“Thank you all. I’m going to miss you, too. It’s been an honor to work here and watch you all grow into your roles. I’m proud of each and every one of you.” She raised her cup of tea and smiled. “I’ll let you know when I get home.” Platitudes and promises to keep in touch over, she packed her computer and left.
She resisted the pull to turn toward Josie’s as she left the parking lot. She was sure a clean break was best for them both, but her heart still needed convincing. She wandered about the tiny apartment she’d grown used to over the few weeks she’d been there. She put all the dishes away, swept the floor, and straightened the bedding. She realized she was stalling. Hoping Josie would call and, what? Profess her undying love? Ask her not to leave? She considered contacting her, but cell connection was spotty from her apartment, and it was best if she got on with her life. Her only regret was Ruth. She’d miss her wisdom and tenacity. Memories of Josie’s touch, her scent, her sounds, would undoubtedly plague her during sleepless nights for a long time. She left the key on the kitchen counter and put her suitcase in the back seat of her car.
She only had one stop to make before leaving the island and heading south. She’d tossed and turned most of the night, wrestling with what she was going to tell Barb. Sweet, romantic Barb, whom she grown to care about. But ultimately, she’d decided it was Josie who’d captured her heart. She sent Barb a text as she approached the main intersection of town. She pulled into the Teepee parking lot and saw her cruiser pull in within minutes. She took a deep breath for courage and smiled when Barb settled into her passenger seat.
“I’m glad you texted. I was hoping I’d get another chance to say g
ood-bye, although I’m hoping it’s see you later rather than an actual good-bye.” Barb kissed her lightly on the lips.
“I couldn’t leave without making sure things are clear between us. I care about you, Barb. You’re a remarkable woman, and I hope we can remain friends, but I have to let you know that I’m totally in love with Josie.” She took Barb’s hands in hers, waiting for a response. Saying the words out loud made them real. That it made her feel sad instead of excited wasn’t something she needed to admit to.
Barb squeezed her hands gently. “I kind of thought that might be happening. Josie’s eyes light up when she looks at you, and I’ve sort of felt your distraction the last few times we’ve been together. I regret that I never dragged you into bed. This might surprise you after we talked about how forward I can be, but I’ve only slept with one woman. That was the lover I told you about. I can’t jump into bed for the sake of it. I need to feel a connection that goes beyond desire. I need to feel love and commitment before I can offer the vulnerability of sex, and I didn’t think that was happening between us, even though I really wanted it to.” She let go of Kelly’s hands and shrugged. “I don’t know if we would’ve gotten to that point, but I think you and Josie make a great couple, and I hope it works out for you.”
Kelly took a moment to process Barb’s straightforward honesty before responding. “You are amazing and will make some lucky woman very happy.” She kissed her one last time before watching her return to her vehicle and drive away. She backed out of the parking lot and turned her thoughts toward her life miles south of Drummond Island. She didn’t need to tell Barb that she and Josie weren’t a couple, and it didn’t look like they ever would be. She’d acknowledged that her heart was taken, and that was enough truth to share. Now she just had to figure out how to accept that knowledge herself.
* * *
Kelly opened her garage door from the car, happy for the familiar sound. She’d stopped only once halfway home for gasoline. All she wanted was distance from the crazy emotional roller coaster she’d been on, and she couldn’t get home fast enough. She tried to ignore the idea that her bed would feel extremely empty.
“Hi, sis. How was your trip?” Tory asked as she grabbed Kelly’s bag after swinging the door open and giving her a big hug.
“A long ride home. But overall, it was good.”
“Cool. I made roast chicken for dinner. Sit and tell me all about Drummond Island.”
“Thanks, Tor.” She sat in her favorite chair and Tory’s little dog, MacIntosh, settled in her lap. “I see he’s made himself at home.” She hugged him, rubbed his belly, and reveled in the feeling of being home. “I had a relaxing vacation, and I feel good about what I accomplished at the new nursing home, but it’s good to be home.” She leaned her head on the back of her chair and wondered what Josie was doing.
“Are you back to work tomorrow?”
“No. I’ll go back next week. I wasn’t even scheduled to return until October, so I’m going to take a few days and ride Pogo.” Kelly stroked MacIntosh’s soft hair, wishing it were Josie’s head resting in her lap. She shook off her lamentations and resolved to move on. There were plenty of women she could date. She just had to go out and find them.
“Sounds like a good plan. I know he’s missed you. He’s been off his feed for the past few days. I had Dr. Berglund take a look at him yesterday, and everything checked out fine. He told me to have you call him if he doesn’t perk up after you get home.”
“Thanks, Tory. I’m going to check on him before we eat, then I want to hear how school’s going.” Kelly went out to the barn to check on her horse, enjoying the feeling of familiarity. She’d missed her daily routine with Pogo, but the break had been a refreshing change. She worked to convince herself that she could settle back into her everyday life and forget Josie, but her heavy heart told her otherwise.
“Hey, boy. I missed you.” Kelly grabbed a brush and spent the next hour brushing Pogo and telling him all about her trip. She tossed a fresh flake of hay into his stall and checked that his water bucket was full before heading back to the house. That little bit of routine helped settle her soul, and it was good to be home again.
“Everything good out there?” Tory asked as she set plates on the kitchen table.
“Yeah. I’ve missed my boy. He seems to be fine. Dug right into his grain and hay.” Kelly retrieved silverware and water glasses before sitting at the table.
“Are you going to tell me what happened?” Tory sliced pieces of chicken and set them on the table before sitting across from Kelly.
“What do you mean?” Kelly avoided looking at her sister, knowing how observant she could be.
“You look genuinely happy to be home, but there’s a sadness in your eyes that definitely wasn’t there when you left.”
Kelly considered her response for a moment. Even as a child, Tory had seemed to be able to read Kelly’s feelings. Tory was twenty years younger than her, and Kelly was proud of the young woman she’d grown to be. Maybe talking about Josie would dispel some of the empty ache that had taken up residence in her gut. She took a bite of chicken and swallowed before speaking. “I met someone.” She struggled to come up with words to describe her feelings. “I guess I should say I met someone and she became very important to me.”
“Ah. This doesn’t sound like a cheerful story, based on your despondent expression.”
“No, it didn’t end too well. I fell hard for the woman who owns the lesbian resort where I stayed, but the feeling wasn’t reciprocated, or if it was, she was too scared to admit it.” Kelly stabbed a cooked carrot, remembering all that Josie had spoken with her touch but denied with words.
“I’m sorry that happened, sis, but you are an incredible woman, and I have no doubt there’s someone out there for you who’ll appreciate and love you.” Tory reached across the table to take her hand.
“Thanks, Tory. I’ll be all right. I just need time to heal, I suppose.” She hoped her heart was listening.
* * *
Kelly spent the next day helping Tory pack for her trip back to her dorm and taking time to ride Pogo. She began to settle back into her life at home, hoping the memory of Josie’s touch, her smile, her gentle way with her nooko, would begin to fade. By the end of the week, she gave up and decided to go back to work.
“Good morning, Megan. How’re things around here?” Kelly leaned on the counter at the nurses’ station.
Megan stood and hurried out of her seat to hug her. “I’m so glad you’re back!”
“I’m glad to hear I was missed.” Kelly grinned and stepped out of her embrace. “Fill me in on things before I head to Jan’s office.”
After listening to a quick rundown from Megan, she headed to Jan’s office and listened to more. Then, finished with Janis, Kelly settled into her duties as if she’d never been gone. When her rumbling stomach reminded her it was nearly lunchtime, she went in search of Debby. Debby stood with her back to the door so Kelly spoke quietly so as not to startle her. “Anyone home?”
“Hey, you’re back! Janis didn’t tell me you’d be in today.” Debby closed the top of the pill bottle she’d been filling and set it aside.
“I just finished my rounds and thought I’d see if you wanted to meet for lunch?”
“Absolutely. I want to hear all about that sexy woman in uniform.” She grinned.
“Not much to hear about. I’ll meet you in the lunchroom.” Kelly realized she hadn’t thought about Barb for a couple of days, but there wasn’t room since her thoughts were filled with Josie.
She sat at one of the tables waiting for Debby and wondering what Josie and Ruth were having for lunch. She allowed herself a moment of longing before pushing it aside. Josie had stated clearly she wasn’t in the market for anything permanent, but Kelly’d allowed herself to hope, to take a chance she could convince her by sleeping with her and showing her the depth of her feelings. Guess that didn’t work. Debby’s arrival interrupted her reflections.
“Hey. You look a million miles away.”
“I’m fine. Just remembering how nice it was to be on vacation.” And in bed with Josie.
“It was great. Alex and I are planning to go back next year. So, tell me about Barb.” Debby opened a bottle of Coke and looked at her expectantly.
“Barb and I decided we were better friends than lovers.”
“That’s it?”
“Yeah.” When it came to Barb, that really was it. Aside from the issue with Josie, there simply hadn’t been a real spark with Barb, which was easy enough to admit now that she had some distance.
“Why do I sense there’s more going on here?”
Kelly sat back in her chair. She questioned her ability to talk about Josie without breaking down. She took a deep breath, supposing it might help to share her feelings with a close friend. “I slept with Josie.” The words slipped out like a release of a pressure cooker and she felt the tears well in her eyes.
Debby reached for her hand. “I have a feeling this story isn’t going to end well.”
“I’m upset with myself for hoping for something she couldn’t give. She was perfectly clear when she told me she didn’t want a relationship, and I had to go and find out the hard way.”
“Then she’s a fool, and she doesn’t deserve you. I’ve known you for years. You’re a strong woman, and you’ll get through this. Why don’t you come over for dinner tonight? Alex is making shepherd’s pie, and we’re going to watch The Wizard of Oz.”
Kelly smiled at her friend, grateful for her attempt to distract her. “What time should I be there?”
She walked back to her station feeling the heaviness in her chest lighten. An evening spent with friends would be a wonderful diversion.
Kelly and Megan finished reviewing the patients and revised the nursing schedule for the week. She closed her laptop with a sigh. “You’ve done an excellent job here, Megan.”
Love Came Calling Page 19