by Liwen Y. Ho
Abby blinked, not quite believing how raw and sincere Aiden sounded. Her heart ached for him, to know what he’d gone through, how lonely he must’ve been all these years. Even still, she felt the need to speak her mind. “You might be the oldest in the family, but it doesn’t mean you have to be perfect. I hate to break it to you, but you’re not perfect. Never have been, never will be. We’re all human and flawed.
“There was a time when I tried to have it all together. I wanted to be the best sister I could be to my younger sister—to protect her and keep her from getting hurt. But there were too many variables out of my control. Our dad leaving was one of them. Then I fell for all the wrong guys and became this bitter person who was not fun to be around. I know all about being flawed.” She sucked in a breath as she realized how much she’d revealed to Aiden. What was it about this guy that made her act like a bumbling fool? Perhaps it was better this way. Now he’d see her for who she was: everything that Mandy wasn’t. “No one’s perfect. That’s why we need God. You don’t have to deal with everything on your own. I don’t think your brothers would want that for you. I imagine Mandy wouldn’t have either.”
“You’re right. Thanks for reminding me.” He blew out a long breath. “You know, it’s nice to be able to talk to you. I feel like I can talk to you about anything. It’s strange since we barely know each other.”
“Yeah, well, maybe it’s because we’ve struggled with some of the same things,” she answered as nonchalantly as possible.
“Yeah, maybe. You know, I haven’t felt this way since Mandy was alive. It almost feels like I’m talking to her—.”
“Aiden, no.” This was exactly what Abby was afraid of. “I’m not Mandy. I could never be. It sounds like she had some really big shoes to fill.”
“No, she had the smallest feet. She wore a size six. She still fit into her favorite sneakers from seventh grade when she was in high school.”
Abby looked down at her large feet encased in a pair of fuzzy slippers. They reflected how she felt: faded, worn out, and blue. If her life were a fairy tale, she’d play the role of Cinderella. If only there was a chivalrous man like the prince searching for her. It didn’t matter though when her feet would never fit the dainty shoes of a princess. “Yeah, that wouldn’t work. Mine are a size nine. I inherited these bad boys from my dad, along with my big mouth.”
He chuckled softly. When he spoke again, his tone was nostalgic. “Mandy had the smallest mouth, too. She wore braces all throughout middle school, headgear and all. Thankfully, she only needed the headgear twelve hours a day. She hated it though, but I thought she looked cute. She made just about anything look cute ...” His voice trailed off.
Yep, he was still hung up on his old girlfriend. It was time to end the call and this—whatever it was. Abby squared her shoulders and set her jaw. “Hey, I need to go. It was nice chatting with you. Thanks for playing it forward. All of us at 103.1 appreciate—”
“Hold on,” Aiden interrupted her. “Do you think we could have dinner again? I know our last date didn’t end on the best terms. I’d like to try again if you’re willing.”
An image of his gorgeous smile popped into her head. Argh. Those dimples alone could make her lose her sense of reason. She longed to accept Aiden’s invitation, but she wouldn’t. Not when she knew he only wanted to spend time with her because she reminded him of the love of his life. “That’s nice of you, but I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“If you’re still upset about me leaving you with the bill, I promise I’ll pay for that meal and this one, too. That’s why you left the hospital, wasn’t it? Because I was a jerk. I’m sorry I treated you direspect—”
“That’s not why!” Abby had had enough of his apologizing. She’d heard stuff like this before from her ex and had believed him enough to take him back—time and time again. She’d bought into his lies, especially the one about her being too ugly for anyone else to love. Well, she was done with all of that. Even if no man loved her for who she was, God did. His love was enough. “Aiden, you need to face the facts. I can’t be who you want me to be. You need to move on.”
“I don’t want to move on,” he blurted. “I mean, I do want to move on from the past, but it’s going to take time. But with your help, I think I can get there sooner, faster.”
Was that all she was good for? “I can’t be your crutch.”
“Why? Is having a crutch a bad thing? Think of it as auto-tune. Even the best singers use it when their voice is shot. It’s something they use when they need time to heal, to be their best.”
Great. He was comparing her to a computer software? “I’m sorry to break it to you, but real artists don’t use auto-tune. They suck it up and push through the hard times. You’re going to have to find a way to get on with your life. I can’t be a replacement for your old girlfriend. I can’t be Mandy.”
“Wh-what?” he spluttered. “Why would I want you to be Mandy?”
“Because I look like her. It’s the only reason why you’d be interested in me.”
“Is that what you think?”
“That’s what I know.” She lifted her glasses with the palm of her hand, feeling a trace of wetness on her cheek. She scolded herself for crying. Aiden Spark was not worth her tears. She wouldn’t let him be. She tugged her robe around herself and whispered, “Take care, Aiden. Please don’t call me again,” she added before hanging up.
Chapter Nineteen
Aiden
Aiden slumped onto the carpet, his hand still clutching his phone. So much for trying to make things right with Abby. They’d been having a great conversation and getting along so well. She’d even divulged some personal information about her past to him. If that didn’t show she trusted him, he didn’t know what did. Why had she shut him out again?
His gaze landed on the photo sitting on his bedside table. He put his phone down and picked up the frame. He ran his finger over the glass, tracing the outline of her face. Was what Abby said true? Did he only enjoy her company because she reminded him of his first love? He had to admit that fact didn’t hurt. But so much about Abby didn’t resemble Mandy.
For starters, there was her voice. It was much louder and livelier, especially when their conversations got heated. There was also her temperament. Abby knew how to push his buttons like no one else did. She also spoke the truth to him when others wouldn’t dare. Truth that made him reevaluate the way he’d been living and the lies he’d been believing. Such as the one about his past, that he’d never be able to move on from it.
But he no longer believed that. The trajectory of his life had changed when he met Abby, so much so that he felt at peace doing something he never thought he’d do. He kissed Mandy’s photo, then tucked it away safely in a drawer. He was ready to start living—and loving—again.
A knock on the door paused his pondering. Aiden checked his watch and realized he’d been holed up in his room for a good twenty minutes. He called out for his brother to come in.
The door cracked open, letting in light from the hallway. Brandon stuck his head in and gave him a curious look. “Is everything okay? What happened with Abby?”
Aiden sighed. “The better question is, what didn’t? She doesn’t want anything to do with me, Bran. She told me to never call her again.” He laughed wryly. “Which is a funny request, considering she’s the one who keeps calling me.”
His brother opened the door all the way and entered. “So, she called to tell you that?”
“No, she called about work.” Aiden gave him a quick rundown of Abby’s call. “So, is everything okay? Not really. But I can’t do anything about it.”
Brandon strode to the edge of the bed, taking slow but deliberate steps, like the question he posed next. “That’s it?”
“What do you mean? Yes, that’s it. She told me she thinks I’m only interested in her because she looks like Mandy. What am I supposed to say to that?”
“Well, is it true?”
“Of cou
rse not.” He rose and began pacing, making a path from his bed to the door and back again. Running his hands through his hair, he tried to release his frustration. “I like who she is and how she’s not afraid to speak her mind. She makes me think about things, things I haven’t wanted to think about in a long, long time.”
“About Mandy?”
He stopped and faced his brother. “No, about God.”
Brandon’s brows lifted. “Oh. I wasn’t expecting that.”
Pushing out a crooked smile, Aiden remarked, “To be honest, me neither.”
“So, uh …” Brandon stuck his hands in the pockets of his shorts and rocked on his heels. “Do you care to share ...”
“What I’ve been thinking about?”
“Yeah. Only if you want to,” he added casually.
Aiden copied his brother’s tone and answered, “Not really.”
“You don’t? Okay, it’s cool—”
“I’m joking, Bran.”
“Wow, and I thought we only had one actor in the family.” He paused. “Wait, I take that back. You’ve been acting long before Evan ever did.”
Even in the dim room, Aiden glimpsed sadness in his brother’s eyes. “What are you talking about?”
“You’ve been putting on an act ever since Mandy died. Trying to be strong and in control, never asking for help from anyone. But the truth is you haven’t been okay. Seeing you tonight, back to who you used to be, confirms it. This is who you’re meant to be, the guy who cares about things like songwriting and eating good food and life and people.”
He blinked twice, not believing the things coming out of Brandon’s mouth. He’d never spoken so assertively before. But everything he said was true. “You’re right. I haven’t been myself. I lost my direction, I lost hope. I almost lost my faith. I’ve been mad at myself, but even more mad at God.”
Brandon took a seat next to him. “It’s okay to feel that way. He already knows how you feel. You can’t hide it from him.”
Aiden nodded. “I know. I’m working on talking to Him again. And trying to have faith, even about things that don’t make sense. This thing with Abby is certainly one of them. I don’t know what to do. How do I convince her I like her for who she is? Come on, you’re the romance writer. What would your characters do to win over the girl?”
“Uh, do you want the creative answer or the canned one?”
“Both.”
“Well, it’s one and the same, really. It depends on how you want to do it.”
“So, what is it?” He tapped his foot impatiently, his toes leaving imprints in the plushy carpet. “How do I convince Abby?”
Brandon grinned. “With a grand romantic gesture. You know the kind where the guy does something crazy and unexpected like serenading her in front of a crowd or—” his eyes lit up “—saving her life!”
“I think I’ll leave the life-saving to Darren,” Aiden answered. “But singing—I can do that. I can definitely do that.” The gears in his head were giving off virtual sparks with how fast they were turning. He would use Abby’s love of music to his advantage. Even if she wouldn’t listen to him, she’d listen to her favorite band. “It’s going to take a miracle to make it happen, but I’m going to try.”
“What’s going to take a miracle?”
Aiden grabbed his phone off the table. “Getting Heartland back together. I haven’t talked to the guys in ages. I’m sure they still hate me.” Without his presence as the lead singer, sales had dwindled to the point where the record label ended their contract. He had effectively ended all their careers when he left. “It’s going to take an act of God to get them to agree to do this favor for me.”
“Then we better ask for His divine intervention.”
“Uh, okay, sure.” Asking God for help wasn’t the first thing that came to mind, especially since he’d ignored Him for so many years, but it was the right—and best—thing to do. “Like now?”
“Of course, right now.”
“All right.” Aiden closed his eyes and bowed his head. When almost ten seconds had passed in silence, he opened one eye to find his brother staring at him in amusement. “Are you going to pray?”
“I was waiting for you to.”
“Me?” He felt a bit rusty and out of practice, but he’d been a Christian long enough to know that words didn’t matter. As long as he had faith—and he was beginning to get some of it back now—God would hear him. He nodded and shut his eyes. “God, I need Your help. You know how much I like Abby. Thank you for bringing her into my life. I’m sorry I messed up the first time around with her, but I’d like another chance. Please help me make it possible. Thank you. In Jesus’s name, amen.”
Brandon clapped him on the shoulder and smiled. “You’re back, bro. What a relief. Now I don’t have to play the part of the older, bossy brother anymore.”
“Ha,” Aiden smirked. “It’s called leading, not bossing. That’s what leaders do.”
He rolled his eyes. “Whatever you call it, you do it well. I have a feeling you’ll have the band back together in no time. What guy in their right mind would turn down the chance to have girls screaming their name?”
“Uh, these aren’t teenagers we’re talking about. Our fans are all grown up. They’re women in their thirties now.”
“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with that age group. They’re the ones who buy my books. Speaking of, I can put the word out for you on social media since you don’t have an online presence. Or I could help get you started on that,” Brandon added hopefully.
Aiden smiled. “Sure. I’ll do it for Abby’s sake.” She was worth giving up his privacy for. He’d do just about anything to get her to talk to him again. God willing, she would.
Chapter Twenty
Abby
Abby peered out the passenger window of Candy’s car. She spotted her old sedan parked in the mechanic’s lot. Or what she thought was her car. The vehicle appeared to have gone through a makeover. It now boasted a new coat of shiny red paint, and a crack on the front windshield had been fixed. She squinted at the license plate, noting the familiar numbers and letters. Yup. It was her car, all right.
“I take it from the way your mouth’s hanging open that you approve,” Candy piped up next to her in the driver’s seat. “Your car almost looks like new.”
Swallowing her shock, Abby nodded. Almost two months had passed since the car accident, and if anyone had told her then how much she’d appreciate getting her car wrecked, she would’ve thought they were crazy. But hindsight was twenty-twenty. In the weeks since, she’d made a new friend. Candy was like the older sister she never had. A bit headstrong, but with good intentions. And one of them was ensuring Abby didn’t need to take public transportation anymore. “I love it. But I can’t afford this extra stuff. I had to borrow money from you just to fix it.”
“Hey, don’t worry about it.” Candy waved her hand to end her protests. She parked her car and turned to face Abby. “Consider this an early Christmas present from me. If you like it, I’m happy. Receive the blessing.”
Abby opened her mouth again to protest, but held back. Instead, she chewed on her lower lip as she stared out the window again. What a blessing indeed, and yet another reminder of God’s grace in her life. Who was she to turn it down? She met Candy’s gaze. “Okay, I receive it. But I’m still going to pay you back for the repairs.”
Candy tapped her French-manicured nails on the steering wheel and pursed her red lips. “About that …”
“What?” Quirking a brow, Abby balked. “I can’t let you pay for that, too. It cost a few thousand dollars!”
“Oh, I’m not paying for it. Someone else offered to.”
The playful lilt of her voice, along with the wide-eyed, innocent look she gave her, told Abby more than she wanted to know. “You can’t possibly be talking about Aiden.”
“Of course I am. And why wouldn’t I be? He’s the only thing the tabloids talk about these days,” she joked. “Or haven’t you noticed?
”
Oh, she’d noticed. Aiden Sparks had done a complete about-face and given up his privacy, totally and completely. It all started when one of his students—who was also a listener of the station—sent in a photo of him. Not a photo taken in secret, but a selfie taken by the professor himself, with his class in the background.
Soon after, Marcus informed her Aiden was now on social media—everywhere. News about him spread quickly after that as the paparazzi started showing up at the college and his home. She saw the headlines and photos whenever she stood in line at the grocery store. Or opened up the celebrity news sites. Headlines such as, Former Heartland Hottie Back in the Spotlight and Meet America’s Hottest Professor! There were also the obviously fake ones: Aiden Sparks Reunites with Old Flame and Aiden Sparks Spotted with New Love. Abby only knew the latter were false because Candy gave her lengthy updates on Aiden whenever possible. He was keeping his distance like she’d told him to.
“He doesn’t need to do anything for me,” Abby insisted. “It’s my problem to deal with.”
“He’s not doing this out of obligation, Abby. Don’t you get it? He cares about you.” Candy took a deep breath and released it. “You’re the first thing he’s cared about since—”
“Let me guess. Since Mandy?” She didn’t mean to be rude and interrupt, but she’d heard enough about Aiden’s incredible girlfriend. Enough to know she’d never live up to her.
“Yes.” Candy tilted her head and studied her. “I hope you know how big of a deal this is. When Mandy died, a big part of Aiden died, too. He went through a really rough patch. He did plenty of things he regrets to this day. He didn’t tell me these things, but he didn’t have to. You could see it in the way he lived. He lost his passion for music. He lost hope and faith in anything good coming his way. For you to come along and change all that is nothing short of a miracle. Colin, his other brothers, and I—we’re all incredibly grateful. But the most grateful person of all is Aiden. Him doing things for you is his way of showing you that. That’s all.”