“Imagine it,” he says. “Had to spend every holiday with that fucker. Christmas, my birthday . . .” He trails off. “I hated him.”
“But why would she do that?” Blair is dumbfounded.
“Don’t know . . .” He closes his eyes tight, pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. “Guess she loved him more than me.”
“Baby . . .” Blair shifts position and wraps her arms around Nathan, hugging him tight. He hugs her back and she can hear his heartbeat through his chest, his breath shaking. She wishes she could erase the pain.
Eventually, he draws back, wiping his eyes. “Kept that secret for years.” He looks down at her with a wry smile. “See, I am a good liar after all.”
She puts her hand to his jaw.
Nathan lets out his breath. “Irony is he eventually left her. Not the other way around.”
“Lori does love you,” Blair says. “I think she’s just really messed-up.”
“Yeah.”
Something occurs to Blair. “What about your Uncle Lance? Did he know what happened?”
Nathan shakes his head, pressing his lips together. “No, he didn’t know. My mom made me promise not to tell him.”
“And you kept that promise?”
“I was a kid. And she’s my mom, so yeah, I kept it.” He looks at her. “Wanted to tell him, though. I hate secrets.”
“What would your uncle have done?”
His face grows serious. “He would have beat the shit out of Curtis. Maybe even killed him.”
Blair nods.
He picks up her hand, brings it to his mouth and kisses her palm. “It was probably best I didn’t tell him. Didn’t want the one person who really cared about me going to prison, you know?”
Blair watches him, but doesn’t say anything more. Thinks about what a heavy burden that must have been for a child. Wishes she could do some damage to Curtis herself. Lori, too.
And then it dawns on her.
“Oh, my God, that’s why you never had the bump fixed, isn’t it?”
Nathan eyes flash to hers.
“You wanted her to have to see it every day, to remind her of what happened.”
He’s still holding her hand, and he clutches it tight. There’s a storm of emotion behind his eyes, but then Blair watches them go calm and steady. “That’s right.”
When the goulash is done, they dish out a couple of big bowls for themselves and take it outside to eat on the back deck. The sun has gone down, and Blair lights two of Tori’s IKEA lanterns.
It’s a peaceful spring night, and the air almost tastes like summer.
Nathan can’t seem to pull his eyes from her, so they’re constantly gazing at each other. Blair discovers it’s a relief to finally be able to look at him as much as she wants.
At least I don’t have to hide that anymore.
“This is delicious,” she says, devouring her bowl of goulash. “They taught you well. I’d say they almost turned you into a Hungarian.”
Nathan laughs. “That’s what they used to say, ‘Egy magyar embert csinálok belőled.’ He grins. “A Hungarian man made it.”
“Do you speak Hungarian, too?”
“I picked up a little.”
“What other languages did you ‘pick up’?”
“Learned some Thai and a little Marathi when I was in Mumbai.”
“Really? That’s impressive.”
“Guess so.” He shrugs, stirring his food. “Turns out I have kind of an ear for languages.”
As they eat, Eddie, Duff, and Tommy Lee are sitting nearby, patiently watching. One of the cats, Joan, is also outside, but she doesn’t seem interested in their food and wanders off into the yard to hunt for her own evening snack.
After finishing their bowls, Blair gets up and goes to put them in the kitchen sink with the dogs trailing behind her. They’re following her every move with such anticipation that Blair finally decides, what the heck, and gives them each a little bowl of goulash.
“I decided to give the dogs some goulash,” she tells Nathan when she goes back outside.
He’s gazing up at the night sky, deep in thought, but turns to her with a grin tugging at his mouth. “Not sure if that was such a good idea, babe.”
“Why not?”
“Goulash dog farts? Don’t even want to know what those are going to smell like.”
Blair’s eyes go wide. “I didn’t even think about that!”
He chuckles. “Probably have to fumigate the whole house.”
“We’ll just open all the windows. It’ll be fine.”
“If you say so.”
She walks over to where he’s sitting on one of the steps leading into Tori’s yard.
He reaches up for her hand and pulls her down to sit close beside him, their legs touching. “So, what about you, princess?” He keeps her hand, intertwining their fingers. “Any dark skeletons in your childhood closet?”
Blair sighs. The truth is she had a great childhood. She always felt safe and loved, and she knows what a gift her parents gave her. Oddly, the only skeleton—if you could call it that—was her unrequited love for him. Her obsession nearly eclipsed everything in her life—at least during high school and into her twenties, all the way up until they got married. “No,” she says. “I had a wonderful childhood.”
He nods. “I can imagine. A beautiful princess living in a fairytale castle.”
“I wouldn’t go that far.”
“Mom some kind of corporate hotshot, dad is a . . .” Nathan looks at her in confusion. “What does your dad do again?”
“He’s a CFO.”
“That’s right. And two younger brothers to do your bidding.”
She scoffs. “Hardly. It’s more like they were there to annoy me. And I didn’t live in a fairytale castle.” But then she feels bad because she realizes, compared to the house he and Tori grew up in, it was a castle. “I’m not really a princess, either.”
He tugs on her hand. “Stop talking and let me finish my story.”
“Okay, go ahead.”
“The beautiful princess has long, flowing red hair and pretty hazel eyes. She’s kind of a crazy perfectionist, but at the same time, no one can deny the castle is clean and cozy.”
Blair snorts with laughter.
“She has a little dog named Scooter and a white cat named Fluffy who adore her and follow her everywhere.”
“Sorry to interject, Mr. Storyteller Man, but our dog’s name was Gypsy and our black cat was Shadow.”
“Scooter and Fluffy,” he says pointedly, “sleep at the foot of the princess’s pink canopy bed every night.”
Blair looks at him in amazement. “How did you know I had a pink canopy bed?”
He smirks. “Because you’re a princess.”
“Hmm, I’m not sure what I think of this story.”
“The beautiful princess has a beautiful life, with lots of friends and family who shower her with love every day.”
She meets his eyes, but doesn’t say anything.
He brings up her hand and kisses it. “I’m happy you had that, babe. Real glad for you.”
Blair watches him, her heart in her throat. “Isn’t there a prince in this story somewhere?”
“I’m getting to that part. Don’t be so impatient.”
She can’t help her smile, notices the cat Joan has come over to them, and reaches down to pet her.
“One day, the princess meets a charming prince. He’s not perfect, but he’s a decent man and he falls deeply in love with the beautiful princess . . .”
Nathan goes quiet and when she looks at him, he’s gazing at her in a way she’s never seen before. His laser focus turned on, but softer.
“Do they get married and live happily ever after?”
“Course.”
“Because I like a happy ending.”
He’s still gazing at her. “Don’t know if you’ve figured it out yet, Blair.”
“Figured what out?”
>
He continues to hold her hand, his eyes dazzling as jewels even under the night sky. “I’ve fallen for you.”
Her breath catches as she stares at him. “What do you mean?” Her heart is pounding. There’s a choir of angels ready to sing, but they’re waiting to be sure. “When you say you’ve fallen for me.”
Nathan grins a little. “It means I’ve fallen in love with you.” He brings her hand to his mouth then turns to meet her gaze, his expression serious. “I love you, Blair.”
She blinks. Then blinks again. Her mouth is open, but she can’t manage any sound. There’s a riot of emotion surging through her. Excitement, joy, and mostly amazement.
He’s watching her. “Can see you’re stunned. Do you have any kind of feelings for me at all?”
Blair closes her eyes. The angels are singing now and there’s a parade, too, with streamers and a marching band.
“I do,” she manages to say. She gazes at him with all the love she’s held back for years. “I have feelings for you.”
“Yeah?” Nathan smiles. “Because I can’t stop thinking about you. You’ve changed my life.”
“I have?”
He nods. “The way you are. I love being with you. No games. Straight-up about everything. It’s a revelation for me.” He licks his lips. “Never been with a woman I could trust like this.”
She takes in his words. “Is that right?” she murmurs. The choir of angels is still singing, but they’re giving each other nervous looks now.
“I know you had your heart broken not long ago,” he goes on. “But do you think you could ever give me a chance?”
“Nathan, I don’t think you understand. I’m already in love with you.”
“Babe, it’s okay. You don’t have to say that.”
“But it’s true.”
He’s still smiling, and she can tell he doesn’t believe her.
How ironic is this?
“I’ve been thinking about something else, too,” he says. “And maybe it’s a crazy idea, but what do you say we try and make things work between us? Give it a real shot?”
Blair closes her eyes again and lets out her breath. She’s waited for this moment her whole life, dreamed about it, prayed for it, and now that it’s finally here, she wants to revel in it.
But then something occurs to her.
I’m still locked in a box.
She can’t tell him the true depths of her feelings, how she’s been in love with him for years, not after all that stuff he just said about no games and being straight-up, about how much he trusts her. He’d never understand the way she’s kept all these secrets, not to mention what she did to him.
I don’t care. I want him. He never has to know the rest of it.
“I’d like that.” She opens her eyes.
“You would?”
Blair studies his handsome face and knows this man is it for her. This is her prince. End of story. “And I’m not just saying ‘I love you’ because you did,” she tells him fiercely. “I really love you.”
His eyes widen with surprise. “You do?”
“Yes, I do.” She puts her hand to his cheek and whispers, “You’re the only one.”
There’s a glimmer of confusion on his face, but then it’s gone, replaced with an incredulous joy, so beautiful to see. He grins. “Babe, I didn’t know it was happening to you, too. You never said a word.”
“I know.”
Nathan’s voice goes low and warm. “Sounds like we finally do have something to celebrate.”
Road took another swig of whiskey.
“No more, okay?” Blair gently pulled the bottle from his hand and put it on her nightstand. His tolerance for alcohol seemed remarkably high, but he’d drunk almost a full bottle of Jack Daniels, and she didn’t want him to pass out on her.
“Sure.” His eyes were on her body again, stroking her breasts. “Whatever you say, princess.”
She climbed on the bed and he followed her, and it wasn’t long before they were kissing.
Blair hugged him to her, and she loved the feel of his skin. The taste of his mouth. His incredible scent. Everything. Even with Road drinking, she could tell they had sexual chemistry, and she wasn’t surprised at all. She always knew they would.
“Lie on your back,” she whispered in his ear. “I want to go down on you.”
Road grinned. “Words every man loves to hear.”
He didn’t do it, though, and instead kissed her some more before sitting up partway on his elbow. She’d been admiring him earlier, but now it seemed like he wanted to admire her.
She watched his eyes wander over her naked body. “Look at you,” he said softly. “So elegant and pretty, and all mine tonight.”
Blair’s breath caught.
Road’s hand traveled over her breasts, down her stomach, then lower to her inner thigh. He stared at her there for a few seconds, before slipping his hand between them.
Her eyes fell shut when he touched her, his fingers gentle. Stroking. She gasped as he slid them inside her.
When she opened her eyes, Road was studying her face. Lips parted. Blair couldn’t resist pulling him down to her again. Moaning as she kissed him, her love and desire a current too strong to contain. A river overflowing its banks. His breath hitched as he brought up both hands to hold her head still, kissing her deeply. He tasted like whiskey, but something else, too. His own essence. The mystery of Road.
Finally, she pushed him onto his back and heard him chuckle a little. When she sat up and put her hand on his cock, he stopped chuckling. She heard his intake of breath.
He watched her, those amazing eyes, bleary with arousal and intoxication, as she lowered her mouth onto him.
“Goddamn,” he whispered. His hand immediately grabbing a handful of her hair.
She used her mouth on him for a while, before stopping purposefully to look up at him, enjoying his pleasure in an almost selfish way. Blair ran her hand over his muscular stomach, up to his chest. His eyes were half-lidded, his breath unsteady.
I’ll never forget this, she thought. Never.
“Come up,” he said, pulling on her shoulders. “Best stop before things end too soon.”
She laid on top of him as he stroked her body. His fingers trailing down to her ass, eyeing her with desire. “Think I have a condom,” he said, his voice husky. “Should I get it?”
Blair could feel his hard-on pushing against her stomach. She closed her eyes, enjoying the feel of it, knowing he was hard for her. She didn’t want a piece of rubber between them. She didn’t want anything between them. Nothing. They had to be skin to skin. She wanted the whole experience.
It has to be pure Road.
She swallowed. And then Blair said the four words that would haunt her forever.
“I’m on the pill,” she lied.
“You are?” His voice still husky, slightly slurred now, though she could hear the lust in it.
“Yes.”
Without another word, he rolled them both over so she was on her back. The weight of him pressing her into the mattress. Road reached down, and she felt him right there, pushing at her center.
He wasn’t rough, but he wasn’t gentle either, thrusting into her. It didn’t matter, though, because she wanted him any way she could have him. In fact, she was already grabbing his shoulders, gasping with pleasure.
Road started moving on top of her, breathing hard, as she closed her eyes and inhaled him. All the love and desire she had barreling through her. All the years of wanting him.
She’d fantasized about this so many times, it was hard to believe it was actually happening. The luxury of being intimate with Road.
Then suddenly, he was moving faster, groaning at the same time. Blair was confused.
No, it can’t be.
He stopped moving, his weight heavy and still on top of her.
Yes, it was.
Road rolled off her onto his back, still breathing hard. “Nice . . .” he muttered. He muttered s
omething else, too, but she couldn’t tell what it was.
And then without further preamble, he snorted once and fell asleep.
EDGE OF ZEN hits number five on the list for The New York Times best sellers. It also hits the USA Today list for the first time and is in the top ten on Amazon.
Nathan stares at his computer screen in disbelief as Fiona paces the living room floor, talking rapidly into her phone.
“Perfect!” He hears her say, before walking over to him. “I managed to book you on a Seattle morning talk show.”
Nathan pulls his eyes from the screen, still recovering from the shock of seeing his book ranked so high. “You want me to go on television?”
“Of course.” She’s scrolling through her phone. “We have to work the ‘Seattle homeboy’ angle as much as possible.”
“When is this supposed to happen?”
“Tomorrow morning. We got lucky and they had a cancellation. Isn’t that fantastic?”
“Tomorrow?” His mouth opens. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
She laughs at his expression. “Don’t worry, you’ll be fine. Just talk about Edge of Zen. And don’t say anything embarrassing! I told them you had media training to help convince them to give us the spot.”
“Christ,” he mutters. “What the hell is media training?”
Fiona stares at her phone and sips the latte she somehow manages to have delivered every morning. “I’m calling my contact in Portland right now. We’ll hit the whole West Coast. Plus, I have some fabulous ads set to run next week in a few of the major papers. We need more A-list blogger support, too.”
Road nods. “I could call in a few favors.” He’s always been happy to support other bloggers, and figures some of them would be willing to help him now.
“I’m going to call my contact at Publisher’s Weekly and get the buzz. We should start looking at book signings, but mainly more ads and TV.”
“More television?” Nathan lets out his breath. “I’m not so sure about all this, Fiona.”
“Oh, my God!” She stares at him in exasperation. “Do you want your book at number one or not? Do you?”
“Course.”
“Then man up!”
He glares at her for a few seconds, but then can’t help himself and starts chuckling. “This is some crazy shit.”
Return of the Jerk (Sweet Life in Seattle, Book 2) Page 29