“Ah,” she said. “So, that’s what this is about?”
“Sort of.”
“I can assure you the kiss meant nothing,” she said, her words stinging. “I’ve been taking some time for myself. Trying to figure things out. Trying to move forward. It has nothing to do with you, Jude. To be honest, I’m shocked you took it personally.”
“When someone ignores my calls and texts, then yeah, it becomes personal.” My jaw clenched. “What was I supposed to think, Evie?”
She scratched her head probably trying to make something of all of this. “Jude, we spent a few days together. We had fun together. But at the end of the day, you’re my husband’s brother. We barely know each other. This seems a little extreme, you know?”
Fuck. She was right. I’d never let myself get this caught up in a girl before that it clouded my judgment. I was never the chaser. I was never the desperate one.
“Look, I promised my brother I’d take care of you,” I said in an attempt to redeem myself. “Forgive me for doing my part.”
I reached for the door handle of my car, but her soft hand upon mine stopped me. “Wait. Come inside. You can stay with me while you’re here.”
I followed her inside. She switched on the foyer light and kicked off her heels, immediately losing several inches of height as she stood in the doorway staring at me.
“As you can see, everything’s fine here,” she said. “I’m even back to eating again.”
I forced a smile. Being back in my brother’s house hit me harder than I expected. My innocent little brother and his kind, sweet wife lived here. I didn’t deserve to be standing there in her presence like a wolf in sheep’s clothing under the guise of being there to protect her and care for her.
“You okay?” she asked, her face softening and her arms dropping to her sides.
I ran my fingers through my hair, mussing it up a bit and sighing audibly. “What the fuck am I doing here?”
“Excuse me?” she asked.
“This was a bad idea.”
“What are you talking about?” Evie’s face was pinched. “Why are you acting so weird? You’re freaking me out right now, Jude.”
She reached for my hand tugging me gently into the living room where we sat side by side on the leather couch.
“Talk to me,” she said, her blue eyes expressively kind. She took my hand and held it between both of hers resting it on her knee.
“I enjoyed spending time with you, Evie,” I said, going for it. What did I have to lose? “I shouldn’t have kissed you. And when I didn’t hear from you for a couple of weeks, I panicked. I shouldn’t have just shown up like this. I’m sorry I freaked you out.”
Evie blushed, looking away as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “We’ll always be family.”
Rejected.
“Why did you kiss me, anyway?” she asked.
“It… just felt right,” I said with a defeated shrug. “I don’t know, Evie. I don’t have a good answer for you. I know this seems fucked up. I get it. You’re different from any other girl I’ve ever met. I enjoyed our weekend together. I guess I just got caught up.”
“I had no idea you felt this way,” she said, turning her gaze to meet mine. “I don’t know what to say.”
“I’m weak,” I said, squeezing her hand. “Don’t let a moment of weakness between us scare you away from me. I want to be around for a long time. I want to take care of you like Julian asked.”
“I don’t need you to take care of me,” she said, jerking her hand away. “I thought I made that clear to you before.”
“Dammit, Evie,” I said. “You’re this broken, beautiful little bird, and I want to take care of you. Let someone take care of you.”
“So, I’m an asshole if I don’t want someone’s help?” she asked, eyebrow raised. “Because that’s how you’re making me feel right now, Jude.”
“You’re putting words in my mouth,” I stood up, angry, and walked toward the door. The second my hand touched the knob, she stood up.
“Wait,” she said. She slipped her delicate hands into the pockets of her jeans and shrugged before glancing up at me through her dark lashes. “I feel it, too.”
My hand fell from the doorknob as I carefully walked back toward her.
“This thing between us,” she said. “Whatever it is, I feel it.”
I stifled the smile that wanted to envelop my face masking the ridiculous amount of happiness that flooded me with her words. I needed that validation. I needed to know I wasn’t crazy, that I wasn’t imagining things.
I stepped back into her space, my hand slipping up to her sweet face as I leaned down and claimed her lips once again. The faint taste of cinnamon on her tongue as our mouths danced sent electric currents down my spine. Kissing Evie made me feel alive in the most confusing sort of way.
She gently pulled back, her hand flying up to her mouth as her eyes met mine. “I just don’t know if it’s what Julian would’ve wanted.”
I hung my head in frustration, stepping back. “You have no idea what Julian would’ve wanted. We’re never going to know, Evie. You can speculate all you want if it makes you feel less guilty or whatever.”
She stared at the floor biting her lip.
“You’re scared.” I shot at her. She glared.
“How do I know I’m not just drawn to you because you’re the spitting image of Julian?” she asked. “You’re the older, healthier, stronger version of the love of my life, and I’m constantly comparing you to him, and that’s not fair to either of you.”
“Then stop.”
“It’s not that simple. Sometimes when I look at you, I see him.” She crossed her arms protectively as if it pained her to be vulnerable for two seconds.
“Do I remind you of him when you kiss me?” I asked.
She paused, hanging her head and then shaking it. “No. Not at all.”
“I can’t control what you see when you look at me,” I said. “That’s all you. But I can tell you that what you feel when you’re with me, that’s real. I feel it, too.”
She sunk down onto the couch, the vision of an emotionally exhausted woman who’d thought about this probably just as much, if not more, than I had.
“Want to know what I see when I look at you?” I offered. “I see a young woman who’s scared. She’s afraid to step out of her comfort zone. She’s afraid to question herself. She loves with all her heart, yet at the same time, she keeps her cards close not letting anyone in. She’s afraid to get hurt, but once she opens up, she has the most honest and beautiful soul.”
Her tired eyes began to mist indicating everything I said was right.
“She’s protective and loyal,” I continued. “And a little curious. She likes comfort and routine, but I know she’d be a little more adventurous about things if she had the right partner beside her.”
“Huh,” she said, staring down at her hands and running them across her thighs. “You don’t miss a thing, do you?”
“I see someone who has so much potential if she just stepped outside of her comfort zone and stopped living her life to make everyone else happy,” I added. “You could live this amazing life, Evie, but you’re terrified. I want to help you. I want to support you. I want to be there for you every step of the way. I want to be that one person you can count on no matter what.”
“I have Carys,” she said, her voice low. “And my family.”
I shook my head, frustrated. “You’re not listening to me, Evie. Stop being so goddamn stubborn and listen to me.”
She hid her face with her hair wiping the tears that had formed in the corners of her baby-blue eyes.
“Let me be there for you,” I said. “Allow yourself to be loved again. I’m not going to hurt you.”
She sniffled brushing the hair from her face and turning back to face me. “You barely know me. But you know me better than anyone. How is that possible?”
I leaned in to claim her lips, whispering, “Stop thinki
ng so much, Evie. Just feel.”
“Let’s… just… take things slow,” she pleaded.
“I’m not going to hurt you, Evie,” I whispered back. I meant every word.
I pressed my mouth against hers once more, my hand slipping down her side and resting on her hip as she leaned back into the sofa. Our bodies intertwined, I kissed her softly and gently despite the hunger that ached inside me like a beast needing to be fed. She ran her fingers through my hair, her nails barely scratching my scalp as she kissed me back. My hand entertained the idea of slipping up through the bottom of her shirt, but I stopped myself. I had to take things slow.
I climbed off her. “It’s late.”
Her eyes wrinkled, her lips swollen from kissing me. “Oh. Okay.”
“I’ll take the couch tonight,” I said, “… if that’s okay with you.”
16
EVIE
I pounced on Jude the next morning barely containing my excitement to wake up knowing he was there. Something about acknowledging my feelings felt freeing.
“Morning,” he said, his dark hair a disheveled mess on his head. His strong arms reached out pulling me on top of him as he buried his head in my hair and kissed the flesh of my neck.
“How long are you in town?” I asked.
“I have an open-ended ticket home,” he replied, brushing my long hair out of my face.
I slid off him allowing him to sit up. “I’m glad you said what you said last night. I was really confused about a lot of things. Still am. But your words solidified some of the feelings I was trying to ignore.”
“Ignoring your feelings is the worst thing you can do,” he huffed. “Believe me. They’ll come out in the worst way.”
I stood up, pulling back the thick, velvet curtains that covered the living room windows. I was okay with letting the light in that day. In fact, for the first time in weeks, I welcomed it. I jerked my body covering myself with the curtain the second I saw a black Range Rover creeping past my house.
“Shit,” I whispered.
“What’s wrong?” Jude asked, getting up and peering out the window. The heat of his body radiated off of his tattooed physique as he damn near towered over me. His eyes traveled to the Range Rover driving down the street, the only thing that looked out of place in my quaint little neighborhood.
“I think I have a secret admirer,” I quipped.
“That ex of yours,” Jude huffed. “If he bothers you, you tell me.”
I smiled. It felt good to feel protected even if I didn’t always admit it. “What’s the plan today?”
“Hadn’t thought that far,” he said. “I was half expecting you to slam the door in my face and half expecting you to be with that douchebag ex of yours.”
Jude tugged my arm and led me to the leather armchair by the fireplace pulling me into his lap.
“I have no interest in reuniting with him,” I assured him.
“Smart girl,” Jude said with an arrogant grin. “Hometown hero who also happens to be a giant douche or big city guy who happens to be ridiculously good-looking and crazy about you?”
I playfully slapped his chest appreciating his humor as we forged into the awkwardness of whatever the hell was going on between us. Jude made me laugh, something Julian rarely did. Julian loved me with a serious, unfaltering passion, and he lived his life in black and white. Jude lived his life in pure Technicolor.
“I’m going to hop in the shower if that’s okay,” Jude announced, gently nudging me off his lap.
“Fireworks tonight?” I called out to him as he trekked down the hall.
“Oh, yeah,” he said. “It’s July 4th, isn’t it?”
Nestled along the side of Odemeyer Road between car after car full of Haverford locals, we found a sweet little spot in the grass and spread out our blanket. The sun dipped down behind the horizon, and it was only a matter of time before the show began. The instant the sky darkened and filled with a billion tiny stars, fireworks shot up into the night. One after another, bright bursts of gorgeous colors splayed across the sky in various patterns creating a splendid sight. Pops and crackles ripped through the night air tickling our ears.
“What would you be doing tonight, if you were back home?” I asked, lying curled up under his arm.
“There’s a little restaurant by the ocean that my buddy owns,” he said. “He usually reserves a table on the roof for a bunch of us. We watch the fireworks from there. It’s tucked away. A special little place.”
“I’m sorry you’re missing that right now,” I said. “It sounds beautiful.”
He turned toward me. “I’d rather be here with you than there.”
“Really?”
“Move to California, Evie.” He propped himself up sliding his arm out from underneath me as the show continued above us. “I’m completely serious.”
I laughed. “Don’t be ridiculous. It’s one thing to talk about it, but it’s another thing actually to do it.”
“If I figure everything out for you and all you have to do is pack your bag and hop on a flight and be there tomorrow, would you?” His hazel eyes were completely serious. This wasn’t just pillow talk.
The fear of the unknown froze my words.
“What’s stopping you?” he demanded to know, his mouth pursed.
“My house, for one,” I said, between pops and crackles. “I don’t know how long it would take to sell it. I don’t know if I even want to sell it.”
“I’ll take care of that,” he said. “I’ll buy it from you. You can buy it back at any time.”
“That’s insane,” I laughed. “Also, I need a job.”
“I’ll take care of you until you find one,” he insisted as if it was simply a drop in the bucket for him.
“Then I’ll feel like I owe you,” I whined. “I don’t want to feel that way. And I certainly don’t want to feel like a mooch.”
“You’re not a mooch,” he said. “And you won’t owe me anything. I want to do this. I want to be with you. I just can’t do the long-distance thing. This is the only way it’s going to work, Evie.”
“But can’t you work from anywhere?” I asked. “Your company is online, right?”
“Yeah, but my headquarters is in LA. I have investors and partners there.”
“Veronica,” I huffed.
Jude’s full mouth parted into a wide smile. “Yes, Veronica. But she has nothing to do with anything. Believe me, that ship sailed years ago.”
“We’re missing the show. Can we talk about this later?” I changed the subject, rolling onto my back and focusing on the bursts of pink and purple and yellow searing through the night sky.
Jude leaned back dropping the subject until we were back in his car an hour later.
“Evie, we need to figure something out,” he said as he pulled into the traffic caravan leading out of Odemeyer Road.
I played dumb. “What are you talking about?”
“You know what I’m talking about,” he said, his words pressing in with a sense of urgency. “Are you moving west or not?”
“The thought of picking up and leaving and moving to be with someone I’ve only known a short time is terrifying,” I said, growing defensive. “You have to understand that.”
“Trying to have a relationship with someone halfway across the country is not doable for me.” His hands gripped the steering wheel. “Long distance relationships never work out. I want to give this a fair chance.”
“Where would I live?” I asked.
“You could stay with me until you get a job, and then I’d help you find a place,” he said as if it were a no-brainer. “And I’m completely serious about buying your house. If you don’t want to sell it, you could rent it out. That would give you some extra income, so you don’t feel so dependent on me for things. Not that I wouldn’t help you out.”
I bit my nails, my mind flooded with nervous excitement. The idea of packing my bags and hopping on a one-way flight terrified me, but on the other hand, it
was completely liberating and exhilarating.
“I’d rather not sell my house,” I said. “Just in case this doesn’t work, I need somewhere to come home to.”
“Understandable. I’ll help you find a renter, Evie.”
I glanced out the window at the passing farmland that lined the highway just outside of town. Would I ever miss this?
“Are you sure Jax will be okay with me staying with you guys for a bit?” I asked.
“Jax doesn’t know what day it is half the time,” Jude said with a smirk. “And if he’s not okay with it, well, I own the condo. I’ll tell him to take a hike.”
I rolled the window down allowing the muggy July air to seep in and mix with the cool air conditioning that blew on my face chilling my cheeks. As we entered town, red, yellow, and green lights from the stoplights on Main Street painted our faces, and the chirping of crickets filled our ears.
These were the streets I’d driven down my entire life. These were the streets I’d cruised with Carys in high school. The streets I’d driven down on my way to Spencer’s. The curbs I’d sat upon during parades. The ice cream shop I’d frequented as a child. The dress shop I’d purchased my wedding gown from and the jewelry shop that sold Julian my ring.
Jude reached his hand over taking my hand and giving me a reassuring squeeze. We pulled into my driveway a minute later silence still surrounding us. I appreciated Jude giving me time to think.
I fanned my face as I stood outside his car leaning against the door. The sweltering July heat and humidity made my hair cling to the back of my neck.
“You coming?” he asked, his face covered in a light sheen which reflected the moonlight. “I’m swimming in a thick haze out here.”
Though I’d lived there all my life, I’d never gotten used to the muggy summer nights. We headed inside, and I prayed the AC was still cranked and going strong. The second I set foot inside the door, I impatiently yanked off my t-shirt, revealing a thin, lace camisole that barely covered the waistband of my shorts.
Jude flashed a half smile as he looked me up and down. “You’re so fucking sexy, Evie.”
The End of Everything - Garner-Willoughby Brothers Duet Book Two Page 8