It didn’t matter so much to him that she’d needed it, because he hadn’t wanted it—not then. He felt too raw after going through those pictures, after what he’d found in Kent’s little perverted hideaway. Too battered, after he’d realized the brutal, ugly knowledge—if only Gail had said something to him, just once, he could have saved Tania from that. If only…
He wasn’t so certain he could do this.
Hell, if she needed him to play her fuck-toy teddy bear, he’d do that, but trying to build some sort of relationship, hoping she’d fall in love with him? He didn’t know if he could set himself up for any more heartache.
Sighing, he stood. He dressed in silence, his heart heavy with what he was going to do.
He needed space, though—needed to come to grips with what he’d done, needed space to decide what he was going to do. He’d give it a few days before he told her, yeah. She was fragile still, and he needed to accept that, help her through it…
He heard a car. Looking out his window, he glimpsed a gray Volvo.
Snarling, he tore down the steps.
Tania heard his feet beating a rhythm on the stairs from the kitchen. Frowning, she glanced up from the bacon and flipped it, then turned the heat down a little before slipping out of the kitchen. She heard the front door open, then close.
Passing by the window, she glimpsed the driveway and saw Gail’s car.
Narrowing her eyes, she stormed to the front of the house. But just before she would have jerked the door open, she paused. Instead, she opened it carefully, slowly, listening through the narrow slit.
“—you’re here. Just leave,” Drake demanded.
“I only need a minute,” Gail said, her voice flat and cool. “I just wanted to tell you, I’m leaving. As in, leaving town.”
“Should I cheer?” he drawled sardonically.
She shot him a sidelong look. “Be quiet, Drake, and let me finish. This isn’t easy. I don’t believe my son ever wanted to hurt her. I won’t believe it. But…I realize perhaps there was something unhealthy there. If I’d said something…”
“Perhaps?” Drake mocked, his voice thick with disbelief. “Hell, lady. What more did you need? A sign saying, Mom, I need help. But because nobody saw it, Tania was all but broken.”
“She’s not broken,” Gail said quietly. “She’s too strong for that.”
Drake was quiet. Then he nodded. “You’re right. She is. But she was hurt—too badly hurt, and I won’t, can’t forgive you.”
“Of course not. You love her. As I love my son.” Gail went to turn away.
Tania opened the door and slid outside.
Gail turned her head. When she looked at Tania, she swallowed, jerking her gaze away.
“You loved your son. Maybe you should have gotten him help,” Tania said levelly.
“Yes. And I’ll live with that the rest of my life. That’s the only reason I’m willing to let this go, and I hope you understand that. If…” She swallowed and looked away. “Drake, you said something about how if I’d mentioned this, he might be alive. And you’re right. It’s an ugly little truth I have to live with, one I’ve known for a long, long time—I don’t believe Kent wanted to hurt Tania, but I do think things got out of hand and maybe if I had said something sooner…” She stopped, shook her head. “I just don’t know.”
Drake growled, “You don’t know—”
“Drake.” Tania reached out, laid a hand on his arm. “Enough.”
“It’s not enough,” he snapped, his head whipping around, his blue eyes hot and bright as he stared at her.
“It is, because it has to be.” Tania shook her head. “I’m not going to let this haunt me all my life and part of moving on involves letting go of it—and her.” She shot Gail a look. “She won’t ever accept the truth anyway.”
Gail stared at her. In the depths of the older woman’s eyes, Tania saw something—knowledge. Gail knew the truth. She just wouldn’t acknowledge that.
Gail blinked and looked away. “I won’t ask your forgiveness, because I honestly can’t say I’d react any differently. But you won’t see me again, won’t hear from me again. Maybe that will help you move on.”
Tania slid her hand into Drake’s. “I was doing just fine with that already. But I’m glad I won’t be getting any more early-morning phone calls in January.”
Gail nodded. “You won’t.”
As she turned and walked away, Tania blew out a breath. “Well. That was pleasant.”
She licked her lips and then glanced up at Drake. “I’ve got breakfast going—it’s going to burn if we stay out here.”
He followed her silently into the kitchen, his blue eyes unreadable, his face a closed mask. She winced when she got a good look at his mouth. His lower lip was a little swollen. She’d done that, she realized. She’d slammed her head back against his. She hadn’t just hurt his heart, she’d left physical marks on him.
“I busted your mouth open,” she said. “I’m sorry.”
Drake shrugged. “No big deal. It isn’t bothering me.” His voice was…off. It sounded too normal. Too polite. The way it sounded when he talked with a total stranger—not at all the way it sounded when he talked to her.
“You’re angry with me,” she said quietly as she turned the bacon.
“No.” He poured himself a cup of coffee.
“You’re angry about something.”
“I’m just having a hard time dealing with the shit from yesterday,” he said. “And that—shit, how can you call it enough?”
“Because no matter what we do, it won’t change anything. And you and I both saw her—she knows what really happened. She just can’t let herself admit it.” She looked back at him.
Drake snorted. “Doesn’t matter if changes anything or not. Just letting it go that easily, after what she did?”
“What she did, what he did—nothing I do or say will undo the past. I just need to focus on my future. I feel like I can do that now.” Because of you… She wanted to tell him that, wanted to tell him that she wanted to try to have that future with him. But he was so distant.
Oh, he looked the same. But there was a distance in his voice, on his face. Even in his eyes. Like he was trying to pull back.
“So you’re just off about all this shit. Not angry, just off. Then I push you to do something you weren’t up to doing,” she said, her voice neutral.
“We already talked this through. You needed it. I gave it to you. End of story.”
Tania smiled, shaking her head. She flipped the bacon out of the pan and reached for the eggs. A nice, cholesterol-heavy, fattening breakfast. “Yes. I did need it—I needed to control something, something that you didn’t necessarily even want—and maybe I even needed it that way. I know that wasn’t fair. But I did need it. Maybe it will help if I tell you that it did help.”
Behind her, he was quiet. He wouldn’t ask, she suspected. So she continued. “It helped me. I woke up this morning feeling like I’d broken through some last link of chain or something. I’m sorry it took hurting you, though.”
“You didn’t—”
“Stop it.” She cracked the eggs into the skillet, watched as they sizzled. “Don’t tell me it didn’t hurt you, that you’re not angry. I know you, Drake, I know how much you keep trapped inside. And I am sorry I hurt you.”
More silence.
She finished the eggs, slid them onto a plate for each of them, added the bacon.
Then she turned to him. He sat there, still wearing that unreadable expression, his blue eyes blank. So much distance between them, so much. She forced a smile. “And you want me to believe you’re not angry,” she murmured, setting the plates down and settling onto a stool.
Drake closed his eyes. His hand came down, covered hers. “I’m not. Tawny, I’m not angry. I just…”
Something about his expression warned her. Even before he said it. Even before he didn’t say it. Because he didn’t say what she knew he wanted to—he didn’t say the
words she could see all but trapped inside him. He gave her a tight, tired smile. “I’m not angry,” he said again. “I’m always here for when you need me. For…hell. Whatever you need. I’ll give it to you.”
Then he pushed back and stood up.
Tears burned her throat. She listened to his quiet footfalls. She should just let him go, she thought—she’d taken too much, she realized. She needed to let him go, maybe do what Gail had done and just leave. Move on. Let him do the same.
But she couldn’t, because she needed him. She loved him.
Curling her hand into a fist, she whispered, “And what if I want your heart, Superman?”
Her voice was so faint, he almost didn’t hear her.
In the doorway of the kitchen, he stopped and paused, looking back. She still sat there, her slender back to him, wearing a shirt of his, one she must have tugged out of his closet when she woke up that morning. Her long hair hung in a tangle down her back, and her shoulders were slumped, her head bowed.
As he stared at her, she lifted her head and turned to look at him.
“Well?”
He swallowed. His voice rusty, he said, “Well, what?” He hadn’t heard what he thought he heard. He knew he hadn’t.
Tania crossed her legs and smoothed his shirt down over them, staring nervously at him. “What if I want your heart? Then what do I do?”
He stared at her.
“You’re pulling away from me. I see it.” She slid off the stool, her hands fisted at her sides. Tears glinted in her eyes as she stared at him. “And I know it is because of last night—I’m sorry if it hurt you that bad, but damn it, after what had happened, I needed something I could control, and fuck it, Drake, but you… I knew you wouldn’t hurt me, I knew you’d let me. You’re the only safe thing in my life. What else could I control but you?”
“Tania—”
“I’m sorry. Maybe I should have tried to cope a different way. I get that. But I still can’t think of anything else. I just…” Tears spilled out of her eyes and she swore, reached up to swipe them away. “I don’t like knowing I hurt you. I don’t like knowing I’ve pushed you away.”
“That’s not what it is, not what this is,” he said, his heart hollow.
“No?” She gave him a tight smile. “I’m not an idiot, Drake. I know when a man’s brushing me aside.” She glanced back at the island, shook her head. “Fuck it. You know, I was going to tell you something this morning. I guess it’s better off that I didn’t.”
She went to brush past him, but he caught her arm.
“Tell me what?”
She pulled away from him. “It doesn’t matter now. You’re pulling away and I’ll be damned if I strip myself bare like that now.” She went to dodge around him.
“I’m not—fuck.” He pinned her in against the wall. “Be still, damn it. You’re right. I am—was pulling away. I’m too lost inside you and I feel like I’m losing myself more every day. And last night…fuck, I couldn’t even say no, even when I wanted to, needed to. I just—shit.”
“I already know that. I get the point. Leave me alone.” She shoved at his chest.
“You don’t get the point.” He wrapped his arms around her waist and she stomped on his foot. “Damn it, you mean little brat, would you stop it?”
“Let me go,” she snarled.
“I…shit. I can’t. Even when I know I should, even when I know you’re going to break my heart, I can’t.” He buried his face in her hair.
She stiffened. “I don’t want to break your heart, you idiot. I was going to tell you that I love you this morning, but you’re trying to find a way to give me the brush-off.” With a delicate sniff, she muttered, “Fine, I’ll make it easy. We’re done.”
But Drake didn’t hear anything past I love you…
Stunned, he lifted his head. He reached up to capture her face between his hands, and she immediately tried to pull away. “Like hell,” he muttered. Pulling her back against him, he fisted a hand in her hair, forced her to look at him. “What did you say?”
Tania jerked against his hand. “Leave me alone. I don’t want to talk to you now.”
“What did you say?” he pleaded. He pressed his brow to hers and when she still wouldn’t talk, he pressed a line of kisses from her temple down to her neck. “Tawny, please…”
She shuddered against him. The hands she had clenched between them opened, then curved over his shoulders, her nails digging into his skin. “Drake…damn it, make up your mind,” she muttered, staring at him.
“It’s never changed—it’s always been centered around you,” he said. “What did you say?”
She sighed. Then, her hands came up, cupping his cheeks. “I love you. I don’t know when it started—if it was after we started this…or before. I just know that you’ve always been there whenever I’ve needed you. And I can’t imagine you not being there. I don’t want to… I wasn’t looking for this, but somehow you went and became my everything, Superman.” Her lips pressed against his. “I need you. I want you. I love you.”
The strength drained out of his legs and he went to his knees, burying his face against her belly. “Tawny…” he whispered, shaken.
Her hands pushed into his hair, absently stroking his scalp.
“You mean it,” he said, his voice rough. Tilting his head back, he stared at her.
“Yeah.” She sank down in front of him, touched his mouth. “I mean it. I was going to tell you that this morning…and I’ve actually been trying to find the right way to tell you for the past few days.”
Closing his eyes, Drake clutched her close, sinking down to sit on the floor.
She cuddled in his lap, her hands stroking his back, her head rested on his shoulder.
“I love you,” he muttered. Lifting his head, he stared down at her. He brushed her hair back from her face and gazed into her eyes. “I love you so damn much.”
Leaning in, Tania pressed her mouth to his. “I love you. With all my heart.”
Hours later, they lay in bed together, wrapped around each other.
Drake stroked his hand up her back and rolled onto his side, studying her face. “I’ve been thinking about something.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I want you to marry me.” He blurted it out fast, before he lost his nerve. “It doesn’t have to be right away or anything, but I want you to think about it and…”
Tania smiled at him. She leaned in and pressed her mouth to his. “Marry you? Hmmm…I kind of like the sound of that. I might. If you ask me real nice. Maybe if you beg me…”
Drake chuckled and rolled her onto her back, going to his knees between her thighs.
“Like this?” he teased as he lowered his face to kiss the mound of her sex.
“Well, I wouldn’t complain…but…you know what? I think I’ll say yes, no matter what…”
“No…I’m going to beg you first.”
About the Author
Shiloh Walker has been writing since she was a kid. She fell in love with vampires with the book Bunnicula and has worked her way up to the more…ah…serious vampire stories. She loves reading and writing anything paranormal, anything fantasy, and nearly every kind of romance. Once upon a time she worked as a nurse, but now she writes full-time and lives with her family in the Midwest.
For more information on her books, please visit her website at http://shilohwalker.com
Blog http://www.shilohwalker.com/website/
Twitter http://twitter.com/shilohwalker
Facebook http://www.facebook.com/shilohwalker
Other titles
Hunters Declan & Tori
Hunters Eli & Sarel
Hunters Byron and Kit
Hunters Jonathan and Lori
Hunter’s Choice
Hunt Me
Deadly Desires
&n
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Bound Temptations: Stories of Temptation and Submission Page 21