“Anything you want, Yorkie,” he said. “The bastards who hurt you deserve to suffer and I’m sorry I can’t make them pay.”
Archer had told her that he would help her to get revenge, but she guessed that deal was in the dirt now. Once Tag was out of his mess with Hexam maybe he would change his tune about payback. Though it would depend what agreement was reached between the men to spare Tag’s life.
The people Hexam employed couldn’t be merciful types. If Tag was taken by those men, the ones who had murdered with impunity and tortured Jamie before taking her life, then he’d probably wish for death.
“I know,” she said, dropping her hands to his legs when his feet extended beneath the covers to touch her shins. “I just want to move on.”
“We will. Soon this is going to be a distant memory and we’ll never have to talk about it again.” Good, she looked forward to that day. “But you didn’t come over here to talk about Sizzle, did you?”
On the ride over, she’d been happy to focus on business, but that wasn’t what had brought her here at this hour of the night. “I came over because I didn’t want to be by myself.”
“Archer?” he asked and her gaze dropped.
She’d never been one to share gossip and her need for privacy intensified when it came to relationships. Until she knew what was going on and why Archer had reacted in the way he did, she wouldn’t write him off or share their secrets.
“We’re having a night off,” she said.
“He can’t be an easy guy to bond with,” Tag said. “He’s kinda renowned for not letting people get to know him. Archer can get you anything you need, he has a wide network but doesn’t show up at birthday parties, you know?”
So he didn’t have much of a social life beyond what he had to have for his work. Hanging out with him had taught her that. He’d taken her to dinner, but didn’t talk about going to bars and clubs. Nya didn’t care about going to those places because she worked in one and was glad of the break when she was off-shift. The last thing she wanted to endure was more pounding music and humid, pungent air.
Sticking at home meant proximity to a bedroom too, and while they were still in a fervent stage of their relationship that was a necessity. “He’s more than just some mindless brute,” she said.
“Maybe that’s why I don’t trust him,” Tag said. “He’s smarter than he lets anyone think he is.”
Smart enough to make a living by getting others to reveal their close-held secrets. “He is.”
Dropping his arms, he leaned down toward her. “If you guys had a fight, you can tell me.”
“No,” she said. “We didn’t.”
“Showing up here at this time in the morning when you have a boyfriend’s place to go to? Last time you did that…”
“No,” she said, trying to kill that thought before he finished having it. “He’s nothing like Damien.”
“No, Damien had a job,” he said.
Typical that probably the most respectable man she’d ever dated was also the most vicious. “For all the difference that made,” she said and made herself smile. “Can’t I just want a night off?”
If this had been a typical day, she’d have just finished her shift at Sizzle about an hour ago. So if she’d been heading over here to visit then she would be arriving at this time. But this wasn’t a typical day, and she wasn’t back at work full-time yet. Tag told her to go and spend an hour there. Nya hadn’t managed ten full minutes.
“Sure you can, and you’re always welcome,” Tag said.
“I’m going to get a drink, do you want one?”
“No, I have to get some sleep, come and join me when you’re ready.”
She got off the bed and went over to kiss his cheek before he turned off the TV. Climbing into Tag’s bed would be easy, but she wouldn’t sleep, and she’d only feel worse about the Archer situation if she lay in the dark, staring at the ceiling, trying not to wake up Tag.
So when she left the bedroom, she knew she wouldn’t be going back in, not unless she was really overcome with a desire to sleep. Somehow, she didn’t see that happening.
nineteen
The new day came and she was right, she’d gotten less than an hour of rest and even that had been when she accidently nodded off while Tag was in the shower. He didn’t ask questions because she told him not to. Ever patient, he just accepted her into his home, comforted and cared for her, without any expectation.
Going to Archer’s when their relationship was so new, while she was so distraught, had been a mistake. She hadn’t thought it through, she’d just reacted. Right up until he pulled her away from his body, it felt like the right thing to do. It only took him a few seconds to kick her out. It happened so fast that she had no time to comprehend what was going on before it was over.
Standing in Tag’s bedroom on this new day, she was looking out the window at the street below thinking about what future she had with Archer, if she could have one at all. Rushing into a sexual relationship had been dumb when he was her only hope for retribution against Jamie’s murderers. Without him, she wouldn’t be able to go after them, she’d need his help to locate them and take them down.
Except hope of that was lost now if she’d lost the relationship. Because how could she go and ask him to honor the original deal when she’d made such an idiot of herself? She had devoted time and energy to proving to him that she was strong and could keep her shit together even in the most horrific of circumstances and she’d just undone all of her good work in the space of a few minutes.
Going back to Sizzle to work was her only option, she needed a job, and Tag relied on her to run the place. Nya didn’t have the luxury of picking and choosing how she made money, she had to keep the opportunity she had because if it wasn’t this, it was stripping, that was her only other option. Except given her experience last night, she wasn’t sure she was ready to do something so sexual in public.
A couple of hours ago, someone had come into Tag’s bedroom, where she’d spent most of the day, to offer her lunch. She’d refused because food would sit like lead in her guts.
There were two bedrooms in this apartment. Tag and Gio were the only two who stayed here full-time. Tag paid a guy to stay around and act as security. Either that guy stayed up all night in the living room or slept on the couch. Though she’d noticed there was a cot set up in the hall closet that was only just large enough for it and nothing more, so maybe someone slept in there sometimes too.
Tag had another apartment on this floor, which served as a sort of barracks. At least four of his men stayed in there at all times. She’d gotten this information while making small talk with the security guy who was on duty last night. The guy had been on alert because her showing up had freaked everyone out. On reflection, it might not have been a good idea to show up so late to a place waiting to be ambushed.
The security guy was forthcoming though, Viti was his name. He explained that the second apartment was also a decoy, meant to throw Hexam off the scent. Tag couldn’t be renting the places under his own name because that would be too obvious for a man trying to conceal his location, but if somehow he was traced to this block, whoever came after him would have to split their resources to raid both apartments if they didn’t want to take the risk of losing Tag again. Smart. Archer wasn’t the only wise one.
Watching the clouds go over the sun, shadow curved around her. Tag was smart and maybe he’d been right not to trust Archer. Maybe she should’ve listened to her friend.
The bedroom door opened and she turned, expecting to see Tag. Instead, Gio was the one in the doorway. “He fucking showed up here,” Gio said. “Do you see why I get pissed off? This guy knows where we are, you guys have one blow out and he could send a whole army after us, we’re not safe here.”
“Wait,” she said, about-facing and dropping her folded arms. “He came here, you… you mean Archer?”
“Who else?” Gio asked like he was eager to fight with her, and he was buildin
g up steam to say more.
But she strode straight past him to head for the living room because she wanted to know why Archer was here and wanted to make sure that he and Tag didn’t have a chance to go for each other.
The tension was palpable when she burst into the living room. Archer and Tag were standing about ten feet away from each other. Viti and another couple of guys were on their feet near the couches. Everyone was fixated on Archer, primed and ready to move against him.
Her job here was to defuse the situation, but she wasn’t going to jump to any conclusions, or Archer’s rescue. Assumptions she’d made recently had complicated the situation, so she wanted more information first.
“What are you doing here?” she asked, moving a few steps closer to Archer. “Are you alone?”
“Yes, I’m fucking alone,” Archer said. “If you don’t tell these guys to back off, I’ll end them.”
Tag was the closest one to him, security stayed on the periphery. But Archer had to feel threatened enough that he was watching them all at the same time. He claimed he’d defend himself, but if he made the first move, he’d be playing offense and she’d seen what he could do with a blade. And this time, he wouldn’t miss.
“Do you have information?” she asked, wondering if he could possibly be thinking about holding up his end of the bargain about Hexam.
“Tons of it, but that’s not why I’m here and you know it. We need to find us some space.”
So he’d come here to talk to her. Less than twenty-four hours after kicking her out of his apartment, he was coming to her, but was he doing it to patch things up and apologize or did he just want to draw the final line to make sure she knew he had no intention of helping her get justice for Jamie?
“Ok,” she said. “Come with me.”
Lifting her cuffed arm toward him, she wasn’t surprised when he came over and hooked his finger through the metal loop. But she didn’t have the chance to turn around before Tag spoke.
“No,” Tag said and she tensed.
If he tried to put his foot down, Archer would retaliate, and that would end in a brawl. “No?” Archer asked and she didn’t like the slow awareness that joined the lowering of his chin.
“Take this room,” Tag said, glancing around at all of his guys, which had to include Gio who must’ve come in at her back. “We’ll leave you alone.”
Tag kept his eyes fixed on hers while everyone else shuffled out of the room. Moving in at the rear, her friend watched her until the last second forced him to tear his gaze away, then he left the room.
What did Archer want? She didn’t know and she didn’t want to look at him for fear of what she’d see, so she let her chin fall to her chest. But he had other ideas because with a single deft tug, he pulled her off balance and her body collided with his.
“I fucked up,” he said.
Stating the obvious was a good start, but it didn’t clarify what brought him here. “Yes, you did,” she said. “How can I trust you after the way you—”
“Three things happened to me when you walked through my door last night,” he said. “The first thing that hit me was rage; I wanted to hurt whatever hurt you. I’d never felt overpowering, uncontrollable anger like that, never. Never in my life, Squirm. You don’t understand… it might seem like I’m an evil sonofabitch sometimes, but I’m always together. In my head, I have a plan, I know what I’m doing and I keep it together. All that went to shit last night.”
She couldn’t deny that was true, he’d always been calm and collected, it was one of the first things she noticed about him when he walked into the breakroom in Sizzle, so casual, with swagger, like he was picking a movie instead of witnessing a murder.
“What do you want me to say?” He’d been that angry, but he hadn’t taken it out on her, not with violence. Maybe that’s why he’d kicked her out, maybe he didn’t trust himself not to hurt her. “Is that why you threw me out?” she asked. “Because you thought you might beat the shit out of me?”
“No,” he said, sure of the fact. Stroking her shoulders, he imparted some of his composure to her. He scooped her chin with one hand and let the other drop so he could snag her cuff again, this time to force her hand onto his hip. “Second thing, it hit me that the only reason I could have such a strong reaction to seeing you that upset was if I was crazy for you. Crazy for you in a serious, long-term kinda way.”
And that freaked him out? He’d told her once he was only interested in women who would stick around, meaning he had to be a serious relationship kind of guy. “What’s wrong with that?” she asked. “You thought this was temporary? You were using me?”
“No way,” he said. “Something I’ve never told you, something I’m ashamed of.” His volume dropped so much that she had to strain to hear him even though their bodies were flush. “My mom is… she’s a mess. She’s with a different guy every week, you know what I mean?”
He commented on her never keeping a man, told Nya that he bunked in with his mom to stop other men from climbing into her bed. It was no leap to find out she was promiscuous. He’d talked about supporting his mother too, so mother and son had to be in each other’s lives.
At one point, Nya had thought he’d been hurt by a girlfriend because of his strong reaction to whores and comments about bitches being all the same. Now she had to conclude that it wasn’t a love interest that had broken his heart, it was his mother who’d done it, probably at a very young age.
That might explain why he was only interested in women who stuck around instead of claiming one who’d sleep around. Happy as she was that he was revealing more of himself, she didn’t understand why he was doing it now.
“What has that got to do with last night?” she asked. “What has that got to do with you tossing me out on my ass? Are you telling me you’re like her? That you had another woman in your bed?”
“Fuck no!” he exclaimed, offense almost made him recoil. “I’m telling you because she shows up in a state sometimes. She gets her heart broken, she gets high, and drunk, and shows up telling me to go after the guy who dumped her. Tells me to hurt him. Tells me how devastated she is and she cries and drinks and curses all guys. She forgets that last week she was dumping some poor schmuck who was promising her the world. Usually she ditches the ones who she might actually have a future with ‘cause they’ll put up with her shit.
“She screws around on them, takes them for all she can then dumps them when she gets bored. I get so pissed off, but I’d never hurt her. So I let her cry like a fucking idiot. She gets herself worked up. Ninety percent of the time I can just ignore her. Every time she shows up it’s the same routine and I fucking hate it. She’s been the same since I was a kid.”
So her showing up had brought back memories and maybe for a minute he wondered if he’d fallen for a woman who was just like his mother. He was pissed that someone had hurt her, realized that he cared far more than he’d admitted, and then got angry with himself for falling for a woman who’d use him like his mother did. One, two, three.
“You didn’t even listen to me and you kicked me out. You hurt me, Arch, embarrassed me.”
“I know. I fucked up. I know I did. You’ve got no idea how pissed I was at myself the minute you left. I didn’t know what to do, I figured you’d be cursing me out.”
“I would’ve been if I wasn’t in shock. I got upset and came to you on autopilot. I shouldn’t have. I know, we haven’t been together long and you’re not warm and fuzzy. I felt safe with you, Archer. I think that’s why I came to you, because the memories from Sizzle were what upset me and I recognize now that you pulled me out and protected me from… Jamie’s attackers. I came to you because I care about you. I guess I wanted to share my vulnerability with you. I felt comfortable enough to do that, not with anyone else but with you and you’ve shot that all to shit now.”
“You’ve got no idea how pissed off I am that you ended up here,” he said. “Not at you, at me. I shouldn’t have let this happen.” His
jaw clenched and his grip on her face got tighter. “I drove you into another guy’s bed and you can’t know how that tears me the fuck apart. I’m so fucking pissed at myself for forcing you to—”
“I didn’t sleep with him,” she said. Although at the time it had been less to do with loyalty to Archer and more to do with her restlessness. But what she was saying was the truth. “I went home after I left yours, but I was already upset. I felt alone. You weren’t an option, you’d made that clear, so I came here.”
“Did you tell him?” Archer asked. “Did you tell him what happened?”
“No,” she said. “I couldn’t talk about Sizzle because if I did then he’d tell me never to go back and that’s where I work, I run that place and I won’t let those guys beat me. I’ll figure it out. I hadn’t prepared myself and the club was busy—it doesn’t matter, I’ll figure it out.”
“I’ll be there,” he said. “If you don’t want to go back, we’ll figure it out. You don’t have to rely on Tag.”
The truth caused an ache in her chest. “I can’t rely on you,” she said.
Witnessing his agitation made her want to soothe, but she had to be honest. Archer had come to apologize and she would accept that offering. She could understand his reaction to seeing her so distraught. This was a new relationship, they were still figuring things out and they’d been through a lot together. Last night was just another step in them finding their way.
But if she ever got that upset again, she would question whether Archer could handle seeing it and that meant that damage had been done, there was a fracture in their relationship that could either heal in a scar to make them tougher, or widen into a chasm they’d never be able to cross.
“We rushed into this,” she said. “We’ve been moving so fast. Maybe we should take a step back. Maybe you were right to toss me out. We should take a breather and—”
“I don’t want to take a breather,” he said. “You’re coming home with me.”
Given how their association started, she was wary of what could be a threat. The pain of his guilt about what had taken place between them last night morphed into a determination that made her shiver. But she had to tell the truth.
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