by Hannah Ellis
“She can’t just move schools with no notice. Besides, it’s not long until the summer holidays. It doesn’t make any sense to move her now. And Mum’s not going to agree to her moving schools so close to the end of term. She’s paying a fortune to send her to that place.”
“It’s not up to Ruth. You’re her guardian. It’s your decision.”
“Then we’ll go in and talk to the teachers. See what we can do to make things better.” He picked up his beer. Anger boiled inside me. How could he be so flippant?
“That’s not good enough,” I told him firmly. “Those girls are horrible to Hailey. They call her ugly and an orphan. And it wasn’t just today; it’s every day. I don’t know whether you want to classify it as teasing or bullying, but Hailey’s had enough to deal with. Don’t make her suffer any more.”
“I’ll go in with her tomorrow. I’ll talk to the teachers and find out what’s really going on.” He reached for the remote again. “I’m not just taking her out of school.”
Maybe I was over-reacting but I couldn’t let it drop. Hailey needed me on her side and I was determined to fight for her. “I spoke to Angela and she says they’d accept her in the local school immediately. She said we could take her to Dr Griffin and get her a sick note for this week.”
“You spoke to Angela before you spoke to me?” he asked, his voice tinged with anger.
“I just wanted her advice. I only asked if we’d be able to get her into the local school. She’s the school nurse; she knows about this stuff.”
“You’re jumping way ahead of yourself.” He rubbed his eyes wearily. “You can’t just decide she needs to change schools. We need to get to the bottom of things properly.”
“But I hate seeing her so miserable. She’ll do better at the local school.”
He leaned back into the couch. “What’s really going on?”
“What do you mean?”
“I think Hailey’s given you a sob story because she knows you’ll do anything to get her to like you…”
“Are you serious?” I shot at him. He took my hand.
“I know she gives you a hard time, and I know it’s difficult for you to deal with.”
I pulled my hand from his. “It’s not about me. I can’t believe you’d say that.”
“I told you, I’ll talk to Hailey tomorrow. It would be nice to come home and be able to relax.”
I clenched my teeth. “I’m sorry,” I said, my voice full of sarcasm. “I’ll leave you to relax. How rude of me to bother you with concerns about the kids in the evening.”
“Lucy,” he called weakly as I walked out of the living room. He didn’t bother to follow me, so I tidied up the kitchen, holding my breath when I put the pungent fish pie in the fridge. I’d deal with it with later. I made a cup of tea and sat at the kitchen table to drink it.
“I’m sorry,” Adam said when he finally joined me. “I’ll talk to Hailey. If she really wants to change schools, we’ll make the arrangements for September. I’m going to go to bed.”
I turned away when he tried to kiss me.
“Surely you didn’t think I’d agree to let her change schools next week?” he said.
I got up and put my cup in the sink. “Goodnight,” I said, forcing myself to kiss him. Anything to get him out of my sight.
“Are you coming to bed?”
“I’m going to watch TV for a bit,” I told him. “I won’t be long.”
I waited twenty minutes – certain he’d be asleep by then – then opened the front door and went out into the brilliantly clear night. I felt better as soon as I’d left the house.
Not feeling like going to Tom’s grave, I made for the pub.
“Are you still open?” I asked Mike. I’d peered in the window and seen the place was empty. He was busy cleaning up.
“Not really, but come in anyway.”
“Sorry, I thought I might be in time for a quick drink. I don’t want to be in the way…”
“Help me clean up and I’ll have a drink with you.” He threw me a damp cloth and told me to wipe down the tables. I worked my way methodically around the room, wiping tables and straightening chairs like I’d seen Mike do. I was rewarded with a glass of wine, and sat at the bar to drink it.
“Everything okay?” Mike asked, sitting beside me with a pint.
“Yeah.”
“It’s okay to say no.”
“No, then!” I said. “Everything isn’t okay.” I took a long sip of wine. “Life feels like a constant battle at the moment.”
“That’s understandable. It’s a crap situation you found yourself in.”
“I think Hailey should change schools, but Adam thinks she’s fine where she is.”
“I never understood why she didn’t go to the local school in the first place,” Mike said.
“Because Ruth thought she’d be better off in a private school.”
Mike nodded and didn’t comment further.
“Ruth will go mad when she hears I want her to change schools. She’s always there, always around the house making comments and looking at me like I’m useless.”
“I’m sure she doesn’t mean it.”
“I know she doesn’t mean it,” I said curtly. “And she’s been through so much. It’s been so hard for her. I know all that, but she’s still driving me crazy!”
“Hang in there – things will get better.”
I wished he was right. When the girls came to live with us, I told myself it would take a year. We would have an awful year, that was inevitable, but then things would gradually settle down and get better. It had been eighteen months – and I was still waiting for things to get better.
“What’s been happening round here?” I asked in a bid to change the subject.
“Are you asking me to break my bartenders’ code of confidentiality?”
I laughed. “Is there such a thing?”
“No, not really,” he said. “Let’s see … I had to escort George home at the weekend after he came in for a quick birthday drink. I got an earful from Liz when I brought him home. Apparently it was my fault he drank too much.” He raised his eyebrows and I laughed.
“What else?” I asked, taking another sip of wine. He launched into a rundown of the village gossip. It was nice to sit and laugh, and I actually felt myself relax, which was rare. I left feeling happier about the world, having momentarily forgotten my problems at home.
Chapter 22
That night, I didn’t get nearly enough sleep and the sound of my alarm made me want to cry. Adam groaned beside me and I silenced the alarm, sitting up. It was the usual routine: I’d get showered while Adam snoozed on, then I’d go down and get started on breakfast and lunches.
Hailey was already sitting at the kitchen table in a pair of jeans and a T-shirt.
“Did you talk to Uncle Adam?” she asked, looking fragile. I wanted to settle her on the couch, tucked safely under a blanket with a cup of hot chocolate and her favourite TV shows.
“Yeah. We’re going to see what we can do,” I replied vaguely. She looked at me, her eyes huge, begging me to help her. I was going to let her down again and she would never forgive me.
“I don’t have to go back there, do I?”
“You’ll have to go this week and then we’ll try and sort something out for next week.” I hated myself. I was buying time and she knew it.
“Please don’t make me go.” A tear ran down her cheek and my heart broke for her. Then Emily wandered in, looking half asleep. Automatically, she sat at the table and I put a bowl of cereal in front of her. My mind raced, trying to figure out how to help Hailey.
“Morning.” Ruth came in, the tone of her voice telling me she was still angry with me. She looked at me for too long, no doubt expecting an apology. I was silent.
“Why haven’t you got your uniform on, Hailey?” she asked finally.
“She wasn’t feeling well,” I answered. Ruth moved and put a hand across Hailey’s forehead.
“
You seem fine,” she declared. “Go and put your uniform on. You don’t want to be late.”
Hailey looked at me and then moved dutifully out of the kitchen.
“She hates that school, you know?” I sat next to Emily and tried to act casually.
“Some kids just don’t like school,” Ruth replied. “She’ll get over it.”
“She’s getting bullied.”
“Don’t be silly,” Ruth said, a look of impatience flashing over her face. “It’s a great school.”
“She should be at the local school. Maybe then she’d have some friends and be happier.”
“Will you just stop!” She turned and glared at me. “It seems that all you want to do at the moment is stir up trouble.”
“I want Hailey to be happy,” I told her firmly.
Adam came in. “I’ll talk to Hailey about school.”
“There’s nothing to talk about,” Ruth said. “She’s in the best school in the area and she’s staying where she is.”
“Even if she’s miserable and the kids are calling her an orphan and telling her to go back to France?”
“What’s an orphan?” Emily asked. There was silence.
Hailey appeared in the doorway, wearing her uniform, tears running down her cheeks. “I don’t want to go to school.”
“You can’t just not go to school because you don’t like it.” Ruth’s voice was condescending, and it grated on me.
“They’re really mean to me,” Hailey cried.
Adam moved over to her and wiped the tears from her cheeks. “I’ll come in with you today and talk to your teachers.”
“Lucy?” she said quietly, desperation in her voice.
“I don’t think she should go today,” I said.
Ruth clicked her tongue, huffing. “Of course she has to go to school.”
“No, she doesn’t. She can stay home today and we can decide what to do next.”
“She’s going to school,” Ruth told me firmly. “And it’s not really anything to do with you.”
“Excuse me?”
“These aren’t your decisions to make.”
I took a deep breath, telling myself to focus on Hailey and not let Ruth get to me. I could rise above her. I moved to stand beside Hailey, putting a hand protectively on her arm.
“I could take her to the doctor and get her a note,” I said to Adam. “Just let her stay at home until we sort things out.”
Ruth jumped in, her tone suddenly fierce. “You’re not taking her anywhere. Adam and I can deal with this. It’s a family matter.”
“Mum!” Adam snapped. I stood frozen to the spot, unable to believe what I’d heard. “Hailey, get in the car,” Adam said. “Everyone else, calm down.”
“Adam.” I followed him out to the car and watched Hailey climb into the back. “Don’t make her go today.”
“Back off,” he fired at me, his anger taking me by surprise.
“So you think this is none of my business too?”
“I didn’t say that.” His face softened and he leaned against the car. “Of course it’s your business. Mum was out of line. I don’t know what to do about Hailey, but everyone shouting at each other won’t help.”
“Please don’t make her go back there,” I said, taking his hand. “I feel like I never really know what I’m doing with the girls. But today I know what to do and you’re not listening to me. She needs to change schools. Immediately.”
“I told you I’d talk to her,” he said gently. “I’ll talk to her teachers.”
“That’s not enough,” I snapped. “She’s been through so much – don’t make her go back there.”
“I’m doing the best I can!” he said, his voice full of frustration.
“Fine!” I said, realising I was losing the battle. “Talk to the teachers. But I’m coming with you. I need to be involved. I want to be there for Hailey.”
“Okay,” he agreed. “But you need to stay calm.”
“I will. I’ll follow you,” I told him. “I’ll meet you there.”
Hurriedly, I finished getting ready and kissed Emily goodbye, avoiding looking at Ruth. In the car I called work to say I’d be late.
When I arrived at the school, Adam was pacing the pavement. He opened my passenger door when I pulled up behind his car. “Is Hailey okay?” I asked. He climbed in the car beside me and put his head in his hands. I rested my hand on his back.
“Can you take her home?” he asked.
“What happened?”
“I didn’t realise how bad it was.” He looked at me, his eyes sad. “She’s hysterical. She won’t get out of the car. You were right; she can’t go back there. We’ll get her into Havendon School.”
I nodded through my tears. “I feel like we’ve let her down. We should have seen this earlier.”
He drew me to him and I relaxed a little in his arms.
“We can still fix it,” he told me. “She’ll be okay. Take my car home. I don’t think she’ll get out. I’ll go in and talk to the staff.”
I nodded and we got out of the car, exchanging keys. He kissed my cheek and walked towards the school.
“Are you okay?” I asked Hailey when I got into the driver’s seat. She was deathly pale and her eyes were red and puffy. “I’ll take you home,” I told her when she didn’t reply. We drove in silence. She moved slowly from the car to the house without a word. I sat her on the couch and put the TV on before I went into the kitchen to make her a chocolate milkshake – her favourite.
“Thanks,” she said when I put it on the table in front of her.
“Everything will be okay, you know.” I sat down beside her and she leaned against me. I pulled her to me and held her tightly while she cried.
When Adam arrived home, we slipped outside to chat to avoid being overheard. I’d forgotten all about work until Adam asked if they were okay about me not coming in.
“Oh!” My hand shot to my mouth. “I completely forgot to call them again. I rang them to say I’d be late.”
Adam glanced at his watch. “Why don’t you head in now? I’ll be okay with Hailey. I spoke to Dr Griffin. She’ll see her this afternoon. I’ll have to ring Havendon Juniors and see when we can get her in.”
“I feel like I should be here,” I told him. “But I’m not sure how understanding Mrs Stoke will be if I miss work again.”
“We don’t both need to be here.”
“What about the rest of the week?” I asked.
“I guess we can’t leave her with my mum,” he said, running a hand through his sandy hair. “I’ll have to go down and talk to her later.”
“I think one of us should be here with Hailey this week.”
“The studio wasn’t impressed about me not making it in today,” he said. “I can probably wrangle tomorrow, but I’m not sure I can push it beyond that. I don’t want to risk losing contracts with the studio. They’ve been good about everything with the kids but I daren’t take too much time off.”
“I wish you’d give up the studio work,” I said without thinking. “It would be so much easier if you worked locally.”
His eyebrows shot up. “You really want to discuss that now?”
“No.” I sighed. “I’ll shut up.”
“We need the money,” he reminded me.
“I know,” I said, taking a seat on a weathered-looking patio chair. “You take tomorrow off and I’ll see what I can do about the end of the week.”
“Thank you.”
“We really messed up,” I said, dropping my head into my hands. “We should have listened to her before.”
“She’ll be okay,” he said, squeezing my hand.
I pulled away from him and looked up, surprised he could be so blasé. “We messed up. And I’d like her to be more than okay. I want her to be happy. I want us all to be happy – but we’re going wrong somewhere.”
He frowned at me. “It’s a difficult time. But we’re doing the best we can, aren’t we? There’s no point torturing your
self.”
“I’m not torturing myself, but I don’t think this is a happy home for anyone and we need to do something about that.” Tears stung my eyes but I could still see the confusion on Adam’s face. He genuinely thought everything was all right. Was it me who was just expecting too much? “Sometimes I hate being in the house,” I told him honestly. “It feels like the walls are going to close in on me.”
He smiled then and I wanted to hit him. “I think most parents feel like that a lot of the time.”
“It’s more than that,” I said, tears falling down my face. “I’m exhausted. I feel like whatever I do is wrong. I’m trying really hard and then your mum goes and says things like she did today to make me feel like I’m not even a proper part of the family.”
“She didn’t mean it,” he said dismissively. “She was just upset.”
“Fine,” I said, realising he was never going to see it from my point of view. I was too tired to argue. “It doesn’t matter.”
“You’re as much a part of this family as anyone,” he said. “And you definitely have a say in the kids’ lives.” He looked serious. “You know I’d be lost without you, don’t you? I love you.”
“I know,” I said, feeling defeated. “I’d better check on Hailey and go to work.”
Chapter 23
Adam said Serena Griffin was brilliant with Hailey. I’d met her a few times before and she was always a calming presence. She agreed that Hailey should have the week off school and advised Adam to inform Hailey’s counsellor about the bullying. When he expressed concerns about Hailey’s counselling, Dr Griffin suggested finding someone new. Perhaps Hailey just didn’t click with Mrs Miller, she said, and she would make more progress with a different counsellor.
Adam met the head teacher at Havendon Junior School, who was both accommodating and supportive, agreeing that Hailey could start the following week.
It was a week of paperwork and phone calls, but we got through it. Hailey was quiet and withdrawn, but seemed to relax when she realised she was finally going to change school.
When I’d walked into work late on Tuesday morning, I’d made my way straight to Jean Stoke’s office. I apologised for being late and had intended to ask for the rest of the week off. However, her manner was unfriendly: she gave me a lecture about my commitment to the job, hinting that unless things changed I wouldn’t have a job there the following school year.