by L A Cotton
“He touched you,” I whispered, guilt coiled tight round my heart.
Laurie laughed, but it wasn’t the sound I usually loved. No, this was something darker, uglier, and it hurt. Fuck, did it hurt. “If you hadn’t pushed me away, again, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation.” Her eyes narrowed, cutting right into me.
I moved closer because the distance was too much. Even though her walls were up and reinforced with steel, I still wanted to be near to her. “Laurie, I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“The truth, Kyle. I want the truth. Is that too much to ask? I chose you. I chose USC for you.” Her voice cracked, and tears pooled in her eyes. I wanted to reach out and comfort her, to pull her into my arms and tell her everything was going to be okay. But I wasn’t sure it was, anymore.
“And we can still have all that. I just need you to trust me.” I stared at her, silently pleading for her to let this go. But it was too late. Deep down, I think I’d known that the second she opened the door. So although it hurt more than getting sacked by a two-hundred-and-eight-pound linebacker, it didn’t surprise me when Laurie said, “I think we should take a break.”
“You don’t want to be with me anymore?” His face paled.
“That’s not fair, Kyle, and you know it. I love you. I love you so much it scares me sometimes. But you can’t keep lying to me. I’m worth more, I deserve more.”
“I’m doing it for your own good.” The second the words were out of my mouth, I wanted to take them back. Laurie’s eyes widened, and she blinked as if she couldn’t believe I’d said it. “Laurie... I didn’t—”
“You should go.”
“I leave for camp in two days. I’ll be gone for five days.” A whole week without knowing where we stood.
I felt sick.
“I think some space will be a good thing.” The tightness around her eyes betrayed how calmly she said the words.
“And when I get back?” I ran a brisk hand over my hair. Really, I wanted to rip every strand out. Anything to settle my soul.
“I’m not making any promises, Ky—” I rushed her, wrapping my arms around her and burying my face in Laurie’s shoulder.
“Promise me, we’ll talk when I get back. Promise me this isn’t the end. Promise me, you have to promise me,” I said over and over, the words almost choking me. Laurie stood rigid and still in my arms and I realized I was probably crushing her, but I couldn’t let go. It felt too much like goodbye and I wasn’t ready.
We were supposed to be forever.
“Go to football camp, show their coaches how amazing you are, and when you come back, we’ll talk. But I won’t be that girl, Kyle. I won’t stand by while my boyfriend keeps things from me.” Her words slayed me but then she was touching me, running her fingers through the hair at the back of my neck and I held on for life.
I’ll fix this, I silently promised her.
I had to find a way to fix it.
Chapter 14
LAURIE
“I spoke to Kyle this morning.” Lo said from her towel beside me. “He arrived at USC safely.”
“Good, that’s good.” I stared up at the sky tracing patterns in the cotton-candy clouds.
“He told me to tell you—”
“Don’t,” I said feeling my heart sink. “I’m glad he got there but I don’t want a running commentary, Lo. I want space.”
“Okay.” She sighed softly, and silence settled between us, until she said, “I still can’t believe you ended things with him.”
I groaned, rolling onto my stomach and leaning up on my elbows. “I didn’t end things. I told him I wanted space. And I do. He’s lying to me, Lo. He’s been lying for weeks. Tell me you wouldn’t do the same if Maverick was lying.”
“I...” she pressed her lips together and frowned. “You guys are so good together, though. It hurts my heart to think of you both unhappy. Are you sure it isn’t a big misunderstanding?”
“I chose Kyle, Lo. I told him I’d apply for USC. So I’m not the one in the wrong here.” I gave her a pointed look.
“You’re right. You’re so right, and I’m sorry. I just ... I don’t know how to help.”
“You don’t have to help. This is Kyle’s mess to fix. I told him we’d talk when he gets back, and we will. But only if he’s ready to be honest with me.”
“And if he tells you the truth and you don’t like what he has to say?”
“I’d rather know the truth and have a choice than be kept in the dark.”
“I asked Maverick if he knew what was going on; he doesn’t,” she said. “Kyle wouldn’t tell him. Who do you think she is?”
I shrugged, dropping my gaze as I picked at a loose thread in my towel.
“It’s so weird. I mean, it’s Kyle. Kyle, Laurie. He isn’t like this.”
It didn’t matter. Unless Kyle could look me in the eye and tell me the truth, I was done. Even thinking it hurt; left me breathless and raw. But secrets were like a slow-acting poison. At first, you couldn’t feel it. You believed everything was fine. And then, over time, the signs started to show. The dull ache. An irritating rash. And you began to wonder if something was wrong, simmering under the surface, festering, waiting to strike. And when it did, the effect was lethal.
So even if I could overlook Kyle’s secrets. Even if the girl from The Shack never came around again and we managed to move past everything, it would still be there. Hovering in the wings. Brewing. Circling. Waiting to raise its ugly head once more.
And in the end, the not knowing—the constant wondering—would ruin us.
I didn’t want to live like that. Not when, in a year, we would be moving to college where everything was new, scary, and different. It was going to be hard enough watching Kyle immerse himself in college football while I stood on the sidelines still figuring out my future.
“You know no matter what happens, we’ll always be friends, right?” Lo blurted out, and I gave her a weak smile.
“I know.” My reply lacked conviction. It wasn’t that I didn’t believe her, but I knew how life worked. With Maverick away, Lo and Kyle would become even closer. And if Kyle and I... well, I didn’t want to go there yet. I wanted to believe Kyle would go to football camp, get knocked on his ass by some hulk-of-a-guy and have an earth shattering epiphany about what an ass he was being.
“Hey.” Maverick blocked the sun, looming down at us. “Are you two going to lie here all day?”
We looked at one another and said, “Yep.”
He shrugged and dropped down beside Lo, stretching his legs out in front of him. “I just got a text from Ky—”
“La la la la.” I plugged my fingers in my ears and Maverick gave Lo a ‘what-the-hell’ look.
“This is a Kyle-free zone,” she explained, but his brows only knitted together more.
“Huh?”
“Forget it,” I said clambering up onto my knees. “I’m going to go get ice-cream from The Shack. You guys want anything?”
“I’m good,” Maverick said and Lo shook her head.
“I’ll be back.” I pulled on my shorts and grabbed my purse. As I walked away from them I heard Lo murmur, “If she’s eating ice-cream, it’s worse than I thought.” And all I could think was, ‘if only she knew’.
“LAURIE?” I CLOSED MY eyes and turned slowly, meeting Autumn’s sympathetic gaze. “How are you?” she said.
“I’m okay.”
“I heard—”
“Of course you did.” News travelled quicker than Concord, in Wicked Bay.
“So are you guys like...”
“On a break? Yeah. We’re sorting through some things.”
“I’ve missed you.” She smiled, and I glanced around half-expecting to see Liam lingering nearby. “He’s surfing with Devon and Jared.”
“Oh.” Why was this so awkward? Autumn was a good friend. But so much had changed over the last few months.
“We should hang out this week? Have a girl’s night at your house or mine? Lo can come
too. It’ll be fun, just like old times.”
“Maybe.” I tried to seem more enthusiastic, but I was tired. Of pretending. Of keeping up pretenses.
Disappointment clouded her eyes. “Well, call me if you want to arrange something.”
“Okay.”
She waved and left, and I ordered. A triple scoop with extra toppings just for good measure. A couple of girls noticed me, whispering to one another. Not making any effort to be discreet.
School was out, but it didn’t matter. Everyone already knew. Although the rumors would be a far cry from the truth, I could imagine them now.
Kyle dumped her.
He didn’t want to be tied down for senior year.
He asked her to apply to USC, and she said no.
Jared Teller tried to kiss her, and Kyle found out.
People twisted the truth to their ends, and it was one of the things I hated about our close-knit town. Everyone who was anyone had an opinion on everything. Mom and her friends were just as bad, gossiping over margaritas at The Coastal, or mani-pedis at L'Apaiser. And I’d known being with someone as popular as Kyle Stone would thrust me into the limelight and paint a target on my back for scrutiny and jealousy.
But I never expected this.
My cell phone burned a hole in my pocket. I wanted to call him, to hear his voice and soak up the sound. But we needed this time apart. We both needed to figure out what we wanted and what we were willing to sacrifice to make it happen.
Nothing in life worth having came without a price. I knew that. And I wanted to fight for Kyle—for us.
But Kyle had to fight too.
And right now, it felt a lot like losing.
“HEY.” JARED CAME AND sat next to me as I watched the world go by. Kids swimming. Families enjoying a picnic on the beach. Tiny dots in the distance surfing the waves.
“Hey,” I said not bothering to look up.
“How ar—”
“If you ask me how I am, I will scream.”
“Got it.” I heard the faint sound of him rubbing his rugged jaw. “The weather’s great.”
I smiled. Barely. But it was a smile nonetheless.
“If it’s any consolation, Stone is a fool for letting you go.”
“He didn’t let me go, Jared. He’s at football camp and I told him I needed space.” I paused for a beat. “But thanks.”
Silence settled between us. It wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable, but it wasn’t particularly comfortable either. It just was.
“I’m really sorry about the party,” I said, finally breaking the quiet.
“Nothing to apologize for. The way I see it, you didn’t ask your boyfriend to go ape-shit on me.”
Boyfriend.
Was Kyle still my boyfriend?
I hadn’t spoken to him since he left for USC, but then wasn’t that what I’d asked for: space?
“Laurie?” Jared’s voice was gentle, coaxing me back to the present. “Are you sure you’re—”
“Jared,” I warned meeting his sympathetic gaze with my irritated one. But when I saw the bruising around his eye, I flinched. “Does it hurt?”
He shrugged. “I guess I had it coming. I egged him on.”
“I’ll never understand what it is with guys and fighting.”
“It’s a territorial thing,” he said, his gaze darkening with something I didn’t want to acknowledge.
“Like dogs peeing up a tree?” I said rolling my eyes, trying to ignore the vibes coming from him.
“Something like that,” his voice trailed off and suddenly the air between us thickened.
“You know I love Kyle...”
“And yet, I’m the one sitting here.”
“Jared, that’s not fair.”
Guilt flashed in his eyes and he said, “I know. I’m sorry. That was a dumb thing to say.”
“It’s fine. Call it even for your face.” My lips curved, and he flashed me a wry smile.
“I know you think I have ulterior motives, and maybe I do. It’s no secret I like you Laurie, I’ve liked you for a long time. But I’m here, as a friend. I just wanted you to know that. No strings, no pressure. I promise.” He nudged his shoulder against mine and I offered him a small nod, unable to reply over the lump in my throat.
“Thanks, I could really use a friend right now.” I had Lo, but she and Maverick had their own stuff going on. And I knew she still didn’t entirely understand why I’d refused to hear Kyle out.
“Hey, what are you doing tonight? A bunch of us are going down to The Bay for a bonfire. Autumn will be there, and I know she’d love to hang out with you.”
Autumn had said the same thing when I’d seen her earlier. But it was weird, wasn’t it?
When I didn’t reply, Jared nudged my shoulder again. “What do you say?”
Hanging with them instead of Lo and Maverick? It felt a lot like I’d be betraying them somehow, but the idea of staying home and dwelling on everything that had happened didn’t fill me with joy either. “Okay,” I said. “I’m in.”
It would be nice to see Autumn and usually bonfires were popular with kids from school, so it wasn’t like it would just be the five of us or anything.
“Great,” Jared answered. “I can pick you up if you want, or not. Whatever.” He fumbled his words.
“I’ll call Autumn and see what her plans are.” I gave him a sideways glance. “But thanks.”
“Like I said before, no pressure. Strictly friends.”
“Friends,” I repeated.
Friends was innocent. Safe. I didn’t have to feel guilty about hanging out with my friends.
At least, that’s what I kept telling myself.
Chapter 15
KYLE
“Okay, bring it in,” The coach boomed across the field. I unclipped my chin strap and yanked off my helmet, sucking in a lungful of fresh air.
“You’re looking good out there, Stone,” one of the guys clapped me on the back and I followed him to the gathered circle. I recognized some of the faces: guys from teams we’d played before, others from the football camp circuit. I should have been pumped, ready to prove my worth and show the supervising staff and Trojan alumni that I was a serious contender for a red and gold jersey.
But I was restless.
“I’m impressed,” he started. “You’ve worked hard, listened, and worked as a team. I don’t have time for showboaters. You’re here to learn, improve on your skill, and get a taste of what it’s like to play college ball. Now get out of here and get cleaned up.”
I walked back to the locker room with a few of the guys I’d played with earlier in the day. “Shit, that was intense,” one of the guys—Darius—said, rubbing his shoulder.
“What did you expect, man?” Another guy chimed in and Darius shrugged, wincing in pain. The guy had taken a hard sack on the field.
“Quit bitching,” I said. “We’re all here for one thing, right? Keep your eye on the prize.”
“Easy for you to say, Stone,” someone hollered, and I glanced around to see a familiar face. “Word has it you’re a sure thing. Guess having a fat bank account is worth more than skill these days.”
My feet ground to a halt and I spun around. “What did you say?”
Aaron Meiter, a rising star out of Long Beach, and tipped to be the next first-string quarterback for The Trojans, flashed me a shit-eating grin. “You heard me.”
“Chill, Aaron. We’re all friends.”
“It’s okay, D. I’m intrigued to hear Meiter’s theory.” Anger vibrated through me. Usually I would have let his shit talk go, but that was before.
Before my perfect life had been ripped out from under me.
He cocked his head, sending his buddy an amused look. “Must really suck to know people only pay you any kind of attention because they want a piece of the Stone-Prince pie. You might get a place on the team next year, but you won’t have earne—”
I lunged forward ready to tear his head from his body, but strong arms went
around my waist, hauling me back. “Don’t give him the satisfaction, man. The guy needs to learn there is no I in team.” Darius refused to let me up as I tried to shirk him off, my hardened glare pointed right at Aaron.
“Me and you, Meiter. On the field. Any day of the week.”
Darius groaned behind me, but I was too far gone. If Coach and the rest of the supervising staff weren’t still out on the field, I would have suggested a little one-on-one right then.
I was good, I knew that. I didn’t need some piece of shit like Meiter’s validation. But the beast was itching for a fight. And I didn’t like the insinuation that I’d bought my way here. I’d earned it like everyone else. Football was my life, had been since I was just a kid and Dad gave me my first ball.
He stepped closer, the air crackling with tension. “It’s on, Stone. It’s. On.”
A chorus of groans followed, but I didn’t break our stare off. I wasn’t scared of a douchecanoe like Aaron Meiter. Eventually, his buddy shoulder checked him, and they walked off, taking the bad atmosphere with them.
“You shouldn’t egg him on, man.” Darius rubbed his jaw. “I’ve heard some crazy shit about him.”
“He’s just blowing smoke up his own ass,” someone else piped up. “He’s good, sure, but so are the rest of us.”
“We’ve got your back, Kyle, man. But Coach won’t stand for any shit on the field.”
“Thanks, D,” I said, some of the tension leaving my body. “Come on, let’s get back to the dorms, I could eat a horse.”
The guys snickered, and we headed in the direction of the building we’d been assigned to. Darius was right, I couldn’t let Meiter get the better of me, but rational thinking wasn’t exactly my strong suit lately. So I’d just have to do what I did best: Take my anger out on the field.
A GROUP OF US WENT to the student center cafeteria to eat. It was a big sprawling place, and I soaked it in, imagining what it would be like to be here next year. All I’d ever wanted was to play football in college. I didn’t mind classes, but my heart lay on the field. There was no backup plan for me. I wanted a one-way ticket into the NFL. That was the end game. Sure, I knew the chances were slim, but there was no room for doubt. I had to keep my eye on the prize.