by D. A. Young
Casey bleakly met their eyes. “Ma thought I left for school, but I heard her say to herself on my way out that she wished she could leave this hellhole and had never set eyes on Patrick. I’ve always kind of thought that she wanted to leave us too...but then she did leave, and I had no one to love me.”
“That’s not true, Case,” Jack said roughly as he stood up and grabbed his little brother by the neck, pulling him close to wrap his arms around him. “I’m here and so is Darby. Vivienne, Kat, Ian, Lex, Holt and Guy too. We ain’t goin’ anywhere, and we all love you, the same way you love us. Noelle, Avery, Ruby, baby Jack, and D.J. are the newest members of our family, and they love you as well. Our family is growin’ bigger and stronger together. We’ve come so far from where we were; it’d be a cryin’ shame if you didn’t evolve as a person as well. So, don’t be scared to love your woman with everythin’ you got and receive’ the love she gives you in return.”
“If anythin’, that lesson should have taught you that tomorrow’s not promised, asshole,” Darby added affectionately as he joined in on the hug. “Shake that devil off your back and live your life right, little brother. Ma wouldn’t want you to be so burdened. Don’t take to heart what she said. We all wished to escape the hell of that bastard.”
Casey stiffened and suddenly pulled back. “That’s another thing that bothers me. Why weren’t we good enough for him? What made Nate so special that he could treat him decent, but not us?! I keep rackin’ my brain and comin’ up with shit! Who treats their kids so fucked up?!”
“You’re lookin’ at it wrong, Case,” Darby insisted. “Patrick was never good enough for us! Everyone knew we deserved more, and him less. He couldn’t break us, so he tried to bring us down to his level, but we rose above that shit.”
“Every level brings a different devil. You need to pick and choose your battles,” Jack said, clapping him on the back affectionately. “Now, let’s eat.”
Casey set the plates while Jack grabbed some beers and Darby sliced the bread. They sat down together and grasped hands as Jack blessed the food. They didn’t speak until after their plates were filled and bottle caps were popped.
“Man, they’ve really trained us up,” Casey smiled. “Unless Vivienne and Kat were with us, we never blessed our food after Ma passed.”
“Or went to church on Sundays,” Jack said proudly around a forkful of pasta.
“I swear Sister Mary McCloud is holdin’ on by a thread every time she sees me in the doorway,” Darby grinned. “Now, she’s the Sunday school teacher and spills all my dirt to D.J. It’s amazin’ how God sends you the things you never knew you needed, and your life changes for the better in the blink of an eye.”
Casey snorted, “If McCloud is spillin’ your dirt then that’s enough dirt to grow a garden. Your ass was bad as hell and the reason we had rules in the first place.”
“I don’t blame you for feelin’ that way. Middle children are often misunderstood. Sorry, we all couldn’t be perfect, angelic and spoiled like you,” Darby tossed back disgustedly and turned to Jack. “Seriously, I had to iron this fool’s underwear because it felt ‘weird’ to him wearin’ them wrinkled.”
“Oh shit, I forgot about that!” Jack laughed. “What does Sidra say about you needin’ pressed Underoos?”
Casey shrugged nonchalantly. “She doesn’t and won’t know unless you tell her that every Saturday, Darby took the time to carefully iron my draws while I laughed hysterically behind his back.”
“You little fucker!” Darby said in wonder. “You did that on purpose!”
“Because you wouldn’t stop wakin’ me up with wet willies!” Casey retorted, ducking Darby’s punch. “I died laughin’ every time I saw your big hands carefully ironin’ my Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle undies!”
“Just terrible. I pray that Ruby and Jack aren’t like the two of you,” Jack said fervently.
“Good luck with that, brother,” Darby said cheerfully. “Ruby’s determination to get her way, especially now that she’s seen baby Jack’s strength, is in full effect. It’s like tryin’ to put a tornado in a box.”
“Who you tellin’??? The other day she was screamin’ like a banshee because she tried to give him a hug, and he latched onto her hair and wouldn’t let go. I felt so bad for my baby girl, just layin’ there bein’ held captive,” Jack said mournfully. “I got her free, but I swear the kid was tryin’ to arm wrestle me and flex his weight!”
Casey laughed along with his brothers, longing to share his own news about Bean. He couldn’t wait to be part of the fatherhood gang.
Darby pointed his fork at Casey. “So, you ready for all the life changes?”
At first, he thought his older brother was talking about Bean, but then he remembered the email he sent to his brothers regarding the foundation. “I am ready to do my service, not only to the foundation but to my country. These our tryin’ times for our nation, and we need to stand strong and united in making our voice heard.” Casey looked at them somberly. “I just can’t believe how hard it is for people to understand that.”
“Amen to that,” Darby took a swig of his beer. “It’s appallin’ because you tell yourself how hard can it be to comprehend that if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s a fuckin’ duck! It’s as simple as that. Havin’ common sense and compassion should be mandatory like having a current license to drive or washin’ your ass.”
“The sad thing is, it will get worse before it gets better,” Jack said regretfully. “We just have to rise above it and press forward. To be the change we want to see for future generations to come. So, I’m on board.”
“Amen to that. Thank you guys for showin’ up. I wish it had been under better circumstances,” Casey said sincerely.
“You don’t need to thank us,” Jack assured him. “Just don’t ever think that we won’t, and remember what we said about lovin’ Sidra. She can take your love, and if she didn’t want it then she wouldn’t be here.”
“She’s pretty strong-willed,” Darby agreed. “I don’t think she’d have a problem speakin’ her mind.”
“Y’all don’t know the half of it,” Casey rolled his eyes. “Her mother is Angela Woodrow.”
His announcement was met with a “Get the fuck outta here!” and “That makes perfect fuckin’ sense!”
“So, the ‘man hater’ is gonna be your mama-in-law?” Darby burst out laughing at Casey’s sour look. “Oh, that is too good! That more than makes up for ironin’ your panties!”
“So what did she say about you marryin’ “Calamity Jane”?” Jack asked curiously.
“That she doesn’t approve,” Casey said coolly. “But clearly, she isn’t aware of what happens if you try to come between a Sullivan brother and his woman.”
Jack looked at his brothers and raised his bottle, and they clinked them in silent agreement.
“Hear, hear,” Darby said softly.
***
Dominick awoke from another nap and panicked to see Sidra’s chair was empty. He attempted to sit up, but the pain in his ribs made him fall back against his pillows, struggling to catch his breath. “She left me…”
“Sidra would never do that, Dominick.” He turned his anguished gaze to meet Ian’s concerned one on the other side of the bed. The older man closed the newspaper he’d been reading and placed it in his lap. “How are you feeling?”
“Sorry, I didn’t see you there,” Dominick mumbled. “I’m alright. Where’d she go? Back to that asshole who did this to me?”
Ian’s eyes froze over at his words, and his own carried an Artic chill when he replied. “Dear boy, while I am sympathetic to your current condition, if you talk about Casey in that manner again, I will be forced to show you a crazy that makes his look like an all-expense paid trip to Disneyland. Understood?”
“Why are you here?” Dominick demanded, looking away from the impeccably styled older gentleman. “I’m fine now, and I’d appreciate some privacy. Please leave now.”
; “I’m here because you attempted to leave the firm. While that is your prerogative, I can’t help but feel you’re doing it for all the wrong reasons,” Ian explained, holding Dominick’s gaze. “We’ve treated you well, have given you great exposure, and your following has increased tenfold. Our services have been more than exemplary. There has been no feedback or indication from neither you nor your agent that you were unhappy with our services. So that leads me to believe that you just don’t want the world to know you’re gay, correct?”
Dominick closed his eyes at the words and fought the scalding hot shame the words filled him with. “You don’t understand…what it’s like for me.”
“No, I guess I can’t,” Ian drawled sarcastically. “After all, I’m only a middle-aged gay man who was raised in a strict Catholic family that believed homosexuality was a sin and immediately cut him off upon hearing his admission. On top of that, my partner was a black man, and back in those days, interracial relationships weren’t so accepting.”
There was a long silence before Dominick opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. “Did-did you love him?”
“From the moment I saw him,” Ian’s response was swift and assured with an enormous smile. “I never regretted being with him. Harvey had reservations about coming out at first, but I couldn’t live like that, having my happiness controlled by those who couldn’t even be happy for me.”
“Was it worth it?” Dominick was mesmerized by Ian’s confidence. The older man was out and proud, surrounded by people who loved and accepted him for who he was.
“Every single day.” Ian’s smile was full of the memories that he and his partner had shared. “My only regret was that he was gone too soon. Taken by cancer. Dominick, it’s a shame that you haven’t gotten to be the person you were meant to be, but things do happen for a reason. I believe this is your chance to turn your life around and step into the light. Not the celebratory spotlight, but the light that is rightfully yours.”
“I don’t know if I can,” Dominick’s frustration rang through in his words. “My father never wanted me, especially once he found out I was gay. The pics were of me and a teammate from my high school soccer team…experimenting. Nero kept tabs on me and threatened to not pay my mom’s bills. Because he knew I liked to sing, he hooked me up with a talent scout who was putting a band together, but only on the condition that I keep my sexuality a secret.” He laughed bitterly. “Nero was so adamant that being gay was a dirty sin, that eventually, I was revolted by it as well and have been fighting the urges ever since.”
“You’ve never…” Ian’s eyebrows raised curiously and Dominick turned red with embarrassment.
“Once,” he whispered with deep shame. “It happened with the soccer player, but not since then. I…interact with women who get off on anal intercourse only. My agent finds them for me.”
Ian’s eyes were sharp. “So, your agent is the same one hired by your father.”
“Yes, he keeps tabs on me for Nero,” Dominick said with self-loathing. “I wish I was like Sidra. She’s so brave and doesn’t take shit from anyone. When I discovered who she was, I asked Nero about her, and he told me to stay away. It was the only time in my life that I stood up for myself and blackmailed him. I told him that if he didn’t butt out, I would tell the world about him and his illegitimate children. But I couldn’t bring myself to tell her who I was.”
“And why is that, Dominick?” Ian’s voice was so full of pity that he couldn’t bear to look at him and see it reflected in his eyes as well.
“My entire life has revolved around people who didn’t want or accept me. I couldn’t bear it if she turned out to be one more,” Dominick said thickly and lay back against his pillow, blinking back tears. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to rest now.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
Sidra waited in the elegantly designed lobby and surveyed the black and white portraits of architectural monuments around the world that hung on the walls.
Her eyes drifted to the all-white furniture and crystal containers filled with sansevieria plants. With no appointment, she’d been kept waiting for fifteen minutes but had no intentions of leaving without being seen. It was six in the evening, and she was tired and hungry. Ian had been giving her suspicious looks as she made excuses, due to morning sickness, to leave Dominick’s room. All she wanted to do was get back to the hospital and make sure Dominick would be looked after before heading to Whiskey Row. Lord, she was in need of some girl time and baby cuddles!
Finally, she heard brisk footsteps behind her and turned around to watch Nero approach, looking very distinguished in a black suit and a silver, white, and black striped tie. He glanced at the reception booth and gave a formal nod before smiling warmly at Sidra. She didn’t return it and headed for the exit, indicating he should follow. From behind her, he spoke. “This is a surprise, Sidra. I never expected to see you in my place of business.”
The translation of ‘what the fuck are you doing here?’ was loud and clear to her. She stared at the Lincoln Memorial and tried to center herself and not show her anger. Focus on ‘Bean’, she told herself. All the stress wouldn’t be good for the baby. Sidra kept her eyes on the statue as she confessed. “That’s a mutual assessment. I’m here because of my brother Dominick.”
“So, he finally told you,” Nero jeered. “I was wondering when he would grow a pair and confess. He was always such a sensitive, wimpy child. I didn’t think he had it in him.”
“Why, because you thought you’d crushed his spirit completely with your blackmail?” Sidra asked calmly. “All he ever wanted was to be loved. You took his mother from him, but I’m sure in your eyes, she was weak too.”
“I promised her nothing, and she willingly helped me. I didn’t hold a gun to her head,” Nero retorted defiantly.
“No, I’m sure you didn’t, but when it comes to women, your charm is just as dangerous a weapon,” Sidra said disdainfully. “Your professional life seems very admirable, but the truth is, you slept your way to the top. Don’t try to deny it; your children are the proof.”
Nero was fuming at her words, but he was honest enough with himself to recognize the truth of them. That still didn’t give her the right to speak to him that way. “Watch your mouth, mija. You are being very disrespectful right now, and that, I will not tolerate.”
Sidra laughed caustically at his words. “No, YOU watch your mouth. If you think I won’t turn my ass up outrageously in your place of business, then you are seriously mistaken! I don’t give a damn who is around and watching. This is what I want from you, so pay attention: you are going to apologize to Dominick for being so cruel. Explain to him that you are a megalomaniac, homophobic asshole of epic proportions and beg for his forgiveness and understanding.” Sidra rolled her eyes at him, now noticing the resemblance between him and Dominick. They had the same complexion, nose, and mouth and were even built similarly. “For some reason, your approval is really important to him, but I have no doubt that once you give it, he’ll realize he never needed it and be able to move on with his life.”
“And you?” Nero bit out, enraged at her audacity. “What do you want from me? Surely you didn’t come here just for Dominick. Or are you making sure I don’t press charges against Sullivan for assaulting me at his brother’s wedding?”
And that’s why I don’t understand why people label me ‘The Crazy One’, Sidra thought in exasperation. Casey had assaulted her father AND brother, which meant Lena should probably take it easy on him. Not that she was worried because her mom stayed strapped, and Casey wasn’t that off his fucking rocker. “I want nothing from you. I came here strictly for my brother. Take on Casey at your own foolish risk. I suggest you find the time and set up a meeting when I return to town next week. Sooner rather than later, Nero.”
Sidra watched him turn away and remembered something else Dominick had told her. “One more thing, Nero.”
He spun around to face her, dark eyes full of irritation. “What else can I
do for you, Sidra?”
“Nina approached Dominick and attempted to solicit his help in breaking Casey and me up,” Sidra watched Nero’s eyes widen with disbelief. “She offered herself in exchange for his help.” Her lips twisted into a sneer at his horrified realization. “Can you imagine the catastrophe if he’d unknowingly taken her up on that offer? Or worse, that he knowingly would as a form of revenge against you?”
She watched as he opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. “It gives me no pleasure to say this, but the worlds you fought very hard to keep separate are about to collide. There won’t be anything you can do to stop it, Nero.”
At one time, the sight of him gagging on a spoonful of his own medicine, as if giving an unwanted blowjob, would have brought her immense pleasure. That was the funny thing about babies. They had a way of softening you. Dammit. She wanted her baby to be surrounded by light and love. Not just by Casey’s side, but her side too. It was a far stretch to imagine herself calling Nina up just to say, “Hey girl, heeey!”, but they had to start somewhere. Sidra hoped liked hell she wouldn’t regret her next words. “I know exactly how that feels, so I’m offering my assistance if you’d like it. I’ll be in touch when I get back.”
He called after her as she walked away. “How do you have my number?”
Sidra called over her shoulder. “I got it from my mother!”
Her town car was waiting across the street at Starbucks because she’d been unsure of how long the meeting would take. She waited patiently to cross the street with fellow pedestrians and noticed a tall, shabbily-dressed white man wading through the crowd. She tucked her purse closer to her side and kept him in her peripherals as she stared at the timer. Twelve seconds until the light changed. He was closer now, and Sidra turned to look directly at him. She was surprised to find him staring right back, and his expression bothered her. It was as if he knew her and didn’t like her. His brown eyes traveled up and down her body in a way that made Sidra feel violated.