Emilia slowly slid down with her back against the cubicle wall. She found my mouth and we began to kiss again. My eyes fluttered shut. I felt her hand between my legs as the kiss deepened. Emilia’s fingers slid into me and she began to move in and out, while her palm pressed on my swollen clit. Soon I felt my own climax build. Emilia didn’t stop until I came so hard that I nearly passed out.
We slowly stood up again and kissed tenderly. I squeezed some shower gel on my hands and began to soap Emilia’s body. She began to giggle when I touched her waist and her stomach. Obviously, she was ticklish in some places. After I had finished cleaning and caressing her body, Emilia returned the favor and washed and cleaned my body.
After we had dried our hair and got dressed we went to the coffee bar where we had been last time, and took a brief breakfast. Afterwards I picked up my instrument at Emilia’s and went to the bus stop to go home. Emilia accompanied me to the bus stop. We didn’t talk much, but there was no awkward silence. When my bus came, we hugged and I quickly kissed her on her mouth.
“Bye, Jenny, guess I’ll see you around.” With that Emilia turned around and left. I watched as her long red hair moved in the chilly wind.
My service time at the wine bar ‘The Mirror’ officially ended at 8 pm this Saturday. I had covered the busy lunchtime, but business was rather slow during the afternoon. The place was packed again in the early evening and Mike, the owner, asked me if I could do some extra hours, because he needed every hand. I felt tired, but could need some extra money and thus agreed.
I finally left ‘The Mirror’ at 11pm. I was exhausted and confused. While I walked to the bus stop I checked my cell phone. There was one call from Martin I had missed, but he had left a message. He asked if I could make it for an extra band rehearsal on next Tuesday, because our club gig was coming closer. He also wanted to know if I had Sherinia’s phone number, since he didn’t have it. My face lit up. This would give me a nice pretense to call her.
Sherinia. Just the mention of her name put a smile on my face. I recalled her beautiful face with those luminous blue-green eyes, her pink lips, her brown hair, her wonderful body, and I felt butterflies in my stomach.
But the next moment Emilia came to my mind. We had shared surprisingly wonderful moments last night and this morning. What was it with Emilia? Obviously, Emilia was not as straight as I had thought. It seemed she was experimenting with her sexuality like I did. She liked me and trusted me. So much was clear. But she had also made it clear that she considered our encounter as a one-night-stand. Besides, she would be gone to London soon. So why worry about Emilia? However, somewhere deep inside me, I knew I couldn’t forget her so easily.
When I came home that evening, everything was quiet in our apartment. Neither our mother, nor my fifteen-year-old brother was at home. Where the hell was he? What did he think? I became angry with my irresponsible and uncaring mother and my careless brother.
I took a bottle of beer from the fridge, opened it, went to my room, and plopped down on my bed. I felt tired and confused and angry and didn’t want to think about any of it. I hoped the beer would help me to a quiet sleep.
CHAPTER TEN – A PANG OF JEALOUSY
The next morning I woke up with a slight headache. I heard voices somewhere in the apartment. One was clearly a male voice that was not my brother’s.
Oh my God, another of my mother’s conquests.
I covered my eyes with my hands.
Oh no, I don’t want to get up.
I looked at the clock on my nightstand. It was nearly 10am.
Maybe this is a good time to call Sherinia?
I picked up my cell phone from the floor and dialed her number. After the 4th ring tone she answered the call.
“Hello?”
“Uh, hi Sherinia, this is Jenny.”
“Hi, Jenny, great to hear from you. Just hold on for a moment, I’ll be right back.”
I heard another female voice in the background. So she was not alone and strangely enough it gave me a pang in my chest.
“So, here I am again, Jenny. What’s up?”
“Oh, Martin wants an additional band rehearsal next Tuesday. You know, because of our gig. Can you make it?”
“Wait a moment, please.” She seemed to check her calendar.
“What time on Tuesday?”
“At 6 pm.”
“Okay, I can make it.”
“Good.” There was silence for a moment. I didn’t know what to say.
“Jenny? Are you okay?
“Oh, yes, thank you. Just a bit tired still. I was working for nearly 12 hours yesterday.”
“Poor darling, you. But I guess you needed the money.”
“Yep. What are you up to today, Sherinia?”
“Hanging out with a friend. Nothing exciting.”
“I see. Guess I’ll see you on Tuesday then.”
“Jenny? Are you really okay?” There seemed to be concern in her voice.
“Yes, like I said, just a bit tired still.”
“Want to hang out with me some time next week?”
“Yes, I’d love that.” I hoped my voice didn’t betray my enthusiasm.
“Let’s talk about it on Tuesday then. Bye Jenny.”
“Bye, Sherinia.”
I dropped back on my pillow. What had I expected? I didn’t know if Sherinia was single or not. And I didn’t know who the other girl was. But still I felt jealous.
This is absolutely crazy. You don’t even know if you are gay or not. So why are you jealous?
I didn’t want to think about it. My stomach reminded me that I was hungry and therefore I got up. I went to the bathroom, took a shower, and a look into the mirror before I got dressed. I saw a pale young woman with very long black hair, dark shadows under her green eyes, firm round breasts, a completely tattooed left arm, and a firm round butt. I always thought my backside was a bit too big.
I got dressed. As usual, I put on black denim jeans, a black t-shirt and a green hoodie. I gathered my hair in a messy ponytail. I realized my hair was much too long and needed a cut. Then I braced myself to leave my room to meet my mother and her new conquest.
I went down the hallway to the kitchen, but before I reached it, my mother came from the living room with a broad grin on her face and a cigarette in her hand.
“Good morning, honey. I want you to meet someone.” Her voice was sticky like honey.
I let out my breath and followed her into the living room. On the sofa sat a slim man with short dark hair and a cigarette in his hand. His bloodshot pig eyes gave me the typical one-over look. A broad grin appeared on his face.
“Honey, this is my colleague Manfred. Manfred, please meet my daughter Jennifer,” my mother introduced us.
Manfred slowly got up from the sofa. When he stood he did not even reach my height.
What a gnome!
Manfred offered his hand and I shook it briefly. His hand was warm and sweaty. Then I turned around and walked to the kitchen.
“Jenny, why don’t you join us for a while?” My mother cooed behind me.
I didn’t answer. I made a coffee and prepared a sandwich. Then I took my mug and the sandwich and went back to my room. I booted my laptop and connected it with the stereo. I was annoyed and needed something hard and heavy. I chose the band ‘In Flames’ and played it loud. I sat down at my desk, drank my coffee, and ate my sandwich.
Manfred was a jerk I knew this from the very beginning. My mother’s taste in men became worse every time. She must be pretty desperate.
But what about me? I didn’t know who I was. I hadn’t had a boyfriend for months and was not interested in having one. My crush on Lena was kind of history now. But what about Sherinia? And what about Emilia? I had no answers to these questions.
I decided to give Martin a call.
“Hey Blacky, what’s up?” Martin answered.
“Hi Martin. I talked to Sherinia earlier. She can make it on Tuesday.”
“Wow, that’s co
ol. What are you up to today?”
“I don’t know yet. But I need some fresh air. It’s stuffy in here.”
“Your mom?”
“Yep. A new lover again.”
“She’s worse than a teenager,” Martin giggled. “Want to take a walk? I can pick you up at your place, let’s say in an hour?”
“Sounds good, Martin. See you later.”
+++
We talked about music, the band, and our upcoming gig. Martin and I were taking a walk along the riverbank. It was a cold, but sunny Sunday afternoon and a cold breeze was blowing. I had on my black winter jacket and wore a black woolen hat on my head.
“What do you think of Sherinia?” Martin suddenly asked me.
“Uh, she’s a wonderful singer,” I answered truthfully. Martin seemed not to be content with my answer.
“Yeah, she is. But that’s not what I meant. You guys were hanging out together, right? What do you think of her as a person?”
“She seems to be very nice and smart,” I answered tentatively.
“Yes, that was my impression too. Uh, do you happen to know if she is single?”
I looked at Martin in surprise. His cheeks were slightly red and I guessed it was not only from the cold.
“Actually I don’t know. We didn’t talk about it. When I called her this morning she wasn’t alone, but I don’t know if that means anything. Could have been a roommate or whoever. Why are you asking, Martin?”
“Just out of interest. You know, a boyfriend could mind her hanging out with the band and stuff.”
I slapped Martin’s arm playfully.
“Oh c’mon, Martin, you have a crush on her. You can tell me, I’m your best female friend.”
Martin really blushed.
“Okay, no need to tell me, I can see it.”
I was amused, but at the same time I felt a bit sorry for my best friend. I didn’t want him to get hurt, but of course I couldn’t tell him what I knew about Sherinia.
“It’s damn cold. What about having a coffee?” Martin asked.
“Good idea. Let’s go.”
We went back to Martin’s car and drove back downtown. It was no difficulty to find a parking lot on this cold Sunday afternoon.
We found a cozy little coffee bar with plush sofas and flower motif wallpapers. I had not wanted to go to the ‘Black Bean’ because I didn’t want to meet any jerks from school. Nor did I want to run into Lena Davids in case she was on duty.
I looked around for a place for us – and looked directly into Emilia’s blue eyes. She sat a small bistro table with two guys I didn’t know. She blushed profusely when she saw Martin and me, but waved her hand to acknowledge us.
What the hell is she doing here with two guys?
Immediately the picture of a naked Emilia under the shower with me came to my mind. It gave me a very warm feeling in my stomach and my pulse quickened, but at the same time I felt cheated and exploited.
What does she think she is doing with me? Am I just a nice titillation, a little lesbian attraction for her?
I felt my stomach clench. I grabbed Martin’s arm and dragged him to a free bistro table in the next corner. We sat down and Martin looked at me questioningly.
“What’s the matter with you, Blacky? You look as if you had just eaten a lemon.”
“It’s nothing. I’m okay.”
The waitress came and took our orders. Martin ordered a tea and I a hot chocolate. From where I sat I had a direct view of Emilia and the two guys. I stared at her. Martin turned and followed the direction of my gaze.
“What is it with you and Emilia? C’mon spill it.”
“It’s nothing, really.”
Martin clearly was not convinced, but didn’t probe further.
“Should we inform Emilia about the rehearsal on Tuesday?” I asked. “I haven’t called her.”
“Nor have I. But I mean she still belongs to the band. I guess we should tell her and she can decide. Want me to walk over to her?” Martin looked at me questioningly. I shrugged my shoulders. I looked over to Emilia’s table. To me it seemed obvious the guys were hitting on her. Funny enough, every time I looked over at her our gazes met.
Just as Martin wanted to get up the waitress came back with his tea and my chocolate. After she had left Martin stood up and walked over to where Emilia was sitting. I watched as Martin talked to her and she smiled at him. When Martin turned around to join me Emilia looked at me. Our eyes locked immediately. Slowly, but steadily the corners of her mouth moved upwards until she fully smiled at me. Her eyes were sparkling. And I couldn’t help but smile back at her and remember the wonderful moments we had shared. I somehow knew that she was not serious about the two guys and I felt the butterflies stir in my stomach. But what did this mean for me?
“She’s not decided yet, but if she can make it, she’ll join us on Tuesday. She was very pleased that I asked her,” Martin said as he sat down again.
Martin and I talked about everything and anything. Suddenly I noticed that Emilia and the two guys stood up and prepared to leave. Emilia came over to our table.
“Hi Jenny, I’ll call you later. Okay?”
“Okay, Em. Talk to you later.”
She showed me a brilliant smile, turned around, and left with the two guys.
+++
“Jenny, please don’t fall in love with me,” Emilia said.
Emilia had kept her word and given me a ring later that Sunday evening, long after Martin had taken me home. I was lying on my bed, staring at Sonic Syndicate bass player Karin Axelsson on the poster that hung on my wall. She was a kind of role model for me – a female bass player in a heavy metal band.
Emilia had asked me why I was mad at her. I told her that I didn’t like it how she was flirting with the two boys.
“Don’t tell me you were jealous.”
I hesitated for a moment. What should I tell her?
Tell her the truth.
“When I saw you at the coffee bar I remembered our intimate moments together and it gave me a very warm feeling in my stomach. But then I saw how you were flirting with the two guys and I felt a pang of jealousy and became mad at you.”
There was a momentary silence.
“Jenny, please don’t fall in love with me. I’m still exploring my sexuality and you know that I will be away for several months.”
“I know that you will be gone. But I want to know… Emilia, please tell me what is this thing between us?”
“Jenny, I don’t really know. I have certain feelings for you…but I don’t know. I really don’t know. I shouldn’t have such feelings for you. Maybe it is good that I will be gone for a while.”
So she doesn’t know who she is either.
“Jenny?”
“Hm?”
“Next Friday will be my last time with the band. I want to ask you out for dinner, just the two of us. Do you want to come with me afterwards? A last sleepover before I go to London?”
Sudden warmth streamed through my whole body.
“Yes, Emilia, I want to.”
“That’s wonderful, Jenny, you make me happy.”
There were warmth and sunshine in her voice and I felt them in my stomach.
CHAPTER ELEVEN – MAGIC MOMENTS IN THE BAND ROOM
“Where the hell is our singer? She’s as unreliable as Emilia,” Robin complained. It was the next Tuesday, the day of our important rehearsal. As usual, all band members were present and ready to play – except for the singer. It was only 10 minutes past 6pm.
My thoughts drifted off for a moment. Monday and today had been quite busy for me. I had a lot of work to do for school. And something weird was going on as well. Lena and Jonas were now hanging out together quite frequently. Jonas was the nerdy guy who was considered as gay by most of our classmates. She sometimes even took his hand and for somebody neutral it might even look as if they were about to hook up. But then she was also still together with Paulina. I couldn’t figure out what they were up to.<
br />
The door to our band room opened in this very moment and in came Emilia and Sherinia. Their eyes met mine and simultaneously the corners of their mouths shot up in big smiles. I smiled back at them and my pulse rate increased. They both looked gorgeous. Emilia had on her tight black leather pants and a dark-blue long sleeve denim shirt. Her red hair was in a messy bun.
Sherinia was also dressed in black leather pants, but was wearing a bright-green mini-skirt above, and had a black sweater on. Her brown hair was gathered in a ponytail.
I want them both.
I briefly looked around at the boys of the band and caught them staring at the two girls.
“Hi,” we all cried like in one voice.
“So glad you made it,” Martin said. Was his voice trembling?
“Ready to start?”
“Yeah, let’s rock,” Sherinia said as she walked to the microphone tripod. Emilia sat down on the floor to watch. The band began to play and like the first time with Sherinia at the micro the whole room seemed to be under the spell of her voice. Within just a few days she knew most of our lyrics by heart. The music unfolded and I submerged in it. Everything seemed to be so easy suddenly. I noticed Emilia watching me and I smiled at her. She smiled back at me and I saw her eyes were sparkling. It sent a shiver down my spine. I briefly looked at Sherina and as our eyes locked a grin appeared on her beautiful face. I began to sweat profusely.
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