by Harp, Wilson
“No, baby. The town’s good. It’s strong. You’ll be safe there.”
“I’m safe here, David. And I have more than most.” She stepped close to Helling and he put his hand on her leg. “You don’t care about me, David. You never have. You always cared more about yourself and your parents than me. You always held me down.”
Rage boiled out of me from the deep recesses of my soul. I was betrayed. Hurt and wounded. The anger ripped through me.
“Don’t care? Didn’t care? I busted my ass to come find you through the dead of winter. I risked my life and the lives of my friends to find you and you say I don’t care and never did? I have sacrificed everything for you, Lexi. Ever since we were together, it was your wants and desires which drove our lives. You wanted a bigger house, you wanted me to switch companies. And I did it because I loved you. But it was never enough, was it? You always wanted more, or something better, or something different. You know how many sofas we went through? Dozens! And each time it was the perfect one. The perfect one you hated just months later. And somehow that was my fault too, wasn’t it? So was I just the sofa you grew tired of, Lexi? Were you already with this guy before all of this happened?”
Lexi was stunned by my outburst, but the further I went the more I saw the anger well up in her eyes.
“No,” she said. Her eyes narrowed like a cat. “It was Robert I was with. It was Robert who made me happy.”
I felt my body convulse. It was a miracle I stayed on my feet. Robert was one of our best friends. He and Lorrie were our constant companions. When the problems with Lexi started, he was the one I went to for advice. His advice was to give her room. He even suggested leaving Lexi and Emma behind when I went to check on my parents. He said it would give Lexi time to figure out what she wanted to do.
“Where is he?” I asked. I thought of the shotgun Anne held. I would use it on the loathsome slime.
“I don’t know. He disappeared after shutdown and I found Peter here. He’s a real man. He knows how to take care of me. You never did.”
I heard Anne rack the shotgun. “I should kill you right now, you bitch.”
“No, it’s okay Anne. You don’t have to kill her, she’s already dead. I don’t know how long ago she died, but my wife is dead.”
Lexi turned her eyes from mine.
“Well, this ended up more tense than I would have imagined. And since I’m the one who started the gun play, that’s really saying something,” muttered Alan. “But I suppose we should get on with business. David, maybe you, Ted, and Anne should go outside. I’ll join you in a little while when I get this deal worked out.”
“Why are you making a deal, Alan?” Ted asked. “You have the military ready to attack from the south and you’re a week north of them making a deal with a two-bit gang.”
“It’s the naval base,” I said. “The Southsiders control the salvage of the city. Alan needs the military hardware to hold off Andrews.”
Alan smiled at me. “You are sharp. Even with all of your personal issues, you can see the heart of the matter. Let’s get you on your way. Terry, find some paper and write them up a pass.”
“Daddy? Daddy!”
Emma yelled for me as she pushed her way through a crowd of people who looked into the destroyed lobby of the hospital. She raced across the broken glass and past the armed Police who were standing guard. I grabbed her in my arms, and held her close. I had found my daughter.
Chapter 22
I hugged Emma tight. My little girl was back in my arms. She looked thin, but healthy. I held her as she cried and sobbed.
“Well ain’t that something,” Miller said.
“It’s the whole reason we left home,” Anne said.
My cheeks were soaked with tears as I held my Emma close. I had been afraid she was gone, afraid I would never see her again.
“Daddy,” Emma sobbed. “You’re alive! You’re alive.”
“I am, baby. I came for you.”
“This is ridiculous. Can we move the Hallmark card out of here?” Helling asked.
I glared up at Helling. Lexi stood behind him and glared back at me.
“You in a hurry to continue?” Alan asked the gang leader. “If so, then give me a minute and I’ll get back to the deal.”
Helling frowned as he sat back in his chair and Lexi put her hand on his shoulder. His jaw clenched and his lips tightened as he watched Alan.
“You were telling the truth,” Alan said. “I can see that. You were heading here to get your family and take them back with you.”
“Exactly right,” I said. “At least those who want to go.”
I looked up at Lexi. She stared back at me and I knew there was no changing her mind. Helling reached up and covered her hand with his.
“I want to go, daddy,” Emma said.
“Then you can, sweetie,” I told her.
I looked up at Alan. “Isn’t that right?”
“Do you know your mom wants to stay here?” he asked.
Emma nodded as she buried her face in my coat.
“She knows,” I said. I looked back at Lexi. My wife pulled her eyes away from mine and blinked as tears formed. Something had happened between the two. I didn’t know what, but Lexi wanted me to take Emma from this place.
“You’re right, Helling. We have business to talk about and this is a distraction,” Alan said. He motioned to Terry. “Make sure they have everything they need.”
Alan then turned to us. “When you get to the base, tell Andrews I want to talk about a cease fire and maybe we can set up some meetings.”
“We will,” said Ted.
“I owe you for what you did for me. Now we’re square. Understood?”
“I understand, Alan,” I said. “We’ll give you a wide berth from here on.”
“What about Kenny?” Ted asked.
“That’s a different matter. I’ll see to it when I get back. Now leave while you can. I have to take care of this.”
We went over to where Helling’s men had tossed our gear and packed up our backpacks. Emma helped me put in all of the supplies.
“Do you need to go get your things?” I asked.
“No,” she said.
“You’ll at least need a heavier coat,” I said.
“Okay. But go with me?”
“I will, sweetie.”
“David,” Alan said. “Here are your papers from Andrews. You’ll likely need them when you run into his men. Show him the pass Terry will give you and it should convince him to open negotiations again.”
“I will, Alan,” I said. “Thank you.”
“Get going, David. Head home and live a good life.”
Terry and some of the Police escorted us outside.
“If we go to the south door, I can get to my room quick,” Emma said. “I’ll get everything I can and hurry back.”
“Yes, sweetie. We’ll go with you.”
“I need to write out the pass,” Terry said. “It might take me a few minutes.”
“We’ll take care of this, David. You go with Emma and get her things.” Ted said. “You’ll send someone with him to make sure he doesn’t have problems, right?”
Terry smiled. “Sure, we’ll let the girl go get her stuff.”
One of the Police escorted Emma and me around to the door near her room. Miller’s men has control of all the entryways, but after a quick word from our escort, they let Emma in to get packed.
“Found your daughter,” our escort said. He was in his thirties, but looked rougher. “My baby girl is out near Seattle somewhere. Maybe one day I can go find her.”
“Maybe you will.”
There was a commotion just inside the door.
“Let me through, I just want to talk to him,” Lexi said. She pushed past the arm of one of the Police and popped into view.
“David, I hoped I’d find you here.”
“Why aren’t you back with Helling?” I asked.
“They sent us away. Miller wanted to talk
with Helling alone. But that’s not important. You can get her to Kenton safely?”
“Yes.”
“And Kenton is safe? She’ll be with you and your folks?”
“I… both of them are gone. But she’ll be with me.”
“Good. I just want you to take her. Make sure she’s safe.”
“Lexi, if you wanted—“
“No! No. I belong here now. I’d be too scared to leave. Too scared of more change.”
“It’d be okay, Lexi.”
“No, David. That’s my answer. You’re dead to me. I don’t mean it in a cruel way, it’s just something I accepted a long time ago. You can’t be part of my life anymore, because that part of me is dead. It died when you did. I can’t bring it back. But you can give Emma a good life. You can take her and keep her safe. Right?”
“Yes. I can.”
“Good,” she said. She smiled and I could see tears form in her eyes. “Good. You take her then.”
Lexi slipped back into the doorway and I listened to her footsteps fade away.
I fought the tears in my eyes. Lexi was gone. As dead to me as I was to her. I lost her nine months ago, but at least I had the chance to say goodbye in a way.
“Daddy?” Emma asked. “Are you crying?”
Her faced was still streaked with tears and her eyes were puffy and red.
“Yes, baby. I’m just so glad to have you back and safe.”
“I’m glad, too.”
She was wearing a thin winter coat and had a ripped up backpack loaded down with things in her left hand. She carried another bag in her right hand which overflowed.
“Let me get some of this stuff in my pack.”
I slung my backpack off and took the things out of the bag she was carrying. At the bottom of the bag was an old, stained teddy bear I recognized.
“Do you want to carry Boo?” I asked.
She laughed at me. “I’m seventeen, Daddy. I’m too old to carry a teddy bear.”
“Okay, sweetie. I’ll put him in my pack and carry him for you.”
She kissed me on the cheek. “Thank you.”
We met the others back at the main entrance.
“You ready to go?” Ted asked.
“Yeah, we’re ready.”
I turned to Terry. “Tell Alan, thanks again for this.”
“I will. You be safe, but he’s serious. He wants you to head home. Deliver the message at the base and keep going south.”
We left Geneva and Lexi behind.
“Remember how you always wanted to go camping?” I asked Emma about an hour down the road.
“Sure. I always wanted to sleep out under the stars and roast marshmallows over a fire.”
“I don’t know if I can find you any marshmallows, but you’ll get plenty of sleeping outside for a good long while.”
“Will it be cold?”
“Yes, sweetie, but we’ll make a fire every night and tell stories until we fall asleep.”
“Sounds fun, Dad.” She squeezed my hand as we walked along the highway.
We camped that night along the road to DeKalb and entered the city the next day. In the marketplace, we bought Emma a good coat and a solid backpack for the trip south.
“Nana will like this coat,” said Emma. “She always has great taste in clothes.”
“Sweetie,” I said. “We lost Nana. And Papa.”
“Oh, Dad. I’m sorry,” she said. “So you’ve been all alone?”
“Papa passed last summer, but Nana was real sick. I had to stay and take care of her. When she passed away, I came to find you and Mom.”
“You should have come sooner,” she said. “I don’t blame you. But for the first month I watched every day for you to show up. Mom got mad and yelled at me. Told me I was stupid. That you were dead. After a while, I believed it. So many people died. I thought I would any day.”
I just squeezed her hand as we walked on. I didn’t know how I could make it up to her. I should have left sooner.
The next night around the fire Ted read out of his book of mythology. Emma was delighted in the stories and started asking Ted and Anne about themselves.
The third night she looked at Anne as we settled in.
“Is she your girlfriend?” Emma whispered to me.
I froze. I didn’t know what to say.
“I thought she was Ted’s girlfriend, but she’s not. I think she likes you.”
“Would it bother you if I had a girlfriend?”
“No. It’s not like Mom cares. And we won’t ever be back in Chicago again.”
“What do you think of Anne?” I asked.
“I don’t know.”
“She has horses.”
Emma smiled. “I like her a little better now.”
The next day Ted showed Emma how to use the binoculars. Anne looked at me and smiled.
“I heard your little conversation last night,” she said.
“Oh,” I responded.
“You asked her if she had a problem, but I think the bigger question is would you have a problem.”
“I don’t think I want a girlfriend.”
Anne swung her fist at me. I knew she would and caught her wrist.
“I want a wife.”
I pulled her into me and gave her a kiss.
“I think Dad has a girlfriend,” said Emma as she and Ted looked back at us.
“That was a lousy thing to do, David,” said Anne. “You realize that kiss was a promise.”
“I do,” I said.
That night I fell asleep next to my daughter with my girlfriend curled up in my arms. I dreamt of picnics and fields. Of ice cream and parties. And Anne and Emma were with me laughing and smiling.
For the next week, I was in bliss. I had my daughter back and she was overjoyed to be traveling with us. She and Anne talked a lot, often out of earshot, but I heard most of their conversations from one or both of them separately.
The travel was much slower, though. Emma just couldn’t keep the pace which we were used to, and we often started an hour or two after sunrise and stopped in the mid-afternoon.
A late winter warm spell gave us hints of the spring to come and we walked in comfort for the most part.
But Ted had started to pull away. Each day he spoke less and worried more. I knew it was about Kenny. Ten days after we left Geneva, we reached Highway 136. We had the pass to travel Miller’s lands and walked openly down the road. We ran into two patrols and showed them the pass when they stopped us. They let us go without problem, but it was tense.
The third night we were in Miller’s land, I saw the power plant in the distance.
“What’s wrong?” Emma asked.
Ted and Anne had seen it too, and we had all stopped walking.
“That’s… We saw that place when we were heading north,” I said.
“Did something bad happen there?”
“Yes, sweetie. But nothing bad will happen this time.”
She took my hand and we continued on, though we were all silent until we found a place to camp for the night.
That night around the fire, Ted pulled out his book of mythology and read the story of Castor and Polydeuces which told of how Polydeuces loved his brother so much, he gave up half of his immortality to give Castor his life back.
The stars were out in full force and Ted pointed in the night sky.
“That’s the constellation of Gemini,” he said. “There are Castor and Pollux, his Roman name. Brothers who loved each other and shared their fate with each other. Always together.”
Ted just stared at the stars for a while.
Emma and Anne whispered together that night and I fell asleep while they talked.
“David. David, wake up.”
I saw Ted motion to me. Emma and Anne were both still asleep.
“What is it?” I whispered through a yawn. If there was something dangerous, he would have woken all of us.
He didn’t say anything, he just motioned me to follow and wal
ked off from camp.
I pulled myself up, careful not to disturb the women, and followed him away from the low glow of the dying embers of the fire.
It was a good fifty feet before he stopped.
“Why are you geared up?” I asked. He was wearing his pack and had a rifle in his hand.
“I’m going to find Kenny,” he said. “Miller said they were holding him until he got back and decided what to do. I’m going to see if I can find out where he is and get him back.”
“Alan may see it as stepping on his hospitality,” I said. “Might be safer to just let him make up his own mind.”
“Safer for me, but not Kenny. I owe him too much not to try and get him out.”
I nodded. “I understand. What do you want me to tell Sophia?”
“Tell her we’ll be back soon. Something came up and Kenny wanted to help someone. She’ll believe that.”
“She will. That’s like Kenny.”
“I’ll be back, trust me. And I’ll do everything I can to bring Kenny back with me.”
I nodded as he smiled at me in the dim starlight.
“I will, Ted. Thank you. For everything. From the day of the event, I’ve been in your debt. More now than ever.”
“You go build a new life, David. I’ll be there soon to see it myself.”
Ted turned and walked south. In a mile or so, he would hit the interstate and be on his way into Springfield to try and find Kenny. I watched him go, and then listened for his movement as the darkness swallowed him. After a few minutes, I went back to our campsite and laid down between Emma and Anne.
I woke to the sound of Anne and Emma whispering.
“Ted’s gone,” Anne said as I sat up.
“Yeah, he left last night.”
I stood and stretched my arms up.
“Why?” asked Emma. “Is something wrong?”
“No, sweetie. Our friend Kenny might be in trouble and Ted decided it would be best if he tried to get Kenny out of the jam he’s in.”
“Oh,” said Emma. “We’re just going to go on without him?”
I walked over to her and hugged her. I looked at Anne who smiled back at me.
“Yes, sweetie. Just a few more days and we will make it to the air base. I’ll send a message to Kenton and let them know what’s happening.”