by Violet Paige
“Hey, I’m not a fish.” The skin on his chest felt warm from the sun and I tasted a hint of salt on his lips as he kissed me. He gripped my thighs, tugging me closer to him. I sighed. My heart was definitely falling for this boy—one spring break kiss at a time.
I wasn’t sure how ten days passed so quickly. Last Thursday night felt like a lifetime ago. During the course of the week, we had ordered take out from all the island restaurants that were open, combed the beach for every shell possible, watched an entire season of The Walking Dead, learned we were evenly matched at poker, soaked in the hot tub until we looked like raisins, tuned in for Love Match, watched the entire ACC basketball tournament, and my favorite, discovered shower sex was our best achievement of the week.
I closed the trunk after Beau lowered in my suitcase.
“You’re all set. I’m going to go run through the house one more time before I leave and make sure everything is turned off. I’ll probably pass you on the road.” He winked.
“Back to reality, huh?”
“Or is it?” He mocked and I could tell he was trying to make me laugh.
“Beau, how are we going to do this when we get back to Chapel Hill?” Just the thought of leaving the beach house and the week we had behind was creating panic. My palms felt sweaty. Couldn’t we lock ourselves inside? I was certain I could survive without any doses of the outside world. All I needed was Beau.
“We’re going to figure it out. We’ve got a date tomorrow night to watch Love Match, right?”
“I can’t tomorrow night. Rehearsals start up for the new play. See, this is already complicated?”
“Hold on. It’s not complicated. Change of plans, that’s all. We’ll figure it out. Be careful going home. I’ll call you later.” Before I could protest and trap him into a more detailed discussion, he kissed me on the forehead and ushered me into my car.
I backed out of the driveway and watched Beau climbing the stairs two at a time. I exhaled. This was going to work. He said we’d figure it out. I blasted the radio and pointed my car toward Chapel Hill.
Twenty minutes into the drive, my phone buzzed. I pressed the button on my steering wheel. “Miss me?” I used my lowest, huskiest voice.
“Yeah, I do, but wow, not like that.” Nina was giggling on the other end of the phone. “Is that how you talk to your grandpa?” She was laughing hysterically.
Shit. “Oh, hey, Nina. I knew it was you—just messing with you.”
“Liar.”
Did she know where I had been shacking up for ten days?
“So, how are the grandparents? You had to have the most boring spring break in the history of spring breaks. I can’t wait to see you! When are you getting back?”
Relieved but also filled with regret, I spoke into the car’s mic. “Everyone’s good. It wasn’t that boring.” An image of a shirtless and shower-soaked Beau flashed through my mind. “Um. I’m on the road now, so you’ll see me soon.”
“Good. I can’t believe we didn’t talk all week. It was as if we were in a time warp or something. Have you heard from Candace?”
I hadn’t heard from anyone. “No. Didn’t she say she and Pearce were flying back from the Bahamas tonight?”
“I can’t keep track of their schedule anymore. Be careful. See you for dinner.”
“Bye.”
I disconnected the call and focused on the road ahead of me. All I wanted to do was to tell Nina about the incredible week I had spent with Beau, but we had pinned ourselves into a corner.
10
“Welcome back, everyone. It seems you managed to heed my sun care advice.” Professor Garcia scrutinized the first rows of students. “Spring break is over though. We only have another five weeks of classes before your projects are due and the semester is over. Time flies around here! So let’s get to it. Today we are going to talk about Cultivation Theory.” The professor waltzed over to her smart board and tapped out highlighted words on the screen.
I stared at the screen then at the blank page of my notebook. I should be taking notes and analyzing every part of the discussion on the perceptions of social reality, but the empty seat next to me was more distracting. Why wasn’t Beau in class?
“Yes! That is exactly it. Perception becomes reality.” Professor Garcia beamed at Chuck Adams. I had missed everything Chuck said.
I watched as his partner, Meredith, smiled during the outburst of praise from Garcia. It was almost as if she was proud of him. Like he was more than her Comm partner. I tried to remember what reality show they had drawn.
In the row just below me, June leaned over and whispered in Ben’s ear. He playfully squeezed her leg before returning to his negligent note taking. What in the hell was going on? Did everyone hook up over spring break?
A flash of Beau hovering over me with that killer smile shot through my mind. Had it been three days since he had me pinned under him at the beach house? That seemed like way too much time to endure without kissing him or feeling his hands roaming my skin. I blushed and buried my face behind my long hair. It was silly to think my classmates could read my thoughts, but my feelings for Beau were spiraling beyond my control. What happened between us during spring break had made sure of that.
“See everyone on Thursday.” Professor Garcia cut the power to the smart board. “London, would you mind giving me just a minute?” The rest of the class looked at me like a criminal in a lineup, but continued to file out of the room.
There was nowhere to hide. Not behind Beau’s arms, or behind the other students. I was in this alone. I collected my backpack and made my way to the bottom of the classroom.
I looked at her red cowboy boots. They matched her hoop earrings perfectly. “You wanted to speak with me?”
“Yes. Yes. I was hoping I could speak with you and Beau together. This involves him too.” She coughed into her sleeve.
My stomach was heaving back and forth. She had to know. Someone had probably spotted Beau and me on spring break, although we spent most of our time inside. Professor Garcia knew our project was a complete phony.
“I’m sorry, professor. I don’t know where Beau is. We could wait and talk on Thursday?” Stalling didn’t make much sense, but I didn’t want to face the firing squad alone.
“Why don’t we chat, and then you can talk to him?” She had me cornered.
I tried to smile and push down the sudden urge to throw up in the auditorium.
“Your blog has been the talk of campus. That’s an understatement. It has been the talk of every online communication theory group I’m in.” I didn’t want to interrupt her to ask what an online communication theory group was. “Anyway, London, you and Beau have come up with something that is so unique you are getting national attention in the communication theory community.” Her voice sounded scratchy.
My eyebrows reached the top of my forehead. What was she saying?
“I can’t tell you how many other professors have emailed me about your project. Now, I know it isn’t finished, but I want to present it at the national higher education conference this summer in Orlando.” Her coughing fit escalated. “I’m sorry. I think I might be coming down with something. Not enough sleep over spring break.” She tried to laugh. “But back to you and the research—”
I was speechless.
“I know you and Beau are graduating and I’m not asking you to take on additional work. But, I wanted to ask you two if you would hand over your research at the end of the semester and let me publish your findings. I’ll list you both as contributors, of course.”
This was bad. Very bad. Shit. I needed Beau’s calm and casual attitude. He could handle any intense situation. “I-I don’t know what to say.”
“I know. It’s a huge honor for undergraduates. I’m sure you and Beau can appreciate how unusual it is to be a part of a national-level publication.”
“Professor Garcia, I have to talk to Beau about this. I can’t answer for him.”
“Of course not.” She waved
her hand in the air. “I would expect nothing less from you, London.”
I bit hard on my bottom lip. I couldn’t think of a way to squash her idea. Instead, I started walking toward the exit at the top of the stairs.
“Oh, and, London, between you and me, you’ve done an amazing job on the project considering who you are working with.”
I turned in her direction, trying to hide the sudden anger that had just surfaced in my eyes. “What do you mean, Professor?”
She laughed. “It can’t be easy going on dates with someone like him. You’re so artistic and gifted. I didn’t expect anything to develop with you two; he isn’t exactly unique. However, you’ve done the best with an unusual situation. I can’t wait for the final project.”
If I had a dagger in my backpack, I probably would have aimed it at her hideous boots. I smiled sweetly before leaving. “Thank you, Professor. We won’t disappoint you.”
She didn’t know him the way I did. No one did.
Finally, alone in the corridor of Manning Hall, I pulled out my phone to text my un-unique-fake-not-fake boyfriend.
I felt like a mall walker hurriedly racing past row after row of towering bookshelves. Davis Library was nothing if not a labyrinth. It had been months since I had navigated the floors of periodicals and stressed out studying students. But after several rounds of cryptic texts, Beau had convinced me to meet him in one of the library’s eighth floor study rooms.
There was a man sleeping on one of the couches, but I didn’t see anyone else as I charged to room 8052, the study cube Beau had reserved. I tapped on the door then pushed it forward, walking into a dark cubicle.
“Beau?” I called into the tiny study space. The door slammed behind me. I felt strong and determined arms encircle my waist as he backed me against the door.
“I missed you.” He growled into my ear before descending on my mouth. He grabbed under my bottom and hitched my legs around his waist. This was unreal.
I tasted his lips. “Have you been drinking?” I tried to pull back, but he was working his way down my neck and I was melting in his hands.
Then, I remembered we were in the library. Mustering a little more strength, I unlocked myself from his grip.
“Beau? What’s going on? Are you drunk? Don’t you have an exam?”
I felt his breath on my neck as my eyes started to adjust to the darkness of the study room.
“Yeah. Bucket list.”
“What are you talking about?” I was trying to pace my breathing. Three days without kissing Beau was definitely too many.
“Take an exam drunk, which I’m getting ready to do, and kiss a girl in Davis Library, which I just did. Check and check.”
I slugged him in the arm. “You lured me up here to mark something off your list?”
“Ouch, London.” He grabbed his bicep. “You didn’t seem to mind a second ago.” His lips nuzzled under my jaw, and his hand slipped between the space under the small of my back and my jeans.
“Wait a second. You’re going to take an exam drunk? Are you crazy?”
“Don’t worry. I studied while you were in Comm 224, then I started drinking.”
I couldn’t stop the small moan that surfaced, but I could stop him. “Beau. I need to get you coffee or something. You can’t go to class like this.”
“Stop, London. It’s on my list. I’m going to do fine.” No doubt he would ace an exam in seduction, but how could he pass a history exam like this?
“Ok. But let me at least walk with you to class?” I clasped my hands around his waist and pulled him closer to me.
“Ok, movie star. You can walk with me, but that means we have to leave this dark room, and I don’t think I’m ready to do that.” I yielded to him as his lips crushed mine.
Ok, we could stay a few more minutes.
Walking with Beau across campus, I felt like everyone was watching us. It was probably because his attempt to walk in a straight line was failing miserably. I had to keep from giggling, and from grabbing him in front of everyone.
“What did I miss with the nutty professor today?” Beau was focused on the brick pavement under his feet.
“A new theory. The usual.” I decided this was not the time to talk to him about Professor Garcia’s request. He needed every functioning brain cell to remember what happened during World War II. I wasn’t going to cloud his thoughts with this problem. I could do that later.
He stopped in front of Hamilton Hall. “Wish me luck.” He smiled and I recognized the heated look in his eyes. He leaned toward me.
“Beau.” I darted back, so his lips missed mine. I eyed the students walking past us.
“Oh yeah. The secret.” He held his finger to his lips. “It’s hard not to kiss you, you know?”
I smiled. I did know. His lips were all I could think about. “Good luck on your drunk exam.” I waved as he tried not to stumble up the stairs. “I’ll meet you here when you’re finished.”
I looked at my phone. I had plenty of time to stop by the theater before his exam was over. I was sure Nina would need my help with costumes. We hadn’t had a chance to catch up since spring break. I would do my best to avoid made-up grandparent stories.
“London! You’re here.” Candace and Nina squealed in unison. I felt like I had missed out on an important roommate memo seeing the girls together in the basement. I walked over to join them on the couch.
“What are you working on?”
“Did Derek call you?” Nina looked concerned.
“No, why?”
My roommates exchanged nervous glances. “Well, he decided to cancel Winged Angst. He wrote something completely new over spring break.” Nina broke the news.
“Is he crazy?” This was unheard of. Derek might be a creative genius, but this was taking things too far.
Candace stood and handed me a copy of the play. I read the title out loud. “Betray Me.” I looked at my friends. “Are you two ok with this?”
Before Nina answered, I knew exactly what her answer would be. She would throw her full support behind anything Derek suggested. “It’s really good, London. Just read it.”
“But we already started promoting Winged Angst and we rehearsed it. Shouldn’t we get to vote or something?” I thought about all of the hours I had wasted on a play that wouldn’t see the stage. Nights I had missed watching Love Match with Beau, dates I had to skip, hours I wasn’t making my final Carolina memories, moments I couldn’t get back.
“Derek was worried you might be upset, but he says this part is perfect for you. Better than Winged Angst.” Nina was still playing the role of Derek expert. “Really, he said he was going to call you.”
“I think I’ll pass.” I handed the script back to Candace, who took it reluctantly.
“What? You’re kidding, right?” Nina was visibly shocked.
It was a slow surge, but I felt the confidence in my decision spread through my body and root in my heart. “No. It’s not a joke. I’m going to focus on other things for the rest of the semester. Things not related to Encore.”
“What other things? Beau and your fake dates?”
I had to tread lightly. I had promised Beau I wouldn’t breathe a word to either of the girls. “I do have the project and the rehearsals interfere with the dates, but that’s not all. I want to do something else before I graduate. I’ve been buried in this basement for four years. I only have five weeks until the end of the semester; I need more than this.”
I thought Candace might start crying. “London, but we need you. You’re the lead actress. This is what you do; we’re counting on you.”
“Maybe if Derek hadn’t scrapped Winged Angst, but I can’t imagine starting over right now.” They were disappointed, but I knew I was freeing myself. I had to do it. “Candace, you have Pearce, and Nina you are all tied up with Derek and whatever play he is working on. Don’t you think I deserve to have something else too?”
Nina was relentless. “Does that mean something is going on w
ith you and Beau?”
“Nina, stop. I just don’t want to do this play. Betray Me is for some other worthy actress, not me.”
She looked defeated. “I can’t believe this. I never thought it would end like this.” She wiped back a sliver of a tear. “Ok. Ok. If you think this is what is best for you, then you know I’m behind you, London, a hundred and ten percent. But I think you should tell Derek yourself. I’m not breaking this news to him.”
I wrapped my friends in a big circle hug.
“Sure. Whatever you need me to do, but this girl is not going to be in Betray Me.”
I walked out of the theater basement for possibly the last time as an actress. It felt good. I looked over at the planetarium building across the parking lot. I hid an inner giggle, thinking about the burning picnic basket on the roof. Since January, I had experienced more Carolina moments with Beau than I had in the previous three and a half years on my own. Sure, I had dated. I even had a few boyfriends over the semesters, but the artistic type are moody at times, and like me, they just wanted to go to the theater, film festivals, and rent classic movies. For the first time, I was a stereotypical, normal, everyday Carolina student—and it was awesome.
I texted Beau on my way to Hamilton Hall. Surely, he was finished with his drunken exam. I couldn’t wait to tell him about my decision.
Are you done?
Yep. Just waiting on a pretty girl.
He always had the best texts. I sighed.
He was leaning against the handrail when I walked into his view. My first instinct was to run and jump into his muscular arms, but this damn charade we had created for class kept me from doing anything that looked like a girl in love. In love?
“How was the exam?” I stayed a few feet away.
“Nailed it.” He was oozing with confidence or maybe some leftover drunkenness.
“Really?” I didn’t believe him.
“Why not. I know all the details about Pearl Harbor. I even wrote an essay about Japanese concentration camps in the U.S. I think I filled the entire blue book.”