The Space Between (The Book of Phoenix)

by Kristie Cook

  When the tears flowed for him while I showered, though, I felt it. His sorrow and grief and pain and anger at everything he’d been through had become mine, too. My heart pulled it in, sharing his burden, hurting on his behalf. He’d felt my heartache, pain, and disappointment, too, and he’d already told me he loved me.

  In fact, he’d known long before learning our history together. Several days ago he’d said something about “the only other girl I loved.” His sister was one. He knew then I was the other.

  I finished my shower and threw on a tank and skimpy shorts. I didn’t have lingerie, but it’s not like I knew how to go about this anyway. I couldn’t imagine throwing myself at him, although I knew he’d gladly catch me. When I came out of the bedroom and saw him sitting on the futon petting Ghost—everything I’d thrown around yesterday picked up and put away—I became a ball of nerves. He eyed me before getting up and, without a word, walked past to take a shower, too. By the time he came out, wearing only jeans, I’d nearly talked myself out of it. My body trembled with a mix of desire and fear.

  His expression flickered, and he must have known everything going through my mind. He smiled.

  “I can still be patient,” he signed.

  I nodded, although I didn’t want him to be patient. I wanted to be with him. But adrenaline raced through my veins, making me edgy. Jumpy. I couldn’t imagine letting him touch me in this state.

  I needed to dance. To shut my stupid brain down and let my body do its thing.

  “We forgot to check on my truck this morning,” I said.

  He nodded then pulled his shirt over his head. “I’ll go.”

  As soon as he was gone, I could finally breathe again. I connected my iPod to the docking station and turned up the volume, not caring that unlike at the lake, there were people around here. I was done caring about what they thought. In fact, the louder I cranked the music, the better. My body did what it loved to do, twisting and turning, swinging and gyrating to the beat, and my mind did what I loved it to do—lose itself.

  I swung around to once again find Jeric standing in the doorway. His eyes smoldered, and his tongue swiped across his lips. Like last time, I froze. He shook his head and held his cell phone against his chest, the screen facing me with a text message already typed out: “Don’t stop. Ever.”

  Right. Remembering how he’d reacted last time, I began moving again. He sauntered toward me as his fingers moved over his phone’s screen. He held it out for me to read again:

  “If I could hear one more time for only a minute, it would be right now, to hear the music that makes your body move in that way.”

  Heat exploded within me. A small smile played on my lips as I moved my body to the music and pointed at the iPod’s screen: Closer by Nine Inch Nails.

  “Do you remember it?” I asked.

  He closed his eyes and fell to his knees at my feet.

  “You’re fucking killing me,” he signed before clasping my waist with his hands, pressing his forehead against my midriff and feeling the music through me as I danced for him.

  He must have known when the song changed by my movements, because he reached up and pressed the back button to replay Closer. The ten seconds his hand had left my body were ten seconds too long. A thrill ran through every nerve when it returned to my hip and pushed my tank top up just enough to rest on my bare skin. He pushed the other side up, too, exposing a strip between my belly button and the waistband of my shorts. A small moan escaped my throat when his lips touched me there, and I was glad he couldn’t hear, because I would have died of embarrassment. But then I felt his tongue, and if he hadn’t had such a tight grip on my waist, I would have melted into the floor.

  He pulled back and looked up at me, and I realized I’d stopped dancing. Keep going, his eyes pled. I’d always thought this song to be one of the sexiest tunes ever, but sexy took on a new meaning when I danced with Jeric’s hands and lips and tongue on me. He slid his hands up, pushing my top with them, his mouth following slowly behind until his fingers reached my bra. He held my top there, exposing less than a bikini would, and he continued kissing every inch of my stomach and ribs, moving with me as I barely writhed against him, no longer able to dance. Barely able to keep myself vertical.

  By the time the song finished its second run, I could no longer feel the cool air from the air conditioning unit on top of the camper, too hot and flushed and thinking, too many clothes. I have too many clothes on. I reached for the hem of my top, and pulled it over my head, but the fire burning within me only grew hotter as Jeric continued to kiss me. His hands slid up my bare back as he rose to his feet, his eyes locked on mine, drowning me once again.

  He grabbed my waist once more and lifted me to the counter to put us at eye level, then he placed a hand on the counter at each side of my hips and leaned his head to mine. His lips pressed lightly against my forehead, and then to each temple, and then down my nose. Light kisses landed on my cheeks, on the corners of my mouth, up along my jawline. His breath in my ear as he gently sucked my lobe lit my whole body. My thighs clenched, and my legs locked around his waist. He moaned against my neck as his lips and tongue trailed soft but passionate kisses from one side to the other. I suddenly needed his mouth on mine.

  I placed my hands on each side of his face and brought him up so he was only inches from my mouth. I looked into his eyes, now my turn to plead. His gaze fell on my lips.

  “Kiss me,” I mouthed, and I licked my lips slowly.

  His eyes heated even more as something inside him seemed to break. He grasped my face, and we held onto each other tightly as his mouth covered mine. I immediately parted my lips for him, inhaling his breath, trying to drink him in, to pull his soul into mine. His tongue darted in, brushed against mine, lightly at first and then more forcefully. My tongue met his every movement as we explored each other’s mouths for what might have been hours. Then his lips grasped my bottom one and he sucked, sending a spark to every nerve ending in my body until I thought I would explode. I returned the favor, and he moaned aloud.

  I’d somehow ended up nearly on my elbows on the hard counter, which made me practically out of reach even as he pressed against me. I pulled myself up as best as I could, wrapped my arms around his neck and tightened my legs at his waist. He took the hint and lifted me, his hands on my butt and our mouths never separating as he carried me into the bedroom. We crashed together on the mattress, and his body pressed against me and, oh my God, there was way too much fabric between us. I reached to his back and tugged at his shirt, pulling it up to his shoulders, hating that his mouth had to leave mine so he could pull the shirt over his head, and grateful when it returned.

  He held himself up on his forearms, which was too far away from me. I slid my hands under his arms and over his shoulders and pulled him down. His body welded to mine, and I felt every bit of him, including his erection through his jeans. He moved his hips, pressing it harder against me, and my head rolled back as I let out a gasp. Unable to reach my mouth now, his lips moved to my chin, my jawline, down to my neck as he once again explored every inch of it. Then he kissed along my collarbone, his nose brushing along the top of it, his breath hot as he panted against me.

  When he reached my bra strap, he pushed it down to my bicep with a finger, his mouth never leaving my skin. He shifted his body to the side, only half on top of me now, but never allowing any space between us. His hand came to my stomach and slid to my side. His fingers pressed deeper as his mouth moved to the rise of my breast and kissed along the top of my bra. I arched against him, wanting him to continue, but he didn’t. He looked up at me, asking for permission. As if I hadn’t just tried to give it.

  “I want you . . . to,” I said with my mouth, hoping he understood. “I want you to . . . do everything.”

  He sat up on his knees, straddling me, and his gaze traveled from my eyes to my lips
to my breasts and lower. A storm broke out in his eyes as if he were waging some inner battle.

  “I want to do right by you,” he signed. “I just don’t know if I can.”

  “You can,” I replied. “I trust you. This is right. It’s meant to be. We’re meant to be together, as one.”

  He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. As rough as he looked, he possessed a dangerous beauty, like that of a majestic lion or a sleek jaguar. I lifted my hands to his perfectly sculpted abs and reached up as far as I could to his chest, then slid them slowly back down and curled my fingers under the waistband of his jeans. His eyes finally opened, and if possible, they were full of even more desire than before.

  “I’ll take it slow,” he promised me.

  “You don’t have to.” Slow sounded good, but I didn’t think I had the patience.

  “I want to.” His eyes caressed my body again, and they may as well have been his lips or tongue the way my body reacted. My heart, already pounding, flew into a gallop. “I want to know every bit of you on the outside before I feel you on the inside.”

  Oh, God. I imagined his sexy voice saying the words as he signed them, and was surprised my panties didn’t singe right off of me. I leaned up on my elbows and reached behind me to undo the bra clasp. When he saw the bra loosen, he slid his hands under the straps and pulled it off.

  “Oh, fuck, Leni,” his lips mouthed before he fell against me and his mouth was all over me.

  On my shoulder, my collarbone, my chest, my breast. He wrapped his lips around as much of my breast as he could and sucked my nipple inside, his tongue caressing it until chills swept over me. My pelvis jerked, and I felt his hardness, so I ground myself against him. He moaned over my breast, and finally let it go. But he kept me enraptured, wanting more.

  He didn’t falter on his promise. Although we moved sometimes painfully slow as he got to know every bit of me and I of him, it wasn’t without passion. Our eyes and fingers and mouths explored, tasting and sucking, making each other writhe and ache for more. He kissed me all the way to my shorts and slowly slid them off, but left my panties on as he moved farther down, all the way to my toes on one foot, then back up the other leg. Another wave overcame me as he sucked on the inside of my thigh and my pelvis bucked again.

  Before I let him in my panties, though, I returned the favor of being tortured. I clasped his face in my hands and sat up, bringing him up with me. Then I traced his face, his jaw, his neck, his shoulders with my lips. I pushed him to his back as I made my way over his chest, to the piercings that so infatuated me. I hesitated, studying one as I wondered what on earth they did for him, why he would do such a thing. Because it looked sexy as hell? Or was there more? I lowered my mouth and tasted one with my tongue. Jeric moaned quietly. I caressed it harder, and he moaned louder. I pulled the ring and his nipple along with it into my mouth, and he bucked against me, his hands clamping hard on my ass. Ah. That’s why.

  I drove him into a wild frenzy, exactly as he’d done to me, spending lots of time with those piercings, but also moving down. First my eyes and then my mouth appreciated every hill and valley of his muscular landscape, down to his hips until they disappeared behind his jeans. When my fingers clasped his button and my lips pressed against the skin right above it, his erection jumped against my chest, straining against the denim. Before I could free him, though, he sat up and pulled me into his arms.

  I sat in his lap, straddling him and grinding against him as our mouths met again. We spent the entire afternoon kissing and exploring, our bodies heating and aching even more. We moved and shifted, teased and taunted. He ended up behind me, pushing the curls away so he could kiss my neck and shoulders. One hand kneaded my breast, and the other palmed my stomach, his fingers barely under my panties, slowly moving side to side. He pulled me to the edge of the bed, and I sat on my knees as he stood behind me. His hands left my body, and I missed them already, but I could hear him taking his jeans off.

  I turned and lay on my back, waiting for him. Watching as he rose to his full height—all of him. My belly and thighs quivered at the thought of that inside me.

  “You’re still okay?” he asked me, and I nodded.

  With a sharp exhale, he moved himself over me, then leaned back on his knees as his fingers glided under my panties. With hooded eyes, he gazed at my body as he slid the last piece of fabric either of us wore down, over my knees, off of my ankles. He teased me some more with his lips on my face, my neck, my chest, setting me on fire. Time passed. The room darkened with the sunset before he finally reached for his wallet and pulled out a condom. Something deep within my belly clenched with anticipation. He moved between my legs and hovered over me, his eyes asking me once again. My hands grabbed his ass, and I lifted my hips in answer.

  I cried out when he first entered, although I expected the pain. He carefully moved inside of me, every one of my muscles clenched around him, then slowly stroked back and forth until I eventually relaxed and the pain turned to pleasure. We fell into a rhythm, rocking against each other, our moves becoming faster until we almost reached the brink. Then he’d shift us, turn us, put us into a new position, and start slow again, building up, up, up. He moved on top of me again and my legs braced against his shoulders and he pushed into me and I might have screamed as a wave of pure and unadulterated bliss washed over me. I shuddered even as I rocked against him. He drove into me again, harder and deeper. My world shattered. My body disintegrated.

  I fell apart beneath him, but at the same time, I exploded outward, as if escaping the confines of my body. Jeric shouted as he exploded, too. Our souls soared, collided, combined, melded into each other. We hovered over the bed, still feeling the sensation of our bodies physically connected below us, but . . .

  Oh.

  My.

  God.

  The physical sensation didn’t compare. Nothing on earth could possibly compare. Euphoria like no other as our souls united, reunited, became one again.

  I never knew how much I missed him, that a part of me, a huge part, was even gone until now.

  Chapter 34

  Holy. Fucking. Shit.

  The sensation of our joined bodies felt distant, on the far edge of any consciousness I still held onto. Our energies tangled together in the air as we hovered above the physical world below. That’s what I felt more than anything—Leni’s soul woven into mine. And nothing could have felt more right.

  “Is this normal?”

  I felt the question more than heard it, the words reverberating through us, so I didn’t know if I heard Leni’s real voice or not, but I could listen to its angelic quality forever. Damn. I could hear her. Feel her. Whatever.

  “Hell no,” I answered, and her energy within me sparked brightly at the sound of my “voice.” Or the feel of it. Again, whatever. “This is all about me and you. Us.”

  “I could stay like this forever,” she said with a sigh of pleasure that coursed through us.

  I tried to move us, willing our energy to the right, to snag a better look at our bodies. They appeared to be frozen in place. A slight tug came from my physical body, as though if I tried to go too far, it would yank my soul back into it.

  “Wow. Look at us,” Leni said.

  I chuckled. “We look sexy as hell. Especially you. That look on your face . . .”

  The feeling of embarrassment ran through us. “Well, you are screwing me out of my mind. Literally.”

  “No, Leni. I’m making love to you.”

  Her energy heated around and through me. “This is the most amazing feeling. Ever. Will it always be like this between us?”

  “I fucking hope so.”

  We studied ourselves for a moment longer.

  “Should we go back?” Leni asked. “I really don’t want to.”

  “Mmm . . . it’s not nice to leave us like t
hat. We’re in the middle of the best part.”

  Her smile ran through me. “Exactly. I don’t want it to end.”

  “Nothing’s ending, babe. This is only the beginning.”

  I imagined wrapping my arms around her and pulling her into me, and our energies shifted, as if feeling my hug. Reluctantly, we disentangled our souls and slid into our bodies.

  “Oh, Jeric, yes!” Leni’s voice, like her soul’s but more real, screamed in my head. She clenched my cock inside her, making me come harder than I’d ever done before.

  Then we both collapsed.

  * * *

  Leni lay on her stomach, her face turned toward me, looking unbelievably sexy as she slept. Maybe because I knew she was naked under the sheet. The morning sun had woken me about an hour ago, but with only a break long enough to take a piss, I’d lain here watching her sleep the whole time. Whatever had happened last night had totally wiped us out. We’d slept for over twelve hours. And my body ached with the need to do it again.

  Please wake up soon, I thought, so I can make you come like that again.

  Her eyelids immediately popped open, her eyes wider than I’d ever seen. “Did you just say something?”

  I bolted upright, my own eyes widening. Because I’d heard her voice. Like last night, right when she came—not with my ears, but in my head.

  “I heard you,” I thought, and her face exploded with emotion as she sprang to her knees.