“I wreaked havoc? Surely you jest, Mr. Winslow. You are responsible for telling your mother those preposterous lies, sir.”
She had turned to face him, her intense blue eyes appearing almost black. A tinge of crimson highlighted her cheeks, and her bottom lip seemed to quiver as she stood before him. Once again he felt the undeniable urge to enfold her in his arms, cover her lips with his own, and promise her that everything would be fine. He lifted his finger and softly ran it down the side of her flushed cheek.
“You are so lovely,” he murmured.
“And you, sir, are a—“
“Don’t say anything you will regret,” he admonished, his finger coming to rest on her lips.
“I never regret the truth,” she sputtered around the index finger that he continued to press gently against her mouth.
“Why don’t we stroll over to the park, and I’ll explain this whole situation. I think our dilemma can be easily rectified.”
“I don’t appear to have much choice,” Hannah answered.
“You certainly aren’t the frail little thing I first thought,” he said, surprised by her strength as she attempted to free her arm from his grasp. “Please don’t be angry, Hannah, but when my mother told me the two of you were making plans for the journey, I had to think of something in a hurry.”
“And a big lie was the best you could do.”
“Well, she caught me off guard. I hadn’t planned to deceive her, but the thought of my mother traveling with us to Illinois—well, the idea was more than I wanted to even consider. Besides, our marrying isn’t such a bad idea.”
“Not such a bad idea? You truly think we should get married?”
He couldn’t help himself. He laughed. A long, boisterous guffaw that caused passersby to stop and stare.
“Would you please stop? People will think you crazy. Or worse yet,” Hannah argued, “they’ll think I’m crazy for being in the company of someone like you.” Finally, she stomped her foot. “Stop, William. Stop right now!”
Her tone warned that she would brook no nonsense. William immediately sobered and gazed deeply into her smoldering eyes. He knew that she was filled with anger, but her strong emotion made her only more beautiful. More desirable. More delightful. More the woman he had dreamed of all his life.
“Oh yes, Hannah. I truly know that we should marry. And the sooner the better,” he whispered, his voice husky with emotion.
“What has come over you, William? You make no sense whatsoever. Your mother has agreed to accompany us. Surely you find that more tolerable than entering into a marriage charade,” she replied.
He continued to hold her gaze. He felt frozen in place; not a muscle twitched, not a sound penetrated his hearing except for the sweet sound of her voice.
“But don’t you see? Our marriage wouldn’t be a charade, Hannah. I want to marry you, to be your husband, to be Elizabeth’s father. Do you find that so hard to believe?”
Now Hannah burst into laughter, clapping her hands together as she exclaimed, “Oh, that was excellent, William. You should take up a career on the stage. Why, even your mother would have believed that little speech—I know I almost did,” she continued, dabbing at her eyes with a linen handkerchief as she began to regain her composure.
“You think my words were all for show—a performance? That I was merely concocting a speech to impress you with my acting ability?”
“Or ability to deceive, if you prefer,” she answered. “In any event, there’s no need for this foolishness to go any further. Your mother wants to accompany us, and that takes care of any impropriety in our travel arrangements. That is, if you still intend to accompany me.”
“Of course I intend to accompany you. But my mother traveling with us doesn’t take care of everything. I told her we plan to be married, and she expects a wedding to occur. I know you don’t want to disappoint her. She has grown so fond of you and Elizabeth,” he continued.
“Please don’t exaggerate, William. She’s only known us two days.”
“Perhaps, but you must admit that she dotes on Elizabeth, and she’s told me she thinks you’re remarkable—and quite beautiful. We’re in agreement over those facts,” he added with a smile.
She hesitated momentarily and then met his gaze, her eyes serious. “William, even if I were to believe the things you’ve said, which I don’t, you must realize that after one arranged marriage, I’d be a fool to jump into another. Do youremember that night on board ship when you approached me and asked if I was contemplating jumping overboard?”
He nodded. “I remember.”
“Just before you spoke to me, I had removed my wedding band and dropped it into the water alongside the ship. My fervent hope was that it would wash into the very depths of the ocean. I wanted nothing that symbolized my loveless marriage; I was arriving in a free land where I had the right to prayerfully make my own decisions. Freedom! You can’t possibly understand what that word means to me, William. You’ve never been bound in cruelty to another.”
“But, Hannah, this is completely different. It was your father who made the arrangements with that heinous Edward Falcrest. Surely you don’t place me in the same category as your dead husband! I’m a good man, Hannah, although I must admit you’re probably hard-pressed to believe that since I’ve seen fit to show you my worst characteristics in the past two days.”
“So telling—“
“Stretching the truth,” he interrupted.
“I see. So stretching the truth is your worst vice, William?”
“Well, I’m not in the habit of stretching the truth. That seems to have come upon me in full measure only since I’ve made your acquaintance. However, I’m not sure how the good Lord categorizes vices. I tend to believe that a vice is a vice, and He frowns upon all of them. But I’d like to think that most of my habits are pleasing to God.”
“I believe you’re a good man, William. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have been so kind to Elizabeth and me. And I genuinely appreciate all you’ve done for us. But marriage…”
“Don’t say anything just yet, Hannah. Would you at least just think about my proposal? Better yet, would you pray about becoming my wife?”
“We’d better be getting back. I’m sure your mother has grown tired of being a nursemaid to Elizabeth.”
“Hannah?”
“Yes, William, I promise I’ll think about it—and I’ll pray about it, too,” she added.
They were silent as they returned to the house, each deep in thought, each unsure what the other was thinking, each afraid to break the silence.
“Here comes your mother,” Julia cooed to Elizabeth as the couple walked into the parlor.
“Has she been crying?” Hannah inquired.
“Not a peep. She’s been good as gold for her granny,” Julia replied, kissing the baby’s plump cheek. “She loves her granny, don’t you ‘Lizabeth?”
William and Hannah exchanged a quick look as Hannah reached for the infant.
“Well, what did Reverend Milrose have to say? When’s the wedding?” Julia questioned.
“He wasn’t …,” William faltered.
“We didn’t talk with him, Julia. William and I had some matters that we needed to discuss privately. We didn’t make it to the church. I hope you’re not upset,” Hannah interrupted.
“Of course not. There’s ample time to take care of details. After all, it’s not as though we’re on a tight schedule. There are steamers up and down the Mississippi all the time. I’ll see to dinner,” she replied. “You two go ahead and continue your plans,” she added as she walked toward the kitchen.
“You see, William? The truth wasn’t so difficult, was it?” Hannah whispered as Julia proceeded down the hallway.
“No, not so difficult,” he answered, his thoughts returning to the words he’d spoken earlier. Words of truth that expressed his deepest longing to make her his wife. Words of truth that she had chosen to believe were lies. He had to find a way to make Hannah his
wife. She was made for him, and in his heart he knew it. All that remained was to convince her. Perhaps he was the one who needed to pray.
Chapter 4
Hannah gathered Elizabeth to her breast and stroked the baby’s cheek as she nursed. This had been a long day, and Hannah was weary. Weary of trying to sort out the occurrences of the days since her arrival and weary of attempting to plan an uncertain future. Her thoughts wandered back to William and her earlier promise to pray about his marriage proposal. Did he really want to marry her? How could he? They barely knew each other. Yet when he had looked at her this afternoon, his eyes alight with what appeared to be desire, she had felt an urging deep within her, a longing to believe that what he said was true, to believe that he would protect her, to—dare she think it?—love her. He could have any woman in New Orleans. His mother had as much as told her so. Why would he want to saddle himself with a widow and baby? Especially one who was determined to settle in the wilderness! Nothing seemed to make any sense.
Placing Elizabeth in the wooden cradle that William had thoughtfully brought to her room only yesterday, Hannah covered the baby and then knelt beside her bed. “Give me wisdom, oh Lord. Show me what I am to do. I come seeking Your divine guidance, Father, and because You are always faithful, I know You will answer. You know my confusion, so I pray You will make Your answer crystal clear. I thank You for all Your blessings, Father,” she whispered, her head now resting on the side of the bed. Forcing herself to rise, Hannah slipped under the covers and immediately fell into a sound sleep.
“Who is it?” Hannah called out as she rubbed her eyes. Sun was shining through the curtains, and Elizabeth was awake, babbling softly and playing with her toes.
“It’s Julia. Are you ill?”
“No, come in.”
“I was getting worried when you didn’t come down for breakfast. William left hours ago, and I didn’t know whether to waken you or not.”
“I’m fine, Julia. I’ll join you as soon as I’ve fed Elizabeth and dressed.”
“Good. We need to talk,” she replied.
The older woman seemed distracted as Hannah entered the parlor a short time later with Elizabeth in her arms. “Here we are—finally,” Hannah announced.
“Sit down, Hannah. I’ve something to tell you,” Julia replied, patting the seat beside her. Reaching out, she took Hannah’s hand in her own. “I don’t know how to tell you this. I feel just terrible about it,” she said while fiddling with a small brooch fastened to the collar of her dress.
“What is it, Julia? You look distraught. Surely nothing so terrible could have happened since last evening.”
“Oh, but it has. We received word early this morning that my sister is very ill back in England. She’s asked that I return to see her before she…”
“Julia, I’m so sorry,” Hannah said, embracing the older woman as she wept. “Of course you need to go and be with her.”
“But don’t you see? I promised to go with you to Illinois, and now I can’t go along.” Once again she broke into unrelenting sobs. “I’ve let you down,” she wailed.
“You haven’t let me down. Everything is going to be fine.”
“Of course it is,” William agreed as he strode into the room, his hands filled with a sheaf of papers.
“What’s all that?” Julia inquired.
“Shipping invoices, a purchase order for goods, steamer tickets, and an appointment to see Reverend Milrose,” he said, waving one of the papers in the air. “We’re to be married this afternoon at four o’clock—that way you’ll be able to attend, Mother.” Without missing a beat, he turned toward Hannah and added, “Mother’s ship sails tomorrow morning, and our steamer departs midafternoon.”
“We need to talk, William,” Hannah said, nodding toward the other room.
“You’re right; we do. Mother, would you look after Elizabeth for a few minutes?” Before his mother had an opportunity to answer, William grabbed Hannah’s hand and led her to the garden.
“I believe God’s answered our prayers,” William began.
“Our prayers?”
“You did pray, didn’t you? After all, you promised, Hannah.”
“Well, yes, I…”
A smile crossed his face and he kissed her hand. “I know you did—don’t look so serious. After all, we’ve already received an answer. The answer I prayed for, I might add.”
“So you believe that your aunt’s imminent death is an answer to our prayers?” an astonished Hannah questioned.
“Of course not. My aunt has sent for my mother three times in the last several years. She gets lonely and each time sends word that she’s dying. Mother rushes back to England and they have a nice long visit, which seems to miraculously cure Aunt Birdie for six months or so.”
“Hasn’t your mother caught on to this ploy?”
“Yes, of course, but there’s always the fear that this time it might be true. If she doesn’t go and something should happen to Birdie, Mother would never forgive herself. It seems to me that we are meant to be married, Hannah. Don’t you agree?”
She couldn’t even sort out her thoughts, let alone make an intelligent decision. It was all happening so fast, yet she knew there wasn’t time to delay. “I’m not sure. It would appear that all other doors have closed.”
“Except the church door,” William hastened to add. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t resist.” He grinned.
“We may as well remain lighthearted about the situation. Otherwise, I think I would dissolve into tears,” she replied as she turned toward the parlor.
“Wait, Hannah. On a more serious note, there is one other thing I want to discuss with you.”
She returned and faced him. What else could he possibly have up his sleeve?
“I purchased a wedding ring for you this morning.” He reached into his weskit and pulled out a wide gold band. “You see, it has a heart engraved in the center,” he said, tracing his finger around the delicately etched outline. “Quite unique, don’t you think?”
“Yes, it’s beautiful,” she replied. “I didn’t expect—I mean, you didn’t need to—“
“You must have a ring, Hannah. It signifies to the world that you are a married woman. But this ring will also have a special significance to the two of us. When we are married, I will place the ring on your finger with the pointed end turned toward your heart. Until such time as you turn the ring and place the point outward, toward my heart, you will be my wife in name only. I shall not force myself upon you.”
“William, I don’t know what to say. That’s most kind of you.”
“I pray that it won’t be long. But I give you my solemn oath that I will wait until you choose to be my wife.”
“Thank you,” she whispered, unable to immediately comprehend such loving generosity.
Hannah settled herself beside William as the steamer chugged its way up the Mississippi. “What do you think of the country so far, Mrs. Winslow?” William inquired of his new bride as he took Elizabeth and placed her upon his lap.
“I believe this scenery could make anyone forget her homeland. The landscape is too beautiful for words—except for that,” she said, pointing toward a cluster of black workers cultivating land on one of the many plantations they had passed. “I thought this was a land of freedom,” she murmured.
“For some but, unfortunately, not for all,” William replied.
She nodded at his comment, but her gaze remained focused in the direction of the slaves until long after they had disappeared from sight.
Day after day they moved up the river, stopping frequently to obtain timberwith which to fuel the steamer. After two days on board the boat, the three of them began going ashore at each stop, enjoying the brief respites to once again walk on firm ground and spend a few moments by themselves. The plantations soon gave way to more uncultivated land, and majestic forests replaced the date and plantain trees. Hannah marveled at the untamed beauty of it all until, twelve days and thirteen hundred miles
later, the paddleboat hissed and shook its way into port at St. Louis.
“This isn’t what I expected,” Hannah told William as she attempted to gain a better view of the city. “I thought it would be much grander, with buildings of stone instead of wood. But still, it will be enjoyable to see what sights St. Louis has to offer and sleep in a decent bed for the night.”
No sooner had Hannah uttered those words than a crewman called to William. “Best hurry, Mr. Winslow. The packet headed for Pike’s Ferry is leaving soon.”
“We must leave immediately? And we’re traveling on that? I had hoped to visit St. Louis,” Hannah complained as William led her toward a worn and unkempt boat.
“We’ve only a hundred more miles. Take heart, my dear. We’ll soon be home.”
Home? She returned his smile, but the less-than-adequate accommodations and chilly November air caused her to wonder what she had gotten them into. Wrapping another blanket around Elizabeth, Hannah once again gave thanks for the child’s sweet disposition.
About nightfall the next day, the packet came to a halt, and a small boat was lowered into the water. “You folks need to collect your luggage and get into that boat,” the captain explained.
“Excuse me? Why would we want to do that?” Hannah inquired.
“That’s Pike’s Ferry over there. My man will row you over and come back to get the rest of your belongings. Careful as you go, missus,” he continued while pushing Hannah toward the boat.
“There’s been a mistake,” Hannah said, pulling away from the captain. “This can’t be the place. There’s nothing in sight but woods.”
“No mistake, missus. That there is Pike’s Ferry. Step lively now. We need to keep moving.”
“Come along, Hannah. Let me take Elizabeth,” William offered. “Let the captain help you down.”
“William! We can’t go ashore here. It’s nightfall, and there’s not a dwelling in sight.”
“This is where God told you to come, my dear. Remember?” he whispered in her ear.
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