Of course, all that week, Mark didn't help me all that much either in the matter...
Like, alright, I knew, at least on the surface that he loved me, as well as that, for me to be testing that love in the manner that I was, was rather a dick move on my part, if you'll excuse me saying so. I knew that he spent his days providing for us so that we could have a decent life together, and that reasonably I didn't have any true cause for complaining about his absence all the time.
But, I don't know... It just felt like he was getting more and more distant from me as I buried himself deeper in routine, leaving me all day with these feelings of want for something, only to have him come home and be completely emotionally unavailable for me.
Like, okay, to give you some idea, during that week any time I would be feeling a bit frisky and want to get intimate with him, I would begin to kiss him and to touch him. And he would just sort of sit there for a bit, letting me get on with it without any sort of objection, until at last turning to me, and saying something along the lines of, “Not tonight.. I'm too tired...”
And excuse me, please, if I think it's a sign that a relationship is on unstable footing when a twenty-something couple like us isn't even having sex anymore.
It could have just been a slump on his part, sure- I knew there were certainly nights when I didn't feel like having sex, either, but that didn't stop whatever this was happening to the two of us from being hurtful.
I was craving some sort of touch, some sort of physical spark with another human being that would get me feeling like I needed to be again. Something that would pull me back around after feeling so far down deep in the lurch...
And again, I had no real reason to suspect, nor did I let myself think, that that would be the sort of direction things would be taking with Mark. But, as wrong as I knew it was, I'm fairly certain that in the back of my mind, I imagined things with my old high school flame escalating throughout the course of our meeting, and that was a hope far too sweet for me to really let go of...
“So,” I said nervously in the present, “how are things going for you? Everything going well since college?”
“Yeah, yeah, great really... I'm really excited about this new business I'm starting. I've had a lot of success with some things like it in the past, and I'm investing some of the capital I've earned from former endeavors to try and see if I can make it on my own two feet. It's looking very promising, so far, in fact...”
“Oh, I see. And it's, um... Something with computers, right?”
“Well, sort of, yes and no. Not specifically with computers, but there is a lot of technology involved in it... And, well, I mean, it's pretty complicated to explain in twenty words or less, actually. I could give you the complete run-down if you're really that interested, but I wouldn't want to bore you to tears with it...”
“Oh, no, that's really alright. Are you, um, settling in okay again and everything?”
“Oh, yeah, yeah that's all been great... Yeah, I was living in the city for the longest time, and I mean, it was great with having things to go do and see, but, I don't know. It was all just a bit too much for me day in and day out. I kind of missed a simpler way of living, I guess, and I'd kind of forgotten how much I loved this old town.”
“It is a pretty beautiful place,” I said, smiling just a bit too much, I could tell, but doing little to stop myself.
“You can sure say that again... I found myself with the opportunity to go just about anywhere with this new business, without any sort of limitations, and I thought, why the hell not? I know people here, and it's a great place to get started with things...”
I didn't say anything to this, but just smiled again, and then said, “Oh, thank you,” as the waitress had just arrived with our food.
“So,” he continued, taking a drink of his soda, “Enough about me. How are things with you? Things all going alright? Seeing anyone special or anything, working?”
“Oh, no, no I'm not seeing anyone, really,” I lied through my teeth, not knowing what the hell was wrong with me even as the words passed from my lips. “I'm, uh... You know, things are fine, really... Things don't really change all that much around here, I guess, so uh... Yeah, things are good...”
He smiled at this, and the two of us proceeded to eat our meals, this one exchange setting up a strange, dense atmosphere over the entire course of the lunch.
Things had only proceeded to get chummier as the minutes ticked on, and by the time we were finished we were both stumbling down the street, laughing out loud as though we were both drunk off of our asses, despite neither of us having consumed a single drop of alcohol.
And suddenly, I found myself pressed up against the wall of the building, much of my own will, I assure you, with his body pressed up against mine and pinning me there quite pleasantly.
His lips were on mine.
The two of us kissed, for a long, mind-blowing moment, his flavor sweet and dirty and almost exactly like it recalled it from so many years ago, except now, perhaps, having aged a bit, matured, and gotten even sweeter for the fact of it.
There was this brief, insubstantial moment when it occurred to me what a colossal mistake I was making, what an unforgivable betrayal this was. I thought of Mark, of all he'd done for me, and of what a shocking blow this would be for him, if he ever, ever found out.
And then Justin's tongue came creeping into my gullet, penetrating me, and any thoughts I might have had of Mark or guilt or betrayal or anything at all came draining away on the spot.
My entire body heated up for him, sensitizing and growing taut with arousal, my desire for his flesh quickly becoming an insatiable need, and my reservations about the affair proceeding to all but drain away from me entirely.
And then, at last, the two of us pulled away from one another, gasping, our chests heaving, his eyes boring into me and mine staring back up, astonished, into his own.
“Oh God... I... I... I don't know what to say, exactly...”
“I don't either,” he wheezed, but I could feel his arousal pressing up against me through the fabric of his clothes, and it got me so turned on in that moment that I felt ready to do it right there in the middle of the sidewalk.
“Are... Are you sure this is a good idea?” I pressed, as though clinging stupidly for that last, minuscule scrap of decency to be found somewhere, anywhere, even as I knew it was unlikely that I would come up anything but empty-handed. And of course, Justin himself had no reason to suspect that this could be a bad idea in any way, because I'd lied to him about the very existence of my very real boyfriend.
“No, or... Well, I'm not sure, no... But why wouldn't it be?” And he said it with just the right dash of charm, the right sort of look in his eyes, so that I as good as melted in his hands right there on the spot.
And the next thing I knew, I was in bed with him...
I didn't know what the hell had come over me... Even when I was actively dating and not in a supposedly committed relationship, I had never been this impulsive when it came to jumping into bed with a guy, and particularly not on the first date.
But, it could be argued, this was not Justin and I's first date, and it was more like an extended hiatus had taken place between our most recent meeting and the present. And, in the meantime, our loins had had ample opportunity to become very, very, very hot and bothered over one another...
The entire afternoon of our love was like a dream in retrospect, flashing from one glorious act to the other in my head, and everything tumbling along in what seemed to be some hot, sticky slow motion of carnal desire.
He peeled me out of my clothes, his hands dancing along my burning body and causing me to burn with sensation, my breasts on fire for this man, and my head spinning, and my femininity actually angry at how long it seemed to be taking for the two of us to cut to the chase with things.
As he removed me from my bra, I had to actually giggle at how adept he was with his hands this time around, unhooking the damn thing with none of his past clumsiness
, and sliding the cups from my tits with complete and total ease.
He then leaned in, and proceeded to suckle on my breasts like a newborn, rolling his tongue around my nipples and sinking his teeth into me, causing them to grow hard, erect, sensitized with arousal even as he glazed them with his spit. I moaned passionately, my head spinning, the beauty of the scene seeming almost hypnotic in its nature...
And then there was his own body... Oh, Christ almighty, what a physique... He had, in no way, lost the physical assets to which he had laid claim so many years ago, and in fact, in many ways, his features were even more sculpted, more refined, more absolutely mind-blowing than they had been before.
His engorged muscles heaved with sweat as he encased me in his anatomy, from the broad swaths of his heaving pectoral muscles, to the agonizing rungs of his six pack abdominals, and the deeply cut v-lines of his Adonis muscles, which pointed like an arrow to the most wonderful treasure of them all.
His long, hot, veiny erection felt absolutely wonderful as it slid up against my skin, smoldering against my thigh as the two of us continued to make out, to ravish one another with kisses, causing me to shiver with pleasure as the moments slipped by, every ounce of my body completely committed to him in that beautiful moment, and my desire to please him, and to be pleased in return, far too intense for words.
He slid his hands down, down, down along the sides of my body, every shock of his touch causing me to reel as he ducked down along me, his hot, wet kisses dipping lower and lower, and my constitution braced as I waited for my whole, complete, and oh so sweet destruction.
And suddenly, my eyes sprang very, very wide, then fluttered gently, softly closed once again.
His lips, Lord help me, were melting into those of my hot, wet, throbbing pussy, bleeding into my body and sloshing into my anatomy like wild. He kissed, and licked, and lapped up my vagina as though it were the most delectable thing he had ever tasted, his passion and enthusiasm an utterly shocking thing, but hardly an unwanted one.
He had never, in the few months we'd once dated, went down on me like this, despite the fact that I had sucked his cock for him on numerous occasions. I was therefore largely bowled over by how skilled, how nearly professional his oral skill set seemed to truly be, and his expertise now absolutely rocked me to my core.
He worked his tongue into every hot, wet nook of my body, soaking up the sin of my vagina with splendid timing, hitting me in all the right places in all of the right moments. I began to moan wildly at the coursing of his tongue up into me, my breasts beating heavily, my nostrils flaring, my spine arching, and my buttocks clenching together as I struggled to contain myself.
For some time, I watched his beautiful, bobbing head as it ducked in and out from between my thighs, and at last, after such an agonizing degree of stimulation, I found myself beginning to plummet over the edge.
“Oh God... Oh God... Oh... Oh... Oh...”
Sensations were beginning to ripple through me wildly, coursing through my actual bones and tearing me to shreds, my head seeming to lighten and drift up toward the ceiling with pleasure, and tears actually beginning to flow down around my cheeks.
My knees began to close in around the poor bastard's pristine skull, nearly crushing him as my body twitched and convulsed with orgasm, my screams, at this point, so loud that they just about pierced my own eardrums.
And finally, I began to sink back down, my body unclenching and my head slowly beginning to stop its spinning, just barely coming to a stop in time for him to clamber his way up on top of me, and for the real, splendid torment to begin.
He seized hold of my legs, pushing them upward, pinning my ankles up around my ears in a manner that made it erotically difficult for me to breathe.
Then, he lifted that glorious body of his up on top of me, mounting me, sliding his pelvis up into mine, and penetrating me. My mind went blank and my eyes squinted tightly shut as I felt himself forcing his way inside up the tight, pink channel of my pussy, stretching me out in the precise manner I could recall him having done so all those many, many years ago.
Inch by inch by inch of his immensity came hooking up into me, hot and spicy and absolutely perfect, at last touching down deep, deep inside me, and leaving me absolutely quaking with delight.
And he began to pump, to thrust, to hump and to fuck, grinding his pelvis around and up into me in a manner that was almost mechanical in nature. I savored it, the churning, rhythmic sliding of his erection through my pussy, stirring me up, pushing my insides around with a pleasant, agonizing squelching that was almost too sweet for words.
I was really moaning this time, my breasts jiggling and my breath becoming painful in my present position, as further and further and further he tormented me, his pace getting more and more vigorous as the intercourse wore on.
Now, Lord help me, he was really beginning to tear into me, pounding my pussy with a vigor, a brutality, almost, that was far beyond what this had been when he'd first slid inside. His cock stuttered into me like a damn jackhammer with the force of his thrusts, smashing like mad into the hot meat of my pussy, pounding and pulsing and smacking like wild.
“Oh fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” I moaned, tilting my head back and staring up at the ceiling as though praying to it to get me through this intact.
Harder and harder and harder he came cracking down into my body, sensations mounting with each suctioned pulling in and out, in and out, in and out of me. Friction began to burn beautifully between my legs, and I almost felt like crying as this sweet, dreadful punishment of my body wore on.
KLAP! KLAP! KLAP! KLAP! KLAP! echoed the sound of our smacking, wet genitals, his testicles slapping wildly into me as he stuttered like wild, my moans turning into screams, and the room seeming to grow brighter and brighter by the minute as he ripped me to damn shreds.
And finally, with one last, brutal slam he hurled his body into me, holding himself in place, and sending us both flying over the edge like wild.
He filled me up, coating my insides with a thick quantity of his hot, smoldering seed, pulse after pulse after pulse of the sticky, glorious stuff, so much that it began to drip back out of me, and I was set once more into the territory of the positively orgasmic.
I screamed, and moaned, and swooned harder than ever for this absolute sexpot, my body reacting to sex as it had not done for years, or ever, perhaps, sensations crackling through me so sweetly that I could barely even stand it.
And at last, as he pulled out of me, and wrapped me up in his arms, I began to feel complete. And even then, as the two of us kissed and caressed one another in the afterglow of our long dormant love, I wondered what the hell I was going to end up doing to myself in attempting such an absurd feat as this...
3
The next several weeks were, to put it very mildly, something of an almost dizzying balancing act for me. I was managing, somehow to keep separate my two lives, the one with Justin and the one with Mark, the possibility of them crossing at any moment robbing me of sleep fairly regularly, so that I really had no idea how long I could sustain this.
There were so many things to worry about, and I didn't know which I feared worse- the possibility that Mark could leave me if he found out, or that Justin would leave me if he knew the truth about my life.
Of course, there was also the potential that both men would ditch me like yesterday's news if their roles in my life ever happened to intersect, and it was this possibility that I kept hidden in my mind more than anything else. I didn't even want to fathom that at that point in time, and I therefore did my damnedest to keep it as buried deep within me as possible.
The fact of the matter was, though, that I really didn't have any sort of preference as to which of the men I could more easily shed from my life if things ended up going south. And that was because, frankly, I didn't really think I could reasonably live without either of them.
I mean, Mark, of course, was the one I should have been more worried about losing. Aside from b
eing my only means of financial support, the two of us had built something very much resembling a life together, as well as an emotional connection that I wasn't at all ready to just throw out the window like it was nothing.
Hell, for all I knew, this could all just be a phase, something to make my way through and then forget about, pretend that it never happened in the first place. Reasonably, then, in that case, Justin should be the one I quietly wrote out of my life, giving him the truth he deserved and regaining my normal, humdrum life in the process.
But I felt as though I couldn't really shed myself of Justin, either, to be honest... Like, our connection may not have been as deep of one, but there was a certain intensity to it... A certain something, of a nature which I can't even really describe all the way, that made him almost crucial to my life in its present state.
Justin was the meaning that I'd needed for some time now, and losing him seemed as devastating a prospect as losing Mark himself.
Think poorly of me if you will, but I felt as though both of these men were now crucial to who I was, and I therefore took pristine care to avoid the two of them ever accidentally encountering one another in my presence.
ROMANCE: BILLIONAIRE ROMANCE: Completely Obsessed (Bad boy Alpha Male Pregnancy Romance) (New Adult and College Contemporary Romance) Page 20