I know she was speaking those words, but I swear it was through someone else. It’s like she was channeling another person. Jake roughly rips Shannon into him as his body trembles with emotion. She grips him fiercely, smashing the twins between their bodies.
“Why do you call me Jakey?” Jake asks in a shaky voice as he pulls back, still remaining in her arms.
“My dad called me Shanny. It’s how I show love to change names the same way. You’re a piece of me and every time I call you Jakey you’ll know it means I love you. You go do your eighteen months with the DCA and then you come and give me six months to fix whatever they fuck up,” she commands, switching from sweet to serious. Nick and I chuckle quietly as Jake beams a smile at Shannon.
“You’ll be busy, Aunt Shanny. I think the DCA’s got it under control.”
“You wanna go to training after gettin’ your ass kicked by a fat pregnant lady?” she questions sternly.
“No thanks.”
“Do your eighteen months and come to me. It’s not a question, Jakey.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.”
She hugs him once more before kissing his cheek and releasing him from her grip. She climbs the stairs with the calm that only that woman possesses.
“Fuck, she scares me,” Jake says through a ragged breath.
“Me too, bud,” Nick agrees, tagging Jake behind the head and crushing it to his shoulder.
“I’ll miss you, Dad,” Jake whispers.
“I’ll miss you too. You need anything, you call me. I don’t care if it’s something small and inconsequential, you call me. If you’re struggling with anything I wanna know. If you’re kickin’ ass and takin’ names, which is what I think you’ll do, I wanna know. Once a month, you call,” Nick demands.
“All right.”
“I love you, Jake. I’m proud of you.”
“Love you too.”
Jake squeezes Nick one last time before Nick lets him go with tears shimmering in both their eyes. Nick places a soft kiss on my cheek before climbing on the plane with one last wave to his son.
I lock my hazel eyes with his big browns and release a small sob. Jake moves to me, almost knocking me off my feet with his force. He curls down into my chest as we both cry, quaking with emotion.
“I love you so much,” he stutters out.
“I love you too,” I whimper. “I don’t want you to go. I understand why you need to, but I need you to know that I want you with me. I wanna see your face every day and hold you in my arms whenever I want. I want you Jake. Do you understand me? You’re wanted in this life. Never question that.”
“Thank you…for everything. I wanna be with you, with all of you. But I’ve gotta do this. I need to be better. I’m not leaving you, Mom. I promise you, I’ll come back.”
Jake squats down and holds my hips before he talks to my parka covered stomach.
“Be a good, baby. Go easy on Mom, she deserves that. Sawyer’ll watch out for you until I get back. Love you, baby.”
I’m crying so hard now I feel like I’m going to puke. How am I going to live without him with me? I don’t know how parents do this. I feel like someone’s ripping a piece of my soul from my body.
Jake swipes his thumbs across my cheeks when he climbs back to his feet.
“I’ve never had someone love me as much as you do. I’ll carry that with me while I’m away. I’ll use your love to get better. You’ll help me escape the blackness,” he murmurs against my face before pressing a long kiss to my wet cheek.
I can’t say anything so I nod and hug him one last time.
“I love you, Mom.”
“I love you too, Jake.”
He lets me go and climbs the stairs to the DCA jet, waving one last time before the flight crew pulls up the stairs and closes the door. I try to regain my composure as I climb onto our jet, but I lose the battle as Nick pulls me into his arms. He places me in a seat and buckles me in as sobs wrack my body. As our plane taxis, I fight the urge to vomit and curl into Nick’s side as closely as I can get.
“I’m so sorry, Sunshine. Love you,” Nick mutters into my hair as he cradles me as best he can.
“Love you, too,” I whisper back allowing the emotional exhaustion to pull me into a deep sleep.
I dream of Jake’s smiling face, free from torment. It’s a good dream even though it hurts. This anguish won’t go away until he’s back with me. I’m sad.
Nick
“Wake up, Sunshine,” I whisper into Kat’s golden hair as the flight crew lowers the stairs. The kid—he can’t be older than twelve—that flew our plane has turned an unusual shade of red as Shanny smiles at him.
“Kiddo,” Kellerman growls at her flirtatiousness.
“Oh, stop it,” Shanny says, rolling her eyes with a delighted smirk playing at her lips.
It should be noted now that we’re in Shannon’s world everyone that talks to her will call her Kid. She got that nickname when she was seventeen and it’s stuck.
Kat stretches and flutters her bright red-rimmed hazel eyes open.
“Sorry,” she croaks.
“You needed the rest. Let’s get back to Shanny’s and you can get some more sleep.”
“’Kay.”
I help her to her feet and follow the boys out onto the snow-dusted tarmac where two black SUVs are waiting for us. One, with Shanny’s bodyguard, Thomas—a mountain of a man who’s not to be fucked with or questioned—behind the wheel. I was pretty surprised he wasn’t with Shanny in Connecticut until she told me Thomas isn’t a fan of flying.
“Quick trip?” Thomas grumbles, walking up to Shanny with a furrowed brow.
“I called. We got held up, Thomas. Don’t get your panties in a wad,” Shanny admonishes.
Thomas lets out a humph before a small smile cracks his usually rigid face.
The other SUV is just idling with no one behind the wheel. I offer Thomas a chin lift and lead Kat and the boys to the empty SUV. Thomas helps load in the Kellerman clan and we take off toward the fortress that houses a unique brand of crazy.
“Holy shit!” Dane exclaims as we pull in Shanny’s gated driveway. Yeah, it’s a lot of house.
“I second that,” Kat says through a smirk.
“Prepare yourselves for the world of Shannon Kelly, boys. This should be…educational,” I inform them as we come to a halt in the driveway. We all pile out and follow everyone through the garage and into a kitchen twice the size of the one we just left in Stepford. It’s part of a great room meant to hold an NFL team. This house was big to start, but it’s a monster now that Kellerman has more than doubled its size.
We move past the gleaming white marble topped counters and stop as the men in Shanny’s life descend upon us. Kavanagh is the first to make his way to Shanny.
“You’re lucky you’re fuckin’ pregnant, Kid,” he growls, wrapping her in his giant python arms. He’s built like a linebacker, about six foot one and as wide as a refrigerator, capped off with a cocky attitude…I like Kav.
“Kavy, don’t be such a little girl,” Shanny admonishes him squeezing him back.
Brian O’Sullivan rips Shanny away from Kav grumbling in her ear, “Where you go, we go.”
“I’m fine, Sully,” she reassures him. Only Shanny gets to call him Sully. To the rest of the world he’s O’Sullivan and nothing else. He was a fighter all through college and still carries the swagger associated with it. He’s Kieran’s cousin and they grew up fighting together until Kieran went with the criminal life and O’Sullivan made his way into criminal law. They’re still close even though they live on two separate sides of the criminal coin.
His chocolate eyes shimmer with mischief as he runs his hand through his dark brown hair.
“Pain in the dick,” he huffs, passing Shanny off to Ryan Callaghan.
The man is a gentle giant, six and a half feet of sweetness. Callaghan has dreamy (yes, I said dreamy) bright blue eyes, shiny blond hair and dimples that look like they hurt.
He’s a man of few words, but always in the action with this crowd.
“No more of that shit,” Callaghan reprimands Shanny, scooping her off the ground in a tight hug.
“Cally, I was with Kel. You worry about me too much.”
“Uh huh,” he grunts, setting her back on her feet.
“Cara, come over here and meet the guys,” Shanny calls out kindly.
Cara’s hiding behind me huddled into her own posse of boys. I’m in some sort of space time continuum looking at Shanny and her guys mirrored by Cara and my boys….it’s weird. Cara holds her position, not complying with Shanny’s request.
“You want us to go with you, sweetheart?” Sawyer whispers behind me.
I turn to see her nuzzled into his side, holding hands with Dane while Cole hovers at her back. She’s found her safe place. A small smile plays at the corner of my mouth as I lock eyes with Kat, who’s grinning right along with me.
“Yes,” Cara murmurs. Slowly, Sawyer and the boys lead Cara past me into the view of the guys who let out audible gasps at the sight of her. Her body goes rigid at their reaction, causing Sawyer to clamp down on her harder and Dane to squeeze her fingers.
The guys’ faces are pale and wearing varied levels of astonishment as the kids stops in front of them. The two groups stand and stare at each other, two ends of a fifteen-year continuum assessing the other.
Kav snaps out of it first, approaching slowly. He stops a foot in front of Cara and inspects her from head to toe with love and hurt shimmering in his blue-grey eyes.
“I’m Aaron Kavanagh,” he says in his deep bass voice, extending a large mitt toward her.
In order to shake his hand she’ll have to let go of Dane, that’s not happening.
“I’m Cara,” she says softly.
Kav pulls his hand back and rubs his buzzed brown hair vigorously.
“I’ve been searching for the last fourteen years to find anyone that could hold a candle to Kid. You’ve just ended my search, Baby Girl,” he says with that cocky Kav grin on his lips.
Cara’s face turns bright red and a giggle bursts from her lips, causing the room to release a ton of the tension that was sinking down on us. Kat and Shanny beam knowing smiles at each other.
“No way you’re gettin’ dibs on this one,” O’Sullivan chides Kav, nudging him out of the way. “I’m Brian O’Sullivan. I’m funnier than any of these idiots and you’re simply breathtaking.”
The blush that Kav created has bloomed even more, causing Cara to hide her face in Sawyer’s shoulder.
Callaghan strides toward her without uttering a word. He simply stands in front of her and holds her eyes for a long while in silence. She stares at him with the strangest contented look on her face. I look to Shanny who’s now holding tears at bay. Her and Callaghan have this connection where they don’t need words to communicate and I think Cara has just created the same thing with him.
Cara peels away from her boys and steps right into Callaghan’s space before reaching her slender arms up, barely circling his neck. Effortlessly, he scoops her off the ground, allowing her feet to dangle a half foot off the ground as she buries her face in his neck.
“I’ve got you,” he murmurs into her hair.
She nods in return, squeezing him harder.
“Okay, Cal’s got us fuckin’ beat,” Kav grumbles, not meaning a word of it.
“Whatever. I’m not a quitter,” O’Sullivan huffs.
Callaghan sets Cara back on her feet and offers her a dazzling dimpled smile and she beams right back at him. It’s a short lived moment as she scurries back to her boys and Cole wraps his arms around her from behind while the other two interlace their fingers with her.
Time to introduce my family.
“Guys,” I say with a chin lift, pulling Kat toward the group. “This is Kat Russell.”
“Hey, Kat,” Kav purrs.
“It’s nice to meet you,” Kat says through a sweet smile.
“Cooper where’d you find this one? She’s…hot,” Kav compliments.
“No shit! Gorgeous,” O’Sullivan says, placing a kiss on her knuckles.
These guys are obnoxious.
“She’s the kinda girl you marry,” Callaghan says with a broad smile.
“Huh?” Kat asks.
“Two types of girls in the world. The kind you…uh…well…sleep with and the kind you marry,” Kav stutters, trying to avoid his usual foul language.
“I’d like to think I’m both,” Kat says with a quirked brow.
“Love her,” Shanny beams through her announcement.
Cara whispers something to Sawyer before turning her green eyes up to him with a questioning look.
“Marry, sweetheart,” he says gently.
Her face lights up as she snuggles further into Cole’s arms.
“No question,” O’Sullivan says, offering Cara a wide Cheshire grin.
“These are our boys,” I introduce. “Sawyer, Cole and Dane.”
“It’s like goin’ back in fuckin’ time,” Kav says with a chuff in his voice.
“Dude, if we’re lookin’ at our future I get to be you,” Dane says with a huge smile on his face.
“Good choice,” Kav responds through a chuckle.
“Then I’m O’Sullivan,” Sawyer pipes in.
“Better choice,” O’Sullivan goads Kav.
“You’re idiots. I’m Callaghan, gettin’ the hugs from hotties,” Cole finishes with a toothy grin.
“Best choice!” Callaghan shouts.
Kat pulls my ear down to her mouth and whispers, “And Jake will be you. He gets the top spot.”
My heart pounds in my chest at the sweetness of her words as I smash my lips to hers.
“Too much mushy shit for me to stomach,” Kav says with a gag as I pull away from a snickering Kat. “Come on boys, I’ll show you where you’re stayin’.”
The boys and Cara follow Kav and Callaghan to the giant staircase at the end of the great room. As they walk away, all I can imagine is what the next fifteen years hold for Cara and my boys.
“So that was fuckin’ weird,” Shanny points out the obvious, passing Johnny off to O’Sullivan who immediately starts eating the baby’s cheeks to his giggly delight.
“That it was,” I agree.
“Kid, she’s like a damn carbon copy of you. That shit felt like freshman year all over again. My dick didn’t get hard this time though,” O’Sullivan admits through a snort.
“That was pervy back then. Now it would be illegal and buy you the business end of my gun,” Shanny replies with a pointed look.
“Last I checked you liked the perv that I was.”
“Is that so?”
“Oh you can try to lie about it now, but you thought I was a sexy piece of meat and you were ready for dinner.”
“You were like beef jerky that I wanted to feed a dog, Sully,” Shanny says through a chuckle before sweeping Kat away from my side.
“Your boys are ten times better than my guys were back then. Don’t worry about Cara bein’ with ’em,” Shanny reassures her, leading us to the world’s largest horseshoe sectional known to man.
“I’m standing right here, Kid,” O’Sullivan complains.
“I see you,” she deadpans.
Kat and Shanny flop down and Kellerman and I wrap an arm around each of our women while O’Sullivan drops to the floor to roll around with Johnny.
“Should I go up and check on Cara?” Shanny asks the group.
“She’s good with the boys,” Kellerman reassures his fiancée.
“Realtor tomorrow?” Kat asks me.
“Yeah.”
“There’s no rush. You can stay here as long as you need to. Aidan’s at a conference this week. Aidan is the baby Callaghan brother,” Shanny clarifies for Kat. “He lives here too. Finn, the oldest Callaghan, lives a couple miles away, but he’s here all the time.”
“So you’re just surrounded by men all the time?” Kat asks with a little mischief in her vo
ice.
“That I am,” Shanny responds with a smirk on her lips.
“It’s a nice view.”
“No question.”
“You two are trouble. Maybe we should look at houses in Alaska,” I grumble.
“Isn’t the male to female ratio in Alaska like two and a half to one?” Shanny asks in her I know you’re full of shit voice.
“Not the place to scope for pussy,” O’Sullivan chuckles, flying the baby above his head while he lies on his back.
“You don’t scope for pussy anymore,” Shanny says pointedly.
“Uh, scoped, sampled and savored last night, Kid.”
“Is that so?”
“Yup,” he responds popping his p.
Shanny furrows her brow but doesn’t respond as Kellerman nudges her to shut up.
“Your sons are rolling a lot today,” Shanny grumbles, trying to find a comfortable position.
“They’re happy to be home,” Kellerman beams, placing a large hand on her swollen belly.
I can’t wait for Kat to get that far in her pregnancy. I’m ready for the hand on the belly move. Even though she’s sick all the time right now, she’s still got that pregnant glow about her. It keeps my dick at a semi most of the day.
“When are you due?” O’Sullivan asks Kat, quirking an eyebrow at me.
“August fourteenth,” Kat says with a shine in her voice and a rub of her flat stomach.
“So we’re workin’ a baby every two months at this point huh? Kid in April. Kieran and Quinn in June and you two in August. Who’s pickin’ up October?” he jokes.
“You,” Kellerman and Shanny say through a laugh.
“I like my baby gravy smothering buns not uteruses. Plus, I like pussy too much to settle on one flavor,” he scoffs.
“You just haven’t found your favorite yet,” I inform him with a cocky smirk.
“Kieran said the same thing. What the hell? Who would’ve thought you and him would ever be givin’ out that kinda advice?”
“Shit changes,” I answer with a shrug.
Into the Blackness (Blackness Series Book 4) Page 33