by Lynn Collins
“Shawnee’s a small school.” Lizzie shook her head. This had been the routine for the four of them every first weekend of May since she could remember. Junior year, Jesse talked his dad into stocking the cooler they kept in the back of the pickup. Then his dad had confiscated the truck keys until Monday morning. The man wouldn’t deny his favorite son much, but he wasn’t stupid.
Jesse grinned. “So now what? A trip down memory lane? Or do you two girls want to dance? There’s a band starting up down at the park. Jimmy Lee and the Blue Jays.” Jesse always knew where the best parties were. Even after being out of town for years, he still had the pulse of the party.
James tried to brush Jesse away. “We’re talking. Give us ten minutes.”
Lizzie stood up. “Why wait? Let’s go now. We can catch up later.”
“I always knew you were the fun one.” Jesse took Lizzie’s hand on one side and Barb’s hand on the other. “Ladies, let’s boogie.”
Lizzie glanced over her shoulder back at James, his dark eyes focused on her. “Come on, James.”
“We will talk about this,” he grumbled as he followed the group down the metal stairs and onto the sidewalk.
That’s what I’m afraid of. Lizzie kept her back rigid. But even with the slight, James hurried to catch her up.
As they walked toward the river park, the beat of the jukebox rocking River’s End faded. Lizzie could hear a hoot owl calling across the river and the gentle lapping of the river against the bank. The Salmon River had been nicknamed The River of No Return because of the sharp and narrow canyons the water carved through the mountains. But in town, the water slipped quietly through the narrow channel giving the local kids a place to swim.
“I’d forgotten how quiet it is here.” James voice came from behind.
Lizzie kept her hand in Jesse’s, but turned to look at James. “I know. Portland’s nice, and it’s close to the Columbia, but there’s nothing like this.”
James lengthened his stride and quickly caught up with her. “Sorry I pushed back there. I really just wanted you to know if there’s ever anything you need, you can call me.”
Lizzie’s throat caught. She couldn’t call without first asking him for his phone number. And then… Well, how did you tell someone he had a five-year-old son? She shook her head. Five-and-a-half years ago when she’d arrived home from Portland pregnant, her mom had been clear. Lizzie could choose security for herself and her baby at home with them or a life on the road with James and Jesse.
Now there was just her, JR, and her dad. And lately, none of it felt terribly secure. “Thanks for the offer. I appreciate it.”
“No problem.” James nodded to a table near the edge of the park. “Looks like we’ve got the last table.”
When they reached it, Lizzie slipped onto the wooden bench plank. To commemorate Shawnee’s timber town roots, the local lumber mill had donated the park and all the landscaping. The table was rough-cut wood rather than the typical mass-produced redwood in the nearby national parks.
“Ready for another beer?” Jesse stood next to her. “Barbs and I will get them. You two sit and finish whatever it was you were talking about before.”
“Seriously Jesse, I didn’t come here to talk. I thought we were dancing?” Lizzie’s glance went from Barb to Jesse, hoping one of them would show pity and help her out of this mess.
“I’m kind of thirsty.” Jesse grinned. “Sit down and claim the table for us. We can dance later.” He grabbed Barb by the arm and almost skipped in the direction of the beer tent.
Lizzie shook her head. “I didn’t think Jesse liked me. And here he is getting me a beer, leaving us to talk. He would never have stood for this our last summer together. Remember how we had to push-start the truck so he wouldn’t hear us leave the house?”
James snorted. “He’d get so mad. And of course, Dad always took his side. Even though I paid most of the money for that old truck, Jesse thought it was his and his alone.”
“What’s James’s is Jesse’s and what Jesse’s is Jesse’s. It’s the Sullivan way.” She paused, knowing she treaded on shaky ground. “What’s it like working with him?”
“Don’t you mean working for him?” James shot her a look of…what? Distrust? Dissatisfaction? Lizzie couldn’t tell in the darkness.
“You two have always been a team. Isn’t it that way now?”
“Things have changed. I don’t know what’s going on. I can’t get him to commit to a schedule more than a couple weeks in advance. Usually by mid-April our entire summer’s planned. You know he’s won the championship in Vegas two years running. This year he’s got a shot at a third, but who knows. Something’s not right.” James took off his black cowboy hat, running his fingers through his brown hair. He grinned. “I need a haircut.”
Lizzie brushed a lock of hair out of his eyes. “I always liked it longer. Remember when we braided it for the rodeo and your dad had a cow?”
“What, you want to look like a girl?” James imitated his dad’s gruff voice. “He got hot.”
Lizzie put her hand on his. She almost jerked back at the electricity she felt. This was a mistake. She should be anywhere but here but she couldn’t leave. “I was sorry to hear about the accident. You doing okay?”
“Dad made his peace with us a few weeks before it happened. He was driving to Cody to watch Jesse ride when the truck went into the river.” James’s head dropped, but his eyes sought out his brother. “Jesse blamed himself for a long time. We both knew Dad liked to sip a little on his road trips. They found an empty flask in the cab.”
Lizzie shut her eyes, feeling for him. “You can’t change people. They are who they are.” Opening her eyes, she found Jesse standing by the beer tent. A woman in new jeans, boots, and a bright pink satin shirt hung on his arm. Barb sat with a different group, but Lizzie saw her watching Jesse and the woman, too. “Who’s the buckle bunny with Jesse? She’s a little old for the rodeo scene, isn’t she?”
James’s head popped up from watching her hand rest on top of his. “Where?”
“Over by the beer garden.” Lizzie pointed. “The bleached blonde. Don’t tell me you can’t see her. That outfit outshines the lights strung around the park.”
James swore under his breath. “I can’t believe she had the nerve to show up here.” He stood up and pulled out his wallet. He gave her a business card. “Lizzie, I’ve got to go. Call me tomorrow and we’ll get together for breakfast. We need to talk.”
Holding onto the card by its edges, Lizzie cringed mentally. Buddy, you don’t know the half of it. Aloud she asked, “Where are you going?”
“I need to rescue Jesse.” James leaned down and closed her hand over the card. “Seriously, call me. I need to talk to you.”
“Sure, go save your brother.” The hurt that rose over James choosing his brother instead of her six years ago got away from her before she could stop it. She’d been right. Rodeo weekend still made her feel like high school. Alone and disappointed. Second choice to Jesse. Like she’d always been an afterthought in James’s life and always would be one.
At least this time, James hadn’t left her pregnant and alone when he went off after his brother.
2
“Wake up sleepyhead. Let’s get down to The Pancake House before they run out of huckleberry pancakes.” Barb’s voice came through the condo’s bedroom door where Lizzie curled into a fetal position in the huge, soft bed. Like she was the princess and Barbara was the nagging pea. If the nagging pea would only go away, she wouldn’t even need a hundred mattresses to be comfortable. This one was heaven. With the heavy down comforter pulled over her, Lizzie didn’t want to move. She didn’t want her short vacation from Mom Land to end. Not this quickly.
But the sun shone through the window and Barb was hungry. In a few hours, JR would be chatting her ear off, telling her all about the parade and what he and Gramps had been up to while she’d lounged the morning away.
And then she had to think about James.
She reached over and picked up his business card. She’d stared at it for hours last night, unable to sleep.
Why call? she asked herself. He left you. Why call him and give him the chance to do it again?
“Why indeed?” Lizzie asked the empty room.
“Did you say something?” Barb called from the bathroom.
“Nope,” Lizzie called back.
“Do you mind if I shower first?” Barb poked her head into the small bedroom. “I can’t believe you’re still in bed.”
“I’m relaxing. Go ahead.” Lizzie snuggled under the comforter. She had five, maybe ten minutes. Barb took short showers.
Forty-five minutes later, The Pancake House’s parking lot was packed. Barb eased her SUV into a spot near the back of the lot. Once they were in the building, they waited in line for a table. The smell of maple syrup permeated the lobby, making Lizzie’s stomach growl. Glancing around the packed dining room, Lizzie didn’t recognize any faces. The town regulars must have stayed home this morning, unwilling to share their favorite eating spot with strangers.
Cash, the owner, waved at the two women from behind the register. “Long time no see, Barb.” He kissed Lizzie on the cheek. Cash had graduated a year ahead of Lizzie. Team quarterback, he’d gone on to play college ball then had a short stint in the NFL before he blew out his knee. After that he’d come home to run the family business.
“Barb, you need to tell this woman to accept my undying love and marry me.” Cash came over to give each woman a hug. “We’ve dated for so long, I’ve forgotten why she hasn’t.”
“Have you ever actually asked her?” Barb responded tartly and grinned. “Besides Cash, if I could convince Lizzie of anything, it sure wouldn’t be wasted on her marrying a has-been football player. Who’d want a husband who looks like he should be surfing and has better hair than most of the women in town?”
“So true. Everyone is jealous of my golden locks. Liz, the high school is doing Grease for their end of year musical. Are we on for next weekend?” Cash gave Lizzie a look that bordered on pleading.
Lizzie knew that for Cash, part of being a small-town business owner and local football hero was that people expected you to sponsor things and show up places. That meant needing a pretty date on your arm if you didn’t have a wife and family to show off. Lizzie had played arm candy for him for years—and enjoyed it. However nice a guy he was, and however much they enjoyed themselves together, there was no real heat between them. Lizzie had kept it casual.
She watched him. Cash was a good man, and he was here, he wasn’t going anywhere. He’d demonstrated that time and again. So maybe it was time to take their dating to the next level. JR liked Cash and her son needed a positive male role model in his life. On the other hand, when Lizzie tried to imagine her life with Cash, all she saw was another responsibility. One where she instinctively knew she’d spend her early mornings as hostess at the restaurant then head home to run the cabin rentals for the rest of the day.
And night.
Her thoughts were interrupted by a deep voice behind her, “Maybe she doesn’t want to be tied to another job, Cash. If you want a new employee, hire one, don’t marry one.”
She turned to see James standing behind her, shocked he’d said out loud what she’d been thinking.
“Hey, I wasn’t thinking about the business.” Cash grimaced. He gave James a bear hug. “Man, I heard you and Jesse were home. Hoped we’d see you before you took off for the lights of Vegas.”
“More like the back roads of South Dakota. Jesse’s riding in the Black Hills Invitational next weekend.” He nodded down at Lizzie. “I guess I missed your call.”
“I guess.” Darn it, why did she let him make her feel guilty and uncomfortable when she’d done nothing wrong?
Barb shot a glance between Lizzie and James. “Maybe I should check on the schedule for today?”
“Yes,” James said.
“No,” Lizzie shot back. She grabbed Barb’s arm. “We came for breakfast. We’ll add one more to the table. Cash, can you seat us?”
Cash raised his eyebrows as he met James’s glare. “Sure, we’ve got a table to fit all of you.” He grabbed some menus and walked into the dining room directly to the last booth on the wall of windows. “Callie will be right with you. Great seeing you, James. Maybe we can grab a beer later?”
James nodded as he slipped into the booth. “Sure. We’ll see you tonight.”
“After Jesse kicks butt at the rodeo tomorrow, the two of you will be ready to celebrate.” Cash waved and walked back to the front. Lizzie watched him stop to chat with the other tables. “How is everything? Can I get you more coffee?”
Cash had a natural skill for making people feel at home and his business thrived because of it. Dating Cash was simple and comfortable, unlike dating James. She snuck a glance across the table. Both Barb and James watched her. “What?”
“Earth to Lizzie… what were you thinking about?” James watched her face; he always did.
“Nothing,” Lizzie lied.
“Yeah, right.” James glanced over at Cash, clearing a nearby table for more diners. “I can tell it’s nothing.”
“Get to the point James, what did you want to talk about?” Lizzie was tired of playing games. She wanted breakfast and time to walk down to the rodeo grounds before the parade started. Dragging this thing out with James might have been fun when they were teenagers, but now it only made her realize how much she’d missed looking into those brown eyes and being close to him. The man put off heat like a wood stove. Even now she could feel the heat rising from his body, warming her legs under the table.
James glanced at Barb.
“Listen, I know you want me stay, Lizzie, but I’m going to leave.” Barb stood up.
“Thanks,” James nodded.
“But we haven’t even ordered. You were the one who wanted huckleberry pancakes,” Lizzie protested.
“We’ll make plans for tomorrow morning before I leave.” Barb turned and walked away, not giving Lizzie a chance to argue.
“You always were good at crowd control.” Lizzie stirred sugar into the coffee that the waitress had poured into her cup. Looking up at the waiting girl, she ordered her breakfast. “Bacon, scrambled eggs, the house potatoes, and a short stack of huckleberry pancakes. And a glass of orange juice.”
“I’ll take the same.” James chuckled as the waitress walked away. “You always could put away a good meal.”
“How about we stop this small talk and get to the point. Did you save Jesse last night?”
James leaned back after taking a sip from his coffee. “They were gone by the time I got over there. The kid can take off pretty fast when he wants.”
“Do you know the woman he was with?”
James sat forward, his face hard. “I didn’t ask you here to talk about Jesse.”
“No?” Lizzie sat forward belligerently and pushed the button. She didn’t have anything to lose. “We always talk about Jesse. What Jesse wants, where Jesse is, how Jesse’s feeling. What else is there to talk about?”
“It wasn’t that bad, was it?”
How could he honestly not realize? “James, we didn’t even go to prom because Jesse got drunk beforehand and threw up on his date’s three-hundred-dollar dress and you had to fix things for him.”
James grinned. “Yeah, but I remember we did something a lot better than dancing when I got back.”
Lizzie blushed. Sitting down by the river on a plaid blanket, the kissing had turned into more. That night had been their first attempt at making love.
The waitress slid two plates of food in front of her, giving her a time to compose herself before she spoke. “And that’s what you want to talk about? One night on the river?” Lizzie’s words were as harsh as her tone. But to keep James at a distance in order to protect JR, she needed to be harsh. She took a bite of cubed potatoes fried together with onions, bacon bits, ham, and green peppers, and covered with a handful of melted shredded chedd
ar. The taste would have been heaven if James hadn’t been sitting across from her.
“Hold on a second. You brought up Prom night, not me.” He poured huckleberry syrup over his pancakes and passed it to her. “You want some of this?”
“Of course. Breakfast in town’s a treat these days.” Lizzie watched as he poured syrup over her stack. “Whoa, that’ll do.”
“You always cried uncle first.” James grinned and reached over to grab her hand. Rubbing the palm with his thumb, he locked gazes with her. “I want to get to know you again. Look, I screwed up before. I admit it. I should have followed you to Portland and stood outside your dorm room until you gave up and talked to me. But I let Jesse pull me away.”
Lizzie tried to pull her hand away, but James tightened his grip. “Yes, you did.”
“Stop, let me finish.” He waited for her to stop squirming and look at him. “I want to court you. I’ll admit, it will be long distance during the rodeo season, but I can fly back here at least once a month. And maybe you could come meet me a weekend or two.”
Stunned, Lizzie stared at him, her food forgotten. James wanted to date her? Only one problem, JR. When James found out about him, this entire conversation would be done. She knew how strongly James felt about family—about blood kin. Hadn’t he showed his cards many years ago when he’d chosen Jesse over her? Hadn’t he said it even, when he told her how he couldn’t even consider leaving Shawnee until Jesse graduated high school the year after them?
On the other hand, now that she had the trump card in her hand, maybe James would be equally determined to make their relationship work. Her lips twisted. Even if it shouldn’t.
“My life is pretty complicated right now. Besides, how do you know I’m not with someone?”
“Who? Cash? Don’t you think if you were serious you would have taken the next step?” James released her hand and cut into his short stack. “Just think about it Lizzie. We’re good together.”
“Were good together, James. In high school, when we weren’t fighting about Jesse. Maybe too much time has passed for us to recreate that—or even something better. Something new.” Lizzie froze as a thought hit her. If James could figure out her love life in the first twenty-four hours since he arrived in town, what chance did she have of keeping JR a secret? Especially when her dad planned on bringing JR to the parade. Trouble, this was trouble. She glanced around the crowded restaurant.