Lionel sat wishing Ryan would come in from the foyer. He kept looking back that way. "Was there something specific you wanted, Lionel?" Bruce asked.
"Me? No. I just wanted to check in with you. I've been wondering about those other two, too, and I was hoping we could work on them and Ryan."
"Ryan's going to be the toughest," Bruce said. "This is newer to him, and his parents are dead."
-----+-----
Ryan traded off sitting on the floor and moseying around the front of the church, idly looking at literature in the foyer. He was bored, but he had no interest in meeting with Bruce again. He had just pulled a tract off a table and began reading it, not understanding a bit of it, when Judd and Vicki came in. He looked at them and then looked away, embarrassed. He hoped they wouldn't say anything about his crying and running out.
"Hey, Ryan!" Vicki said. "Glad you came back. Where's Bruce?"
Ryan shrugged. "Somewhere with Lionel."
"Is it private or can we join them?"
Ryan shrugged again, wishing she would stop asking him questions. He didn't know and he didn't care.
"Hey," Judd said, "where are you guys staying?"
Now there was a question Ryan wanted to answer. He gushed the whole story about being scared to go in his own house and how Lionel's place had been taken over by guys who might have murdered Lionel's uncle. He told them someone had broken into his house, just before he had almost talked himself into agreeing with Lionel that they should stay there.
"I've got plenty of room at my house," Judd said. "In fact---"
"You do?" Ryan said quickly. "That would be great. Can I stay with you even if Lionel doesn't want to?"
"Slow down there, little man," Judd said. "We can all talk about this together and see what Bruce thinks about it. Vicki and I have some news for all of you anyway. Come on, let's find Lionel and Bruce."
"I don't want to."
"Why not?"
"Same reason as the other night. I don't believe this stuff."
"Well, you probably will."
"No, I won't."
"Even if you don't, we're all in this thing together. We have to watch out for each other. We need each other."
"You just want to talk me into this."
"Nobody can do that, little man. It means nothing anyway unless you decide on your own."
"I want to stay out here."
Ryan was worried that he had disappointed Judd, who looked peeved.
"What if I said you could only stay with me if you come in and see Bruce?"
"I guess I'd have to then," Ryan muttered. "You're probably going to force me to become a Christian too."
"No, I won't do that. Nobody can do that."
"What about you guys? Are you Christians now too, like Lionel?"
Judd appeared to be about to answer when Vicki interrupted. "He can find out at our meeting with Bruce, Judd. I mean, if he'd really rather stay here, he can just wait to see what we talked about."
"Good idea," Judd said. "What's it going to be, Ryan?"
"Do you promise to quit calling me 'little man'?"
"Sure. Now quit stalling."
"I want to stay here," he said.
"It's your call," Judd said, turning to head into the sanctuary.
"I hope you don't regret it," Vicki said, not in a mean way. In fact, Ryan thought she seemed so nice, he wouldn't have minded going in with them.
They were almost out of sight when he muttered, "Wait up. I'm coming."
_________________________
CHAPTER TEN
The Mystery
JUDD was glad Ryan Daley had followed Vicki and him to find Bruce and Lionel. He had a feeling this was going to be a good meeting, regardless of what Ryan decided. Still, despite his anticipation of telling Bruce his and Vicki's good news, Judd couldn't shake the turmoil deep inside him. He wondered whether, even if he survived the seven years of tribulation that was to come, he would ever forget his regret, his remorse, and the bitter loss of his family.
He tried to push that aside for now, knowing that everyone who had been left behind faced the same anxiety. Bruce opened their little meeting with prayer. Then he asked each person to bring the group up to date since the last time they had been together.
Judd was first, and he told of his and Vicki's talks, of their adventure at O'Hare, and added that he would leave it for Vicki to tell about what she found at her home and what spiritual decision she had come to. "As for me," he said, "I finally realized I was being stubborn and stupid to put off doing something I should have done years ago."
When Bruce realized what Judd was saying, he immediately stood and leaned down to embrace him. Judd felt awkward and embarrassed. His dad had not been much for hugging, especially after Judd got to be about twelve, but still he was glad Bruce seemed so genuinely happy for him. Bruce was on the verge of tears when he said, "Lionel and I welcome you to the family. We're all brothers in Christ."
Lionel reached out a congratulatory fist, and Judd met it with his own. Then it was Vicki's turn. "I'm going to keep this short, Bruce, because you look like you could use some sleep---"
"Oh, don't worry about me."
"---And I'm going to tell it in the order it happened." Her story was much like Judd's, of course, and when she got to the part where she prayed to receive Christ, Bruce embraced her too and welcomed her as a sister in the family. Lionel reached out his fist and she patted it, making him chuckle. Judd was too embarrassed to hug her, so he shook her hand. Meanwhile, it appeared Ryan was just taking this all in.
When Vicki told of finding the burned out shell of her trailer, Bruce looked startled. He did not appear pleased to hear that she seemed to be planning to stay with Judd for a while. Judd felt he had to explain.
"We're not going together or even interested in anything like that," he said. "And we would stay on different floors. We're more like brother and sister, like you said."
"I'd feel more comfortable if I could find you a woman from the church to stay with, like my secretary. She has a big home with lots of room. And she's by herself now."
"I don't think I want to do that," Vicki said. "This doesn't have to look bad, and if it does, it's only because people are assuming the wrong thing."
Bruce looked as if he wanted to talk about it some more, but instead he urged Vicki to continue with her story.
"'That's all, really."
Bruce called on Lionel, who gave a rundown on all that he and Ryan had been through. Judd was surprised that he seemed to speak for Ryan, but it was also likely that Ryan didn't want to talk anyway. If Lionel didn't tell Ryan's part, no one would. Judd was amazed at all they had been through in such a short time. Was this what it was going to be like, then? Nothing but trouble around the clock? And how awful about Lionel's uncle! "I can take you to that high school where the morgue is," Judd offered.
"I've already got that covered," Bruce said. "I'll call to see where they're shipping the bodies, because surely no high school has the equipment to hold bodies for long. We'll find out where Lionel's uncle andré is, and we'll get him over there to identify the body."
Bruce asked Ryan if he wanted to say anything. That was when Judd noticed that Ryan still had the tract he had taken from the foyer. He was pretending to study it, but he'd had time to read it over and over if he wanted. Ryan said nothing. He just shook his head.
"Fair enough," Bruce said. "No one's going to pressure you. You can be a part of this group as long as you want, regardless of what you decide to do. When you're ready, you make this decision on your own."
Finally, Ryan spoke. "And what if my decision is to say no?"
Bruce said, "Nobody can make the decision for you. You have to live with the consequences."
"Or die with them," Lionel said.
Now Ryan was mad. Judd thought he might bolt again. "He's been talking to me that way all day," Ryan said. "What kind of a Christian is that?"
"I've only been kiddin
g. Kids our age crack on people all the time. Can't you take it?"
"This has to be a fragile time for him," Bruce said.
"It's that way for all of us," Lionel said. "But that doesn't mean we have to be so touchy."
"I just want you to quit hassling me, Lionel. OK?"
Lionel shrugged. "I guess. If it's bothering you that much."
"It is."
"So if I start talking nicer to you, will you---"
Bruce held up a hand. "No deals, no bribes, no pressure, remember?"
Lionel nodded. "Sorry."
Judd wanted to make his offer. "I'd like both of you guys to stay at my place too."
"I was hoping you'd say that," Ryan said.
"I'd feel better about Vicki staying there if the other two were there too," Bruce said.
Judd felt some of his old rebellion surfacing. He resented Bruce's implying that Judd was responsible to him. Maybe Bruce considered himself Judd's pastor already, and because he was older he thought he could boss him around. Judd thought maybe he did need somebody doing that, but his first reaction came from the person he used to be. He didn't like being told what to do. What kind of a Christian was he going to be? Well, Bruce seemed more comfortable with everybody staying in the same house, so maybe it wouldn't be an issue again. Judd hoped not.
After the meeting the kids filed into Bruce's office, where he began calling around to find out who in Chicago would know anything about Lionel's uncle andré. The phones still gave everyone fits, and between busy signals, bad connections, and the usual runarounds and red tape everyone had to go through, it appeared to Judd that Bruce was getting to the end of his rope.
Finally someone was able to tell him that the bodies that had been delivered to the high school in andré's neighborhood would be available for identification at a city morgue in a nearby precinct late Friday afternoon, two days away.
"I'll take you then," Bruce told Lionel. Then he helped load Ryan's, Lionel's, and Judd's bikes into the trunk of Judd's car. They took up so much room that Judd had to leave the trunk open as the four of them clambered in for the ride to his house.
Judd rolled down his window and called out to Bruce. "You sure you wouldn't rather stay with us too?"
"Only if you really need me," Bruce said. Judd was relieved. He wished Bruce had a place to stay that wouldn't be so painful for him. But the independent part of Judd also liked the idea that he would be the oldest in the house, and the house was his, after all. He didn't know if he was up to being in charge of three people he hardly knew, but he was eager to find out.
-----+-----
Being in charge was not at all what Judd expected. For the next few days it seemed all he did was worry what Vicki was thinking, referee arguments between Ryan and Lionel, and try to explain why he and Vicki got the "good" rooms and the other two got the leftovers. He had no say over when anybody came and went. He wasn't their parent or their boss, as they reminded him often. He suddenly realized how tough it would be to be a parent whose kid or kids didn't respect him or listen to him or obey him. He was getting a clear view of what a problem he had been to his parents.
Judd spent a lot of time digging through his dad's papers, finding out what bills had to be paid and when. He also found the documents that told him where his father had his money deposited and what accounts had balances. Judd was grateful to realize that his father was a good money manager and planner, and that there was more than enough there to last anyone ten years, let alone seven, if he was careful.
Judd gave Vicki cash to buy herself some clothes, and she proved to be very frugal. She told hint that if she could really use his mother's stuff, she wouldn't need much more. And she kept insisting that she would get a job and pay him back. "You really don't need to," Judd said. "There's plenty more money."
"So I'm just supposed to become a bum and let someone else pay for everything for me? I don't think so, Judd. I mean, I appreciate it, but what kind of pride would I have if I let you do that?"
Judd didn't know what to say. Ryan said he would be happy to let Judd pay for everything, but Lionel shamed him into admitting that he would only feel good about himself too if he was earning some money to contribute to the pot.
Bruce phoned Judd's home during the middle of the afternoon that Friday. "Judd," he said, "I hate to do this to you, but I'm going to need you to bail me out. I've got people calling right and left and I'm meeting with them, counseling them, you name it. I've gotten nowhere in trying to prepare for Sunday, and it looks like we're going to be jam-packed."
"What do you need?" Judd asked.
"I need you to drive Lionel in to that morgue. It's not in a good part of town, and I know you have not dealt with Chicago authorities before, but if I tell you whom to ask for and what to say, can you handle it?"
"Sure."
"And you'll let me know as soon as you get back, so I'll know you're safe?"
Judd hesitated.
"Judd?"
"Well..."
"You don't want to do it? I understand. I'll get someone el---"
"No, it's not that. I just want to talk to you about checking in with you to let you know I'm safe and all that. I don't want to get into that trap."
"I'm only asking you this time because I'm asking you to do something as a favor for me--- something I should be doing myself."
"Yeah, OK. I don't mind."
Bruce gave Judd all the information and directions. Surprisingly, not only did Ryan want to go along, but so did Vicki. Judd talked them out of it. "It's not a good part of town," he said. "I figure there'll be lots of cops there, and if they see a bunch of kids, they might have a lot of questions. Just let Lionel and me do this, and when we get back we'll tell you all about it."
-----+-----
Vicki found it strange to be alone in the house with Ryan. They had not talked much, and he didn't seem interested in starting. She tried to make small talk with him, but she didn't get far. He had already heard her life story and what had been happening to her lately. She tried to interest him in the news, then remembered that he had been watching the news when he learned of his father's death. She wanted to comfort him, encourage him, point him toward God, but she was at a loss. She had no idea how to reach him.
"I promised Bruce we would all be in church Sunday morning," she tried at one point.
"You didn't promise him for me, I hope," Ryan said. "Everybody's always deciding for me what I'm going to do."
"You don't want to go?"
"'Course not. Haven't you figured that out yet?"
"I know you don't believe this stuff yet, but I'd think you'd want to check it out. Aren't you curious what Bruce is going to say to all the people who come looking for answers? I think it'll be cool just to see how many show up, what they're thinking, and how Bruce does. He says he's never really been a preacher, but he can't wait to tell these people about Jesus."
Ryan clammed up then.
"Well, I did tell Bruce I thought we would all be there," Vicki added. "But you made no promises, so it's up to you."
"I'll probably come," Ryan said, as if he had no choice. Vicki thought that showed progress. It was totally up to him, and he was pretending to reluctantly go along.
Ryan wandered up to his room, the one that used to belong to Judd's little brother, Marc. Vicki got out the Bible Bruce had given her and started reading in the New Testament where he had told her to begin. Who would have ever thought, she wondered, that she would want to read the Bible at all, let alone on her own when no one was making her?
-----+-----
Lionel wasn't comfortable with Judd yet. As they rode into Chicago, he found himself having to work at holding his end of the conversation. He was sort of amused at Judd. He had been a rich kid from a good home who had tried to blend in with the bad kids and the rebels. Lionel knew the type. He found Judd sort of plain and not at all a tough guy or streetwise. That made it funny to him that Judd had tried to be something he was not.
In fact, he was so far from the image he had tried to project that it was laughable.
Lionel had to admit that Judd had changed pretty quickly. With the goatee gone and him no longer wearing all black, Judd started to look like a normal, suburban teen.
Lionel asked him about the details of the visit to the morgue. When Judd told him what Bruce had spelled out, Lionel said, "You know, I think I can handle this myself. Your car is not going to be safe down there, so you should probably stay with it. I won't be long."
Lionel thought Judd would put up a fuss, insisting on talking with the authorities himself. So far Judd had seemed to enjoy playing the big shot. But to Lionel's surprise, Judd seemed relieved. Yeah, OK," he said quickly. "That's probably a good idea. I'll stay with the car, you do this stuff, and then we'll be out of there."
When Judd finally pulled in to the small, fenced lot behind the gray morgue building, he handed Lionel the sheet with the contact name. "I'll be right out," Lionel said.
He had prepared himself, he thought, for this moment. He had to be sure andré was dead, and there was no better way than to see his body for himself. Lionel had always hated funerals, and he had been to his share for someone thirteen years old. What he hated most was the filing past the bodies. He always peeked at them, but he didn't stop and linger. He knew this would not be easy.
He had seen a lot of movies where someone had to identify a body. The coroner or medical examiner or whoever would dramatically yank the sheet away, and the identifier would collapse from the shock. Lionel didn't want that to happen. He knew andré was in danger most of his life, and whether he really killed himself or had been murdered, it was no surprise that he had come to the end so soon. But he didn't want to be shocked by some horrible sight.
Left Behind - The Kids 02 - Second Chance Page 8