by CR Robertson
“Who knows with Uncle Lucas? It could be anything from some asshole pissing him off or the gardener looking at Catarina the wrong way.”
It was true. Lucas Black was the most complicated man I knew. Xavier sat on his seat on the Council while he claimed he was too involved raising his daughters since their mother’s death years ago. In his “spare time” he ran his distilleries and the biggest criminal organisation that I knew of. Yet, he came across as nothing more than an indulgent father. Good luck to the first man who laid a finger on one of those daughters.
Technically, that could be me… I wanted to lay so much more than a finger on her.
“Is he wanting us to prune his gardener’s ambitions?” I asked with a twitch of my lips.
Jordan glanced up from his phone. “He’d want us to fertilise the flower beds with him if he went anywhere near the girls.”
I knew his reputation. Lucas Black wouldn’t think twice about killing me and making it look like an accident. Maybe I was a sadistic asshole, but something about the challenge excited me. Add in the fact that I hadn’t been able to get Lucrezia out of my head and I was stupid enough to push my luck and defy every piece of sanity I possessed for the prize.
Lucrezia Black had activated something in me from the moment she looked at me in that restaurant. She didn’t see the man the rest of the world knew, her eyes had bored deep into me and searched for the pitiful husk that resided under an Armani suit and Rolex watch.
She made my cold, black heart feel for the first time in too long. That could either end in ecstasy or in unmitigated disaster.
***
Chapter Nine
Lucrezia
I sat in my special reading nook Papa had created in the hall window that overlooked the garden. My pencils were in the velvet pouch beside me and my sketchpad was inside the cover of the book I was pretending to read. The light here was better than anywhere else in the house and I tended to take inspiration for my designs from nature.
The sound of motorbike engines sounded on the driveway outside the house. My back straightened and every muscle in my body stilled. There was only one person who visited here on motorbikes. My cousin Xavier and his friends.
Ash.
For the past two weeks, I’d checked my phone about twenty times a day to see if he messaged me. It had become a daily ritual, and my heart sped up every time an alert sounded on my phone. I’d envisaged his phone being stolen or damaged or Ash being injured.
Out of the corner of my eye, I watched the three black bikes travelling up the last part of the driveway. Three meant Ash was here. My heart leapt into my throat and my mouth dried.
Papa moved through the entrance hall and flung the doors open. I couldn’t move even if I wanted to because my legs felt weak. The latest design in my book had been a pair of cufflinks for Ash to wear to the IJS with me. There seemed little point me wearing jewellery without him adorned with a matching piece.
Male voices sounded outside and my stomach tightened as footsteps approached. Papa strode in with his arm around Xavier, gesturing as he spoke. Xavier smiled and waved at me, and my hand lifted in greeting. Jordan wandered in and winked at me as he followed. It was the last man who had my complete attention. Ash closed the door behind him, his eyes finding and locking with mine.
I forgot how to breathe.
There was a magnetism to him that made me want to crawl to him on my knees. He commanded me without even saying a word. I didn’t know what I expected, but him pursing his lips and walking away as if I didn’t exist wasn’t it. I watched his retreating figure and felt loss to the depths of my soul. As soon as they had disappeared with Papa, I gathered my book and pencils in my trembling hands and crept up the stairs to hide in my room the same way I had done in the past.
Something inside me fractured at his indifference, a vital part of me that helped me to breathe. I sat on the floor beside the patio doors to my balcony with my knees tucked against my chest, tears streaming down my chest.
One day. He had given me attention for one day and this was the result. I rested my chin on my knees and slowly counted to one hundred. Every number signified a brick in the wall around me, every breath cemented them in place. I was my papa’s daughter and no one would ever break me. Even when I heard male voices outside about an hour later, I stayed here in my quiet place.
Two raps at the door signalled Madison coming in. “You okay?” She stared down at me sitting in the place I tended to go to when I needed to think. She was the only person who knew how I’d felt about Ash, and I hadn’t waited to share the story about what had happened in London with her, minus the moments that he stole my sanity. Those were mine alone to savour, but she knew how I felt.
I shook my head, a tear escaping.
“Why can I not just get him out of my system?” I asked, leaning my head back against the wall. “Catarina would stamp all over him in her Louboutin heels and wipe her feet on the way out.”
Madison sat beside me and took my hand in hers. “Catarina is a different person to you. One day she will find a man who will tame her, but until that day, she is your papa’s problem.”
“I feel useless, Madison. Any other girl my age knows about men and life. I live in a fortress with no escape route. I have zero skills with flirting, even less when it comes to intimacy. Sometimes, I feel like I will never leave this life.”
She nudged me with her shoulder. “Your mama always said that she knew from the moment she saw your papa that he was the one she would marry. Maybe her daughters will be the same? You don’t need to kiss a chorus of frogs to find Prince Charming. Sometimes he’s right under your nose all along.”
I rested my head on her shoulder. “Did you ever find Prince Charming?”
Her shoulders lifted and fell as she sighed. “So long ago that the memory of his laugh has begun to fade. We were teenagers when we met and I fell hard and fast. Sometimes first love is the truest.”
“What happened?” I squeezed her hand.
“He was killed in a motorbike crash on a country road. The car never saw him and pulled out of a side road.”
“Madison!” I spun to grab her in a hug.
“He had barely an injury on him, just a broken neck.” She gave me a shaky smile. “But the moral of this story is that just because Ash is the first man you fell for doesn’t mean that he isn’t the right one for you. Instead of hiding in here, you need to remember that you are a strong and powerful woman who has created her own business. He would be lucky for you to even give him a second look.”
A smile curved my lips because over the years Madison claimed the mothering role in my life. She used to put plasters on my knees when I fell off my bike or out of a tree, she plaited my hair for school, and she listened when I needed someone to talk to.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
“What for?”
“For reminding me who I am. Some days I forget that Papa is a badass and Mama was a beautiful, strong woman who had the ability to wrap that badass around her little finger.”
Madison laughed and tugged me to my feet. “A relationship is a partnership where both people are equal. However, you need to learn what presses that man’s buttons. He has a cold exterior, but I would bet my best porcelain teapot on the fact that under that surface is an inferno of emotions ready to erupt. Watch him and learn what makes him react, then press those buttons until you bring him to his knees.”
My eyes widened. “What am I supposed to do with him then?”
She winked at me as her lips twitched into a mischievous grin. “Then you can do anything you want with him.” Madison let go of my hand and moved toward the door. “Your papa wants a barbeque, so if you have time, join me in the kitchen.”
Papa liked to stand in front of a grill and pretend he was cooking for everyone, when in reality he merely finished what Madison spent hours preparing. “Give me five minutes to change and I’ll come and help.”
Madison was more than capable of puttin
g together a meal for everyone, but this was her way of watching over me. If I was standing beside her in the kitchen, I wasn’t sulking in my room. The kitchen was huge with drying herbs hanging from wooden racks that operated on a mechanism that allowed Madison to move them up and down. The utility room had two massive fridges and three freezers because we catered for all the security officers on duty. Frozen meals were left in one of the freezers for them to ding in the microwave at any time of the day or night.
While Madison prepared the salads and breads, I created sweet temptations for afterward. There was no time to bake some of the desserts that Papa preferred, but a meringue roulade took fifteen minutes in the oven, and brownies twenty-five minutes, so they would have to do with those, along with cookies, as I had frozen dough that was ready to be used at a moment’s notice.
Madison put on the radio in the background as she finished marinating the meat before she took it outside. I tended to eat more in the kitchen when preparing the food than when we sat down to eat it, and devoured the crispy end of a ciabatta as I sliced it.
The oven timer pinged and I lifted the roulade out before putting the tin filled with gooey brownie batter inside. There was homemade vanilla ice cream in the freezer to accompany it.
“You seem very domesticated,” a male voice said from behind me. Ash.
My ass was up in the air and was not my most flattering feature. I had had no intention of seeing anyone tonight, so put on my black yoga pants and pink vest top. My hair was in a messy bun on top of my head, and I wore no make-up.
I straightened slowly to turn around and face him. “This is my home,” I replied. “Domesticity means home or family life.”
He stood with his hip braced against the counter and his arms folded across his chest. The angel on my shoulder pleaded with me to be nice, the demon on my other shoulder screamed in my ear that he was an asshole and to ignore him. I was stuck in the middle between them in the confused no man’s land.
Ash regarded me with that expression that tended to leave me breathless and searching for words. To hide my confusion, I wandered to the freezer to retrieve the cookie dough I’d made batches of. He watched as I sliced into the cylindrical dough and placed them on a cooking tray. When I made the batches, I tended to make several flavours, so I made extra for the guards to eat later.
I stopped on my way back from the freezer, my hands landing on my hips. “Is there something I can do for you?”
He shrugged. “I have your stones with me.”
My heart leapt, but my pride stood resolute. “I thought everything was cancelled since I hadn’t heard from you.”
His head canted slightly to the side. “Have I hurt your feelings?”
“Not at all.” I gave him my best practiced smile. “I have to have feelings about someone for them to be hurt. We had a business arrangement, nothing more.”
So that he didn’t see too much with those piercing eyes of his, I started to put the salad components that Madison prepared into a large glass bowl. It gave my hands something to do and me the excuse not to engage in conversation. I didn’t possess the emotional tools to deal with a man like Ash. I’d been foolish to even think I did.
“What exactly do you want me to do with all those diamonds?” he asked in a calm voice that sent danger signals all the way up my spine.
I looked up and offered him my brightest smile. “If you invoice me the details, I’ll send the funds across to you.”
His brow furrowed and he opened his mouth to say something but Madison walked in.
“This is a kitchen, Ash, not a social venue. Out you go!” She shooed him out before turning her attention to me. “Sounded like you needed help there before you burnt all your bridges.”
My teeth bit into the side of my mouth. “He had my phone number and never once sent me a message about them,” I defended.
“Francis said he had to pull some serious strings to get you into that jewellery show. It’s okay to be hurt and confused, but it’s not okay to wreck your future.” She grabbed my hands in hers. “You’ve spent years learning to design and craft jewellery. Accept the help offered and take this opportunity for the world to see who you really are.”
I nodded my agreement and returned to my cookies because I felt confused. It wasn’t the first time that I wished I possessed the confidence of Catarina. Ash baffled me with his moods—one moment he was colder than ice, the next, smouldering so hot that he’d burn my fingers.
Papa stood at the huge open fire outside, turning meat on the grill while be puffed on one of the cigars he received from his friend who lived in Cuba. I used the same trick that I used anytime I accompanied Papa to one of his functions, keeping my eyes focused on one point and ignoring everything around me. Right now, I needed to keep my emotions in control or I would either scream at Ash or sink to my knees at his feet.
I set the salad and assorted breads on the wooden bench made from one of the fallen trees from the estate. Jordan sat propped up on one of the loungers, Xavier stood beside Papa, but Ash sat close to the door, his eyes concealed by the dark sunglasses that gave him a dangerous edge. He’d had his hair cut, so it was shorter at the back than it had been the last time I saw him, but it still flopped over his forehead.
“Lucrezia, could you organise more drinks for our guests?” Papa asked, before returning to puffing his cigar.
For years, I did everything Papa asked because his word was law. He was the only parent we had and my sisters and I had loved him completely and unconditionally. There was no reason for his suggestion to bug me today, only it did.
“Drinks cabinet is in the library, guys. Ice is in the kitchen.” Papa’s attention zeroed in on me as if I’d committed the greatest sin and a flash of lightning was currently heading in my direction to smite me down.
Ash’s lips twitched in amusement, his head coming up to stare at me.
“Lucrezia!” It was the tone that should have sent me scurrying to carry out his command, but the little demon on my shoulder had bound and gagged the angel and was now fully in control.
“Yes, Papa?” I gave him the vacant expression that the men at the functions seemed to appreciate. The one that said I was only a silly woman who didn’t understand the conversation. Boarding school had taught me more than just the curriculum.
“It’s fine, Lucas.” Jordan grinned and winked at me. “We’re big boys and know how to open a bottle. Lucy is busy sorting out our dinner, she’s not a slave.”
Jordan had been the closest thing we had to a big brother. He was the first one to jump to our defence and the last one out of a fight because he didn’t leave until every last problem was dealt with. Sometimes family wasn’t blood, it was a connection.
“You need a hand?” Jordan asked.
“Nope. Madison and I have nearly finished. Your brownies are in the oven now.” His smile told me he was pleased without the words. Jordan had an incredibly sweet tooth even though he would pass as a model with his looks and figure. The man must spend ten hours a day at the gym.
“You better have ice cream,” he replied with mock severity.
“The extra calories will make you fat.”
He threw his head back and laughed. “Guess I’ll have to work them off later.”
I shook my head at him as I moved back into the house, but it was the tightening of Ash’s jaw that made me nearly stumble over my feet.
Madison had created another platter with cheeses and sliced fruits on it in my absence. “You spoil Papa,” I chided her.
“He gave me and Francis a home when we lost ours,” she replied. “Setting up a barbeque for him isn’t strenuous.”
She was our housekeeper, but Papa had always treated her as part of the family. It was his way. He picked up the lost and lonely and gave them a home. I took the cookies and brownies out of the oven and set them on the cooling tray before leaving the kitchen.
Food was the last thing on my mind right now. One stupid day with Ash in London and al
l the teenage infatuation that I had buried deep inside had re-emerged with a vengeance. Jordan was gorgeous as well, but he never had this effect on me. I was just going to have to put my trainers on and run my ass off on the treadmill to get my head straight.
A strong arm grabbed me around the waist, a hand covering my mouth just as I was about to scream in shock.
“Since you had your little tantrum, maybe you’d like to discuss your business like adults.” Holy moly. Ash’s voice made my stomach flip as his breath fanned my ear.
My little demon was working overtime right now and definitely needed to be muzzled, because instead of stamping on Ash’s foot and slapping his face for manhandling me, I licked his hand. His body stiffened behind mine, but the arm around my waist tightened.
“Did you just lick me?”
I used the tip of my tongue to trace a circle in the middle of his palm before flicking it against where the middle would be.
“Fuck,” he hissed behind me.
He made my brain malfunction every time he was close. The aloof ice princess melted and became a depraved, wanton hussy who wanted to wrap herself around him.
My head spun as he swung me around and my back hit the wall. Those blue eyes bored into mine and everything vanished from my head in a heartbeat. All that remained was that magnetic pull that existed every time he was close to me.
“You need to stop playing with fire,” he warned.
My tongue swept across my lips and his gaze moved to my mouth for a moment. “You need to stop ignoring me.”
His hands grasped my wrists and pinned them to the wall at either side of my head. “Do I look like I’m ignoring you?”
I stared at him without speaking. He wasn’t ignoring me, but I didn’t know what this was, either.
Ash’s head descended until his lips touched my ear as he spoke. “Your papa would kill me for my thoughts right now.”
My mouth fell open and my head rested back on the wall. He was pressed tight into my body, and for the first time in my life, I felt a man’s erection against me. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry because I’d spent years seducing him in my head only to be ignored.