by CR Robertson
“Can you activate her tracker?” I asked Jordan after sending about two million text messages.
“No. Only Lucas has the code. Do you want to tell him we’ve lost his youngest daughter?” He gave me that look of his that stared directly into your soul. “What happened with her?”
“I think she finally believed me that we couldn’t be together,” I said in a low tone.
“That girl has had hearts in her eyes for you for years. She went quiet after she saw you with that girl in Rome, hiding every time you arrived in Tuscany. Then you ride in as her white knight. What the fuck did you think would happen?”
“What?” I had zero clue what he was talking about.
“Seriously? You never noticed her?”
My brow furrowed. “She was Xavier’s little cousin. She was shy and tended to hide from everyone.”
He rolled his eyes at me. “She hid from you, not everyone.”
This situation was even more fucked up than I imagined.
Jordan’s phone chimed. He stared down at it and his shoulders sank in relief. “She’s been out for a run and is on her way back. Fucking idiot. I’ll strangle her when I get my hands on her.”
He’d have to wait in line because I was tying her to the bed and leaving her there.
Minutes felt like hours as the clock tormented me in the corner. I picked up my phone and sent another text.
No reply.
I dialled her number and the phone was turned off. “She’s either blocked me or her phone is off.”
Jordan lifted his phone. “Fuck it all to hell and back!” He strode into the hall. “Francis!”
I knew without anyone having to tell me. Each step weighed heavily on my soul as I walked upstairs. Her cases were gone and her stuff with them. The only thing that remained of hers was underwear in the dirty laundry hamper in my bathroom because Francis would never think to look there for any of her stuff.
I’d taken some beatings in my life, but I’d never been sucker-punched like this before.
Lucrezia was gone. She’d fucking walked straight out of my life without a backward glance. Worse was the moment that I realised she had taken my worthless heart with her.
“I’m not going to ask, because Lucas would kill both of us.” Jordan stood watching me at the door. “But right now, you look the way I felt when I had to let Megan go.”
“I was trying to protect her,” I whispered, nausea burning a path up my throat.
“I know.” His hand landed on my shoulder. “It doesn’t ease the pain. All these years later, she’s still the only woman I want and can’t have.”
“My father would destroy her just to watch me in pain.”
His hand tightened in understanding. “One day she’ll understand. Just not today.”
It was true that you only realised the value of something when it wasn’t there anymore. Lucrezia had been more valuable than that entire room of diamonds. She was the rarest of all the precious stones because she was a pure soul in the middle of our fucked-up existence.
Jordan poured the drinks and we drank ourselves into oblivion. Maybe enough alcohol could numb the pain since I was drowning under the emotional weight of it. Staring at the moon outside the window, I knew she was out there somewhere and I couldn’t reach her. Why the fuck had I pushed her away? Everything only made sense when she was with me, Lucrezia was the only one who made me feel in a world of numbness.
I studied Jordan and saw the same pain on his face. He walked away from the love of his life to keep her safe. Could I really do the same? Could I stand and watch as some cocky asshole stood beside her and took her to bed to fuck her politely?
A beast roared free in my chest. I would rip the hand of any man who even considered touching her. This life had taken so much from me, I refused to let it have the one thing I truly desired. Lucrezia may have walked away but she’d signed a contract that bound her to me and I would use any means in my power to make her mine. That cold, deadly darkness enveloped me until it froze my soul. I was a Blackwood and we took what we wanted.
***
Chapter Twenty-Three
Lucrezia
The woman staring back at me didn’t look like me. Her face was puffy, her eyes were red, and her hair was a crazy mess on top of her head that something had probably nested in two nights ago when I arrived here to crawl under the duvet.
Francis sometimes brought me food to tempt me, but nothing appealed to me enough to eat it. My phone lay turned off beside my bed, and my case still lay where it fell on the floor. If I didn’t love him, I probably would have been happy enough to stay there. Once the realisation hit that he owned my heart, the need to protect myself from further destruction made me find shelter to lick my wounds.
How had everything gone so wrong?
Noises downstairs floated up, it was probably the delivery guy with our groceries. I picked up my phone from beside my bed for what felt like the millionth time, the need to turn it on and phone Ash consuming me. For weeks we’d chatted on the phone about everything and nothing until it had been part of my daily routine.
I missed him so much that it physically hurt.
Setting the phone down, I then crawled back into bed and pulled the duvet over my head. I’d maybe face the world tomorrow. My stomach cramped because I think the pancakes a few days ago had been the last substantial meal I ate.
The duvet was pulled off me and I gasped at the cool air that assaulted me. A shadow descended over me and my eyes travelled up over the tall frame of an irate Ash.
“Good morning, Angel. Time to get your ass up and sort out your display for tomorrow.”
Why the fuck did he look so good while I was a mess? Oh yes, because he didn’t love me.
“Fuck off, Ash.” I grabbed the duvet and tried to cover myself in it. “Francis will be up in a minute to throw you out.”
The duvet was tossed across the room, and he bent down until his dark blue eyes met mine. “Francis will not be coming up. You signed a contract. Get your ass out of bed and fulfil your side of it.”
I glared at him. “The pieces are complete. Sell them and get you money back.”
His knee made the bed dip as he knelt over me. “Get up, Lucrezia, or I’ll drag your ass down there.”
“Fuck off.”
“Fine, we can do this the difficult way.”
Too late, I realised that Ash was really pissed, and that translated into me seeing the other side of him that I’d never been exposed to before. His hands grabbed me to toss me over his shoulder as if I weighed nothing more than the towel I’d seen him flinging over the same shoulder a few days ago after he’d dried his hair.
He unceremoniously dumped my ass in the bath and turned the shower on above me. I screamed when the water froze me. “Bastard!”
The Ash who pampered me and smiled indulgently at me was gone. In his place was a stranger with his arms folded across his chest. “Now that I have your attention, you signed a contract with me. I told you not to, but you went ahead. That show is tomorrow and every other artist has been there organising their stuff. Grow the fuck up, Lucrezia, and stop acting like a whiny little brat. You wanted people to not treat you like a child, so stop acting like one.”
His words felt like a slap across my face. “Get out of my bathroom.”
He took a step forward. “Make me.”
My temper rose and the way his lips twitched made my palms itch to strike out at him. “If you don’t get out, I’ll…” I paused because I didn’t know what I would do.
“You’ll what? Scream? Throw another temper tantrum? Go ahead.”
I pursed my lips together as the water pounded down on top of me. Traitorous tears threatened to roll down my cheeks. “Go away, Ash.”
“That’s your party trick, Lucrezia. It didn’t take you twenty-four hours from saying you wouldn’t run to doing just that.” His eyes narrowed in disgust. “Get washed and dressed or do you need me to do that as well?”
I s
lowly turned my back to him. Whoever this was, it wasn’t the Ash who I’d talked to into the darkness of the night while cocooned in his arms. This stranger scared me. I adjusted the water, hauling my soaking vest and leggings off.
He was sitting on the end of my bed when I wandered back into the bedroom dressed in only a towel.
I eyed him warily. “I don’t want to go to the show.”
“Tough, then you shouldn’t have demanded a contract for the business. Jay is the best person I know at writing contracts, and considering that you are directly linked to the brand, you need to be there.”
“Don’t make me do this.”
He stood, and the height that had always felt comforting in the past, now intimidated. “Or what, Lucrezia? You’ve already proven you don’t give a fuck about me. This is business, pure and simple. Get dressed, we leave in twenty minutes.”
I watched in disbelief as he strode from the room. How did this become my fault? He had been the one who broke my heart, yet he was here acting as if I was the villain of this story. For a brief moment, I considered sneaking out the back of the house, but something told me that Ash wouldn’t fall for that twice.
Dressed in black trousers and a red silk blouse, I left my hair loose. Every step downstairs made fear churn in my stomach and butterflies pound a warning beat in my chest. Jordan sat in the living room with his right leg crossed over his left as he typed on his phone. He finally glanced up and threw me a filthy look before returning to his phone.
My actions were finally catching up with me. I’d told him I was on my way home and turned my phone off. Francis was making French toast in the kitchen, his face tight with anger. Ash paced up and down in the utility room, arguing with someone on his phone. I touched Francis’ arm and he shook his head in warning. He’d obviously already felt the wrath of the two men here.
I sat at the table because I didn’t know what to do. Jordan had always been an ally. Ash had been my lover and confidant. Now, I was left with anger and resentment. Francis set a plate in front of me and a pot of tea a few minutes later. My throat felt sore from all the crying and it hurt to swallow. I forced it down by sipping my tea.
Ash seemed taller, his aura more menacing, a stranger inhabiting my lover’s body. When he saw me watching him, he turned his back to me and the ache in my heart increased. The expression in his eyes said he’d turned off everything he felt for me and was here only because of the money he’d invested.
Today, I discovered a new level of loneliness.
“You ready?” Jordan stood watching me at the kitchen door. “You’ll need to grab whatever you need to sort all this out. Ash had the pieces and the display sent to the exhibition hall. I tagged them all before they went.”
“I can’t do this,” I whispered before biting into my trembling bottom lip.
“You should have considered that before signing a business contract and then running away and hiding.” He gave me the big brother stare he’d mastered years ago. “We need to go, we’re already behind.”
I didn’t want to ask about Ash, since Jordan was making it clear that he was taking me. Not knowing what to take, I put my laptop and tablet in my bag and joined him in the hall. The first half of the drive was stony silence before Jordan’s temper snapped.
“You lied to me, Lucy. I thought we were family.”
I watched out the window with unseeing eyes. “I was hurt and confused.”
“And that allowed you to act like a child?”
I wanted to deny that, but I was starting to view my behaviour through their eyes. “You wouldn’t understand.”
“Try me,” he grated out. “I walked away from the woman I loved to keep her safe. I’ve buried my emotions for the greater good and to ensure the protection of others. The guys and me spend our days running around fixing problems that keep increasing. Cassandra nearly died the other night, only we saved her. Then you decide to be a fucking diva and go missing when we were exhausted and already on edge.”
“I…”
“Enough!” Jordan almost shouted. “I expected better from you, Lucrezia. I don’t know or want to know what has been going on between you and Ash, but he didn’t deserve what you did to him. He’s moved heaven and earth to help you, and what do you do when he’s at his lowest point? You kick him and walk away.”
Jordan never called me by my full name. The weight of his displeasure crushed me, especially since he was the one always on my side.
“Why was Ash at his lowest point?” I finally asked, my hands grasped together in my lap.
Jordan pulled the car over and stopped. He turned to stare at me. “Do you really want to know? Because Lucas has kept you all hidden from the real world for too long. We live in a world of darkness and death, Lucrezia. Sometimes it comes too close to home.”
I stared at him, chewing the side of my mouth. “No matter how many times I asked Ash, he constantly told me that I didn’t need to know, even when I knew he was in pain.”
“Lucas runs an international organisation that is less than legal. He opposes another similar organisation that our families sit on. Ash’s father is brutal and ruthless. He abused him from an early age to make him strong. Ash’s brother Michael has been sentenced to death and the order has been signed by his father who is chairperson on our Council. On top of that, he has to deal with his mother, who is slowly sinking into alcoholism.”
I sat in stunned silence. Ash never alluded to a happy childhood and I knew his father had a lot of affairs, but nothing like this. Shame washed over me.
“The night before you went walkabout, we had to rescue Xavier’s girlfriend because she’d been abducted. She has a fractured rib and is on bed rest. Can you imagine what you put me and Ash through when you ran away?” His expression was ferocious and I sank back into my seat. “I could fucking strangle you, Lucrezia.”
He gripped the steering wheel and stared out the windscreen in silence.
There was no point in me speaking because right now it wouldn’t matter what I said, he would probably tear my head off and throw it out the window. So I sat here and remained silent, contemplating everything that he’d told me. Maybe I’d been a bit hasty with my decision the other day, but I’d been hurt and vulnerable.
Minutes ticked past until Jordan cursed and slammed his fist into the steering wheel before starting the engine. He drove like a maniac possessed by a speed demon, while my fingernails dug into upholstery to try and anchor myself.
I trailed behind Jordan into the side entrance of the exhibition area like a naughty child being punished by their parent. Ash should have been with me. We’d planned to do this and go for lunch in a restaurant he knew beside the river. My heart fractured even further.
A security guard stepped forward to frisk Jordan. “I don’t fucking think so,” he snapped. “My own security men are already here. I’m carrying a firearm for her protection.” Jordan nodded in my direction before grabbing my wrist and hauling me behind him.
The expression and open mouth of the security guard would be hilarious at any other time, but today nothing felt humorous.
My feet stopped even before we made it to my display booth. I’d seen pieces of it, but never the entire display. A huge spherical moonstone was the central focus, with smaller crystals depicting the anatomy of the moon. A pool was created across the table in various green and blue crystals with pearls dispersed through it. He’d captured every element we’d discussed in our long phone calls.
My heart broke for an entirely different reason. No one would go to this much trouble for someone they didn’t care about.
Jordan was chatting to a beautiful, tall woman with deep red hair and bright blue eyes. He waved me over. “This is Annabelle. She’s the artist Ash employed to put this together.”
“It’s beautiful, thank you.” I could barely force the words through my numb lips.
“No, thank you,” she said, laughing. “He paid me a lot of money to put this together. You must be very spe
cial to him.”
She may as well have stabbed me through the heart because the pain was so sharp it caught my breath. I stepped toward the display so I didn’t have to speak to anyone. He’d created every detail, including the tree to one side with necklines carved into it to accommodate pendants and necklaces.
A hand reached out of the pond for the special water element ring I’d created with a matching bracelet.
“Your pieces are in the Peli cases over there.” Jordan nodded to several large black boxes accompanied by a stern-looking man in a black suit.
“Should we set them out and see how it looks?” Annabelle smiled at me.
“Sure.” My world had been decimated two days ago, but right now it was slowly crumbling and leaving me incapacitated. Ash had done all this and I had doubted him. He’d given me more than I could ever repay and I’d acted like a brat.
I tucked my hair behind my ears and started to unpack the heavy cases. The jewellery had been packed with infinite care and attention to detail. Annabelle and I set all the pieces out on display so they could be viewed before they were modelled tomorrow night.
“I know Ash is obviously off the market,” Annabelle said in idle conversation. “But what about him?” Her eyes were on Jordan. If he hadn’t been my big brother figure, I would have fallen for him long ago. Jordan never seemed to notice the female attention he gathered. If he did, he never reacted to it, constantly in his own world of pain and misery. Women loved an emotional challenge.
“Jordan was off the market a long time ago. His story is epically tragic.” Considering I only had one line to go from earlier, I decided to embellish.
“Pity. All the good-looking ones are taken.” She pouted and returned to the task at hand.
I wanted to say that Ash wasn’t taken, but the little demon on my shoulder practically shouted in my ear that he was ours alone and she could keep her gorgeous fingers off him.
When we finished, I looked around the room. Some of the displays were elegant, some blingtastic, but mine was unique in so many ways and I saw several people studying it covertly.