I nodded. He was right. It was.
“Well, I was done after that. Done being this person. A disappointment to myself. My kid. I’d figure out the money another way. I wasn’t going to bother Lacey about it again. Wasn’t going to bother her again, period. The fact I went to her in the first place confirmed I really shouldn’t be a part of her life, and I never intended on trying to seek her out again. But when I saw her at the cemetery with her mama…”
His pursed his lips, his face red. “I just couldn’t stay away. I still owed the money, but the thought didn’t even cross my mind. I just wanted to reconnect with her. Wanted whatever small piece she could give of herself so I could be in her life again. To my surprise, she was willing. I was extremely grateful.”
Of course, she was. Lacey’s heart was always so big. He took advantage of that.
“I was meeting her at a coffeehouse when I was approached again by those guys. The deadline was up. I told them I didn’t have it, but I made the mistake of telling them originally I had a source. It didn’t take them long to figure out it was her. My daughter is real famous around here.”
I put my hands together, looking away.
“They roughed me up. Took my cell phone and attempted to get the money directly. I couldn’t stop them.”
I couldn’t have been more sickened. Disgusted by a person. The minute he saw Lacey at the cemetery he should have cut ties, but he didn’t. He didn’t because he was selfish. He was a weak and pathetic man who didn’t deserve the title of her father, and I was about to let him know.
I looked at him. “Do you realize what you’ve done? How she’s suffered because of you? As soon as you ran into her you should have left her alone.”
He swallowed hard, lowering his head. “I know.”
“You couldn’t possibly know.” I pointed back at the house. “It took weeks for her to leave her bed. For her to finally have the energy to be able to be a part of the world again. Whoever you owed money to ran her off the road. By the grace of God she survived, but I can’t say the same about everyone that was in that car with her.”
His brow wrinkling, he slid his hands out of his pockets. “What do you mean?”
“Lacey was pregnant. Did you know that? No, you didn’t because she didn’t even know. She never even got the chance to know. Those people after you took that from her. You took that from her… and me.”
I never got the chance to catch his reaction to all the information I divulged because I felt myself on the cusp of unraveling again. The emotions came back to me in a wave, gripped upon me and spun me to my mental breaking point. Instead of doing something I’d regret, I stood. “I think we’re done here.”
Forcing control of my legs, I turned to move in the opposite direction from him.
“Last month.”
Despite myself, I stopped. I stopped.
“Last month, I did come here. I came here looking for my daughter for none other than selfish reasons, and I’m man enough to admit that.”
I didn’t know why, but in that moment, I decided to hear him out. To listen. I turned and faced him, leaning against one of the back porch’s columns.
He touched his hand to his chest. “I’ve made a lot of mistakes. I know that, but one thing I’ll never regret is coming back for her. Getting clean for her. I readily accept the fact that she’ll never want anything to do with me again, but she needs to know that I want to be in her life. That I’ve always wanted that.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “You’re still trying to fuck up her life. Still so selfish that you’re willing to wrap her up in your bullshit? Why can’t you do the responsible thing and let her live her life in peace? What’s going to happen when those men come after her again?”
“Those men won’t be a problem.”
“Really, why?”
“I’m working off my debt. Doing some runs for them. I didn’t want back into that life, but I’m willing to do whatever it takes to keep Lacey safe.”
His words weren’t ones I was expecting to hear from a coward, from someone who clearly had a history of looking out for himself and no one else. He was really willing to go back to that lifestyle for her? “What if you end up back in jail?”
“She’s worth anything I have to do.”
“I hope you don’t expect anything. Just because you are willing do anything doesn’t mean you’ll have any type of future with her. That will be up to her.”
“I don’t. I just wanted her to know she was wanted. I needed her to know that. Please tell her for me.”
I didn’t have to dismiss him after that. He took it upon himself. He stepped away to leave, but stopped at a sound behind me. I turned.
Lacey.
She stared at the man ahead in her slippers and robe, her head tilted, her dark eyes studying him.
I went to her, attempting to guide her back inside. “Lacey, you shouldn’t be out here.”
She left my hands, and I found myself unable to stop her. I watched her go to the man she looked so much alike, the man whose eyes glassed more and more as she approached him. Reaching up ever so slowly, she put her hand out to him. She made contact with his cheek, and he drew in a breath. Like her touch sent a charge inside him. Like her fingers sparked life.
He touched her hand with his, and he could no longer keep his tears away from the young woman in front of him. They dripped down his cheeks, never-ending.
Out of nowhere, she spoke. “I forgive you, Daddy.”
She’d only said four words, but I think those were the ones he’d longed for more than anything in the world. Her arms went around him, and I was no longer a part of the moment as his arms went around her. I watched in fascination, seeing that it was possible that someone who had been hurt so much in her life was still able to forgive the very subject of her pain. Lacey Douglas really was the strongest person I’d ever known, and she inspired me more and more every day.
Chapter Fifty-Six
Drake
That night, I used a key I hadn’t used in a long time. Toured a house I had no guarantee I’d ever return to, yet here I was. Home. My room was the same. They hadn’t changed a thing. I ran my fingers across my dresser.
She even dusted for me. Like I would be here. Like I’d return any day. It reminded me of those stories I’d heard of mothers who lost children. They kept things their children owned the same. Frozen in time. Had my mom felt a similar loss?
Heels clacked from behind me, but stopped.
“Your sister told me you were coming,” she said, her voice echoing lightly in the room so silent before.
I turned, taking my mom in. Though it was evening, she was still polished. Pristine and beautiful as always. She had a white turtleneck dress on, her hair wrapped in a tight bun. My mom never did allow a hair to be out of place.
She was so familiar to me, but different at the same time. To start, she looked like she aged years in less than one. Her makeup couldn’t hide the stress, the lines of worry that had creased her eyes. Despite that, she looked the happiest I had ever seen her. Her eyes watered with unshed tears, combining with her joy.
She came over to me slowly, her heels sounding on the wood floor.
She stopped in front of me, her hands clenching at her sides like she was fighting herself from touching me.
I didn’t want her to fight.
There was no hesitation when I put my arms around her, and her small body shook in my arms.
She gasped, and I knew she was crying. “I love you, Truman,” she whispered into my ear, running her fingers through my hair like she used to when I was a kid. “And I’m so sorry, sweetheart. So very sorry.”
I had been strong for a long time, but when she said that, I could no longer see through my cloudy eyes.
*
I talked with my mom for a long time. We sat on the couch in the living room, sipping, of all things, hot chocolate. She even put in the extra marshmallows I liked. I only let her because she needed that
. She needed that, and I needed this.
Her.
I told her everything. The contents of nearly an entire year in a few hours. She listened the whole time. For the first time, she listened. When I got to the part about Lacey’s accident, our child, her reaction couldn’t have shocked me more. There was no judgment. She simply brought me into her arms again and told me to invite Lacey over for dinner. She wanted to see her.
I ended the evening by handing her back the files I’d made Adele take for me without her permission. It wasn’t to give them back, though. It was to do this with her. Alongside her and with her help.
Before I left, I had one final request. My mom wasn’t surprised at all. In fact, I had never seen her happier. She was actually happy. Happy. Genuinely.
Chapter Fifty-Seven
Lacey
The sun was warm again that morning, bright and wonderful as it shined through Drake’s second level window. It was like that nearly every morning now. Bright and wonderful.
I opened my eyes, pulling the blankets up to cover my chest. Last night was the final night I’d be staying at my aunt’s house in Drake’s second level. This day I thought would be a long time coming, but it wasn’t.
I turned, seeing the main reason why I was myself again, as well as the reason why I was achy yet another morning.
Drake slept peacefully on his back, one arm under the back of my neck and the other across his waist, his hand rested flat on his stomach. My heart thump rapidly at the sight of him, and I had to get closer for a better look.
I got snuggled in close under this arm, watching his body move up and down as he breathed. His broad chest followed down to some of the tightest abs I’d ever seen on a man. They could only be described like a chocolate bar, subdivided and perfect in every section, and the whole thing was covered with beautifully tanned skin.
His washboard went right into the sheets. The material bunched then raised right below his abs. That’s when I drew my lip into my mouth, nibbling on the back of my piercing. His length tented the sheets from his morning wood.
I moved my hand down and past his stomach. I wanted to touch him.
Pushing under the sheets, I got a hold of him, and he sucked in a breath from above. When he released it, the breath came out in a deep groan.
Grinning, I kissed his chest. I only stopped to move my tongue over his dark nipple. While doing so, I increased the pace of my hand around him.
His hand moved to my back, pressing my body flush against his. “Good morning,” he said, his voice deep and aroused.
I giggled, but didn’t stop kissing him. “Morning.”
The room filled with moans, both his and mine. I pushed myself up to get closer to his neck, but didn’t let go of him.
“Mmm… I want it, Drake,” I panted, running my tongue across his collarbone.
He grabbed my hips, lifting me to mount him. “Take it, baby.”
My eyes rolled back as I slid him inside me. My sex clenched around him, and I moved my hips, throwing my head back. He grunted. Bracing my body, he lifted his hips to match my movement.
He was so hard, so deep, and I pushed my hand into my hair, my breast bobbing as I rocked myself to the edge. This wasn’t going to last long this morning. I could feel it. My whole body shook, shuddering from my fast approaching orgasm.
I think Drake could feel that too. Grabbing my waist, he slid me off him and guided me to my back. He hung between a pair of toned, tan thighs, and the head of his length glistened with my arousal. He eased my legs apart, and in one single thrust, he slammed himself inside me.
I felt my earth shatter around me. His abs worked, clenching as he rocked me to my peak. My legs shook and I rolled my head back into his pillow. When he braced my thighs tightly, I knew it was over for him too. The wave of warmth shot into me, and I pressed my body against his to accept it. I collapsed with a breath, feeling him twitch inside me until he was done.
After sliding himself out of me, he left his bed gloriously naked. I cocked my head at the sight of his tight ass as he retrieved a fresh towel from his laundry.
He came back, wearing a curled grin, a mess of black hair atop his head. Knowing what he was doing, I opened my legs to let him clean me, and then went into his arms when he was done.
“I didn’t expect to be felt up first thing this morning,” he said.
I slapped his chest at the comment, and he gave his deep, throaty chuckle. “Don’t act like you didn’t want it too.”
He pressed me up against him, squinting from the bright morning light I loved so much in the room. “I always want you. Always.”
I brushed my nose against his chest, smelling that wonderful Juniper scent he had. I always wanted him too.
“I’m so happy you’re doing better, Lace.” He played with my hair, twisting his finger around one of my curls.
If not for him, I didn’t know where I’d be mentally. I firmly believed that his constant support and love kept me from an even darker place than I was at, as well as prevented the months of medication that would have come along with it. He saved me from it all. He saved me.
“Some days are still hard,” I told him. “But I’m glad I have you for when those times come.”
This made him smile. “You all set to move today?”
“Yep. Daddy’s coming to help.”
It was so weird hearing that word come from my lips, even though it had been a few weeks since my dad and me reconnected. He was a permanent part of my life now. I had my father back, and I was so grateful.
“You gave him the right address, right?”
I narrowed my eyebrows. “Yeah. Margot’s, right?”
With a sly smile, he leaned over to the side of the bed.
I pressed the blankets to my body, unsure of what he was up to. Drake had been awfully secretive lately, and I think he thought he was so smart that I’d never notice. Margot joked a few times that he was probably planning on proposing, but after the argument we got into about moving in with each other in Paris, I didn’t think she was right about that. If he wasn’t ready to move in together, he definitely wasn’t ready for that—
My mental thoughts stopped. Everything stopped at the sight of that little black box he now held in his hands, shyly presenting it to me.
“What’s that?” I whispered.
He shrugged. “Maybe you should open it.”
Oh, God.
Shakily, I took the box in hand. Was I ready for this? What the hell was I talking about? Of course, I was. I loved him. I loved him so much, and I was ready to get married to him. I popped open the box, and what I saw surprised me more than a potential engagement. It was a single key.
Jaw dropped, I looked up at him.
He laughed, picking it up from the box with two long fingers. “This is a key to an apartment.”
I could barely form words. “An apartment?”
“Mmmhmm. Located in the North Shore.”
“The North Shore?” I squeaked.
He nodded. “But the thing is, this apartment comes with a catch.”
“What catch?”
He lifted his other hand and opened it to me. The light caught on every glisten, every unique sparkle on each diamond in the palm of his hand. The double band was covered in them and they surrounded an oval gemstone. It was a lustrous and beautiful green.
I put my hand to my mouth. That’s all I could do.
“The jade was my great grandmother’s.” Taking the ring from his palm, he looked at me for my hand.
I easily gave it to him, and he slid the stunning ring onto my finger. It fit perfectly.
He held my hand in his, keeping the ring facing the light. “I had your ring made from hers.” Lifting my hand, he kissed it and gazed up at me. “I want the whole thing, Lace. I want you. I want a life together.”
I put my hand to my hair. Was this really happening? “You want to move in with me? You want to marry me? But what about what you said in Paris?”
He laced my fingers with his. “I did what you said, Lace. I did what you said before you left for Paris. I found something that makes me happy, and now, I need you to be a part of that.”
He did? He had?
“I’m reenrolling in school, but I plan to go to the University of Illinois at Chicago instead of Northwestern. I want to do my education on my own terms. I think going to a state school is best for me. I’ll get to be around a really diverse crowd. People from all walks of life and socioeconomic backgrounds.”
I found I had to take a breath, so much was happening so fast, but what I was hearing excited me more and more with every word.
“I’m going to be double majoring in political science and Asian American studies. Meeting Natalia and seeing how much she does for the adoptee community really showed me something, Lace. I want to help people. People like me. I’ve already set up a donation from my trust into some of the programs she runs, and I plan on being very involved with them. I want you by my side as I do. I want your support.”
Oh, wow. Wait? “Your trust fund?”
He simply smiled.
I tilted my head, my lips turning up. “You talked to your family.”
“I did. They’re onboard. I was given partial control of my trust when I turned eighteen but hadn’t done anything with it. I want these programs to have the first thing I take from it.”
I stared in awe at the man in front of me. He left Chicago, shunning everything his family was trying to push onto him. When he came back, he accepted it, but only if that path was on his own terms. I admired him so much for that. He always said that I was the strong one, but I think he forgot about his own strength.
I gripped his hands. “So I get to be the Jackie Kennedy to your John as you move mountains? Create opportunities for adoptees?”
The Dividing Line Page 31