Redemptio Animae

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Redemptio Animae Page 14

by Sydney Gibson


  I tapped on two different files, filling the screen with the genetic breakdown of Rebecca's old heart and the genetic and chemical composition of her new heart. I also brought up the 3D image of her last heart scan and began to pull the images apart like I would if I was in surgery, cutting into the organ in person. "What have you done Erich?" I asked as my mind worked on the puzzle pieces before me.

  "I have run remapping sequences, run the regrowth simulator a handful of times with the notes you and I have compiled. I even tried to borrow some ideas from Emilana's success. Nothing seems to shout Eureka! at me Claire."

  I zoomed in on the main chamber of the floating digital heart in front of me. I could see the slight difference in the one wall Dr. Zehren spoke of. I double tapped it, moving the chemical structure with the genetic code to overlap on the image of her heart. My eyes darted over the layers, my fingers pulling the image to zoom in until I found something, anything different, hoping I would find a possible solution.

  I looked up at Dr. Zehren on the monitor, "Try comparing the new heart to the old one. I think if we increase the muscle regeneration on her weak side by tweaking the DNA strands and increasing her actin and myosin production it will help. I think we can do another regrowth simulator with the small changes I just suggested and see what the results are. I have a feeling we just need to build a stronger bond in her DNA."

  I set the tablet down, "Monitor the regrowth simulator in its early stages, if anything we will rebuild her heart one more time." I leaned back in the chair, curling my legs up underneath me, "Keep me updated on her progress and keep Rebecca as long as you need until we have gotten a new path worked out." I took a deep breath, "I cannot understand why Emilana's lung worked and continues to work flawlessly and yet we used the same process as we did for Rebecca and it's failing."

  Dr. Zehren smiled, pulling off his thin and stylish glasses, "Because my dear girl, the lung is a simple organ whereas the heart, the heart is a living breathing, electrically charged wonder of its own." He stared at me, "That is why it is often the perpetrator of humanities woes."

  I raised an eyebrow at him, "Your philosophical outlook is encouraging, Erich." I folded my arms, "While I have you here, is there any other issues or needs you have? I return to the capital in a couple of weeks to start pushing for the restructuring of organ transplant waiting lists in hospitals. Among the new clean water act I want to get to legislature to prevent illegal bio-medical waste dumping." I rubbed at my arms under the hooded sweatshirt I had gone to bed in, I was still wearing my pajamas of an old Paco's Taco Joint t-shirt and baggy sweatpants.

  Dr. Zehren looked around, obviously trying to think of something, "I need nothing in the political arena, Claire. You have done well keeping prying eyes away from the deep depths of our work here." He took in a slow breath, "However, there is one issue. We had another security breach a week ago. Ivan was able to trace the attempted hacker back to a CIA encrypted portal. He is currently investigating that further and in the meantime our databases are still safe." He put his glasses back on, "The email threats have increased in the last month, focusing on you and your support of genetic research is being deemed unholy by some fringe groups. I am beginning to get concerned that our enemies on both sides are inching closer, too close. I fear for your safety while Rebecca is with me, Claire."

  I smirked, "What has Rebecca told you about her replacement." I knew Rebecca would not, could not resist bending his ear about her unhappiness with my choice in hiring Kit as my new bodyguard.

  Dr. Zehren smirked in return, "Without so many expletive words, she feels the woman cannot keep you safe." His dark green eyes honed in on mine, "And what do you say about this Caitriona? Can we trust her in time and can I trust that she will keep my friend safe?"

  I held his stare for a minute, thinking about his question mixed with what had just almost happened in the bedroom. I swallowed, "She can and she will. Erich, I trust her with my life and I know she will do everything she can and has too to protect me." I said it firmly so as to not allude there was any hesitation that I trusted my life in Kit's hands. The only hesitation I felt was if I was beginning to let my heart fall into her hands along the way.

  Dr. Zehren grinned, "Rebecca is jealous and as I look in your eyes, I can see why." He winked at me as I felt the blush creep up. He moved a few files on his desk, "Hopefully I can meet this new woman soon. With that I must be off. I want to get started on the new regrowth simulator and by the looks of it Claire, you could use a nap. I will call you as soon as I have results." He winked at me one more time before ending the connection, letting the middle monitor fall back to the nondescript desktop wallpaper.

  I didn't hesitate in diving back into work. I didn’t want a moment to pass where my mind and thoughts could take over and return to analyzing the almost kiss and what Dr. Zehren had just commented on.

  Instead I poured over week long neglected Senate work until I either passed out or I forgot how soft the simplest touch of her lips was.

  The bright white light piercing my eyelids like they weren't even closed, forced one eye open. Everything was white around me. I forced the other eye open and saw nothing but white. I kept looking until I saw a black blurred shape in the middle of the room. I blinked twice and the blur formed into a small penguin who stared at me like I knew I was staring at it.

  There was a penguin in the middle of the room.

  I thought for a split second if I had died and gone to heaven. That my hundredth attempt at sobriety had broken me and I died on the floor of the kitchen.

  For a moment, I felt excited at the idea I had surpassed a messy death and made it to the pearly gates with all of my past sins in tow. I wanted to smile, until I moved my head and the worst migraine I ever had, began to throb behind my eyes. I wasn't in heaven; heaven wouldn't allow migraines past the pearly gates.

  The penguin quickly vanished with the realization I was still very much alive. I groaned as I covered my eyes to shield some of the light.

  I rolled away from the source of the light, rolling myself up in the soft fluffy blankets like a log, at least I was in a comfortable bed. I grabbed equally as soft and fluffy pillows over my head to drown more of the light and sound that was making my head pound harder. I squeezed my eyes shut, praying to whoever was left in the heavens that would listen, to come down and take me away or at least send the penguin back to get me some aspirin.

  I buried myself deeper into the soft pillow top of the mattress, taking deep breaths of the clean linen smell when I had another realization. I didn't own white sheets. White sheets that smelled this clean and were this soft for cotton sheets. My sheets were dark purple and were maybe twenty thread count.

  How did I get into this fancy cloud of a bed? Did I buy a new bed with the paycheck still stuffed in my underwear drawer?

  That's when it sunk in through the haze of day three of my detox and the elephant sized headache I was now suffering through. This wasn't my bed. It's Claire's.

  I forgotten I had spent the night in Claire's spare bedroom.

  I sat up quickly, grabbing my head in my hands to still the pounding as it increased with the sudden blood flow change. I looked at the bedside clock, the vintage big hand and little hand informing me that it was three thirty in the afternoon.

  I leaned forward, elbows on my thighs, "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" I was once again late for work even as I slept in the spare bedroom of my employer's house; I still managed to be obscenely late for my third day of work. I got up and out of the bed, throwing warm blankets and the temptation to stay in them to the side.

  I moved as quickly as my headache would allow me to the closet, grabbing the first pair of jeans and dark blue t-shirt my hands landed on and dressed.

  The clothes fit perfectly, I wasn't surprised they did, I was picking up that the Senator had her own ways of making things all come together perfectly under her watch. I went to grab my dress shoes when I saw a brand new Converse box on the floor in the closet. I lifted
the box and saw the shoes were in my size.

  I smiled and flipped the lid to reveal brand new soft grey converse. I slipped them on and for a moment I felt like I was back in high school, running around in gym class in my converse.

  I pulled my hair back in a messy ponytail. I didn't want to waste any more time with a shower; I could take one in three hours when my work day would have normally ended. I grabbed my phone and before I went to run back downstairs, I noticed a note from Claire tucked under the phone.

  -Kit.

  You needed your rest. Feel free to help yourself to anything in the kitchen you would like when you're up.

  -Claire

  Her handwriting was small and slanted, telling me a few things I already had an idea about the Senator. She preferred to work alone whenever possible and that she was focused with a propensity to think internally. I set the note down, cursing my handwriting analysis classes, I could never look at simple gone out for milk or grocery lists without picking apart the author scribble by scribble.

  I pressed my fingers onto the note, I would have to think of something to say to Claire when I found her. I could not keep letting her down by oversleeping through the Rebecca free training days. I knew I would learn more and faster from Claire without the hovering of her ex.

  I took a deep steadying breath and ran downstairs to the kitchen. Pouring myself a glass of the tea that was still in the pitcher, I began looking for something to eat. Bread to make toast, cereal or even pop tarts. My stomach was begging to be filled and I knew I could actually eat without throwing up now that I was nearing the end of my detox. I found a box of organic granola that looked like piles of hay and barley meant for horses or cows, not humans. I hesitated before dumping some of the feed into a bowl and topping it off with organic almond milk.

  Everything in the kitchen and fridge was organic, free range and supposedly good for you. Which I found humorous considering the two meals I had shared with Claire were heavy, greasy and artery clogging. I shook my head, "The woman is an enigma in the true sense of the word."

  I yawned and stretched, trying to shake away the rest of the fog from sleeping all day intertwined with the last few pounds of my migraine. I kept trying to remember when I went to sleep. The last thing I remembered was Claire trying to barter with me to stay with the promise of waffles. I rolled my shoulders to ease them; I hated my detox for the fact that I would sometimes get short memory gaps while my body went through extreme changes. That's why I had always done it a week before a job so I wouldn't forget things or places.

  I went to put the cap back on the milk when I bumped it and spilled some on the clean floor. Reaching for the paper towel, I wiped up the white milk from the grey speckled granite and when I went to throw the paper towel out in the under sink trash can, I saw the glint of broken glass on top of the pizza stained napkins from last night. I moved the trash can out to get a better look at the broken glass.

  Squinting to see if there was blood or any fingerprints, I took one of the larger pieces from the top and held it up to the light. That's when the memory shook loose, all of them. I dropped the large piece back into the trash can, "Oh shit."

  I had to lean on the sink counter, my attention caught by a cardinal feeding at the wooden bird house hanging just over the window.

  The glass was mine.

  I had shattered it when my stomach cramps rammed through my body like a tank in Russia during World War II. I began to breathe quicker, short little sighs as I started to remember Claire helping me up to my bedroom. Then falling apart when the cramps and the dry heaves broke me. I fell into her strong, safe arms and asked her why she was still standing by me when I was obviously not interested in helping myself.

  My eyes shut, squeezing them tighter, I began to feel the warmth from her hands and her body as Claire held me close. I hung my head down as the last part raced through my heart, carrying through the pulse racing in my neck and straight to the front of my mind. How could I have forgotten the last part?

  The part where I almost kissed her. Our lips grazing, but never making a full connection. I wanted it, and as I swallowed my heart down hard, I knew she had wanted it.

  But she was the one who backed away.

  I hung my head down, focusing on the drain in the sink. What was I doing? I had made a promise to myself to never repeat the mistakes I had made in the past. Especially if it came to work and any job I was on. I hadn't over the last couple of years, I stuck to my set in stone commitments even as some of the top celebrities literally threw themselves at me. A couple I had even wished I caught as they threw themselves willingly at me.

  But I couldn't.

  I had made the terrible mistake of letting my heart infiltrate the job and it ended up in a bloody mess and two deaths. I was trying my best to keep Claire away from my heart, but she was doing a damn good job of worming her way in. Deeper and quicker than anyone else ever had in my life.

  I turned to the bowl of now soggy cereal; I grabbed it and tossed it into the sink. Letting the water rinse away the flakes of granola into the black abyss of the drain, I began to piece together why the feelings I had whenever the blonde Senator was in the room or near me felt so strange.

  It was because I had never felt them before. Not from anyone I had ever had a relationship with man, woman, politician, fellow agent, my high school sweetheart and certainly not from the last one I thought I had given my heart too. They all never made my heart skip beats, race when our eyes met or twitch with the desire to know more about her than just as a boss.

  I was falling for Claire and I couldn't. I couldn't let my heart get in the way of keeping her safe.

  I shut the water off and debated finding Claire or just leaving my own note to tell her I had gone home and would be back in the morning. I had to run from these feelings and her house, away from her until I could build a shield to keep us both safe.

  I eventually decided on the sneaky exit and a note left on the fridge option. I knew it made me look like a one night stand gone bad, but I had to leave. I ran back upstairs; grabbing the suit I wore yesterday and hustled back to the sitting room. I dropped my briefcase and suit on the floor and went to dig in the side drawer where I knew there would be a large pad and pens.

  When I rounded the corner of the couch, I was stopped mid step by what and who I saw asleep curled up into a ball.

  Claire was dead asleep on the grey boxy designer couch. Her head propped up on the arm, her blonde hair covering most of her face. Keeping the slight blush of her cheeks hidden from view, her arms were folded tightly across her chest as she breathed heavily. She was in a deep sleep and not even the loud thud of my briefcase hitting the wooden floor woke her up.

  I paused, looking at the woman as she slept, feeling regret that I had woken her up last night and kept her awake when I was in my tizzy of a state when I collapsed in the kitchen. I walked quietly to the edge of the coffee table in front of the couch and sat on it. Even in sweats and sleeping like a drunk after Mardi Gras, Claire was beautiful. I clenched my jaw at the strange way she made my heart move when I looked at her harder like I was now.

  I was in trouble and that was the only thing I knew for certain.

  I sat for a second, afraid to sit too long and have her wake up and confront many of the things I really didn't want too at this moment. I stood up, my jaw still clenched as I grabbed the blanket on the end of the couch. I shook it out, laying it over Claire, I couldn't resist reaching out and pushing some of the fallen hair out of the way. Exposing her pink, flushed cheeks that drew my eyes to her lips. Lips that I had been so close to kissing the night before.

  I pulled my hand back close to my body and sighed, shaking my head.

  This was big trouble.

  I straightened up, opening the side table drawer, picking up the pad and pen it held. I leaned over the coffee table to scribble out my note as fast as possible so I could make my escape.

  "Kit, what are you doing?"

  Even thoug
h her voice was barely above a whisper, it startled me. I turned and looking at Claire, now awake and looking at me with tired eyes and a furrowed brow.

  "I was leaving you a note." I held the pad up at an angle to provide solid evidence that was exactly the thing I was doing. The only thing I was doing.

  Claire shifted, sitting up on the couch, she pushed her hair back from her face, "I can see that. What time is it?" Her voice was still quiet, but there was a hint of tired irritation behind the low volume.

  I gritted my teeth, thankful the sitting room was vacant of a clock. I stared at the pad in my hand, "It's almost four... In the afternoon." I read over the three words I had managed to scrawl out on the pad as I waited for Claire's response to the time. Preparing myself for the lecture that was sure to come this time.

  Claire let out a sigh, leaning her against the back of the couch. I set the pad down and stood up in front of her, "I didn't want to wake you. You looked tired." What a half assed explanation that was.

  Claire smiled lightly, "I am tired. I’ve only been asleep for an hour." She took a deep breath and stood up from the couch to stretch her arms over her head.

  I looked at her confused, "An hour? You mean an hour nap?"

  Claire shook her head as she dropped her arms, "I have been working all night. Barely made it to the couch when I came up to see how you were." She looked down at the floor as something flickered over her eyes, but I didn't catch before she looked away.

  She folded her arms, turning to walk towards the kitchen, "Are you intending to leave for the day Kit?" She nodded towards the pad on the coffee table. The tone of her voice was not one I had heard since Davey and I sat down for my interview. The Senator was definitely in the room. The feeling that voice gave me, worried me that I had slipped up for the last time.

  "I, uh." I stumbled over my words, "I thought it might be a good idea to go home and check my mail." I grimaced at my stupid excuse.

  Claire nodded with her back turned as she continued walking to the kitchen.

 

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