Fields grinned wider, letting his hand move from my arm to clutch sweaty at my hand, "You know you can tell me anything my Texas rose."
I clenched through my smile at the way his sweat stuck to my hand and glanced around secretively before leaning closer to his ear, "The biggest secret of that place is that celebrities come there for secret plastic surgery procedures and to recover." I leaned back, "Nothing more than aging movie stars hiding their new noses from the world, Bobby." I squeezed his hand, "I would never lie to you, you know that right?"
Fields chuckled, dropping my hand so he could gently slap my shoulder, "Well how about that!" He then slid his arm around my waist, pulling me against his side, "And of course I know you would never lie to me Claire, that is why you are my favorite Senator and lady." He started walking the last few steps to the large polar exhibit, "I told my buddy he was being crazy. You know I think he has watched a few too many old episodes of the X-files while he reads his daily debriefing."
I laughed with Fields, peering over my shoulder, when I felt Kit close behind us, almost hearing her jaw clench at the simple flirty back and forth I was indulging in. I hoped she understood I was only doing it to keep Fields pouring out the information he was. I nudged Fields with my shoulder, "Where does your buddy work, Bobby?"
"He works over at the CIA as a military liaison for the Army." Fields squeezed my side, "He is a drunk and I think his imagination has gotten the best of him over the years. He works in the Special Operations section, basically he is a glorified secretary for the research and development groups." Fields and I stopped at the edge of the open air exhibit, "You know if you ever took me up on that standing dinner date I asked you on a few months ago, I could arrange you two to meet with a whole lot of tequila."
The open air exhibit had a small handful of the event guests milling about, looking in the small caves and the water, hoping to spot a fluffy white polar bear. I went to move away from Fields to lean against the railing, but he had a tight grip on me, I looked at him with a smile, "I will have to take a look at my schedule after the break. You know how busy it is in the winter right before the fiscal year-end report."
Fields looked over his shoulder at Kit who was doing her best to look at the exhibit without making it too obvious she was watching us and scanning the rest of the crowd. Fields whispered in my ear again, "How about you tell your little assistant to go find us some drinks and we can have a real conversation."
I felt his hand slide from my waist down to my hip, then down to rest on my ass with a squeeze of a meaty hand. I jumped slightly at the intensity that he squeezed me, Fields had grabbed me before, but it was never this blatantly aggressive.
I turned to say something when I heard him yelp and the hand on my ass was gone, leaving a cool spot where his once hot sweaty hand had been.
I turned to see Kit inches away from Fields with the fingers of his right hand wrapped in hers, yanking his fingers back hard in a very covert way. She eyed with daggers, whispering so only the three of us heard, "Listen, I know you can probably buy and sell me a thousand times over, but if you continue to lay unwanted hands on the Senator, I will make it so the fingers on your right hand will never face the same way again." She twisted his hand at an angle, making him yelp again, "She doesn't like it and for a man from the south, you should be minding your manners and notice when a lady isn't too keen on your grabby paws."
Fields looked at me with wide eyes and then back at Kit.
"Do you understand me Bobby? Leave the Senator alone." Kit twisted again, making Fields nod quickly.
"I understand."
Kit dropped his hand, "Now apologize to the Senator and leave us be to enjoy the exhibit you so kindly paid for." Kit took a step back to give him room.
Fields pulled his hand close to his body, rubbing the sore fingers with his other hand, "Senator. I apologize if I was a bit uncouth. Ms. Witmer is correct, my mother did raise me better." He smiled tightly, "I do hope you find me later for a drink before you leave." He looked between Kit and I, "Enjoy the exhibit and the event ladies." He then turned, hustling his sweaty body away from us.
I blew out a slight laugh, "Kit."
She turned, her hand up to stop me, shaking her hand, "I know, but I don't care that he owns half the country and half of the government." Her eyes met mine and I could see jealousy and concern in the hazel irises, "I could not take one minute longer of him grabbing at you like that. Touching you like you were a stripper, pawing at you." Her jaw clenched, "I am sure Rebecca would have handled it differently than almost breaking off his sausage fingers."
I moved closer to Kit, my hand settling on her upper arm, "Rebecca always ignored it, let it happen and then we would fight about it in the car." I sighed, "I only entertain him because he usually lets things slip when he is focused on undressing me with his eyes."
Kit nodded, "I heard what he said about the Centre. It is interesting for sure, about his buddy." She stepped away from my hand, folding her arms, "I just couldn't stand to watch him touch you." She held my eyes, "I will never be able to handle watching anyone but me touch you." Her voice dropped lower at the last few words. Kit tore her eyes away from mine the second she spoke the last syllables of you.
The simple words sucked the air out of my lungs, making my heart begin a quick ascent to rest in the middle of my throat, my lips parted to say something in return when a cheery zoo employee walked up to us.
"Excuse me Senator Avondale? I was curious if you and your assistant would like to take a tour of the exhibit?"
I smiled shakily in return, still tangled up in the words Kit uttered and was now trying to avoid by staring at the massive water tank in front of us. "I think we are fine."
The cheery young girl cocked her head, "Are you sure? We have a great exhibit where you can watch a group of penguins swim and feed them." She looked at her watch, "It's lunch time, so the whole lot of them will be out and ready to be fed."
I shook my head to politely refuse again, when Kit spoke up.
"Did you say penguins?" Kit's voice was soft, looking at the girl with a confused look.
"Yes, ma'am. We have about thirty or forty of them in this exhibit. All of them are very friendly."
Kit looked up at me, "I think we should go Senator Avondale. It will be a fun experience." The tone in her voice told me that I couldn't disagree and any further conversation would be put on hold.
I put my fake smile back on, "Of course." I turned to the girl, "Please lead the way."
Kit and I followed the cheery and excited girl to the other side of the exhibit, listening to her chat about the numerous qualities and quirks of penguins. Also informing us the zoo had one of the only public feeding area for the small arctic birds.
I listened intently, hoping it would chase away what Kit had said and the things I wanted to say back. We entered a cool room that led into another open air area that looked like a polar iceberg, there was a large standing and sitting area where another young man wearing high rubber boots was setting big blue buckets of fish in front of the benches.
The girl led us to the bench, motioning for us to put on the spare pairs of boots that sat in front, before she waved at the young man, "Keaton here will be your guide, so to speak, in feeding the little guys. Just listen to what he tells you and have fun!" She turned to Keaton, "This is Senator Avondale and her assistant Kit Witmer. They want to feed the kids."
Keaton laughed, waving us over, "Come on over then. They are a hungry bunch today." Keaton went onto tell us that the penguins in the enclosure were Emperor penguins and how long the zoo had them for. He went through the small details of the breed and what the different coloring's they had meant, all intriguing information that I cared little about. I couldn't stop looking at Kit, trying to figure her out.
When I would sneak looks at Kit, I saw her face light up more as she digested each little fact about the birds Keaton continued dumping on us.
Kit and I stood on either side of Keaton as
he explained how to feed the penguins. "Hold the fish by the tail and hold it out. The penguins know how to take the fish as gently as possible. Some may get over excited and nip at your fingers." He pointed at the buckets set in front of us, "They will also try to pilfer the buckets, if they do I will take care of them."
I nodded that I understood the instructions when Kit spoke, "Can we pet them?"
I smiled, looking at Kit, she sounded like a little kid in the way she asked the question.
Keaton pulled on giant rubber gloves, "I don't recommend searching it out, the penguins are usually dead set on eating and then swimming away. A couple of them might get sassy if you try to interrupt lunch time." He smiled at Kit as he set a bucket closer to her, "But if one comes up to you and squeaks, it is their way of saying pet me."
Keaton set another bucket in front of me, then walked over to the wall and hit a button. I could hear a cage being lifted followed by a quiet stampede of little flippers on wet concrete. Two seconds later and the entrance to the tiny cave in front of us filled with penguins in all shapes, sizes and varying colors of black and white.
I took a step back at the sight of the tiny stampede, the penguins knew we had they fish and charged us as fast as their roly poly bodies could move. I grabbed a fish and held it out like Keaton showed us, laughing as the first penguin took it eagerly then looked at me for more.
I fed one penguin after another, each one taking the fish gently than staring at me for another. I turned to Kit and couldn't help but grin at the redhead, she was kneeling down, both hands filled with fish, laughing. Genuinely laughing so much the grin on her face was as bright as the white accents in the exhibit. She turned to me and I saw the dimples on both of her cheeks grow so deep it was like a second smile on the woman's face. She giggled and blushed when another penguin squawked at her for fish.
I was lost in how beautiful Kit was in that moment. Truly happy and laughing like she was and it was something I was not sure I would ever see from her. The only other time I saw her this close to happy was after our first kiss, but the dimples faded just as quickly when reality set in. Here, as she fed penguins, there was no reality or harsh memories. Nothing but cute little birds squawking for stinky fish.
The sensation hit me hard, I wanted to be the one to make her smile like that every day, I wanted to make Kit happy, I wanted to love her.
In that split second I knew for certain I was in love with the giggling, grinning woman knee-deep in fish and penguins.
Keaton handing me the last couple of fish in the bucket brought me back to the moment, "Senator Avondale, these are the last two. The kids are fed and fat and if you and Ms. Witmer would like, you can help me herd them back into the cage for them to hit the pool for their after lunch swim."
"Yes of course." I followed Keaton, mimicking his arm movements to get the penguins back towards the cave opening. Kit was still handing out the last few fish in her hand and stood up, Keaton telling her the same herding instructions.
Kit was still grinning, moving her arms to shoo the last remaining birds back into the cave.
When we got the last few back towards the cave, Keaton pulled off his rubber gloves, turning to face us, "You two did a great job, if you follow the steps you took in and make a right. It will take you to the front of the exhibit and you can watch the kids swim around." He held out his hand to shake mine, "It was an honor to meet you Senator Avondale."
He turned to do the same to Kit but was halted by the sound of a shrill squeaking coming from the cave. All three of us looked at the small entrance and saw a medium-sized penguin coming waddling back out. Keaton laughed and shook his head, "There is always one piggy in the group. That's Norbert, one of the babies."
He went to shoo the little penguin back, when it weaved through his legs and ran up to Kit, squeaking and flapping his little wings at her. Kit grinned, kneeing down to the little bird, "Hey Norbert, I don't have any more fish." She held out her empty hands to show the bird.
What the bird did next surprised all of us.
He leaned his little head forward into Kit's hands, squeaking excitedly and moving closer to Kit. Fluttering his wings, making content purrs and squeaks. Kit was frozen for a second until Keaton nodded it was okay. She then ran her hands over the shiny black head, making the bird push closer to her, making it almost appear Norbert wanted a hug from the woman.
Keaton laughed, "I have never seen any of our penguins do that. The closest anyone has ever gotten is a squeak and head bump against the leg to show they like us." He pointed at Kit and the happy little bird in her hands, "Norbert must really like and trust you. He is a little timid since he had an issue with one of the older males and was attacked right after he was born, so Norbert tends to hide in the back a lot."
Kit was looking at the happy little bird she was petting, grinning, "Well I really like him and trust him too." The bird stopped his fluttering and squeaking to look right up at Kit. For a moment I swore something passed between the two as they looked eye to eye. The bird squawked once more before turning and waddling back to the cave entrance. Kit stood up, her eyes latched onto the cave until the sound of the cage being lowered pulled her back to Keaton and I.
Keaton smiled at Kit, "You should be honored, penguins rarely show much affection to anyone but the ones they mate with."
Kit raised her eyebrow, "Did that little guy just make me his mate?"
Keaton laughed, "Oh no, he's still a baby, just over a year old. His mom and dad were the large ones with orange and yellow accents." He grabbed the empty buckets, "I am not a penguin expert, but I think you just made a brand new lifelong friend." He shifted the buckets in hands, "I am certain if you come back to the zoo, little Norbert will remember you."
Keaton thanked us again after escorting us back to the entrance that would lead to the front of the huge water tank. Kit said nothing when we were alone, her lingering grin said everything as she walked to stand in front of the massive swim tank full of fat and happy penguins.
She pressed a hand against the Plexiglas, watching them swim intently. I moved to stand next to her, holding onto the small railing set before the tank. Kit looked up at me, her eyes softer than they had ever been before, "I have been dreaming about penguins for the last few months. Mainly when I was coming out of a drunken stupor or when I was beyond exhausted. They would show up in my dreams asking me to swim with them or just sit with me." She turned back to the tank as a penguin moved like a bullet through the water, "I have no idea what it means."
I smiled, watching Kit, "Dreams mean a lot of things Kit, animal related dreams can mean a multitude of things. In the spiritual and metaphysical world dreaming of a penguin means that animal is your spirit animal, giving you guidance at a time in your life when you need it."
I moved closer to Kit, "If I recall a penguin in your dream suggests that you are being weighed down by your emotions or by a negative situation. The dream is letting you know that you need to find a way to balance yourself and return to harmony within. If a penguin swims across your path, it means there is order in the chaos around you." I took a steady breath, "In the traditional romantic sense penguin’s mate for life and search out their one true love and live alone until they have found the perfect one." I lowered my voice, everything about these penguins was what Kit seemed to be going through in her life. It made my heart ache when I recited the last part, Kit was searching out a place for her heart since she lost Callum, and she had stopped searching or caring to find that one true love when it appeared she had it and then lost it.
I could tell in the way she dropped her head, that she understood the dreams hidden meaning as well. "Sneaky little bastards." Kit took a step back from the tank, her hand sliding away from the Plexiglas, "Maybe Norbert was trying to make me his girlfriend."
I reached out, placing my hand on her forearm, "Or Norbert can sense you are a protector, and that you will protect the ones you care for and love. Maybe it was his way of thanking you for being one
of the few who protect and love with everything they have."
She took a deep breath, stuffing her hands in the front pockets of her jeans breaking my hand free from her arm, "Shall we head back to the party and mingle Senator Avondale?"
I sighed, Kit obviously would continue to pick and choose the moments she would open up to me. It was frustrating and if we weren't in the middle of a large public event, I would force her to talk to me, resolve the back and forth we kept indulging in and come to a final decision. I hated ultimatums, but I was falling in love with the redhead and I would not keep playing any unnecessary games with her.
"Yes, one more round and we can make a polite exit." I ran a hand over my hair, tucking loose strands behind my ear, "We need to be back at the house by six, that Agent Carlton is coming by the house to debrief and update me on the most recent attack."
I watched Kit shut her eyes tight, "I forgot about Carlton."
I wanted to reach out to Kit, but decided against it, she would just pull away from me and ignore my attempts to comfort or be there for her. "I will do it alone in the sitting room, you won't have to be there." I slipped into the Senator voice unintentionally and Kit caught it. A painful look crossed her face as I smiled tightly and walked back out to the party.
This game between us would have to end, and end tonight.
In the bottom of my heart I knew it would end with me closing the woman off and letting her sit in her self-imposed misery.
I was in love with her, but I loved her enough to let her go.
The air returned to thick and tense between us the moment we returned to the party in the huge reception area of the zoo. I knew it was partly my fault that Senator Avondale had taken over Claire even when we were alone. I shut down from my nerdy happiness of sharing a hug with a penguin when Claire started telling me the dream meaning of penguins and the romance they carried. I had some small beliefs in the metaphysical world and how everything had some sort of meaning. Davidek was the first person to tell me about power animals and animal totems, claiming his was always a fierce whooping crane, leaving me to look at him like he was high or crazy, but when I researched it on a long weekend, I began to believe he was right. Animals in dreams meant something, I just was too much of a drunk lately to care to research it deeper or believe it.
Redemptio Animae Page 26