I felt Kit flinch and lean in to the contact, taking a deep breath. I ran my hand down her neck to feel her pulse racing. I moved back and smiled, bending forth again to kiss her fully, holding her tight as I nudged her lips open with mine, her hands covering mine on the chair arm as the other slid up my neck and to the back of my head. Holding me hostage as the kiss grew in intensity, our lips moving together, Kit's tongue gliding over my top lip before she took it between her teeth to bite it lightly.
I moaned, almost falling into the chair with her, effectively ending the kiss. Kit grabbed my upper arms to stop my fall, looking up at me hazily, "Claire...Jesus." her voice was breathless, heavy. I couldn't resist kissing this woman as much as possible and every one of our kisses grew in intensity, leading me to believe that when both of us finally caved, it would lead to a pure sensory overload as our bodies met in the carnal need we were slowly building up each day.
I leaned back, "That frosting is the best I have ever tasted." I stood up, pulling Kit up with me, "But I think we need to eat something more than just sugar and grease."
Kit closed her eyes, nodding her head, "We do. I will make dinner." She turned to leave the bedroom, but paused at the door, "Claire, I have to make a confession. If you continue to kiss me like that..." She swallowed hard and audibly. I could see the struggle, the same struggle I was dealing with, and for a split second I wondered why we kept holding out, then I remembered. It had to be right and it still didn't feel right to take that next step.
She turned to face me, "You know, today marks my second full week of sobriety. I have never gone this long without a drink in almost three years." Kit smiled tightly, "I owe you that, Claire, it's one of the many reasons why I love you, and you also finally gave me a chance to breathe new life into the one I thought I had lost." She sighed contently and walked out of the room.
I let out a slow breath, it was that as well that kept me holding back with Kit. Her sobriety and finding a life after it, had been hard and still an ongoing process. That's why I planned the prize surprise at the last minute when I RSVP'd us both for the ball. I wanted to show her that aside from the world coming in closer around us, I wanted a life with her. The surprise I had planned for her was one I hoped she liked, one I would hope that would finally make her see the beauty she carried and that I would never want anything from her other than what she gave me.
I had a strange fear that if we fell in bed together before, the surprise would be silly or inconsequential. It wasn't about me in the slightest like I had suggested to her, it was a surprise for Kit and Kit alone, nothing to do with me and I needed to keep it that way.
I gave Norbert one last look before leaving the room and meeting Kit down in the kitchen.
Chapter 18
Brushing the last touches of powder along my neckline, very thankful my mother had forced me to learn how to properly apply makeup. I had done my hair after the shower and shimmied my slim frame into the dress. The dress was a tight, but not too tight it became disgraceful, ankle length grey blue dress with a square neckline that was capped off with black short sleeves that only covered my shoulders. I looked the perfect balance between a lady out for the evening and a Senator making an appearance at a function. The standard for these type charity events, skirting the edge of being human, accessible, and above the rest, reaching into the pockets of the wealthy. I had left my hair down, curling it in the slightest and letting it cascade as it saw fit around my shoulders.
In the office I kept my hair up in a conservative bun or a well-crafted pony tail. Very business and very contained, but I would let go a little when I attended these types of events, it helped keep my allies thinking I was quite the free spirit outside of the office and therefore approachable. I smiled as I set my makeup brushes and pencils away, if they only knew how I really was. V-necks I bought in bulk from my favorite store and literally one pair of jeans I wore for the last five years day in and day out.
I wiped away the stray flecks of mascara from under my eyes, standing up from the in the bathroom next to the antique bathtub that would swallow me whole when I needed to drown the day in bubbles and scalding water. I twisted and turned, taking a last look in the mirror. Smoothing out the dress and running a few fingers through my hair. I was strangely nervous, nervous to see Kit in that dress and try my best not to lay inappropriate touches on her at the ball. I was nervous I would not easily be able to hide how much I wanted the woman and how much she made me feel when she was a mere foot away from me.
I walked to the bed, dropping a short tube of lipstick and a few random other necessities into the small matching clutch.
I held my phone before adding it to the collection of lipstick and breath mints, checking that the reservations for after the ball were set. When I was satisfied, the clutch moved to sit under my arm as I moved across the hallway and tapped twice on the cracked open door. "Kit?" I rolled my wrist to look at the face of my tiny watch, "We should leave soon."
Kit hurried out of the bathroom, clipping on an earring without looking at me. She went directly to her side table, bending a bit as she dug around in the drawer. If she said something to me in that moment, I didn’t hear it. I was awestruck at how impossibly gorgeous she looked.
The dress appeared to fit her better than it did when I saw her in the dressing room. She turned to me, her head still down as she dropped her gun on the bed. Her mouth was moving but I heard nothing she said, still staring at the woman. Kit's hair was up in a modern up do that gave off the feel of an elegant faux hawk, but not too high, or too ridiculous. Her makeup was flawless, highlighting her cheekbones and I saw the smoky eye makeup bring out the deep green tints in her eyes. Long gone were the hesitation of her earlier attempts at makeup, this was purposeful and almost masterful.
I finally forced myself to listen to her as she continued to speak and rush about, grabbing little things to add to the collection sitting next to her gun. "Yes, I am almost ready, Claire. I need to find my compact and figure out how to arrange everything in this tiny bag and still have my gun. I think the stupid compact is buried in one of my bags in the closet." Kit spun around, "That and lipstick is all I can take, unless you think I should leave the gun." Kit looked up at me mid-sentence and the rest stammered out in broken vowels. "Claire, um." A colossal grin took the rest of her words with a short gasp. She dropped her head, turning her attention to stuffing things into the purse. I smirked, loving the way I could take her simple functions away and discombobulate the stubborn woman for a moment.
I only enjoyed it because Kit had the exact same effect on me the second I stepped into her room just now, hustling out of the bathroom talking a mile a minute about things I never heard. I felt time slow at the sight of the redhead and I wanted it to move slower, I wanted to forget the ball and the surprise after, instead wanting to see how slowly I could peel her out of that dress.
Once again, my sensibility overruled my taste for sin. I cleared my throat, "We should go." Kit nodded in agreement, still in shock and awe by the way her large grin seemed stuck on her face, along with failing horribly at trying not to stare at me.
Kit followed me downstairs and stood at the bottom of the staircase, nerves visible in the woman as she plucked at her dress, running hands down the sides. I kept smiling at her as I helped her into the matching coat I had Evette supply with Kit's dress. Knowing I had nothing to keep Kit warm and she would refuse to buy anything if I suggested it. I settled my own long matching coat on and opened the front door, holding out my hand, "Ladies first."
Kit rolled her eyes and when she took a step out the door, she paused, "Aren't we taking one of the cars in the garage?"
I leaned to the side, pointing at the black Lincoln Navigator parked against the curb. Sheehnan was smiling as he walked around the front of the large SUV and opened the back door. I leaned closer to Kit, "That's our ride for the evening. I thought we both could use the night off. Danny often fills in when I need to make an entrance or I need to be able t
o disappear at a moment's notice at these events."
Kit laughed, shaking her head, "Always one step ahead of me." A moment of silence passed as she looked up at me with adoring eyes, "You might be as perfect as you are beautiful, Claire." She brushed my hand, squeezing the couple of fingers she grabbed, letting go just as quickly when she turned to walk out the door, issuing a hearty greeting to Sheehnan. When I climbed into the back next to Kit, he threw me a wink before closing the door.
I set my clutch on the seat between us and went to say something to her, when I saw immediately how foreign this type of thing was for Kit. She was used to sitting in the front, hiding in the shadows, purposely ignored at events and only cared about when someone needed something.
As Sheehnan pulled away from the house, I picked up her hand as it laid on the leather seat, hearing a soft sigh when her fingers fell in with mine, her smile tugging hard at the corner of her mouth. My thumb ran back and forth along the space where her thumb and fingers were divided. "This charity ball is one of the very few I attended during the year. The non-profit organizations that most of the government serves gather together and we all write checks to feel good about ourselves as we eat thick expensive steaks for the night. The money actually goes to the charities that are selected to be the spotlight charities for the year. It is the only reason why I come to this one. I know the money gets to where it needs to be and there is no red tape." I glanced at Kit, still staring at our hands linked, "There will be Senators, Congress members, foreign dignitaries and maybe a quick cameo by the Vice President." I moved closer to her, wanting to be closer to her warmth and the intoxicating smell of her delicate perfume, "I will be the Senator for most of the night and I want you to stick close to me, fend off some of my unfortunate suitors I have apparently collected over the last few years. Some are very diligent in acquiring that ever elusive lunch date or fancy dinner at their embassy."
Kit looked up, her face cringing, "You want me to keep an eye on threats and unwanted advances?"
I smiled, leaning across her pretending to grab a tissue from her side of the backseat. I whispered against her ear so only she and I heard it, "I want everyone in the room to know I am not available. You don't have to say a word or lay it out for them in black and white. They will figure it out that there is someone I want to have lunch dates and fancy dinners with more than them." I moved back in the seat, blotting at my lipstick, Kit swallowing hard from the light brushes of my hand against her as I returned to my seat.
"But won't that reveal a part of your private life?"
I understood what she was hinting at. I tucked the tissue in my purse, "It's nothing that has not been speculation for years. I had my run in the tabloids with Rebecca when I started my Senate run." I looked at Kit, "Honestly the way you look at me and the way I look back at you, the moon could see there is more between us than just business." I grabbed her hand again, pulling it to sit in my lap, "Please try not to punch anyone or crush a hand."
Kit laughed, squeezing my hand tighter, I was being honest with her, I no longer cared about that tiny aspect of my life. Who I was interested in, who I was courting, and who I was sleeping with. It was unimportant in the large scheme of things. It was a moot point next to the death threats, attacks and internal breaches. Half of my fellow Senators knew about my private life because of Rebecca's overly clingy ways, what happened in Paris and the handful of Secret Service who saw us behind closed doors. The panic I failed at keeping under control when I made the decisions I did to save her life.
But I was left alone by those who knew because my work stood alone and my personal agenda or lifestyle was never pushed or influenced my work more than was necessary. I covered her hand with my free one, "Kit, you are the only one I want to have lunch dates with, fancy dinners with. You are the only thing that is keeping me sane the last few weeks and the one thing that is making me want to stay strong and keep fighting." I smiled, bringing her hand up to my lips. "I love you." I kissed her knuckles softly, she was truly my lighthouse in this endless storm I was sailing through every day. If I kept my eyes on her, I knew I would always find a way out.
I had to fight not to look at Claire every three seconds, she took my breath away standing in the doorway of the room, looking as if she stepped out of a magazine or an elegant fairy tale. My heart pounded as did my body, I had to take far too many deep calming breaths to settle my heart and the ache building lower. I had to hope that Claire could refrain from kissing me tonight like she had over the last few days. If she did, I would legitimately lose my control and attack her.
I turned to look out the Navigators window, enjoying how the city seemed to sparkle with the snow and the lights from the buildings we passed, entering the heart of the bustling capital. I closed my eyes, letting everything clear out of my mind, only the feel of her hand in mine being the one thing I wanted to focus on.
I wanted nothing more than to fantasize about Claire and I as a normal couple, out to dinner instead of a Senator and her bodyguard. We were two women in love playing the delicate back and forth of flirting, not playing the survival game from multiple threats against her life that should exist only in a science fiction novel.
I floated away in my own decadent fantasy for a bit and was pulled from it when Sheehnan stopped the car in front of the Ritz-Carlton, I felt her hand leave mine and move to the small clutch on the seat between, her hand rustling inside. The look on her face worried me, I couldn't address it before she met my eyes with a loving look, "Showtime."
Her door opened, flooding the backseat with artificial light attempting to emulate natural light. Sheenan held out his hand, helping Claire and then I out of the Navigator. He gently grabbed my forearm, holding me from walking too far, "I will be hanging around until you ladies are ready to leave." He gave me a knowing look, "If you need me." I smiled, patting his hand on my arm, "I got it Sarge."
I winked at him, hurrying to catch up to Claire as she stood at the entrance, greeting the slow trickle of the masses entering with us. Standing next her, we walked towards the coat check and I was overwhelmed by the amount of people who were in the hotel's lobby.
The crowd would migrate to the left after depositing their expensive coats and wraps, heading to the grand ballroom. In the mix, I spotted numerous politicians I had done details for, none of them recognized me, but smiled at my way as they greeted Claire and continued into the event. I looked around, spotting in the rear of the room my past life laid out for me in bold and bland black suits, stiff Secret Service agents all clustered together near the hallway that lead to the service entrance.
They were briefing each other, plotting out positioning points and how to stay discreet but available. One of the male agents turned and made direct eye contact with me, recognizing me. I had worked with him for a few days when I was on the last leg of my senate detail before I moved onto work with Robert. The male agent, whose name I never bothered to remember, stared at me, then nudged his co-agents, whispering and pointing at me.
I felt my stomach drop and had to turn away quickly, causing me to bump into Claire. Her hand grazed my elbow, "Are you okay Kit?"
I hated that she could read me like an open book made of glass. I tried to smile and nod, failing to hide the nerves and strange fear of what my former co-workers were whispering about behind us. I handed my long coat to the chipper coat check girl, "Some of my former co-workers recognized me." I forced a wider smile, hoping we both could brush it off. "It's nothing."
Claire glanced over my shoulder in the direction of the black mass of agents, "Ah, yes. They are quite interested in what might be going on over here." Claire looked directly at me, "Leave them to their chatter Kit, in the end they are jealous you don't have to wear those dreadful polyester suits and actually get to sit down for dinner." Claire's hand found my wrist, "What they think about you is inconsequential to me. Therefore it should also be to you." Her hand moved to my elbow, the warmth of her touch helping to calm down frayed nerves. She steered
me to stand on her left, guiding us to walk towards the ballroom. "Two hours tops and we leave. Off to the better part of our evening." She flashed me the grin that had melted my resolved the first time it I saw it. Claire quickly replacing nerves with excitement for what was to come later and thinking about what it was.
I kept my eyes forward as we walked past the group of agents.
"Witmer the administrative assistant. What's it like going from protection to paper pushing?"
The comment was followed by chuckles from the group, I clenched my jaw and kept moving as another comment floated out.
"From Secret Service to secretary in record time."
I didn't bother to acknowledge the group, I had been agency gossip for years and it would be years more until it faded away to nothing.
"Hey maybe you would have done a better job keeping Ambassadors alive if you were his secretary and not his protection detail."
I closed my eyes, stopping mid step, trying to bottle up and contain the temper that was about to spill out and be unleashed on the man. I could deal with the gossip and the whispers, but not at the expense of Robert. I was able to gather my control and forward movement of heading to the ballroom when I heard Claire.
"Excuse me Agent? Did you have something to say?"
I reached back, mumbling for her to let it go. When I heard the strong tone of her voice, I knew there was no letting go as she stepped away from me to face the group.
A smile was on my face, the same one I used during arguments in the Senate, the one that told those around me I was listening politely but did not appreciate their comments or poor attitude. I looked hard over the agent in front of me, the edges of his smirk fading slowly as he tried to hold onto his misplaced ignorance of saying anything to Kit in my presence. I scanned harder, picking him apart visually.
He was in his early thirties, thinning hair by the way he combed it forward and up in failed efforts to retain a youthful sporty style. His suit was next. Pressed, but old, cluing me in that he was spending his paychecks on things other than keeping his wardrobe stocked. Also telling me that he was beginning to find frustration in his career as an agent. That was reinforced by his fingernails, bitten down to the quick, red and raw, meaning he was a stress biter and bit often. There was a rubber band around his right wrist poking out the edge of his sleeve, with little red marks on the skin from self-snapping the rubber band against the skin, possibly a way for him to fight biting his nails. Informing me that he had an overwhelming amount of stress and anxiety that he did everything he could to keep it under control, but was failing.
Redemptio Animae Page 42