I smiled at how fast he could go from pervy boy to serious agent in a second, "I have some case file numbers. Can you dig them up for me?"
"Sure thing, Rebecca is pulling up the portal now. Go when you're ready." I could hear the gentle tapping of a keyboard in the background mixed with Rebecca and Ivan's voices. I read off the file numbers and the operation code names, hearing a yup from Davidek as confirmation.
I set the page down after reading them all off, "If you can get them all, please do. If not, I really want the recruitment files they talk about from Honey and anything on who Honey might be. I know it's a shot in the dark considering Honey was one of the ones who perished in the lab explosion, but I think if we can nail down who Honey was before Dr. Bourne, it may lead us to others who could be Alistair or know Alistair." I absently rubbed at my temple, "Send them over as soon as you can."
I glanced at Kit, handing me another piece of paper. The same file numbers I had written down were scrawled over the side of her page. I mouthed, "Benson?" to her. Kit nodded and tapped at the word Honey, she had written in all caps underneath the file numbers.
Davidek spoke softly, "It can wait until after dinner, Claire." I could hear in his voice Rebecca had already found the files as I overheard her asking if I wanted hard copies or if email would suffice.
I looked at Kit, mirroring the same determination I had on my face. I stood up, "Send them as you get them, Davidek. And if you find anything on Honey, who he is, I want all of that as well. As soon as possible, this isn't something that can wait until after dinner." Davidek mumbled an okay and hung up. I set the phone down on the arm of the chair, folding my arms across my chest, "He will be sending everything over as they get it."
Kit unraveled her legs, stretching them out. "I think Honey is the lynchpin to Alistair. The CIA, Dr. Bourne, they all seem to center on this, Honey." Kit tugged at her fraying purple sleeves, sighing hard, "Why do I get the feeling this runs deeper than one crazy doctor and a greedy intelligence agency?"
I stared at the flames in the fireplace, shrugging, "Because with the CIA it's never simple." I turned to look at Kit, reaching down for the scattered files to clean them up. "With Alistair it's never simple, with the entire world it's never simple." I felt my frustration growing. I tossed the thin stack of papers in my hand onto the long coffee table Kit sat next to, "Nothing in my life can ever be simple, it's all just a fucking game to everyone." I clenched my jaw, trying to hold back the anger that was about to rage forth.
I tucked my arms against my chest and walked quickly out of the room, moving towards the kitchen. I was tired of looking at my life in the one inch margins of CIA and other governmental paperwork. Just words in black and white type, no emotion or care attached to them to signify that the CIA or anyone else saw me as a person, not a vessel that held the information they needed to improve their own gains.
I walked to the far corner of the kitchen where the breakfast nook looked out a large pane glass window, giving anyone who sat in the small plush booth a view of the rolling mountain behind the cottage. I stared at the sharp rock edges dotted by snow and small patches of green. I couldn't shake the anger still rolling around my insides. My mind processing the hard truths I read over and over in every file or case report that passed into my hands.
I had been nothing more than an item to the CIA since the day they knocked on my parent’s door, asking for me to join their cause. I stopped being a person to them when they saw what I was capable of, what my mind was capable of. Ever since then, I lost my humanity to the world, instead I became a perverse object of desire.
All the federal agencies followed their lead, knocking on my door, wanting my assistance in the multitude of research and development projects touted to me as saving the world when I knew it was a ruse. They all wanted to destroy the world, not save it like I wanted to. After most of the federal agencies backed off, I was quickly headhunted by pharmaceutical companies, chemical magnates, and the greatest hospitals in the world. All asking me the same thing under the same thin veil of truth. Money and power driving them, not the drive I had to save lives and improve life. Even if I wasn't an heir to a billion dollar steel company, I would not want a cent for the work I did or have done. I wanted to heal, not collect fame or money.
And as a result, I had to hide myself. I had to build a facade to hide under, to not let them get to me. Not let anyone see that behind the genius mind was a simple girl who wanted what everyone else did. A life that was their own, a family, love, and a happy life. But it became a game when I grew older, smarter and more dedicated to a project inspired by watching an organ transplant on that one medical cable channel. Further inspired by the tourmaline's I was obsessed with. The way nature had a mind of its own and would never be tainted or discouraged by the human element. It would always carry on and ignore us to the best of its ability. Carrying on as we did our best to tamper with it. Successfully hiding most of its secrets until it felt we deserved to unlock them.
It was still a game and it grew in players as the years passed. Adding and subtracting, but never the less I was roped into playing it, and now, reading for the hundredth time how my life was nothing more than a file number attached to a failed mission, I finally had enough. All because the beautiful redhead in the next room fell into my life and made me see that there was at least one more person out there that didn't care who I was, or what I could do, how they could benefit from me.
I closed my eyes, squeezing the bridge of my nose with my fingertips as my head throbbed.
"Claire? Are you okay?" Kit's voice was firm and soft as she moved further into the kitchen.
I looked over my shoulder, Kit was standing a few feet away from me, her face covered in worry as she tried to smile. I turned back to the mountain, sighing, "In time, maybe." I closed my eyes again, "I know I say it all the time, but I'm tired Kit. I get more tired every time I sit and read through these files. Files about my life written by people who care very little to see me as a person and not an object." I felt the tears building behind my eyelids, a quick thought of if I had known starting the project would have led to all of this, I might have never started it. Stuck with the family steel business and spent my days at the mill. Pouring ore and building railways.
I could feel Kit move closer, her ever present body heat swarming around me, immediately comforting me. "Claire." She paused. I could hear her thoughts turning in her head, trying to find the right thing to say. I opened my eyes to turn to her, tell her it was okay and to just ignore the whole mild outburst of mine. That it would pass and I would bury it down with the other things I had buried after the Malibu attack.
I was stopped before I turned my neck a centimeter. Kit slowly coming up to stand behind me, sliding her arms around my waist to rest under my still folded ones, her chin settling on my shoulder as she held me close. I instantly began to relax against my will, leaning further into Kit as she spoke in my ear.
"You are a person, Claire. You're my person. You're Davey's person, Emiliana’s, Beth's, Rebecca's and probably the hundred others that will come to you for help." She moved her arms up, covering my hands with hers, "I wish I could do more, take the burden away from you, but I know I can't. All I can do is stand next to you and tell you that you are loved. That I love you with everything I have and..." Kit paused suddenly. I could feel her heart begin to race against my shoulder. I turned slowly in her arms, reaching up to press a hand against her cheek, so I could look in the bright hazel eyes that were my anchor in every storm. "What is it, Kit?"
Kit dropped her gaze to the small space between us, "I love you, Claire, and you know that." She paused again, biting her bottom lip as she visibly fought to stay on whatever course she was attempting to take with this conversation. She looked up in my eyes, "I want the things I dreamt about as a little girl. Family, marriage, a mortgage, annoying family pets, and I want all that still, but only with you Claire." She smiled sheepishly, "That's why I have been quiet, awkward since the museum. Trapped in my head
about the future, finally wanting a future, but being scared to have one. Thinking that I still don't deserve it just yet, because of the mistakes and the fuck ups still lingering too close behind me."
I opened my mouth to tell Kit she was wrong, when she held up a hand to stop me. "I know what you're going to say, and I know. I know I am being silly and blind. That those things I can and will overcome in time, but the biggest thing holding me back right now, is that I still have to look over our shoulders. I still am wary of every single person with blue eyes, tourists who get too close to you, and a hundred other little things."
Kit reached up, the back of her hand brushing over my cheek, "I want forever with you Claire, but I can't do it until I know you are safe. Until I see Alistair behind bars or on a cold steel table." She swallowed hard, "Because the one fear that smothers me every night is that I will make a mistake when I fall into one of my smitten hazes with you and it will be one second too much." She looked up at the ceiling as a lone tear slipped away, "If I lose you..."
I shook my head, pulling Kit back into my arms. Burying my face in her shoulder as I felt my own tears well up, I whispered over the edge of her hood, against her ear, "You won't, Kit. You will never lose me. I promise."
I felt her press deeper into me, nodding against my shoulder as she sniffled. I felt the smallest bit of tension fade away, the one where I wasn't certain Kit felt the same way about our future. She did, but at the same time I fully understood her hesitation. She was being careful where I was being bold and spontaneous for the first time in my life, eager to publicly show the world Kit was mine.
We were in the middle of an unusual circumstance, one that would not allow for a happy ending to happen right now. As much as I wanted to ask her to marry me as she stood in my arms, I knew she was right. Our life would begin when another’s ended. A morbid thought, but one that was justified in my mind.
I held Kit firmly until we both settled down, her hands loosening up on my back as she rested the side of her head against my shoulder. I lifted my head up, kissing the top of her head as I ran my hands down her hair. Breathing in deeply her warm vanilla, lilac scent and letting it soothe me.
We stood wrapped in each other for a handful of minutes until the doorbell rang and the intercom keyed up, "Dr. Avondale, it's Security Officer Bierden, I have the food you ordered?"
I looked at the intercom next to the microwave. I let out a breath, Kit slowly moving back out of my arms to let me answer the Officer. She smiled softly, wiping away remnants of her tears with the ragged edge of her purple hoody. I smiled back, walking the two steps to press the talk button, "Thank you Officer Bierden, I will meet you in the foyer."
I dropped my hand, looking back at Kit, "What do you say to eating in bed while we watch those silly housewives shows you clogged up the DVR in Malibu with?" I smirked as Kit rolled her eyes in embarrassment, "I only recorded two seasons."
I chuckled, the tension fading fast, I walked back over to her. My hands cupping the sides of Kit's face, looking in the hazel eyes that would always look at me with so much love, that I sometimes couldn't understand how one person could love another so much and have it carry only in their eyes, but again, I also never dared to want to understand it. I bent forward, my lips brushing over Kit's before completing the connection. Kissing her softly, deeply, feeling her sigh against my lips when I parted from her. I smiled as I stepped back to answer the front door.
I walked through the small hallway that connected the foyer to the kitchen, grabbing my wallet from my coat pocket as I went. Kit was close behind me, walking to the living room to finish cleaning up the files. I pulled out a thin stack of francs and opened the front door to see Officer Bierden smiling at me. Holding up the brown paper bags and white cardboard containers that had steam sneaking out from the edges, "Dr. Avondale we stopped the delivery car from coming up. Ms. Marcus has the compound on a higher alert status until further notice."
I squinted through the late afternoon sun barging through the front door around the tall young man dressed in the black fatigue uniform of the Centre's security. Officer Ian Bierden had been on the security team for the last two years and was one of Rebecca's favorite. He was tall, almost towering over me, bright blonde hair cut in a militaristic style, a bright smile pushing his cheeks up to touch the edge of the black sunglasses he wore. I knew his soft brown eyes would be smiling with him under the tinted lenses. I rarely ever saw him not smile.
I folded the small stack of francs, holding it out to Bierden,"Thank you Ian, here. This should be enough for the food and the tip."
Bierden shook his head, "It's alright ma'am, Mr. Janes already paid for the food at the gate. You are all set." He looked over at Kit, shuffling papers and reaching for my phone as it vibrated against the arm of the chair. She held it up to me, showing me that it was Davidek calling. I nodded for her to answer it, returning my attention back to Bierden, "Well, at least take a few francs for the trouble of bringing it all the way up here."
Bierden held his hand up, "No thank you, ma'am. I am happy to help."
I smiled, his soft German accent always made me smile in the way he tried his best to avoid the hard usual German pronunciation of some English words. I reached over tucking a few francs in his front pocket, moving to take the food from his hands as Kit walked over to me, a strange look on her face as she spoke to Davidek.
She hung up on him, swiping through my phone to the email, "Davey found something he needs you to look at right now. Rebecca and him want us to come down to the Centre to look at what they found." She handed me the phone after opening up the email.
There was a quick note from Davidek over the photograph Kit opened,
"-Claire, we think we found Honey's real identity. Tell me if you recognize her, I know I do. Seems the ghost left a trail, leading all the way back to Beekeeper.-"
I scrolled down to the image. It was a personnel photograph, a lot like the one in Kit's file, Benson's, Jessica's and the thousands of others who all had to have their face documented by the government. It was a female, dark strawberry blonde hair that was up in a conservative government mandated bun. As I scrolled to her full face, I let out a breath as my jaw clenched.
I looked up at Kit, "We need to go back to the Centre now." I handed the phone back to her, Bierden's easy smile dropping as he asked, "Is everything okay, Dr. Avondale?" Kit glared at me, equally as curious as Bierden about who it was in the photograph and why both Davidek and I were suddenly tense over a simple personnel photograph.
I smiled tightly, reaching past him for our coats. "It's fine, I just need to check over somethings with Mr. Janes and Ms. Marcus." I looked back at him, handing Kit her coat, "I will contact security if we need you to upgrade the alert status set by Ms. Marcus."
Bierden nodded, "Yes ma'am." He motioned over his shoulder, "You can take my vehicle, I can walk back or have Officer Carlsberg pick me up." He propped the pile of food in one hand as he unclipped the car keys from his belt and held them towards Kit, "That way we can drive you back up when you and Ms. Witmer are done." He smiled, "We can do the final nightly sweep then, two birds, one stone."
I smiled at how efficient and kind he was, I could easily see why he was Rebecca's favorite. I nodded, "That sounds perfect, Ian." I motioned towards the food, "I can take that from you and place it in the kitchen." I had quickly lost my appetite, my mind pulling out the memories of the last time I saw that woman on my phone.
Bierden shook his head, "I will take care of it, Dr. Avondale. I will lock up after I do a sweep."
I smiled, patting the young man on the arm, "Thank you, Ian. I appreciate this." I waved at Kit, "Ready?"
She nodded, swinging the security vehicle keys once around her finger as she moved to exit the cottage, Bierden stepping to the side to let her through. I followed Kit out the door, closing it behind us as we both hurried to the small dark blue and white security SUV parked at the edge of the stone steps. Kit looked back at me over her shoulder, "Care
to tell me who that woman is?"
I clenched my jaw again, "Her name is Meredith Halston. The CIA recruiter who sat in my parent’s living room when I was seventeen. Doing her best to fill my head with all of the shiny facts of the CIA that she thought would sway me to be a part of the agency." I pulled my coat collar up, "Until I went to Oxford, she was like my shadow. Always popping up here and there to see if I was still interested in a job. She had an intensity about her that was off putting. Davidek once compared her to a serial killer. How they can slip into a human suit and fool everyone. She was good at pretending to be human, caring, but there was something about Halston that told Davidek and I she would probably smile as she strangled the life out of someone with her bare hands."
Kit unlocked the SUV, hopping in the driver's seat as I opened the passenger door. "So, she's a recruiter. I mean other than being annoying and creepy, what about her has you and Davey concerned."
I let out a slow breath, buckling the seat belt as Kit started the car, "Agent Meredith Halston was my recruiter, yes. Annoying, very much so." I paused looking at Kit, "She was also the lead operation agent on Operation Sunset." I felt my jaw tighten harder. I pressed my hands hard against the top of my thighs, "After the initial investigation of my attack in Malibu, Davidek and Rebecca dug further. Tracing Operation Sunset back to an unauthorized CIA mission set up by the Beekeeper backers. Not at all officially sanctioned by the CIA, but one of their fringe groups."
Kit drove quickly through the small roads leading back down to the Centre, glancing at me in between navigating traffic. "It was Meredith who hired the two men sent to break into my home. She created the plan, chose the weapons to use and orchestrated the mainframe hack that opened the door for the CIA hackers to access my garbage files for my research while I laid on the floor bleeding out."
I heard Kit whisper, "You are fucking kidding me." I watched her knuckles turn white as she gripped the steering wheel.
I breathed hard through my nose, trying to keep my calm, "I wish I was. Meredith was subsequently formally reprimanded by the CIA and she disappeared. Last Davidek was able to dig up was that she was sent to an obsolete outpost in the middle east, left to deal with the hostile insurgents in the early stages of the war. After that, her records, like her, became nothing more than ghost stories. The CIA claimed to have gotten rid of her, fired her, but it was clear she was far too valuable to them to erase completely."
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