Redemptio Animae

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Redemptio Animae Page 94

by Sydney Gibson

Claire mumbled, "I'm not hungry." bending down and digging in her bag for pajamas.

  I sighed, "You haven't eaten since breakfast." I motioned over my shoulder to the kitchen, "I can make whatever you want, this placed is better stocked than most grocery stores."

  Claire shook her head, "I'm fine, I just want to lie down, Kit." She turned her back to me, dropping the towel. Her bare back made me clench my jaw to fight off how badly I wanted to touch it. I looked away as she dropped a thin t-shirt over her arms, letting it rest above her bare hips that were soon covered by baggy flannel pants.

  I felt my two frustrations collide, and I spoke, "You're not fine, Claire. Stop saying it." I tossed the menus back on the small table I had gotten them from. "Stop shutting down, you don't need to anymore."

  Claire turned to face me, her eyes glaring at me as it was clear I had poked a nerve. "I said I was fine, Kit." She moved across the room, running her fingers through wet hair.

  I folded my arms across my chest, feeling my temper begin to spike. "I want you to tell me what's bothering you. Because something has since the bar and I am not going to lie in that bed with you in silence. Wait for you to come out of it and roll over and push my arms out of the way so I will hold you." I huffed, reaching up unconsciously to run my fingers over the necklace. A strange habit I had developed whenever I was out of sorts, I would run my fingers over the ring to center myself. I was definitely out of sorts right now, trying to understand how to get through to Claire before she shut down.

  I looked up to see Claire staring at my hand, her jaw tightening. I glanced at the necklace, then met her eyes again, "Is this a part of the reason why you shut down? The memories it holds?" I stepped closer to her, "I know you stare at it when you think I am not looking. I can see the emotions in your eyes every time you look at it; you swallow them down and have since that night I told you what it was." I reached with both hands to take it off, "I will stop wearing it if it bothers you so much."

  Claire grabbed my wrists from moving any further to take off the necklace, startling me, "Do you want to know what bothers me, Kit?" She looked in my eyes with hard determination, her voice rising, "What bothers me is that I don't ever want you to take that off, but I never want to look at it. Because it reminds me of another one of my failures. I failed to tell you how much you meant to me and that I wanted nothing more than to have forever with you, that you died two days after I bought that ring."

  Claire continued speaking, her eyes welling up with every word, "It bothers me that I have set in motion bringing Halston to my front door. That I have this grand plan in my head to kill her, and have thought of the thousand different ways I could do it. That bothers me; I am a doctor not a killer. It bothers me that doing this will put you, Davidek, and everyone else I care about in danger again. But my need for revenge is driving me so hard I can't think straight."

  Claire released my wrist and stepped back, tears rolling down her face out, "Then every time I look at this necklace, it fuels my desire to end this however I must so I can reset my life. Find my way back to the purpose behind buying you that ring. Find my way back to us." She turned and walked over to the bed, stopping at the edge and staring at the dark grey comforter.

  Silence cut its way into the room like a machete through tall grass. I was stunned by the outpouring of honest emotions from the blonde. I stared at her, pulling at the blankets waiting for my rebuttal. When there was none, she moved to climb into the bed to lay on her side, facing the large window.

  I swallowed hard, making a spontaneous decision, one that was the only way I knew how to prove to Claire I was never going to leave her. I ran to my bag, digging in the bottom, I wrapped my fingers around the simple silver steel box Ivan had sent and pulled it out. I turned to Claire, opening the box and looking at the contents I walked over to her, "I know you think I might have forgotten about that day." I emphasized the word day so she would know which one I was talking about but avoiding it so as not to trigger her into burrowing further away. "But I remember a lot, the good and the bad. I also remember the days before, the first date we finally had and the ranting you did in the museum."

  Claire sighed, closing her eyes, "I just want to be left alone for a little while, Kit." She yanked the blankets over her.

  I shrugged, "I already told you once, I am never going to leave you alone, so indulge me." I moved to the edge of the bed, sitting down next to her. I held the small box in my hand, "I remember a lot. Two things stuck out more than the rest. But I don't want to dwell on that."

  I plucked the platinum band from the black velvet, palmed it and set the box on the floor. I turned to Claire, "What bothers me is that you won't talk to me when you need to. It bothers me that I want nothing more for all of this to end and to let you know that I will be there with you every step of the way." I reached for her left hand that was sitting against her covered thigh, not letting go when she went to pull it back, "That first night I came to the farmhouse, I knew one thing for certain. Well, two things, that I loved you more than I ever had before." I paused as I felt the nerves hit, "I called Ivan that night. I vaguely remembered in all of his endless chattering that he had a friend who worked in the Smithsonian."

  Claire shifted in the bed, her brow furrowing in confusion. "Kit…"

  I squeezed her hand, "Let me finish. I told him the story about how you tried to buy the watermelon tourmaline. He told me his friend had mentioned that a billionaire had offered more money than the entire museum was worth to own the gemstone, but was refused. That you did try numerous times and was politely rejected each time."

  I unfurled my palm, rolling the platinum band with a thin band of watermelon tourmaline inset lengthwise, "Then I told him why I needed a favor. That the one woman I loved with my entire being had always dreamt of a wedding ring with a piece of that watermelon tourmaline in it. Ivan and his friend went above and beyond to get me the smallest piece they could off the whole thing. Making me promise I would never tell a soul how I got it, since it could result in a few federal felony charges."

  I looked at Claire as she shifted to sit up in the bed as I was sliding the ring on her finger, her eyes wide on mine. "I know I asked you before, but I want to ask you again. It's the only way I know how to show you that I am never going to leave your side. You can give me your answer when you're ready."

  I pressed two fingers against the ring as it sat at the base of her finger, I stood up, "I want to marry you Claire, and I will, when you're ready. I wanted to give you the ring now so the bad memories were replaced by some good ones." I looked out the window, "I was hoping to do this in front of the Kremlin after some of Russia's best pizza."

  I smiled and shrugged, looking back at Claire who had a strange look on her face that I couldn't tell if it was good or bad, she was staring at the ring. "I love you, Claire and I want to marry you." I was repeating myself out of pure nervousness.

  I stood up from the bed, tucking shaky hands under my arms and moving towards the bathroom, "I'm going to take a quick shower and then order pizza." I half smiled, looking away from Claire who was still motionless, eyes locked on the ring on her finger. I nodded to no one and shuffled into the bathroom.

  Turning the shower on, I stripped off my clothes as regret began to seep in. Maybe I should have waited a few more days or until the Halston situation was over with. I groaned at my own stupid temper, making me do stupid spontaneous things to prove a point. I wanted to prove to Claire that she never had to hide and do anything alone, that I would always be by her side. As her girlfriend, her bodyguard, her fiancée, her wife or whatever category she wanted to put me in. I would always be by her side and that ring was proof of the lengths I would go for her.

  Climbing in the hot water, I placed both hands against the wet granite tile. Closing my eyes and letting the hot water pound on me, I zoned out into my head and thoughts of what I would walk out to in the bedroom. Another cold front, Claire logically explaining this or that, and then asking the why's of why rig
ht now. I shook my head, pressing my forehead against the warm tile. I would just order two large pizzas' eat one of them and eat my feelings back down.

  I was so zoned out I didn't hear the bathroom door open, or the shower door open. I barely noticed the water spray being interrupted as a second body entered the shower with me. I gasped when I felt two hands slide across my wet stomach and pull me back into her warm, naked body. Claire's breasts pressed into my back as her chin settled on my shoulder, her lips grazing my ear as she whispered, "I do." before kissing the side of my neck.

  I felt my entire body come alive and vibrate as her hands moved up my stomach. The sides of her fingers grazing the sensitive skin of my breasts, moving to gently hold them. Her thumb moving across my nipples made my legs weak. I went to spin around and kiss her, but she held me tight enough I couldn't move. I could, my new strength would have made it impossible for Claire to maintain any grip on me, but I was surrendering. Surrendering to the long needed touches of her hands and the way she always had to have control over me first.

  She continued pressing kisses against my neck, moving to under my ear, her tongue grazing the bottom of my ear as her right hand moved away from my breast and roamed back down my stomach. I sighed harder when I felt the cool metal of the ring press against my nipple, followed by her leg moving between mine and asking me to open them wider for her. I complied, dropping one of my hands from the granite tile, covering Claire's on my breast to hold her there. I sucked in quick breaths as her other hand moved slowly to between my legs. Her fingers slow in their remapping of my body and how it still responded to the slow circles she made with the tips.

  I pushed my body back, moaning at the way Claire pushed her body harder against mine. I turned my face just enough to lean back and find her lips with mine. Kissing her deeply as her fingers went further. Running up and down the length of me, making my legs quiver. I moaned into her mouth, pulling back enough to whisper, "Please, Claire..."

  Claire leaned forward, smiling against my mouth as she kissed me again, biting my bottom lip at the same time her fingers slid into me. I gasped hard into her mouth at the way her fingers felt inside of me, stilling for a short moment before she began to move them in a slow, arduous rhythm. I squeezed my eyes shut to hold back the impending orgasm, I wanted this to last.

  This second first time that was an awful a lot like our first time after the symphony. Claire took her time, running her thumb over my nipple in sync with every pass her fingers made against the hard nub asking, begging for more from her. I felt my hips begin to move in time with her hand on their own, my entire body full of electricity. Crackling under the hands of the blonde who held me prisoner with her touch. I bent my head down, looking at her hand imbedded between my legs. I groaned out another plea, spurring Claire to ease the slow torture.

  She bent forward, kissing my neck as she increased the pace. Sliding her thumb around to ease the delicious pain she pressed up with one final hard motion of her fingers, making me come hard and loud. Screaming out her name as my legs gave out and she had to stumble forward and push us both against the wet tile to hold me up and let my ride out the waves of pleasure she caused.

  I panted with my forehead pressed against the tile, opening one eye to look at the woman who reduced me to a happy pile of rubbery shambles, I smiled, "One day, one day in the near future, will you ever let me have you first?" I moaned the rest of the words out when Claire pulled her hand free from me, her fingers running over very sensitive areas. Igniting the fire one more, I rolled to face her. Running my eyes over her naked wet body, I bit my lip.

  Claire smirked, running her hands over her wet hair to push it back, "Maybe one day." She moved towards me, her arms wrapping around my waist, pulling me back against her hot, wet skin. She lowered her head, brushing her lips over mine, "I can't resist you anymore Kit, I don't care if you think I need to eat more or sleep more." She kissed me softly, "I want you, I need you." Claire leaned her forehead against mine, the tone of her voice telling me that she was also speaking of the conversation we just had in the bedroom. "I can't wait anymore, Kit." She looked up at me with blue green eyes, heavy with desire and need.

  I smiled, running my hands up her back and pulling her closer so her breasts pressed against mine, making us both sigh in anticipation. I leaned forward, kissing her deeply, murmuring against her lips, "I can't either." I let my hand drift across and down her stomach, wasting no time I slid my fingers in the wetness I knew wasn't just from the shower. I smiled at the reaction from Claire, her back arching back in my arms as I held her steady, the way her hips ground down on my hand, asking me to give her more and the soft sounds of frustration and pleasure she always made when I took my time, took too slow for her liking, but I didn't care, I wanted to go slow. I wanted to feel her again for the first time, relearn the sounds she made when I brought her right to the edge and backed off, opting to kiss her right as I made her come. Things I had longed to hear again and now that I was, nothing would take me out of this moment. Not even the blonde who was gently biting my shoulder, covering my hands between her legs with hers and forcing me to move faster.

  Nothing would take this away from me.

  Kit sat against me in the bed, my legs wrapped around hers, my chest pressed against her back as she handed me another slice of pizza. Blankets half covering us, a robe discarded on the edge of the bed. I had my chin on her shoulder as I chewed the pizza, watching her devour another slice. Kit had taken down almost half of the first large pizza on her own and showed no signs of stopping.

  I kissed her shoulder, leaning back to finish my slice and move to get up and find a shirt to cover my chilling body. Kit and I had spent an hour in the shower making love, then took it to the bed where she proved to me that her new energy levels were abundant. We had reconnected physically for almost four hours until I tapped out and asked for a break, more like my body asked for a break. It wanted to eat something to refuel and to settle down from the intense activity Kit and I were indulging in. I was still not a hundred percent and it had been a long time since I did anything but shuffle around the farmhouse.

  I stumbled out of the bed, the slice of pizza stuck in my mouth as I walked to the t-shirt I had stripped off to go into the shower.

  "Clothes already?" Kit whined playfully around a mouthful of pizza, "I thought this was just a break." She then gave me big puppy dog eyes, "We have a lot to make up for."

  I chuckled, dropping the hem of the shirt over my body before walking back over to Kit, kissing her pizza stuffed mouth, I sat on the bed. Letting my eyes freely roam over the naked woman, I sighed, "We do, but I don't have the energy you do and I need to eat and rest." I kissed her again, dropping the crust of my slice in the box; I caught the ring on my finger. "I still can't believe you managed to do this."

  I grinned holding it up in the light. The thin piece of watermelon tourmaline was perfect. It had all the perfect gradient of pink to green and it was inset so I would never have to worry about it catching on anything. Kit scooted forward, her arms coming around my waist as her chin settled on my shoulder, "Neither can I." She pressed a slow kiss against my neck, "We will have to thank Ivan and send him a lifetime of comic books or lifetime passes to those comic con thingies he talks about."

  I laughed, dropping my hands to cover Kit's, leaning back into her I found her lips with mine. Kissing her until I heard her moan and her grip on me tightened. I broke off the kiss, knowing if I didn't she would pounce and my requested break would be over. I shifted in her arms so I could face her, reaching up to run my hand across her cheek, I looked down at the necklace delicately swinging from her neck. I lifted it up, "When this is all over, I will buy you a new ring. And another when we are married."

  I heard Kit sigh, moving to kiss my forehead she mumbled, "Does this mean we are officially engaged?"

  I grinned, dropping the necklace back into its tiny orbit; I looked up in the hazel eyes that held my entire world, "Yes."

  Kit gr
inned, pulling me into her arms, "Davey owes me another ten bucks."

  I buried my face in her neck, sighing contently, I whispered, "Kit, I'm sorry, for earlier. It's been." I paused searching for the right words, "Another new experience, I guess." I took a deep breath, exhaustion starting to creep in. I pressed my hands against her bare back, "It's like I'm relearning how to do everything again." I navigated my words carefully; I didn't want to bring the outside world or Halston into this moment. I wanted to save this moment for the good part of my memory to draw on when I needed the extra strength and reminder I was not alone and never would be.

  Kit leaned back in my arms, running her hands over my hair, "I know, but this time you're not alone and I am not going anywhere but right here." She dropped her hand to press against my thumping heart. I nodded and leaned back in her arms, taking in another deep breath as sleep was starting to chase after me harder. Kit suddenly moved, lifting me up she laid me down on the bed with one arm. I was still getting adjusted to how strong Kit was. Once or twice throughout our love making, I was lifted up with one arm. Held against a wall with one arm and little effort from Kit, all of it was amazing to me scientifically and unbelievably arousing at the same time. As strong as she was now, Kit was still gentle and still surrendered control to me when I wanted it and took it.

  I smiled at the naked redhead weakly, trying to find the words to tell her I was not in the mood. Kit rolled her eyes and stood up, picking up the now empty pizza box and setting it on the floor, she moved to her bag. Pulling out a t-shirt and cotton sleep shorts she looked back at me and caught me staring at her completely naked. Rethinking how tired I really wasn't. Kit grinned, throwing the shirt on, "I could go all night but you need to sleep." She then covered up the strong thighs I could spend days kissing, "We can get up early for another shower and then maybe." Kit moved to the bed, hopping up and crawling over to me, "Maybe we can explore one of those empty train cars on the ride back to the farmhouse." She kissed me hard and quick, shuffling under the covers, she held her arms open for me to crawl in, "I've always had this strange fantasy about trains ever since I saw that one James Bond movie when I was a teenager."

 

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