Clifford chuckled. “I suppose the idea never crossed my mind, but now that I ponder on it...” He squeezed Constance’s hand. “What do you think, my dear?”
The older woman looked at Juliana. “Is it all right with you?”
Juliana held her breath—her uncertainty was obvious through her stiff body. Her wide gaze darted around the table at everyone. Andrew wanted to laugh, but refrained.
“I—I suppose so. But we really need to return to Scotland soon. Grandmama isn’t doing well.”
Andrew patted Juliana’s leg. “But darling, I’m certain one of the servants will send us a missive if her health declines. And if that happens, we can always take Madeline with us.”
Across the table from him, Maddie clapped. “Splendid idea.”
Clifford raised his glass of wine. “Then it’s settled. We’ll sail to Paris as soon as we can after Juliana’s birthday ball.”
Constance raised her glass, but her hand shook. She gave Juliana a happy, but weak smile.
After Clifford finished his glass, he pushed away from the table and stood. “It looks like I need to get Constance to bed. We don’t want to wear her out before the party.”
Andrew stood and helped his father-in-law, then bent and kissed Constance on the hand. “I’m happy I was able to visit with you for a little while tonight. You get some rest.”
The older woman patted his cheek. “You are such a charming man, Andrew. We are certainly fortunate to have you in the family.”
Andrew looked over his shoulder and silently communicated for Juliana to play along. Taking a deep breath, she stood and walked to Constance.
“Goodnight...Mother.” Juliana leaned down and kissed the older woman’s cheek.
Tears streamed down Constance’s face as she smiled at Juliana. Clifford picked his wife up and carried her out of the room.
Madeline moved next to Juliana and touched her arm. “Thank you. Mother has been waiting a long time for you to call her that. I think you have helped her heart more than any doctor could.”
She turned and grasped Andrew’s hand. The girl’s eyes shimmered. “And thank you for offering to stay with me. We’ll all have a splendid time together, I’m quite certain. I look forward to getting to know you better.”
Madeline withdrew and walked out of the dining room.
Andrew almost felt proud of himself. Almost. Now he waited for Juliana’s onslaught, and especially the moment when he kissed her again to calm her temper. He was determined to tame her one way or another.
* * * *
Juliana stared at the empty doorway. Emotion squeezed her chest, and tears threatened her eyes. Reality was a hard lesson to learn, and right now she berated herself. How could she have been so cruel to her stepmother all these years?
Andrew was right when he’d called her cold-hearted. She’d been like that for as long as she could remember. But why, exactly? What had Constance ever done to her? Constance didn’t start trying to run Juliana’s life until she turned sixteen.
The light brush of Andrew’s fingers against her arm snapped her out of her thoughts.
“Juliana? Would you like to take a walk with me outside? I think you need some fresh air.”
She met his stare. “What makes you presume to know this?”
The corner of his mouth lifted. With the back of his knuckles, he swiped at a tear running down her cheek.
“Oh, I don’t know. Call it husbandly intuition, if you will.”
She touched a finger to her eyes, finally realizing she was crying. Sucking in a deep breath, she dried her eyes with the back of her hand. “A walk outside sounds most refreshing.”
Silence lasted between them as they strolled the grounds. The full moon helped light their way since her father hadn’t instructed his servants to properly light the lanterns in the back. A gentle wind breezed through the trees and stirred a lock of hair against her neck. The clean air helped to clear her mind, too, and guilt didn’t weigh so heavily on her heart.
“Thank you, Andrew.” She glanced at him and smiled.
“Whatever for?”
“You are the one who made my step...um...my mother happy, not I.”
“But you are the one who called her Mother. I didn’t force you to do that.”
She shrugged. “True, but if you hadn’t made me look like the worried, caring daughter, then I wouldn’t have played along.”
“Are you sorry you did?”
It took her a few minutes to think about her answer, only because confusion still swam inside her head. She would never regret living with her grandmama. Yet perhaps if she had just allowed Constance to be her mother, things would be different between them. Now she doubted Constance was really the ogre Juliana had turned her into so long ago. All of these pains she’d had over the years could have bee ignored if she hadn’t been so spoiled and selfish.
She shook her head. “I suppose I’m not sorry I said that. I do, however, feel extremely sorrowful.”
“Why?”
She looked at Andrew’s handsome face again. The outside shadows made his dreamy blue eyes even dreamier. Either that or it was the lightheadedness she experienced because of the confusing evening. What was wrong with her? Why was she so emotional tonight?
“I’m very guilty because it’s taken me so long to feel this way about Constance. She could have died before I even realized I didn’t hate her after all.” She paused as she curled a lock of hair around her finger. “I can’t remember my mother that well because I was so young when she died, but I remember the pain and grieving my father and I experienced. I would hate to see my father live through it again.”
“Is that why you have kept your distance? Because you don’t want to feel that kind of pain again?
“Possibly.” She wrung her hands against her middle.
He took her hand and hooked it around his elbow, bringing her closer beside him. “Tell me how your mother died.”
Once again, her chest tightened. Her mother’s death was the very reason Juliana resented marriage. She really didn’t want to discuss this with Andrew—or anyone for that matter. But his tone of voice soothed her somehow; comforted her more than she expected.
“Childbirth. She died while giving birth to my baby brother. They both died that day.” Emotion choked her up, and she clamped her lips together.
They walked a little while longer in silence. Finally, he stroked her hand. “I’m sorry.”
She blinked and looked at him. “Whatever for? You didn’t know my mother.”
He stopped and linked his hands with hers. “Not that. I’m sorry for everything, especially the things I said to you earlier this evening. I shouldn’t have taken my anger out on you.”
Memories from the passionate moments on her bed flooded her mind and warmed her cheeks. “Oh.” She glanced down at the grass. “Why did you become so angry? Was it when I told you I didn’t want you touching me?”
“In a way, yes. You see, a man has certain desires, especially when he’s constantly around a beautiful woman.”
He reached out to touch her face, but dropped his hand mere inches before it reached its target. Disappointment washed through her. Although, she’d told him she didn’t want his touch, her body cried out for it every time he was near.
“Anyway, I apologize for being so forceful earlier.”
He might have been at first, but just before Madeline had disrupted their passionate moment, Juliana had been thinking entirely different. She had wanted his touch and his kiss.
She gave him a tender smile. “Thank you. I accept your apology.”
Turning, she continued walking. Her hand stayed in his, and even though she should pull away, it felt too nice to do it now.
Inwardly, she scolded herself. Here she was telling him not to touch her anymore, and yet she still led him on by allowing him to hold her hand. What was wrong with her? Was her self-discipline that weak? What happened to the stubborn woman she’d been before meeting him?
“Yes?”
“Are you ever going to get that way again?”
“What way?”
“Like you were this afternoon in my room. You know—passionate.”
He laughed out loud. “Oh, Juliana. You are a funny one. Don’t you know that all men get like that when they are being tempted by an enchanting woman?”
“Yes, I suppose.” She kept her attention on the ground so she wouldn’t have to look at him. “But our situation is different. We aren’t really married. This is just a farce. You are in my employ, for heaven’s sake.”
“I understand that, Juliana, but I will still probably get that way again.”
She snapped her head to look at him. Humor laced his smiling face, but there was also a flicker of desire in his steamy eyes. “Why?”
Stopping, he chuckled. “Because my sweet, you will be constantly teasing me whether you know it or not. Brushing up against me, batting your eyes, and giving me those tender smiles of yours awakens a longing inside me I haven’t felt for a while. It shouldn’t, I know, but I’m helpless to stop it. After all, I am a normal man.”
She sucked in a breath. “What will you do? I mean, you won’t...um...come into my room, will you?”
He laughed again. “I’ll try not to.”
“What do you mean you’ll try not to?” She slapped his shoulder.
“All right, I won’t. But I have to do something about my manly cravings.”
Heat flooded her face. Where’s my fan when I need it? This conversation was certainly not appropriate. And yet she became breathless, and somewhat stimulated. “What, pray, would that be?” Although, she figured she already knew. She licked her suddenly dry lips. “Are you trying to hint that you’ll find another woman if I don’t allow your attentions?”
The laugh lines around his mouth disappeared and a serious expression took over. He stepped closer and stroked her cheek. “Now why would I do that?”
Oh! He was impossible, and not answering her question at all. Indeed, he was a man, and all men she knew would find another woman. Jealous rage poured through her, tightening her chest and throat. She tried to convince herself she didn’t care what he did. Unfortunately, it wasn’t working. “I forbid it!”
His eyes widened. “You what?” His voice rose. “You forbid it?”
“Yes. I will not allow you to find some trollop behind my back.”
“Listen, Miss Priss.” His eyebrow arched. “Ye are payin’ me tae be yer pretend husband. Ya don’t think of me as a real husband, so ye don’t have any say on whether or no’ I choose tae find another woman. And unless ya perform the task yerself, I don’t want tae hear any complaints.”
Anger boiled through her. She couldn’t think straight, especially with his deep Scottish accent. But imagining him with another woman kissing her the way he’d kissed Juliana… She shivered. No. She wouldn’t allow him to do that. “But...but...”
“Juliana.” He pushed his fingers through his hair and drew in a heavy breath. “I will promise you something, though. When I do find someone, I will not tell you. I will be very discreet and you won’t even know.”
Pain shot through her heart and she squeezed her eyes closed. His promise certainly didn’t make her feel any better. But he was correct. He wasn’t her real husband, so she shouldn’t expect his loyalty. After all, he was a man...and men did have certain needs. It was the way of the world. She knew that, but she didn’t like it one bit, and never had.
She straightened her shoulders and met his stare. “It doesn’t matter to me how many women you seduce, but don’t make it public knowledge. My family doesn’t need to know.”
“They won’t hear it from me.” He held up his hands in surrender.
“Fine. Good night, Mr. Dean.” With a heavy heart, she turned and walked back to the house.
“Pleasant dreams, Miss Ice Queen,” he mumbled behind her.
Tears stung her eyes and she blinked back the betraying emotion. Something must be wrong with her to act in such a way. It wasn’t like her to act like a totally ninny!
* * * *
The next few days passed with increasing slowness as the Beaumont family and staff prepared for Juliana’s birthday and her parents’ trip. Andrew was ready to scream in frustration. The little discussion he’d had with his wife the other night turned out horrid. Out of anger, he said things he didn’t mean. He knew they were married, and he would never seek another woman’s company. He could tell it made Juliana upset, but he couldn’t bring himself to tell her the truth. Even if he wanted, he couldn’t because she would not let him near her, even while around the family. She kept smiling for appearances sake, but every time he tried to touch her arm or put his arm around her, she skirted away from him.
Madeline, on the other hand, was exactly opposite.
The young woman was almost overeager to help him. She touched him much too often, batted her eyes, and stood very close. He wasn’t daft. He knew Madeline had taken a liking to him. But he hoped she wouldn’t pursue it further.
The younger sister hung on his every word, and when he mentioned he liked to fish, she drove him to a place not far from their estate where everyone went to indulge in the leisure activity. She even offered to drive him into town to do some shopping, but he declined. He wasn’t ready to meet people without Juliana on his arm.
Unfortunately, his dear wife wouldn’t grant that request. She claimed she had other things to do. Yet she spent too much time moping in her room...and ignoring his knocks. The few times he caught her alone, she only snapped at him to leave.
It hurt to know she felt this way about him. Even as charming as he’d been that first day, she still treated him with disrespect, and he didn’t know how to change her mood. Perhaps he did need to tell her the truth—that he would not find another woman. Of course, that might make him want to tell her the truth about their marriage, and he wasn’t ready to do that yet. He wanted her acceptance first, and yes, perhaps gain her love as well.
Andrew walked into the house, not knowing where to go when sweet voices drifted through the corridor. He looked up at the top of the curving staircase as Juliana and Constance slowly descended. Juliana’s arm supported her stepmother’s as the older woman took careful steps.
He hurried up to help. When Constance saw him, her eyes widened and she smiled.
“Why thank you, Andrew.”
He took over and let Juliana move away. “My pleasure,” he said.
When they reached the bottom, Constance shooed them with her hands. “You two don’t need to coddle me. You should be outside enjoying the beautiful day. In fact, I insist you go riding through Kensington Gardens.”
Juliana baulked. Andrew bit back a laugh. Perhaps he could get her to commit to an outing in front of Constance.
“I would love to.” He gave Juliana a wink and presented his arm. “What do you say, my dear wife? Would you care to accompany me on a ride?”
Juliana’s gaze jumped between Constance and Andrew. Her lips thinned as she narrowed her glare on him.
“Oh come now, Juliana,” Constance urged. “It’s been a long time since you’ve enjoyed an outing. I’m quite certain you will run across several of your childhood friends, and I think by now they would have heard about your husband. Don’t you think this would be a good time to introduce Andrew to society?”
“Well...” Juliana shrugged. “I thought I could introduce him at my birthday party.”
Andrew’s chest clenched. Something wasn’t right. Why was Juliana acting this way? Was it because she was embarrassed to present him as her husband? If so, she should have thought about that before now.
He stepped closer to Juliana and grasped her shoulders. Her eyes widened and her mouth parted. Gently, he rubbed his thumbs across the exposed skin at her neck. “Why don’t we just go for a drive and not worry about making introductions? I would very much like to be alone with my w
ife for a few hours.”
Constance giggled. “Oh, to be young and in love one more time.” She shooed them with her hands again. “Go now. I won’t take no for an answer.”
Without waiting for Juliana’s response, Andrew pulled her hand and hooked it around his arm, leading her toward the door. Now that her back was to her stepmother, Juliana’s glare pierced right through him. If anything, the afternoon ride would be very adventurous—through verbal swordplay, of course.
He looked forward to the challenge.
Chapter Six
A slight breeze blew against Juliana’s face as she held the parasol toward the glaring sun to protect her fair skin. The green trees nodded against the wind and spring flowers budded in the gardens lining the trail-ways of Kensington Gardens. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply, taking in the scents from the lilacs and roses.
Although a beautiful day for a ride, all she could think about was returning home and lying down. She hadn’t been feeling well the past couple of days, and being around people made her very uncomfortable. But even more awkward was the tender and passionate man beside her stirring feelings that she wasn’t certain she approved of.
“Is there something you wish to discuss?” Andrew asked.
She dared a glance at him. As difficult as it was to admit, he looked rather refined sitting in her father’s buggy as he held the reins. She tightened her hand around her parasol, switching her gaze to the road ahead instead of the very attractive man next to her.
“Nothing at all,” she answered in a clipped tone.
Keeping his gaze straight, his jaw hardened, and his knuckles turned white as he gripped the leather reins. “I think differently, my dear. Your attitude has changed—for the worse, I might add.”
“Why should it matter to you?”
He looked at her for a brief moment before returning his gaze to the road. “Why? Because you are most stubborn and impossible, when only a couple of days ago, you were sweet as honey. Have I not been doing as you’ve wished since we arrived? Have I not impressed your family?”
“Yes, you’ve given a remarkable performance, but that’s not why I’m irritated. I had thought we would stay long enough to get my party over with and collect my inheritance before heading back, but you changed those plans without even consulting me. Do you not know what kind of problems it will cause if we remain here?”
True Love's Deception (book 3) (The Fielding Brothers Saga) Page 7