Walking in Two Worlds

by Wab Kinew

  Liumei blinked once or twice on the screen. “Let me get somewhere more private.” She ducked into what appeared to be a supply room. Bottles of disinfectant lined the shelves along the wall behind her. “Alright, so you know your brother has cancer. You know it’s advanced, yes?” Bugz nodded over the video link. “Okay, so what else would you like to know?”

  “How long does he have?”

  “We can’t say for sure. There are always exceptio—”

  “Just tell me.”

  “Okay,” Liumei hesitated. “A few months, maybe, but then again…could be less than that.”

  Bugz lost the ability to speak; she simply nodded at the image of Liumei she saw on-screen. Bugz avoided Feng’s gaze.

  “Thanks, Auntie,” he said. “I’ll see you later.” Feng hung up and reached to pull Bugz close again. Leaning into his chest, she felt the eagle whistle rubbing against her arm. She reached into the collar of his hoodie and pulled the whistle out by its lanyard. She giggled through tears. Feng smiled.

  “I like it,” Bugz said.

  Bugz fumbled with the whistle and brought it to her lips. She blew on it gently. A soft, hollow sound emerged from the thin bone cylinder. She smiled and sniffled before shaking her head. “Not supposed to do that,” she whispered.

  “What?”

  “You’re not supposed to whistle at night.”

  Feng listened. Bugz took his silence as an invitation to continue.

  “They say if you whistle at night, the northern lights will come and take you away.”

  “Is that bad?”

  Bugz looked at Feng as if he were an innocent child. She smiled just the same. “Yeah, it’s bad. The northern lights are our Ancestors. They’re dancing in the happy hunting grounds, in heaven, the Spirit World.” She paused as she thought of the Floraverse.

  “Spirit World, right?” Feng echoed her thought, though she wondered if the automatic translator had conveyed her true meaning. She stepped back, looked at Feng, and wondered how something as ugly as Clan:LESS, and everything they stood for, could befoul a place as beautiful as the Spirit World. She couldn’t understand how a person who seemed as good as Feng could fall into their neo-alt-right orbit. She shook her head and stepped further away from him.

  “Anyways, it’s not good because we’re supposed to keep the living and the dead separate. If you invite the northern lights here, you’re inviting death. If they take you away, it means they take you away to heaven.”

  “I don’t know. Why would you be afraid of your Ancestors or your loved ones? I mean, isn’t that what we’re hoping for—to be reunited?”

  Bugz wanted to say yes, but tradition tugged her in the opposite direction. “I don’t know.” She looked to the rocks beneath her feet. “All I know is my brother is here now. And I want him to stay with us. Here. On this side.” She studied the beadwork on the whistle again. “Waawaate. His name means ‘northern lights.’ ”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah.” Bugz started down the bush trail. She motioned for Feng to follow. He picked up his bike and walked it beside her. “This one time we came out in the bush, a bunch of us kids. We saw the northern lights dancing high above us, green and turquoise. And Waawaate starts whistling. All the kids got scared and yelled at him: ‘No,’ ‘Don’t,’ ‘You’re not supposed to do that!’ And we’re freaking out, but you know how he is…he has that big grin on his face, and he keeps whistling.” Bugz shook her head, smiling. “Then, no word of a lie, the northern lights start getting brighter and brighter. Our eyes must have been as big as cartoon characters’. So Waawaate starts hamming it up—he dances around and starts whistling a song. And I kid you not, the northern lights start getting even brighter and they even change color.” Bugz chuckled silently. “They turned all shades of pink, and they’re so bright, you wouldn’t believe it. I swear to god, they were getting closer to us too. Finally, Waawaate finishes his song, and it breaks the spell. One of the kids runs away, and then we all start running away, running for our lives. Waawaate’s chasing after us, yelling through the bush, ‘Waawaate niin! Waawaate niin!!’—which means ‘I am the northern lights!’ ” Bugz was still smiling. “Anyways, I hated him for about two days straight after that for scaring me. But now…”

  “What a great memory.” Feng smiled too. He looked to the sky and back to Bugz. “First time I saw the northern lights was on a postcard Liumei sent me from Alaska. I thought they were magic. They were in the shape of the infinity symbol. She wrote about how it reminded her of home. The infinity symbol means good luck to us.”

  “Here, it’s the symbol of the Métis.”

  “What?” Feng asked.

  “Métis. The people of the Red River. They’re the descendants of the Anishinaabe and Cree who married the French and Scottish fur traders.”

  “Really?”

  “Yup. They’ve got their own language, Michif. Their own culture. They even have their own flag. It’s got a giant infinity symbol on it.”

  “Cool.”

  “Yeah, it is. The two sides of their heritage, united. Forever.”

  Feng leaned his bike on a tree and used a stick to trace an infinity symbol in the earth in front of them. “Look what I made you.”

  Bugz grinned. “Wherever did you get the idea for that symbol?”

  “It represents our two sides, me and you, coming together,” Feng said, doing everything he could to not laugh.

  “Yech.” Bugz pretended to gag. “Don’t disrespect the great Métis nation with your cheesy pick-up lines.”

  She laughed and waved Feng away. As he chuckled, she took a fork in the path away from the spot they’d visited before. They headed deeper into the forest.

  CHAPTER 38

  Bugz led Feng through a cedar bog and into a clearing. At its center stood a huge circle formed by large rocks stacked on top of one another.

  “Here it is,” Bugz announced, walking up to the oracle. “The Thunderbird’s Nest.”

  “I can’t even see anything,” Feng said, enraptured by the autumnal glow of his phone. “It’s nothing but energy.”

  “Put your phone away. You’re going to let your stupid friends know where we are.”

  “Right.” Feng complied. “So this is your secret.”

  “This is my secret.”

  Bugz sat down on the earth beside the nest and patted a spot beside her. Feng sat, legs crossed. He watched as Bugz closed her eyes and whispered a prayer in the Anishinaabe language beneath her breath. When she opened her eyes Feng quickly cast his gaze away, as though he’d been staring at something else.

  “I don’t know why you’re nervous.” Bugz broke the silence. “I always feel at peace when I come here. It’s the only time I feel this calm. In the real world, anyway.”

  “What is this place, really?”

  “I told you—it’s a Thunderbird’s Nest,” she said seriously, before cracking a smile. “My dad brought us here when we were kids. We’d come here and make a tobacco offering before we’d go hunting or picking medicine in the area.”

  Bugz pulled a curved blade with a wooden handle from her pocket. It looked more like a carving knife than a weapon.

  “He gave me this on one of those trips.” She handed it to Feng. “I bring it with me everywhere I go.” He nodded and handed it back before motioning to the nest.

  “Who built it?”

  “Thunderbirds, obviously.”

  “I’m guessing a Thunderbird is one of those giant eagles with the lightning bolts that you ride around on in the ’Verse.”

  “Yup.”

  “But who built this one in the real world?”

  “Thunderbirds did.” Bugz appeared to study the lichen growing on the rocks closest to her. “That’s my story and I’m sticking with it.”

  “I don
’t believe that,” Feng said.

  “Believe it,” Bugz replied.

  “Seriously, though, what is this place?” he asked.

  “This is where the Thunderbirds are born. My Ancestors came here to thank them for taking care of us, for bringing the storms that nourish the land in the summer and scaring off the underwater panthers that threaten us.”

  “I thought that leopard-snake thing was your friend.”

  “He is. But my Ancestors were afraid of his kind.” Bugz turned to face a puzzled Feng. “Hey, sometimes you’ve got to be bad if you wanna be this good.”

  Feng laughed at her unexpected swagger, apparently unsure if his automatic translator was working properly.

  “Anyway, if you’re asking why this place made me so good in the Floraverse, I don’t know,” Bugz said. “Call it a glitch, call it the nexus between the real world and the digital world. Whatever it is, when I come here to do something in the ’Verse, it supercharges it.”

  Feng spun his phone in his hand, listening intently. He spun the phone again before bringing it to rest under his chin. “Still, you have some pretty crazy reflexes,” he added. “I bet anyone could come here and they still wouldn’t understand the ’Verse the way you do.”

  “This is only half of my secret.” Bugz looked off into the distance beyond the nest. “There’s another stone formation like this in the Spirit World, at the bottom of Lake of the Torches. We found it when Mishi-pizhiw and the Thunderbirds were tearing up the land. A stone ring buried deep underground. Now it’s Mishi-pizhiw’s nest.”

  “So you can supercharge stuff there too.”

  Bugz nodded. “It’s more than that,” she said, preparing herself for his reaction to what she was about to reveal. She inhaled. “It’s a respawn point into the Spirit World.”

  “That’s not possible. You have to respawn in AR first and work your way back to the Spirit World.”

  Bugz shook her head. “Put your headset on and go to Mishi-pizhiw’s nest. It’s at the bottom of the lake.”

  Feng quickly followed her instructions. “Okay, now what?” Feng asked from behind his headset, his ’Versona swimming around on-screen near the periphery of Mishi-pizhiw’s nest.

  “Destroy my ’Versona,” Bugz said.

  “No. It’ll take you forever to get back.”

  “Just do it.”

  “No. I don’t believe you.”

  “Fine.” Bugz put her headset on. After a few blinks, her ’Versona slumped to the seafloor in the Spirit World and her gamertag rose slowly. Feng’s jaw dropped.

  In the real world, Bugz lifted her headset and walked to the center of the nest, phone in hand and AR mode activated. As she reached the middle of the real-world nest, her ’Versona suddenly reappeared in front of Feng in the center of Mishi-pizhiw’s nest in the Spirit World, sparkling and shimmering with energy. Her experience points, bitcoins, and gifts returned at their previous level. Her ’Versona, operating under AI, stepped out of the digital nest in the Spirit World completely rejuvenated.

  Feng removed his headset and re-engaged with Bugz in the real world. His eyes widened. “No wonder you’re so much better!” He shook his head in disbelief. “While everyone else wastes their time clawing their way back to the Spirit World, you can just dive right back in.”

  Bugz felt a pang. Feng’s reaction was just what she’d feared. She’d rushed to tell him because she wanted to trust him completely. To dismiss whatever remained of her concerns about him. A part of her had secretly hoped he’d hear the news and tell her it didn’t matter because he—and only he—saw the innate talent deep inside her that accounted for her greatness.

  “You kept experimenting, going big and failing, all the while building your skills because you knew even if you died, you’d just respawn. Meanwhile, the rest of us waited months, even years, to get a chance to try again.” Feng spoke for his own benefit, seeming oblivious to Bugz’s presence now.

  “Okay.” Bugz felt as if the blood beneath her skin was growing hotter and hotter. You don’t know how hard I’ve worked at this. A wave of stress coursed through her body.

  “Wow, I wish I could’ve had this…”

  “Why? So you could’ve joined Clan:LESS quicker?” Bugz took a deep breath.

  “If I had this, I wouldn’t need a clan. I’d be solo, just like you.”

  “You could never do what I do.” Bugz stood and turned to leave. “I shouldn’t’ve told you.”

  Feng looked at her, puzzled. “I’m sorry.” He appeared unsure what to say next, but took a step forward. “Don’t leave.” He reached for her hand, and Bugz let him take it. “I’m glad you told me.”

  Bugz nodded. She felt the warmth of Feng’s palm enveloping her fingers. She wondered if her hands felt sweaty. “You know what’s messed up? The nest really is a sacred site. It’s been important to my people for millennia.” She scanned their surroundings. “But what gave it power in the Floraverse is that it’s a glitch. Some problem with the map. It screws phones up when they come here.” She tilted her head skyward. She and Feng held hands as they looked at the twinkling stars above. A meteor streaked across the sky.

  “Ursa Major.” Feng named the constellation the shooting star cut across.

  “Binesi.” Bugz called it by its Anishinaabe name, the word for Thunderbird. They stood for a while, watching the silent sky above.

  “How do you like that? A glitch in the map.” Bugz turned to face Feng, who met her gaze. “They’ve mapped everything in the world—the deep seas, even parts of space. They’ve mapped it all perfectly. Everything except the Rez. They never thought to map the Rez.” Bugz laughed. “But I took that glitch and did something with it. I turned it into my superpower.” She cocked her head. “It’s kind of like what we did with the Rez itself. They gave us scraps and we made it food.”

  A bat flew by just over their heads. “No one knows I still come here. Not even my dad. I think everyone’s forgotten about this place except me.”

  A firefly lit up and danced in the air above them.

  “So…” Bugz smiled and took a half step closer to Feng. “Can you keep my secret?”

  “Absolutely.”

  CHAPTER 39

  Bugz couldn’t escape the eerie dream. Unlike in the Floraverse, she couldn’t disconnect. She could only step forward.

  Bugz was a child again, carried in her mother’s arms. They stood in a Sundance arbor, the site of that most sacred of ceremonies, as her father prepared to pierce. Bugz recognized the scene as one of her childhood memories—an old sepia filmstrip, everything soaked in a warm honey glow. She saw her father’s chapped lips. He’d fasted, without food or water, for four days as part of the ceremony. Frank shuffled slowly, tired from dancing since before dawn on each of those days.

  Bugz watched her father step forward onto a buffalo robe and pop two small black wooden pegs in his mouth. A Sundancer grabbed her father’s upper arm, pinching the skin between his fingers and lancing it with a scalpel. The dancer pushed the blade through until it emerged from Frank’s skin a half-inch away. A second dancer slid one of the wooden pegs through the hole. The two men repeated the process on the other arm; then they shook hands and hugged her dad. He turned to face Bugz. She could only focus on the wooden peg embedded in each of his arms. Summer and Bugz followed Frank to a spot farther away in the arbor, where he retrieved a forked rope tied to the tree at the center of the space. The Sundancers harnessed each end of the rope to the pegs in her father’s arms.

  Bugz watched from the safety of her mother’s embrace as her father danced in place and stared at the tree, blood slowly trickling from his arms. Summer blew the eagle whistle she wore around her neck. After a small eternity, Frank ran backward until the tightening rope ripped the pegs from his skin and sent the harness flying back toward the tree.

  “Why did
Daddy do that?” Bugz asked her mother.

  “Because he wants his prayers to come true.”

  “But why not just give tobacco?”

  “Because the Creator made everything. Sacrificing a piece of ourselves is the only thing we can really give to the Creator,” her mom explained, wiping away a tear.

  Summer put Bugz down on the ground and suddenly the skies clouded over. Everything turned cold, dark, and gray. The leaves fell from the cottonwood tree; only the dry, dead branches remained, clawing the sky. Bugz looked down at her arms and saw she was marked for the piercing ceremony. She’d never pierced before. Now she knew her dream was drifting from memory and taking her someplace new. Her heart raced.

  Bugz saw Waawaate walking to her with a scalpel in his hand. She knew he would cut her, even if the look on his face said he didn’t want to. He touched the skin on her shoulder.

  Bugz woke up with a start. Scanning her darkened room, she fumbled for her phone and found its reassuring glow.

  CHAPTER 40

  The bullets screamed down, their tracers illuminating the darkness around Lake of the Torches. Artillery crashed through rain onto the pebble beach, pinning Bugz down behind two large boulders. She stuck one eye out around the corner and pulled back instantly. A barrage of laser fire exploded on the spot where her head had been. Bugz couldn’t find any room to maneuver. Clan:LESS had caught her completely off guard this time.

  Why didn’t I see them coming?

  A helicopter gunship dropped from the sky just a few dozen yards away from Bugz, cutting her self-interrogation short. The ship opened fire. Bugz dove into a ninja roll to escape the bullets, which riddled the ground behind her. She ran along the shore, away from the horde, knowing they’d pounce on her again in an instant. She waved her hand and giant roots shot up from the nearby forest floor, but the upgraded Clan:LESS weapons tore them to shreds faster than they had in the past. Nothing Bugz did bought her enough time.