The Secrets She Kept

by Brenda Novak

  Unfortunately, she didn’t have good news.

  20

  “HOPEFULLY, THAT’LL BE the end of that,” Rocki said as she put her phone down on the counter. But she wasn’t nearly as confident as she was pretending.

  Her husband was sitting at the kitchen table cradling a cup of coffee that had to be cold by now. She hadn’t seen him take one sip since he’d poured it. He’d brought the kids to his mother’s, who’d asked to have them for the day, but he hadn’t gone to work. He’d called his father to say he needed a day off, and she hadn’t gone to open their video game store. They didn’t get many patrons first thing on a Sunday morning, anyway. But even if it had been Saturday, their busiest day of the week, she wouldn’t have bothered. Some things were more important than work and routine. Some things were more important than money. This was one of them, especially since she was pretty sure there’d be nothing left to save once the whole truth came out. And she had a feeling she was about to get the truth. She could tell Landon had worked his way through whatever he’d been feeling; he was finally willing to talk.

  “I never intended to do anything that would hurt our family. I hope you know that,” he said. He’d been watching her with hollow eyes during her conversation with Keith.

  She drew a steadying breath, trying to overcome the jitters that had set in once Landon had come to bed last night—at four in the morning. They’d remained on their own sides of the mattress, staring up at the ceiling without touching or speaking. She’d refused to initiate the conversation. She knew he was the one who needed to do it. That was when he’d mentioned that his ferry had left Fairham before Josephine was dead. That was when something that should’ve been obvious seemed to come to him, to them both, and it came as an afterthought because he couldn’t even imagine being seriously suspected of murder.

  “Was that trip to Fairham really about getting a loan, Landon?”

  She’d asked him before, many times—and he’d claimed it was. Today he said nothing, but he couldn’t meet her eyes. That told the truth. So did the way he was sitting, hunched over and more miserable than she’d ever seen him.

  “Well?” she prompted.

  “How will it help to know the details?” he asked without looking up.

  Closing her eyes, she leaned against the counter so she wouldn’t sink to the floor. The fact that she’d been right all along—that those terrible suspicions were true—cut like a knife. She wished he’d deny it again, wished she could believe him if he did. But she knew it wasn’t possible. That was the very reason she kept asking.

  “So it wasn’t about a loan.”

  “No, it... I can’t even say it.”

  “Why?” That came out as a whisper despite the volume she tried to put behind it. “What’d I do to deserve what you did?”

  He winced as if she’d struck him. “Nothing,” he said. “It had nothing to do with you. You’ve always been everything I could ever want in a wife, in a lover. It was all my fault. I was feeling like a failure, like everything I’d ever done was a big waste. Her...interest somehow made me feel bigger, more important than I was. It was an escape, and I just...got caught up in it. I can’t explain what happened any better than that.”

  Her nails bit into her palms as she clenched her fists. “So you slept with her.”

  He said nothing.

  “God, Landon.” Covering her mouth, she ran to the sink. She was going to throw up. She swallowed hard, trying to stop the bile rising in her throat, but it didn’t work. What little breakfast she’d eaten came back up, soured by the coffee she’d drunk with it.

  As soon as she stopped retching, she rinsed her mouth, closed her eyes and tilted her head back to catch her breath.

  When she faced her husband again, she could see tears streaming down his cheeks and dripping off his chin. “I’m sorry,” he said, meeting her gaze. “I’d do anything to take it back. But I can’t.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” she asked. “Why didn’t you tell me when I first asked you—that day after her Christmas party?”

  “Because it was already too late.”

  “You slept with her that night? While we were staying there for the party?”

  “Yes.”

  The way he answered let her know the truth had been excruciating to admit. “And after that?”

  He stared into his coffee mug. “Never. That was it. One time. But it was enough. I knew you’d never be able to forgive me.”

  “That’s why you didn’t tell me.”

  “I didn’t want to lose you.”

  She felt light-headed, as if she might faint. After running cold water over her hands, she patted her face. “You didn’t care about losing me when it was happening? When I was sleeping in another room in the same house?”

  It took him a few seconds to answer. When he did, he said, “That’s the thing. I was so...caught up that...that my own selfishness was all that mattered. I wasn’t thinking...about anything. I just...wanted to be someone else for a while.”

  “And what was my—” she couldn’t bring herself to say mother “—Josephine’s part in this? Who instigated the...affair?”

  “This is so humiliating.” His words were barely a whisper.

  “I guess that goes with the territory,” she said sadly and rinsed her mouth again. “Who instigated it?”

  “I think you’d be safe to blame both of us.”

  “You’re not going to blame it on her?” After all, Josephine wasn’t around to contradict him.

  “No. She let me know that she had...an interest in me, but I never should’ve responded. Now that whatever spell I was under’s been broken, I can’t believe I ever did.”

  “And that fight you had with her on Fairham the day before she died?”

  “That wasn’t about money. I would never borrow from your mother. That would only have convinced her you were a fool to marry me. I went there to...”

  “To have sex with her again?”

  “No!” He shook his head vigorously. “She’d invited me to come for the weekend. But all I wanted to do was end the whole mess. I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep.”

  She remembered. That was what had told her something was wrong.

  “I went because she was expecting me.”

  “And you paid for it, even though we’re struggling.”

  “Yes, of course. I have some pride left. And I thought it was worth it. I just needed to speak to her, face-to-face, so I could get back on stable ground.”

  “You didn’t touch her...”

  “No, Rocki. I swear it. She...she tried, but I wouldn’t. I suggested we approach you together and explain what happened, apologize. I didn’t think it would be fair if I cleared my conscience on my own. She’d just come back into your life five years ago. I didn’t want to take your mother away from you again. So I was hoping that by some miracle, we could all work through it together.”

  When she gasped, his voice faltered.

  “I know. It was...idealistic of me to think either one of us could save our relationship with you.”

  She didn’t comment, had no idea if she’d be able to continue their marriage. “What’d she say when you told her that?”

  “She wasn’t interested in confessing. She said if I ever told a single soul, she’d tell a very different story—and make it believable enough that you’d never let me within ten feet of you or the kids again. She said she wasn’t going to lose you because I couldn’t keep my dick in my pants.”

  Rocki laughed at the irony of Josephine’s audacity, but her response had more to do with hysterics than humor. “And this was the woman you loved instead of me?”

  He grimaced. “No! God, no. Never. It wasn’t love. It was...lust, I guess. Wanting to feel singled out. Special. I became a victim of my ego
and my sex drive.”

  “So you told her you wouldn’t tell anyone and left Coldiron House.”

  “Yes. I’ve never felt so much hatred or anger in my life. But I hated myself even more than I hated her.”

  She turned to stare out the window, at the lawn he’d planted and mowed regularly. Everyone in Lafitte saw them as the perfect American family... “And that’s where you left it?”

  “She was so vengeful I didn’t feel I had a choice. I was afraid of what she might do—to tear our family apart—if I didn’t. So I decided to forget, to act like it never happened. To try to put it behind me.”

  “And then?”

  He looked up as if he wasn’t sure what she was getting at. “And then she was found dead.”

  Rocki got her keys.

  “Where are you going?” he asked.

  “I don’t know.”

  * * *

  When Keith walked into the flower shop just after noon, Nancy could tell right away that something had changed—and that it wasn’t a positive development. “What’s wrong? Is the autopsy over?”

  “Yes.”

  “What’d they find?”

  “There was no water in Mom’s lungs. She didn’t drown.”

  Nancy put down the greenery she was about to use in an arrangement. “So how did she die?”

  “She was suffocated.”

  “And the pills? Did they play a role?”

  “The toxicology reports will take a few days. But Dr. Pendergast doesn’t believe they’ll reveal any drugs or toxic substances. He thinks someone held a pillow over her face.”

  Suffocation wasn’t a pleasant way to die. That sort of thing took time... “But the fact that it was murder doesn’t really come as a surprise. You guessed as much.”

  “Yes, but I never guessed her murder could be tied to my own family.”

  “None of that’s been confirmed—has it?”

  “It’s not looking good. Chief Underwood received Landon’s phone records from his cell phone carrier this morning.”

  “And?”

  “He and my mom were definitely having an affair.”

  Although she’d been hoping against it, Nancy had expected that. She’d seen that questionable encounter at the Christmas party, which had prepared her. “Give me a sec.” She put up a sign indicating the flower shop would be closed for a few minutes. Then she gestured for him to join her in the back, where they wouldn’t be seen through the windows and could have a little privacy.

  “Want to go into the office, sit down?” she asked when he stopped as soon as they reached her work area.

  “No. I have too much adrenaline going through me to sit down.”

  Nancy cleaned off a spot on her worktable and pulled herself onto the edge. “So Chief Underwood has Landon’s cell phone records, and those records show there were a lot of calls between them?”

  He paced in front of her. “Yes. For a short time there were a lot of calls and texts, which they both deleted.”

  “Underwood could access them in spite of that?”

  “Fortunately—or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it.”

  “What’d they say?”

  “Nothing I’d ever want to read, coming from my mother. The fact that they were sent to my brother-in-law only makes it worse.”

  “Are you going to tell Rocki?”

  Pivoting, he walked back toward her. “You know what scares me the most?” he said in lieu of an answer.

  Sensing that he was about to tell her, she waited.

  “I think she already knows.”

  Nancy frowned. “Why do you think that?”

  “Landon’s cell phone puts him in Charleston at the time Mom was most likely killed.”

  “Which was...?”

  “Around eleven. That’s the latest estimate I’ve been given.”

  “So...that’s good, isn’t it? Landon couldn’t have killed Josephine if he wasn’t here.”

  Wearing a tortured expression, Keith stopped in front of her and rested his forehead against hers.

  She knew she shouldn’t let him get this close, simply because she wanted it so badly. She told herself not to react, but her arms automatically went around him. “What is it?” she whispered.

  He lifted his head to look into her face. “Chief Underwood subpoenaed Rocki’s cell phone records, too.”

  Nancy could tell something unpleasant was coming... “And?”

  “They put her on Fairham Saturday night, after Landon left.”

  “No!” she gasped.

  When he closed his eyes, she knew his mind was a million miles away.

  She slid her hands up to gently cup his face. “Don’t tell me she figured out that Landon wasn’t in Vegas and came here looking for him.”

  “Stands to reason, doesn’t it?” He took her hands. “She’s had plenty of opportunities to tell me she was here that weekend, Nancy. She had to know it would be relevant.”

  “And yet she hasn’t mentioned it.”

  “Not a word.”

  She stared down at their clasped hands. It felt so natural to touch him, to caress him. How was she going to get away from the desire she felt for him?

  She had no idea, but she couldn’t worry about it now. His distress mattered more than anything else. Whatever she could do to comfort him, reassure him... “I’ve met Rocki. She isn’t capable of murder, Keith. It wasn’t her.”

  “Having your mother cheat with your husband could drive any woman to murder. Can you imagine the jealous rage?”

  Nancy couldn’t argue with that. “Still,” she insisted. “Rocki’s not the type. She’s...easygoing, like your dad was. At least, that’s what Maisey’s said about her.”

  “I haven’t told you everything,” he said.

  “There’s more?”

  His troubled eyes focused on hers. “Chief Underwood was holding something back, something she didn’t want to tell me because it didn’t fit with what the coroner was saying.”

  “Which was suicide.”

  “Yes. She even made sure there was nothing about it in the file she gave me.”

  “What is it?”

  “They found a long dark hair in the tub with my mother’s body.”

  “Your mother had long dark hair—”

  “Yeah, at first they assumed it was hers. But it’s a slightly different shade. Now they’re taking a closer look at it, admitting it might belong to someone else.”

  Nancy’s stomach tightened. “Did it come from Rocki, then?” Rocki also had long dark hair.

  “There’s no follicle, so they can’t get any DNA.”

  Maybe that was a good thing. “Does Maisey know?”

  “Not yet. I haven’t been able to make myself call her.”

  “Why didn’t Chief Underwood tell you both?”

  “She’s under no obligation to tell either of us anything. I think she only told me because I’ve been so involved in the investigation.”

  “So what does it all mean?”

  “It means they’ll examine that hair under a microscope and compare it against samples from any and all suspects.” Which now included Rocki.

  “What if it was your older sister?” she asked. “How will you feel? Will you try to save her from prison—or fight to see that she goes away for life?” And what would Maisey do?

  He shook his head. “That’s an impossible question for any brother to answer.”

  21

  KEITH COULDN’T BRING himself to call Rocki. He had the time; he was driving back to Coldiron House from the flower shop. But he couldn’t confront his sister quite yet, and he was just as hesitant to call Maisey. He’d gone to see Nancy instead. She was the easiest person for h
im to talk to because she understood him and the situation in a way none of his newer friends in LA could. They had no idea of the kind of man he once was, or the family he came from. He presented a very different image to them.

  Nancy always offered sound advice, and she could sympathize without being devastated. Maisey, on the other hand, would feel like he did. Shocked. Saddened. Sickened. And angry at their mother for getting involved with Landon in the first place. What had she been thinking? She had so much male attention; she hadn’t needed Landon’s, as well. Rocki wasn’t the type to hurt anyone. Not without a powerful trigger. But Josephine had threatened Rocki’s marriage, and therefore her family’s well-being. So...did that make what might’ve happened all Josephine’s fault? Was there a line beyond which murder became justifiable?

  Keith could understand the rage that must have boiled up when Rocki learned about the affair. He’d felt his own share of rage over the years, his own desire to see the last of their mother. But murder? Even if he sympathized with his sister, the law would not.

  As he drove through the gates and into the garage, he told himself to stop thinking the worst. They’d thought maybe Landon had hurt Josephine, and they’d been wrong. Keith felt a little guilty about those suspicions now that Chief Underwood had confirmed Landon wasn’t even on the island.

  Could they also be wrong about Rocki?

  Sure. The police had no forensic proof that Rocki had killed their mother. The strand of hair found in the tub indicated only that the culprit was someone with long brown hair, but a lot of people had long brown hair—some of them men.

  “She didn’t do it,” he said, as if saying it aloud might ward off the doubt. Then he shut down the engine and called her from inside the car. He didn’t want Pippa to overhear his conversation. He saw no need for this to go around the island, for his sister to be convicted in the minds of Fairham’s residents before there was any actual proof.

  She didn’t pick up. So he texted her. It’s important I talk to you as soon as possible. Please answer.