Storm in a Cup of Coffee

by Keren Or

  It was the first time that Lucas was really seeing her.

  And what he saw... he suddenly liked...

  On reaching the elevator, Eli gave Lucas a kiss on the cheek and, not knowing what to say, declared, “Goodbye, Lucas, I’ll see you back home...”

  “Good night, Eli, sleep well,” he replied, not knowing what to do.

  Acting on an inner impulse, however, he took her in his arms and for a long moment gave her a last, supposedly, friendly hug.

  Eli, naturally, did not object... That hug was her goodbye and the termination of a long fantasy that had come to its end.

  Nevertheless... this last friend hug threw her off completely: what she had felt moments before on the sofa seemed nothing like this... As Lucas breathed in her perfume burying his face in her hair, her neck, her skin... his hands pressed her back with virile determination, absorbing her body, drinking her essence, bringing her closer, making her one with him...

  But Eli did not react to the “new friends embrace.” She did not show her surprise, nor did she share her thoughts. The eternal dreamer was a woman of her word... She had promised not to inhibit him, to give up her attempts. And she was determined to go on, to rise from her fall and not suffer any longer because of him; she was determined to reinvent herself again, learning other steps, to erase him from her memory and never... look back. And to be able to do so, the first thing was simply to disappear, to vanish without leaving a trace and to do the impossible to not see him again... starting by entering the elevator and waiting for the doors to close... once and for all.

  With her eyes swollen and a severe headache, Eli woke up a few short hours later. Many of the others woke up the same way, though obviously not for the same reasons. Therefore, and luckily, they did not attach major importance to her face looking like death; and that... prevented questions, which was a great relief for her.

  Climbing into the vehicle that would take them to the airport, she chose the last seat in the last row, where no one would bother her. She opened the window, resting her head on the edge so the air would allow her to breathe.

  “Is this taken?” asked Fran softly while approaching Eli, sensing that something was wrong, and pointing to the free seat next to her.

  “Yes…”

  “Will you tell me what happened?” Fran stroked her friend’s hair to comfort her.

  “There’s not much to tell, but... I confessed everything to him...”

  “Everything?!”

  “Yes, everything... About the Lena affair... what I felt for him...” At this point Eli had to hold back the tears.

  “And how did he react?”

  “He wants to be my friend,” said Eli, not knowing now whether to cry or laugh.

  “I understand…”

  Lucas did not show up at breakfast, nor did he show up at the air terminal. The last person on the plane was not him. Eli became scared; could he have overslept? Despite feeling great disappointment at not seeing him, Eli thought it was better that way. The further I have him out of my sight, the further he’ll be from my heart, she thought to herself. She only wanted to rest—get home, lay her head on her pillow and gain a little grain of peace...

  Then she tilted back her seat and made herself comfortable, thinking about her plan... Her new plan... First, she would stop visiting Gaby’s office; they would have to get together elsewhere, or Gaby would have to make the effort to walk ten steps to her. From then on, in addition, she would go out to lunch with third parties only if Lucas was not one of them. And finally, her office door would always remain closed so she would not have to see him, hear him, smell his fragrance or feel him go passing by.

  Eli was determined to get Lucas out of her thoughts and start a new life without planning on him. Being a realist, she knew that making that drastic change would be hard and painful. But the most difficult thing was to acknowledge that Lena had been mistaken in her farfetched prediction and that, at the end of the day, no one can really know what destiny has in store for them.

  Eli felt embarrassed by her obsessive attitude, by her naïve confidence in something so crazy and uncertain, by the time she wasted putting together plans and strategies in vain and all the effort put into someone who had never given her even one sign to believe the fairy tale. Closing her eyes, she tried to calm her invasive thoughts... which did not work.

  Reflecting on everything that had happened recently in her life, Eli began to formulate a single question again and again, creating the impression of having a broken record inside... How did I come to such a low point in my life? Perhaps, Eli thought, if I could find the answer... I could change my way of being and, as a result, my destiny...

  Examining the possible causes and factors in the past that could have shaped her present personality led Eli into a long, nostalgic journey in time. Her first stop was that summer’s day... where nothing interesting should have had a reason to happen. It was a hot day, ten years before, that had begun like any other but ended up defining her relationships, shaping her character and changing her life... forever.

  It was the day that Alex crossed her path...

  And heaven decided to...

  Shuffle the cards...

  PART TWO

  6

  Fulfilling a wish

  “Turning fifteen is not as golden as it seems...,” thought Eli as she struggled to fall asleep. In fact, after midnight she could consider herself a year older and start celebrating, but Eli felt... that she did not have any reason or cause to do so. The life of a teenager... was a hard and complicated place to traverse.

  Of the manifestations typical of this stage: emotional imbalance, exaggerated sensitivity, instability and the feeling that nothing is definitive, Eli had them all and many more... The past few years had been like a continuous storm sucking her inwards, in which she was barely able to stay on her feet or remain calm... The time lived away from home, torn from her roots, relatives and best friends could now not be erased. Three years had elapsed since the day they returned, and the consequences of that twist in the plot were still buried in the depths of her soul, in the form of scars.

  The news of going to live in another country at the age of eight was quite a surprise. Being a child, Eli was not involved in the various dilemmas or the pros and cons that led her parents to make that determination. For her it was a definitive and explosive decision that fell on a sunny day over her green garden, leaving her desolate and above all, impotent to deal with the situation.

  For a while Eli tried to refuse, crying, kicking and even begging, trying to cling to her happy childhood, but... it did not help her at all. Her opinion, unfortunately, was not taken into account; and she had no choice but to give up and let the current... carry her along...

  The only thing that cheered her up at first, to ease her futile misfortune, was the promotion obtained by her father, because moving to the other side of the planet involved not only starting a new school and making new friends, but also the naïve hope of having her dad for more time near to her. Not being required to make those long trips that separated him from his family in day-today life, they could make up for the lost years and share more hours being together. That is what Eli thought. However, the bitter reality... did not take long to show itself in all its splendor. Not only that the absence of her father was still present, because the soul of a workaholic cannot change... but also that her mother was disappearing from her sight because of a cultural issue. Eli then came to be raised by a housekeeper, and the lack of attention from her parents increased her sadness and loneliness, as well as the likelihood that she would need extended psychological treatment in the future.

  Even so, in the four years that she lived outside her country... not everything was bad. Eli learned new languages, toured different places, got to know different customs and made good friends. Although she always... dreamed of returning.

  But the
fantasy of resuming her life as she had left it... was not real. As normally happens in the world of nature, every living being changes its form. And so, Eli’s world had also changed. When she returned at the end of her father’s relocation overseas, she found that her group of friends had disintegrated, her best friend had replaced her with another, and her eternal “beloved”, whom she knew from kindergarten, ignored her, even though they had kept in touch during her absence. Each and every one had taken their own path, which led Eli to the only conclusion that her life... was beginning from zero.

  Nonetheless, little by little and thanks to her extroverted and very sociable personality, Eli formed a new group of friends, of which she felt a part and whom she enjoyed. Living a short distance away from each other, they spent time sleeping between houses, playing all day, doing their hair, putting on makeup, jumping rope, creating choreographies and going to the pool, to the beach and even girl scouting. You could say that they were practically inseparable...

  Until, unfortunately... adolescence brought the accompanying conflicts, fights and secrets behind backs, triggering a total breakup. During that period, Eli experienced for the first time what is called “the cold shoulder”, which for her, in essence, meant... being totally ignored by her closest group of friends.

  It was just at the beginning of a long vacation when her so-called best friends erased her completely. The phone stopped ringing, they got together without wanting to invite her, and the times that they passed beside her by pure chance they pretended that she did not exist. No doubt... that was the worst holiday of her life.

  Surprisingly, her older sister, Sofi, with whom she had a tense and distant love-hate relationship, feeling compassion for her pain decided to leave aside the differences and competition that used to govern their bond.

  Like Eli, others fell—even before her—into the same cruel game, as if it were a kind of rotation... However, although it was Eli who on other occasions had managed to make peace among them all, restoring life and harmony to its normal course, this time, none of her six friends were kind enough to do the same for her. Only God knows... how they were able to connect and disconnect so easily and coldly.

  Disappointment shook her, loneliness consumed her and little by little Eli was losing her self-confidence, her honest smile and the hope of being happy again.

  Her fragile self-esteem... ended up on the floor, and was even trampled when, of all the possible strategies in case any of her friends contacted her again, Eli ran to the least complex and the most unwise one: with the first arrogant phone call, instead of hanging up the phone on her former friend, Eli decided to join the same group that, without mercy, had abandoned her.

  But as the fear of being permanently excluded when classes resumed was stronger than any other motive, from one day to the next, “supposedly”... all was forgotten.

  Forgetting is nothing more than an instrument of repression that allows us to go on and regain our strength when in reality what has been lived and suffered through... slowly sinks into the subconscious, until the day of having to process it and, eventually, to be able to forgive.

  But now... she was sinking...

  As life would have it... at the age of fourteen the clan ended up completely shattered. The only one who continued being her friend through the years was Jessi, who, with Valeria and Nicole, two new classmates, created a new, close-knit group.

  And life, once again, seemed to have meaning.

  “Happy birthday, happy birthday to you...”

  “Eli... wake up!....” repeated distant voices, louder and louder.

  Eli could no longer pretend that everything was part of a beautiful dream, and having no other choice, she opened her eyes, sitting, half asleep and half surprised. Beside her bed stood her three best friends: Jessi, holding a beautiful bouquet of flowers; Valeria, making noise with the gift wrapping paper; and Nicole, holding a bunch of giant balloons. On the other side were her parents, Eileen and Samuel, and her sister Sofi, who could not wait to sink her finger into the chocolate cream covering the cake.

  “Blow out the candles before they melt...,” said her mother, as she finished lighting the fifteen candles.

  “And don’t forget to make a wish,” added her father.

  “And don’t forget to include me in it,” added Sofi, as usual thinking about and putting herself in the middle.

  Eli took a deep breath and blew sufficiently enough to silently ask for her wish. “God, make this a good year, different... full of excitement and new experiences... Amen.”

  The celebration lasted half an hour. Eli barely managed to taste a piece of cake before leaving with her father for a day at work, excited and grateful for the big surprise.

  Since she was thirteen, during the summer holidays Eli worked for a whole month at the company that employed her father Samuel. In this way, the company encouraged young workers to become independent and to save. It was not a complicated job, nor did it require much intelligence; it involved sorting piles of paper, arranging them alphabetically in folders, and, from time to time, transcribing a letter. The latter was what Eli liked to do most... She felt grown up, professional and almost as if she was the secretary of an important manager.

  She enjoyed sharing the journey in the mornings with her dad and going out for lunch with him. Busy, as usual, Samuel did not have many opportunities to spend time with his daughter. Therefore... Eli valued the time that he dedicated to her and took advantage of every extraordinary occasion to be with him. Although, in compliance with her father’s strict instructions, during working hours they pretended to not know each other as father and daughter...

  “At work we’re colleagues, not relatives,” he said, greeting her formally.

  In addition, he was keen for Eli to work in another division, to make her feel independent and not expect favours or concessions. Since childhood, he had taught her that things should be done well, in a serious and responsible way, leaving little room to fail or to make a mistake. Of course, at lunchtime, Eli went back to being his younger daughter, and he proudly introduced her to those who came and greeted him.

  Knowing that while she was working all her friends were enjoying the holidays at the beach did not bother her; on the contrary, she liked feeling useful and receiving a check at the end of the month for her own achievements. All in all... it was only for thirty days, and it left her enough time to roast in the sun just like the others.

  Between work and a brief celebration they held for her in the office, the morning of her fifteenth birthday flew by... At four in the afternoon, after finishing her workday, she said goodbye to everyone and hurried off to take her bus. Shortly afterwards, in front of the shopping center located meters from her house, looking at the store windows she noticed that a new store had just opened its doors—a place to rent movies, book sales, games, gifts and more. Without thinking twice, she went in to ask about a monthly subscription plan and more information.

  Since at that time there was barely a television channel or two—years before the appearance of the internet and cell phones... when few programs for her age were being aired and only at specific times—Eli was often forced to look for and invent some entertainment for herself to survive the everlasting vacation. It was still a few years before times would change and the world evolve and become saturated with stimuli, and therefore... the idea of subscribing to any movie package seemed like a magnificent solution to her. It was just the right day to raise it with her parents, using her birthday as a pretext...

  Walking around the store, Eli was examining the variety of movies when she heard a male voice offering to help her. In front of her... stood the most handsome man who has ever existed on the face of the earth. Well, at least... from Eli’s point of view...

  “I said, can I can help you with something?” said the young man with the perfect smile.

  Eli smiled, blushing uncontrollably. Nev
er before did she have a man older than her so close, except for when it was some cousin or her sister’s friend.

  “No... er... I mean, yes...,” stammered Eli, more embarrassed than before. “Could you give me the cost of the different plans, please?” she added at an almost inaudible volume.

  “Of course, I’ll give you a brochure...” replied the divine character, amused by the obvious situation. “If you have any questions, you can contact me at the number on the back. My name is Alex...”

  Putting away the paper, Eli left the store wiping the sweat on her forehead. She was flustered and confused, but most of all hypnotized: she continued daydreaming as she walked. Something about Alex (his penetrating gaze? his seductive smile?) had attracted her in an unusual way. It was not the first time that Eli had noticed someone... She had already fallen in and out of love a couple of times. The first time was at age fourteen: a student a year older than her, whom Eli used to see from afar in the school playground and hallways. Eli appeared everywhere trying to get his attention, and when she did not put romantic songs on the other end of the line, she simply hung up the phone on hearing his sweet voice. But... he never noticed her, and in spite of her efforts... nothing worked. The second one on the list lived three floors above; and although they were the same age and could have been in the same class, they were both studying at different high schools. As children, going to the same kindergarten, they often met in the afternoons and played patient and nurse, which led Eli to suppose... that maybe they could try again. But that one... did not want her either. She seemed to not have much luck with love... Or was her early maturity working against her?

  Eli needed a man...

  A man... like Alex...

  The second time that she went to the store, while choosing films to take home, every so often, without Alex realizing it, she observed him. He was tall, about twenty-two years old and had a very good physique: muscular. He probably played some sport, and certainly... spent many hours on the beach—his beautiful tanned skin and long, shiny blond hair that blended with his natural brown color, gave it away. His green eyes, deep and roguish, as well as his half-grown beard gave him a very attractive and—at the same time—dangerous touch.