by Keren Or
In the worst case, he will tell you “NO”, or “no thank you”.
You will put on a sad face and maybe a little tear will slip from you out there, but the sky will not fall, nor will the earth shake, and you will go on in search of the next prince.
3.Because this step demonstrates your character.
That you are a spontaneous person, modern and likeable, and that you were not last in line when God was handing out courage.
It also shows that you listen to the voice of your heart and conscience more than you listen to the voices of others.
4.Because if you do not grab him right away, another woman faster than you will! What will she do? Take the first step, snatching him from under your very nose, especially if the fellow is clever and also good looking.
5.In short... Why not?
The crucial question is: Why would you, a young woman, take the first step with the young man you like?
The answer to this last but not least important question is simple...
Why not?
Eli was left thinking. The author of the article, probably a feminist, sounded logical to her and... who knows... perhaps it was not so crazy to express herself truthfully to Tomás.
In the encounters that followed that magical night, Tomás continued being the same loving man as usual. Neither more nor less... He said nothing and she did not ask... in order to not pressure him.
Still, Eli’s patience was about to run out...
One of those days, Tomás came with a new proposal: for Eli to be his dance partner in a performance to which he had committed for a charity event. Eli accepted, for the good cause and mainly... for him. They agreed to get together to rehearse in the middle of the week.
Eli was alone at home when Tomás arrived, and that made her relaxed and helped make the nerves not so noticeable. They practiced and sat down to have something to drink... On the radio, songs from the old days were playing and the atmosphere was warm and peaceful. As they commented on the themes they were listening to, an old love song they both loved suddenly started playing. Tomás stood up with determination, turned up the volume and slowly approached Eli. As they stood face to face, he offered her his arm. Eli followed him to the middle of her bedroom, confident and surrendering to any degree of emotion.
Between one spin and the next, Tomás began to kiss her. Suddenly, he lifted her into the air, her legs encircling his waist, and she clung sensually to his body. Without separating his lips from her mouth, he laid her down on the bed and continued moving gently... so gently that they still seemed to be dancing. He held on to her thighs as he kissed her bare neck, respecting her at all times... and not allowing himself to get completely carried away. After all, Tomás was an absolute gentleman.
Eli did not feel pressured and was able to digest in her own time... what Tomás was arousing in her. Her insecurity was keeping her on a slow fire, restraining her and at the same time protecting her from not losing in her own game...
But that same night, when they saw each other again at the dance class, Eli felt uncomfortable, not knowing what to say, how to act or what to expect... Lately special things had happened between them, but at no time did they talk about the subject and they were still only friends in the eyes of others. And unfortunately in Tomás’s eyes as well...
Eli wanted to scream, but learning from the past, for the moment... she decided to remain silent.
The performance at the charity event was a complete success. As a token of gratitude for her kind help, Tomás invited Eli to dinner.
Waiting for a table to be free, he did nothing but thank her... First with words, then with a hug and finally kissing her passionately.
Yet every touch and advance by Tomás was nothing but an illusion to her; and in spite of enjoying them, she silently suffered from not having her feelings reciprocated as she deserved...
Somehow, the story with Alex... was being repeated.
The painful instability was hurting for her, but Eli did not know how to terminate the only thing she had; to let him go... while feeling so much love for him... seemed as an act of madness to her.
Then the forces of the universe took charge of doing the dirty work...
For no reason at all, from one day to the next, Eli began to feel a certain coldness on the part of Tomás... He avoided her constantly, and in the few moments when fate would have it they finally saw each other, she found him distant.
Eli did not understand what had happened.
The mystery was soon cleared up, however, when Tomás decided to confront her and free her from all her concerns.
“Do you have a few minutes, Eli?... We need to talk...,” he said as they left the dance class. “Come, I’ll take you home...”
Eli felt something was about to hit her. Her intuition never failed, and the knot of anguish growing in her stomach confirmed her suspicions. Moreover, Tomás’s resounding silence during the journey and his worried expression left no room for doubt...
“Tell me, please, what’s the matter,” urged Eli in an assertive and sad tone once the car’s engine had been shut off.
“We have to put the brakes on what’s between us...,” said Tomás, filling his lungs with air so he could continue with his announcement.
“What’s between us? What do you mean?”
“Our meetings... you know... The thing is that I met a girl and it doesn’t seem fair to either of you... But anyway, I don’t want to lose you as a friend...”
“It’s okay, Tomás. Don’t continue,” said Eli, dejected.
The knot of anguish spread rapidly, and the last thing she needed was to cry in front of him. My God... I’m losing you..., said a voice inside her head.
“It’s my fault, Eli, forgive me,” he added, distressed. “I shouldn’t have behaved that way... I value you too much, and I find you to be an extraordinary person. I would have loved to fall in love with you, but... I just don’t feel it...”
Please don’t go on..., her inner voice continued.
“The only one who will come out losing will be you, Tomás,” replied Eli, feigning an emotional stability she was far from having.
“I know... and that’s why it’s so hard for me to tell you all this. It’s very likely that I’ll regret having let you go, but I don’t see any other option at this moment...”
“Hold me, Tomás,” asked Eli, taking leave of him. “I would have given you the moon just to stay in your arms like this,” she whispered in his ear.
And without waiting for Tomás to answer her, she left the car, disappearing from his sight and sadly... also from his life.
During the following few weeks, their conversations became increasingly empty and distant. Eli felt that she had lost Tomás forever, even as a friend. He, happy with his new partner, no longer had time for nor interest in Eli.
However, after meeting her rival one day at the dance class, Eli realized that she had no chance... It is true that she was very attractive and drew attention with her blonde hair (too straight), her blue eyes (expressionless), her pink cheeks (yet all the rest pale) and her cute little freckles... But even though she was much prettier than Eli would have wanted to admit, all her attributes were only maintained while the girl remained silent. Upon opening her mouth, few lights lit her up, showing her “full” mental capacity! In short, the poor girl was as dumb as a shoe.
While Eli was trying to solve complicated exercises for her math test, the phone rang, killing the little concentration she still managed to maintain. It was Tomás calling to invite her and Valeria to celebrate his birthday.
Eli was excited, but at the same time she was surprised. What good could come from her being there with him having a new girlfriend?
That mystery, however, was cleared up at the end of their conversation. She heard that the new romance “sadly” had not worked out…
&nb
sp; What a pity…
After making fun of him and his short lasting relationships for a while, Eli promised that the following week she would go to his party even though she did not know anyone. The situation made her uncomfortable, but Vale would be with her... especially knowing that Edi, Tomás’s friend, was also going to be there.
Luckily for Valeria, who did not lose hope of conquering him, Edi was the one who picked them up for the party, which gave her the opportunity to sit next to him, sending Eli to the back seat...
When they arrived, Tomás’s house was already filled with people. While they waited for the majestic birthday boy to honor them with his special presence, mercilessly the guests devoured the delicious cakes and sandwiches. Eli and Valeria, like tourists in a strange country, sat in the living room half-cornered and half-intimidated, but, after talking for a while to each other and to Edi, they gained confidence, socializing with all the others, until the birthday boy arrived, lighting up the atmosphere with his radiant smile and his entertaining personality.
Upon seeing Eli, Tomás greeted her affectionately with a big, long hug and an innocent kiss... of sincere friendship.
Eli, silently, was dying for him...
When the songs known by those who participated in the dance classes began, several of them, including Tomás, began to dance in the middle of the room, while Eli still remained in her seat, a little scared and very embarrassed. It was then that a burst of nostalgia seized her inside, unleashed by the chords of an old romantic melody she had listened to with Tomás as they had practiced at home. That song to whose rhythm they danced, looking at each other... which ended in much more...
Indomitably, Eli’s pulse rate sped up, accelerating her heartbeat and shortening her breathing. She opened her mouth to share her feelings with Valeria, when suddenly... Tomás stood in front of her and took her out to dance.
In a few seconds, the noise quietened and the people who were dancing before disappeared one by one...
Eli and Tomás had been left totally alone dancing to their song, in the midst of everyone... and before everyone’s eyes. Their cheeks brushed; Tomás’s masculine scent fused with Eli’s skin... Multiple eyes around her were still looking at her, and she, shy, hid, clinging to him even more.
“How very embarrassing, Tomás, they’re all watching us...,” she said, burying her forehead in his neck.
“Relax... nobody knows you... it’s only embarrassing for me...,” replied Tomás, resorting to humor.
Being by his side, protected by his embrace and laughing, Eli felt that anything was possible.
At the end of the song, Tomás gave her a kiss on the cheek, and Eli returned to her seat. Then the party went on without further ado.
Although on the night of his birthday he had had such a sweet attitude, Tomás remained distant. Apparently, growing a year older had not helped him much to understand what he did or did not want out of life. He kept coming close to her and then moving away, driving her crazy, boring her and flooding her with excuses, such as “I’ve never had a serious relationship before”, “I just got out of one”, “I’m afraid of failing” or “I’m afraid of hurting you.”
But you’re doing that anyway..., replied Eli silently.
Her quota of patience and humiliation was running out, and the straw that broke the camel’s back took place the day Tomás cordially invited her to see a movie premiere.
Arriving at the box office, they found that the only good seats remaining were for the second show. Neither of the two intended to sit and wait, so each began to toss ideas into the air.
“I feel like going out dancing,” suggested Eli, having energy to spare.
“Dancing… dancing?” replied Tomás.
“Yes, Tomás, dancing is dancing... moving your legs and arms, spinning...,” replied Eli sarcastically, trying to not fall into his game.
Tomás looked at her, his eyes bursting with mischief. Then he came closer to kiss her, but Eli, showing that she also knew how to play... stepped back.
He did not hesitate to come close a second time, but Eli... took another step back.
“How does it feel to be rejected?” asked Eli, now furious, in a disdainful tone.
“I don’t like it at all…”
“Well... that’s how I feel every time you reject me!”
Tomás tried to apologize and justify himself, but the more explanations he gave her, the more irritated with him Eli became.
From one minute to the next, the conversation turned into a fight. Tomás still didn’t know what he wanted from her, and she still loved him, but... enough was enough.
The bond exploded.
From that night on, Eli decided to erase Tomás from her life, or at least... from her heart.
Planning a long weekend with her friends managed to somewhat console Eli.
At some point in her past with Tomás, they had talked about using that time to take a vacation together, but now, amid the storm that threatened to destroy the relationship, that possibility was unlikely.
Eli loved Tomás, but Tomás did not love Eli. Valeria was chasing Edi, but Edi was interested in Nicole. And Nicole... was not interested in nor chasing anyone. As a result... the three friends decided to vacation on their own.
That Friday, Eli was finishing organizing her suitcase, when minutes before her friends would come to pick her up, she heard the intercom ring. Thinking of answering saying that she would come down shortly, she was astonished to suddenly hear Tomás’s voice. He was the last person Eli expected to see. Three weeks had passed since the catastrophic night before the movie, and she wanted to know nothing more about him.
“What are you doing here?” asked Eli as she opened the door.
“I heard you were going on vacation, and I wanted to tell you goodbye,” he said sweetly.
“I’m going away for four days, Tomás, not for four years.”
“Come on, Eli... I didn’t come to fight with you.”
“So... why did you come?”
“I miss our friendship. You matter to me a lot,” continued Tomás, melting the ice little by little.
“Deep down, I know you love me,” said Eli smiling, satisfied with her growing confidence.
“Deep down, in the deepest part of me... I always loved you and I’ll always love you,” Tomás replied, leaving her confused.
At that precise moment, the transportation Eli was waiting for arrived, and she went downstairs accompanied by Tomás.
She said goodbye to him with a hug, without adding any words. And to not prolong the tension of the scene, she closed the door of the trunk and quickly got into the car.
From the back seat, she turned her head to make sure that Tomás was still there... And there he still was... standing, not moving, exactly in the same spot.
Eli did not understand anything...
During her vacation she hesitated a couple of times about whether to call him. She dialed his number from a public phone but always hung up before the call was answered.
Along the road on which she walked, several flowers had lost their petals, seeming to form part of her unbearable indecision.
Let him feel my absence, thought Eli, still wounded. Let him think I’m no longer interested in him... Let my silence hurt him, waiting for my call... Let his conscience weigh him down for having been so stupid and cruel...
Always so dramatic...
But she connected with the waves of the sea, with the peace that surrounded her and with herself.
And although the image of Tomás was constantly present, together with Valeria and Nicole she managed to rest and have fun: they sunbathed on the beach, had lunch snacking in many of the restaurants in front of the hotel, strolled through the different markets and went to different nightclubs. It was her first trip with friends—without adult company—and Eli felt grown-up, i
ndependent... That did her good.
After they had returned home, as she was having lunch lying down on the couch watching a movie, she received a call from Tomás. He suggested meeting her in just a few minutes.
Eli, according to whose view of the world every unusual behavior had a raison d’être, was surprised by such urgency... What could be so important that could not wait a few hours and be conveyed at the dance class that evening?
Even so, Tomás’s initiative deserved to be rewarded...
The mysterious visit lasted less than an hour. Tomás was in a hurry and on his way to a family event, but anyway... he wanted to see her.
At first they talked about trivial matters, about Eli’s vacation and a little about everything. And then... the kisses, the caresses and the hugs began... Eli could no longer hold up her shield, and weakly she let the wall fall... and Tomás knew exactly which buttons to press.
Later, at the dance class, they met again. Tomás looked at her differently, as if he were observing her, firing romantic declarations out of nowhere and out of context... He told her that she had become the center of his life, that at her side he was happy...
However, traumatized by her past, Eli remained distant and cautious with him.
The next day, Tomás called her first thing in the morning. He had something important to tell her, and, curiously... he preferred to do it personally that night facing the sea...
While they allowed the soft foam of the waves on the shore to caress their bare feet, Tomás tried to speak, but his words did not come out... They then remained silent, looking into each other’s eyes as if competing... waiting to see who would be first to fall… And in the end they laughed so much at the ridiculous situation that it was hard for them to get serious again, even when Eli heard what she had longed to hear for such a long time:
“I love you, Eli...”
Tomás repeated this phrase, holding her gaze when Eli kept silent. She had waited four months, twenty-three days and nine hours to hear those three words... Then, still unsure of her fate, she reacted.