by Keren Or
Feeling that they were losing their only son because of her, they began a psychological war... Every time the young couple made a decision to buy or do something in particular, they would intervene, convincing him to do otherwise and always managing to spoil what Eli and Sebastián had built together.
Eli felt powerless. For a long time she tried to save and help Sebastián to be stronger and more demanding, and to learn to use his own voice. In the process… she handed him her soul, her life and her everything. But twenty-seven years of captivity was too much time, and Eli found herself always on the losing side.
There were moments when Eli wanted to escape. If she could not save him, at least she should save herself. However, the great love she felt for Sebastián and the dream of creating a family being so close... boycotted her plans.
Eli ended up preferring to close her eyes rather than see how destructive and harmful their relationship had become. The fear of losing it all again deactivated her ability to evaluate the consequences.
And life... was coming fast and furious...
“Hi, Eli! How are you?” asked Ema at the other end of the line, in a strange tone.
“Okay... and you? What’s wrong?” answered Eli, knowing her very well. “Problems with Julián?”
“No. Not with Julián,” continued Ema, abrupt and distant.
“With whom, then? Or do I have to squeeze out the information?”
“I’m tired of Sebastián! I don’t want him near me any longer... He’s evil, inhuman and when you want to see me... you’ll have to do so alone.” Ema, without prior warning, dropped the huge bomb.
“But what happened? What did he do that was so serious to make you become like this?” asked Eli, shaken by the unexpected and illogical reaction.
“I simply got tired. I got fed up with him always trying to separate me from Julián, sowing conflicts... as if it makes him happy to see us having problems. He always humiliates and puts him down and... simply... his presence in my life is harming me. I want him as far away from me as possible!”
“I don’t understand anything, Emma! And I don’t understand how you dare to tell me like this on the phone, knowing how much I love him. I’m going to marry him!”
“Well... do what you want with your life.” Ema maintained her immovable posture. “But... don’t mention his name to me anymore!”
“That means you won’t come to my wedding, when it happens?”
“Exactly. I won’t come!”
“Then... you will not be losing only one person, but two!” answered Eli indignantly, and without thinking about her actions, she hung up the phone.
From that day on, Eli knew nothing more about Ema. As a result, Sebastián knew nothing more about Julián. It was the same as a couple separating or as going through mourning.
Eli slept badly at night, dreamed of Ema, and during the day missed her and suffered because of her absence. At those times, it seemed that pride was more important or stronger than a great friendship. Moreover, with each working on her thesis, they no longer saw each other as they did before at the university, so Eli had to assimilate her new life without Ema.
Blinded by love, Eli saw in front of her only her goal to get married, to have the child she wanted so much and never feel that loneliness again, hiding in a corner... always waiting for her.
Sadly... she did not realize that Sebastián was relating to her in the same way that his parents used to relate to him. Or that he was doing to her… the same thing he always did to Julián: he kept humiliating her, constantly putting her down and stripping her of all her talents, passions and self-assurance. In that way... he would eventually take control, raising his own self-esteem in the process. Unfortunately... at Eli’s expense...
If they went out dancing, he would look at her in embarrassment, ordering her to not dance this or that way... and so Eli stopped dancing.
When she played one of her songs, singing with the guitar, he would tell her she was out of tune... And so Eli stopped singing.
Slowly... Sebastián was annihilating her as a person, making her dependent on him. And Eli... kept on loving him...
After ten months of an intense relationship, following a horrendous fight, related of course to Sebastián’s parents, Eli wanted to put an end to everything, or at least... give Sebastián a good scare so he would come to his senses and set limits on his family, who clearly had none.
Sebastián, in fact, got scared, and to make Eli forget the bad moment and her ideas, he took her on vacation for the weekend.
Being alone again, far from the world, the routine and the famous parents, caused Eli to lower the defenses that had been protecting her lately. Sebastián, who was hoping for just that to happen... took advantage of the moment... And floating on a raft in the middle of the sea, with the sun setting in the background, he knelt in front of her and, filled with emotion, asked her to be his wife.
Eli wanted to get married to Sebastián more than anything in the world. In her clouded eyes... Sebastián was not bad, but weak. Of course... she had never looked at herself in the mirror to realize that weakness had also taken hold of her... And so naturally she accepted, becoming the happiest being in the universe.
Back from their vacation, Eli and Sebastián got together with both families to announce the wonderful news. A reasonable reaction would have been to get up and embrace them, cheerful and smiling, as, for example, did... Eli’s parents. Of course... they were not aware of everything happening in the life of their daughter, who was no longer living with them, nor involving them in order to not make them worry. And to be honest... so as not to have to confront them in case they opposed her relationship. In short, Samuel and Eileen always considered Sebastián part of the family.
The reaction of Sebastián’s parents was a very different scenario, as they were surprised at not having been consulted first and for not having been part of the crucial decision, remaining in their places... with funeral faces.
What a surprise!
From then on... everything happened very quickly. The search for an events hall, the caterer, the DJ, the dress, the flowers, the invitations... and Sebastián’s parents appearing to have calmed down and loosened up a little.
Without a doubt, Eli was living her dream of a lifetime.
Of course, at that time, the dream seemed good, but unfortunately... it was not...
With two weeks left to determine the rest of their lives, after another fight over the same old thing, Eli left for work nervous and in a bad mood. Not only did she have her wedding coming up and an indecisive fiancé, but also waiting for her was a seminar that would last the whole day, for which she would be have primary responsibility. A day to which it would have been better… for her not to wake up...
At lunch time, in the few minutes she had to take a break, Sebastián suddenly called her. And Eli answered...
A serious mistake...
“Hello, Eli,” said the man in a sharp tone. The very same man who, in two more weeks, would be her husband.
“Hello. How are you?” replied Eli meekly, thinking that the distant tone of voice had to do with the argument in the morning.
“I’m informing you that you can take your things and go back home, because I don’t intend to ever return to the apartment,” declared a new personality, which Eli did not recognize.
“What are you talking about, Sebastián? What are you telling me?” replied Eli, dizzy.
“Just what you heard. This is over!”
“I don’t understand” she moved away from the crowd. “What’s the reason for all this?” she said, with tears bursting from her eyes. “Don’t do this to me! Please! I love you!” she begged him.
“I can’t go on talking, I have to go,” said Sebastián before hanging up abruptly.
Eli remained frozen...
Dennis, coming for her to ret
urn to the meeting room, found her in a deranged state. She was on the floor. Frightened, he lifted her up, bringing her a chair and ran immediately for a glass of water. Meanwhile... Eli managed to call her parents and Sofi, crying as she told them about the misfortune that had just fallen upon her.
Unfortunately... she could not afford to collapse, and, not having any other option, she dried her last tears, touched up her make-up, fixed her hair, and returned to her responsibilities, as required.
At the end of the day, after insistently trying to contact Sebastián and getting his answering machine over and over again, she arrived devastated at her parents’ house. There she found out that they had been able to talk briefly with him, but could do absolutely nothing.
At nine o’clock at night, Sebastián finally called.
Eli thought that by this time her fugitive future husband would probably have come to his senses... and that logically he was calling to apologize to her, as he always did, begging her to come home and waking her up from the nightmare.
But that did not happen. He was calling her only to tell her that he needed to distance himself and reflect, and that in a few more days he would contact her again.
Someone... please pinch me!
Three consecutive days in bed and Eli still could not get up, eat or stop crying. But at least... Sebastián resurrected and asked to meet with her.
Eli agreed, with resignation. His voice did not leave much to fantasize about, so the only thing left was for her to prepare herself emotionally for the day of execution, when she would face... the worst.
“No matter what happens, Eli, don’t cry in front of him!” advised Samuel, trying to strengthen his small, fragile little girl. “Remain dignified all the time, and respectable, like you really are... and not like the person he turned you into, or that he himself changed into. Be strong and look him in the eye when you speak to him. And when it’s all over, come back home, without looking back. We, Mom and I, will be waiting for you here to support you.”
Eli went to the park in front of her parents’ apartment building looking beautiful, strong and full of vitality, opposite of what her tormented appearance had been minutes before or the agony in which her soul found itself. Heeding her dad, she had dressed, combed her hair and applied makeup highlighting her best features, as in former times. At least..., thought Eli, I’ll remain in his memory forever like this...
Minutes later, Sebastián arrived. He did not have to say a word, his crazed look said it all.
“I think... we shouldn’t be together...,” Sebastián started with, subdued and not very sure of himself.
“Do you think so... or do your parents, Sebastián? Who really thinks so?”
“I do…”
“Look me in the eye when you speak to me!”
“I do!” he repeated, with a troubled look in his eyes.
“How nice! Because I think the same! I don’t know you, Sebastián, you’ve even managed to scare me.”
“I’ll call you to settle the final details. We still have to cancel all the wedding arrangements and vacate the apartment,” he added, as if he were reciting a well-learned phrase.
And knowing him... not one of his words would have occurred to him, but certainly to many of his relatives.
“I have nothing more to say to you, so... for anything, you call my dad,” said Eli in an even, assertive tone that did not convey any feeling.
“Are we children that we can’t do things between us?” asked the scoundrel from his puppet podium, actually afraid of facing his former future father-in-law.
“Yes! And your own actions showed me that very, very well! Goodbye, Sebastián. What a pity it had to end this way...,” ended Eli, turning her back on him. And without turning her head, she kept walking until she reached her house.
After closing the door, far from Sebastián’s eyes... Eli held back no more. A cry of deep pain ripped her whole chest to pieces. She was disconsolate.
Half an hour later, Sebastián called. For a fraction of a second, Eli felt the tiniest ray of hope that he might have repented. Would she have forgiven him?
But he asked to speak with Eli’s dad to coordinate, one day in the middle of the week, to settle the bills and clear out the department.
Sebastián’s request to wait a few days for things to be done calmly rather than running around willy-nilly seemed harmless to Samuel, and so... he said yes, agreeing to speak again early in the following week.
However, Eli’s intuition, which never failed, predicted that there was a cat in the bag. And without thinking about it for another minute, she left with her parents to recover at least her material share of that broken union.
On arriving at their apartment building, her suspicions were confirmed as she realized that Sebastián was right in the middle of moving. A sharp knife mercilessly slashed Eli’s stomach, and worst of all was not that Sebastián had lied to her dad, asking for time to calm down, but that in addition... he had taken personal items that did not necessarily belong to him.
Along with her mother and ignoring Sebastián, Eli went up to the apartment while Samuel remained outside to confront him, watch him and settle the bills once and for all.
Sebastián was alone and frightened. The sudden change of plans had caught him unprepared and unarmed. His parents, who used to handle everything by remote control, were not there to give him new instructions, and without these, Sebastián did not even know what his name was.
“Doesn’t that happen to be Eli’s TV?” asked Samuel, “Because if I remember correctly, I myself bought it for her.”
“Yes... I made a mistake... sorry...,” replied Sebastián, stuttering as he took the set out of his vehicle.
Samuel, who had no intention of lowering himself to the detestable level to which Sebastián had sunken, got straight to the point:
“This is the list Eli gave me. All the items you acquired together are recorded. Take a look and tell me if anything is missing, or if there is any error.”
“Everything is okay...,” replied Sebastián, looking down and wanting to desert in the middle of the battle.
“Perfect. Then I imagine you will not need the heater or the blender. Those... Eli will take. And as Eli has no use for the toolbox nor does she care about the coffee maker, you can take those.”
One by one, Samuel went crossing off and dividing the property recorded on his list, making sure that his daughter would not come out more wronged than she already was.
And Sebastián vanished as soon as he could... fleeing in defeat, with his tail between his legs.
At the same time, three floors above, Sofi arrived to lend a hand, along with her husband and daughter, who was sleeping soundly in her pram, unaware of the storm around her.
“He even took the CD he gave me for my birthday...,” said Eli, her hopes dashed.
Then she sat on the couch they had bought just a month earlier, watching how her life and all the shared moments were crumbling around her.
And when night came, the darkness turned off the light, taking with it... dreams built, commitments forgotten and a bubble that simply... burst...
A bubble of illusions…
13
Under her skin
With great regret, after being thrown emotionally against the rocks, Eli resigned her coveted job. Attempts to persuade her to change her mind did not work, and not even her father, whom Eli admired so much, was able to stop what, from his point of view, was the “worst decision of her life.”
Eli needed to distance herself from everything and everyone; make a radical change in several areas of her life, beginning with lowering her demands on herself. Like an animal, seeking to die alone without anyone seeing it and without anyone assisting or feeling it suffer, Eli was looking for her protected square meter. For that reason... closing the door of her office for the last time, she wen
t directly... to a travel agency.
Her friend Mía, who had worked with her at the law firm, was now working as a flight attendant and made the generous proposal to invite her for a week to stay for free in her hotel room abroad.
Having to pay only for the ticket and of course... with all the shopping she planned to do, Eli thought it was an excellent idea... and an opportunity to finally escape...
“Your breakfast, madam. What would you like to have, tea or coffee?” asked Mía smiling, waking Eli.
“Tea, please...,” Eli smiled. “How long before we get there?” she asked her friend, who, with her straightened hair and professionally made-up face, looked dressed to perfection.
“Some forty-five minutes approximately. Cover up well when you go out, because it will be five degrees outside. I’ll wait for you after you go through immigration.”
It was eight o’clock in the morning local time. Raising her window shade a few minutes before landing, Eli was dazzled at the sight of the whole city covered with snow. It was the end of the year again, and scarcely two months had passed since the unmentionable separation.
Welcome to five degrees..., thought Eli as she felt an icy current running through her bones, and, adding one more item to her long list of purchases, she said to herself quietly, “It seems that I’ll have to buy myself a new and better coat.”
In the shuttle on the way to the hotel, Eli admired, through her misty window, the little lights and red ribbons decorating the trees. Seeing the sidewalks hidden by a thick layer of snow, it was impossible not to think creatively of a dramatic analogy (worthy of only a dramatic person like Eli): that her soul was also hidden by a thick, cold layer called... sadness. She would have been able to enjoy that image had it not been for the knot of tears that was about to burst. But the knot... was quite persistent...