by Keren Or
They had only a few days of paradise left... During the morning they toured historical sites, admiring the wonderful architecture that transported them back directly to the Middle Ages, as well as locations where they found traces of different cultural influences. In addition, thanks to a fascinating and entertaining excursion, they managed to reach corners they would never have visited touring on their own. Every midday that they had available, they returned to the abandoned village to the kiosk of the toothless old lady, to enjoy once more... her extraordinary pasta with loads of tomato sauce. In the afternoons they would relax at the pool and had ping-pong competitions, which always left Eli frustrated, except when Lucas took pity on her, allowing her to win. Then they would escape to the beach to have a refreshing cocktail under the shade of a palm tree, or as in Eli’s case... the juice of freshly squeezed orange and bananas. After waiting forever until Eli was able to immerse her fragile body in the icy water, they also competed to see which of the two could stay afloat longer. In this area, fortunately... Eli would win.
At each available moment they continued reading, and from time to time they treated themselves to a relaxing massage offered by a young mobile masseuse. Finally, in the evenings they would return to the city to try some new restaurant, and on the way... buy yet another gift for Andy. Tired but happy, when they got back to the hotel they would throw themselves on the bed to watch television or to play cards, and if they were lucky and with a little patience... they also made love.
And of love... there was plenty...
One more page in her diary... was turned...
Now that she had a husband... Eli was anxious to have a child. Her own creation belonging to her and Lucas. If, for most of her existence, she had looked at life from a pessimistic side, or in her words... a realistic side... this time it was the complete opposite. Eli, for the first time... was optimistic: she did not have the slightest doubt that she would quickly and without much effort become pregnant.
As she understood it, to bring a child into the world, the only thing needed was to make love and immediately the stork would come, based on what she knew and what there was around her, as well as the fact... that there was no reason for either of them to have problems. On second thought... maybe her way of looking at life was not so crazy... She, like Lucas, was a young and healthy person. She did not smoke, she did not drink alcohol, she wanted to be a mother with all her soul and she believed she deserved it. Moreover, Lucas had already fathered a son... therefore, why should he not be able to do so now?
At the end of each menstrual cycle, new hopes were born and raised in Eli, only to crumble at the beginning of the next cycle.... Lucas seemed to not understand the complex situation in which she found herself, or perhaps because of his unconditional faith, he was confident that it was only a matter of time and that at the end of the day... everything would turn out right.
Unlike him, Eli felt that the disappointment was not the same for both of them, since Lucas was already a father, but also because at some point he had said... that one son was enough. In addition, the burden of having to raise, care for and love a child that his own mother never wanted seemed to Eli to be a cruel injustice on God’s part. What is the logic in giving a child to a woman who never wanted to be and will not be mother... and denying it to another, who always dreamed and prayed for one?
The contrast hurt Eli to the bone.
Meanwhile, her friends were getting married and, like she and Lucas, were looking to grow their family unit. As time passed, each emotional announcement she heard of that achievement tore her up inside, breaking her heart to pieces. Eli would try to not be selfish and to share the joy of the others, struggling with feeling happy for the luck of some who, at the first try, had achieved what she and Lucas, after six months, still were not finding.
However, at night, when the world was calm and everyone was sleeping peacefully, Eli would toss and turn with sadness, disconsolate... about her abandonment by God. The storms kept raining down on her and Eli kept wondering if the suffering would ever end...
Weary of feeling alone and faced once again with a battle, she decided to turn to the one person who, at some point in the not too distant past, had given her answers about what would lie ahead in this line called life.
“How nice to see you both here again...,” said Lena as the three of them sat around the table. “How has life treated you? Have you been able to handle the difficulties more calmly? What brings you here today?”
With so many questions and with knots in their throats, neither of them opened their mouth. They just looked at each other... then at Lena, seeking from her the answers to all the questions.
“Allow me...,” said the psychic, reaching out to take the cup of coffee that Eli, as a good student, had already drunken.
“I’m interested in knowing only one thing...,” Eli said finally, drawing Lena’s attention to what was really worrying her: “When will I be a mother? My life has no meaning if I am not... Why doesn’t God hear my pleas? Why did he abandon me?”
Lena, aware of how sensitive Eli was and the delicacy of the situation, began “reading” the multiple lines formed by the coffee, as a reinforcement to what she could already perceive on her own. And after a short but cold silence, she raised her eyes, which penetrated Eli’s, and took her hand.
Without further ado, Lena said, “Dear Eli, God puts us to the test many times, but never through one that we will not be able to cope with... You must be strong, Eli..., patient and... be vigilant... And allow nothing in the world to break your spirit...
Despite the storms…”