by Sonya Clark
Toby stuck his tongue out and waved the bottom flap of his white busboy’s apron at her.
Wade grinned. “You see, Rocky Top’s favorite bartender is taking the weekend off because tomorrow-”
“Oh no!” Ronisha waved emphatically for him to stop. “Don’t you dare!”
Wade stepped back from the microphone and settled his guitar into its stand. With a sly grin he returned to the mic and said, “Tomorrow is Ronisha’s birthday.”
Cheers and applause and a few rowdy calls of happy birthday came from the crowd. Ronisha buried her face in her hands and ducked under the bar.
“We wanted to do a little something special for you, Ronisha,” Wade said. “So don’t be hiding over there.” He gestured at Josh, who carried an empty chair and placed it in front of the stage. “Come on, Ronisha. We put this together for you so come watch.”
Daisy had an instrumental karaoke CD already cued up on the little stereo now plugged into the bar’s sound system. She held her finger over the play button and waited.
“Y’all don’t have to sing happy birthday to me in front of all these people.” Ronisha came out from behind the bar and settled into the chair. “Wade’s the only one of y’all that can sing anyway.” She was grinning ear to ear, both embarrassed and delighted at the attention.
“We’re not up here to sing happy birthday,” Wade said. He winked at the bartender. To the crowd, he said, “Y’all feel free to help us out if you know this song. It’s one of Ronisha’s favorites.” He turned to Daisy and nodded. She grinned and hit the button.
Wade surged back to the mic as the music poured out of the speakers. “Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah.”
Ronisha recognized her favorite song by her favorite artist immediately - Locked Out of Heaven by Bruno Mars. She screamed and bounced in the chair, nearly falling out. The bar’s staff danced and sang behind Wade, but he owned the stage every bit as much as he did when he sang his more familiar country music. Daisy could barely keep up, she was so busy watching Wade. He’d been decent during their brief rehearsal but now, in front of an audience, he threw himself into performing the different genre with a fervor that surprised her. He danced and jumped and swiveled his hips with a joyful abandon that was mesmerizing to witness. Though he had a deeper voice than the original artist, he still made the song work for him.
And good God, it worked for Ronisha. The bartender was clearly thrilled. Her face glowed with pleasure as she sang along. Daisy looked from Ronisha to Wade and saw that he was very aware of her reaction. He performed for the whole audience, but mostly for her. He’d talked about how focusing on one person in the audience helped him get over his stage fright. Having that one person be so wildly appreciative seemed to energize him as well, giving fuel to his voice as he powered through the song.
Half the bar was on their feet by the time Wade brought the song to a close, singing along, pogoing up and down, taking video on their cell phones. At the last note Ronisha exploded out of her seat and rushed the stage, pulling Wade into an exuberant hug. “Cowboy, that was amazing.”
Wade kissed her cheek. “Happy birthday, darlin’.”
Daisy made her way to the edge of the stage, smiling ear to ear. A hand caught hers and she turned to see Wade wink at her. She winked back, not sure what this was that made her feel light and free and perfectly at home in her own skin. For now she would just call it happiness.
Chapter 29
Daisy peered into the Hollister living room to check on Megan’s father. “He’s watching TV. Are you sure it’s okay for me to be here?”
Megan sat at the kitchen table folding laundry. “You’ve been coming here since you were fourteen. Why would now be any different?”
Daisy took a seat at the table. “I just don’t want to upset him or agitate him or anything.”
“He’s okay today. The doctor gave him some anti-anxiety medicine and that helps with the agitation.”
“What about anti-depressants?”
Megan shook her head. “He doesn’t want that yet. I swear, he’s going all hippie on me. Wants me to look up alternative treatments and therapies. Says he doesn’t want to turn into a pill bottle.” Her hands shook as she rushed through a stack of dish towels. “So I’m trying to see what kind of research is out there.”
“Is there anything I can do?” Daisy stood and put a basket of bath towels in the chair she’d vacated and began to fold them.
“One thing, but you’re not going to like it.”
“You know I’ll do anything to help y’all.”
“This isn’t about helping me.” Megan put the last dish towel on the stack and placed her hands flat on the table, as if she had to force herself to be still. She looked up at Daisy. “Your mother is a bitch.”
Daisy snorted. “No argument there.”
“But she’s the only mother you’ve got.”
“Oh, shit, Meggie.” Best friend or no, she had no business trying to guilt Daisy into anything where Alice was concerned.
“I’m not saying y’all have to be best friends. I know better. But you need to make some kind of peace with each other. Something could happen, at any time. I know she’s fine now but I really doubt that’ll always be the case. She spent too many years drunk or on pills or both.”
“Don’t forget her meth years. God knows I can’t.” Daisy slammed a sloppily folded towel onto the table.
“I don’t want you to have regrets. That’s all I’m saying.”
Regrets. God, how could she not where her mother was concerned? But the regrets she would have were things she couldn’t change. She couldn’t pick a different mother, couldn’t make Alice understand or respect her decision about the adoption. Couldn’t keep her from falling into a bottle every year on the little girl’s birthday. That wasn’t Daisy’s responsibility. “I’ve tried for years. I’ve tried talking to her. I’ve tried keeping my mouth shut. Staying away, being the dutiful daughter. Nothing pleases her. Not when it comes to me. I’m tired of it.”
“I know,” Megan said. “I get that I’m wishing for something that probably isn’t possible.”
“Probably?” Daisy choked out a grim laugh. “Even if I wanted things to be better, she doesn’t. Not every mess gets cleaned up. We’re not some Very Special Episode where we make up and hug at the end. She was never what I needed and I can’t go back and change the one thing that would make her accept me. I don’t like it but I don’t think there’s anywhere to go from there.” Hated it, in fact. It ate at her more than she liked to let on, even with Megan. But there was more that she was willing to share. “I’ve watched her swing from one extreme to the other. From substance abuse to clean, church-going to hypocrite. Chasing men to avoiding them altogether. Unemployed because she was fucked up all the time to working overtime while she’s clean. It’s like no part of her life is ever steady. She can’t find a middle ground for anything.”
Giving up on the towels, Daisy moved the basket and reclaimed her seat. “And the middle ground is what I want. I work in a bar and it doesn’t bother me. Course, it helps that it’s a nice place and not some scuzzy biker bar. But Alice can’t even be in a nice place that serves alcohol. And, okay, I guess she can’t help that. But she wants to judge me just for working there. She won’t even admit it to me when she falls off the wagon, but she wants to judge me for waiting tables in a bar. That doesn’t make sense to me.”
Megan folded her arms on the table then rested her chin on her crossed wrists. “I don’t get it, either. The only thing I’ve ever been able to figure about her is that she looks at you and sees all of her failures as a mother. As a person. Donny and Dee give her a pass but you never could. And I’m not saying you should. I just wish the two of you could find some peace.”
Daisy said, “Alice will never forgive me for the adoption. That’s all there is to it.” Her stomach tightened at thought of her mother’s warning about Wade. “Look, I get where this is coming from.” She gestured toward the door to the living room
where Mr. Hollister sat watching television. “I know eventually Deanna will wear us both down and I’ll go to Sunday lunch again. Or one of the kid’s birthday parties. Something will come up and we’ll both be there, and we’ll both pretend like nothing happened. I think that’s the closest we can get to peace.”
Megan nodded and started to speak.
Daisy leaned forward and said in a rush, “But I really, really need to talk to you about something. If it’s not a good time I’ll understand, but I really need to talk to you.”
“Is it about Wade?” Megan raised her head, a hopeful look on her face. “Please tell me it’s about Wade.”
“It’s about Wade.”
“Please tell me you finally had sex with him. God, you have no idea how badly I need some distracting good news.”
Daisy grinned. “I had sex with him.”
Megan squealed. “Oooh. Was it, like, R-rated movie sex?” She wagged her eyebrows. “Or was it the kind of sex like in books we can’t get at the library?”
Daisy leaned back, took a deep breath as she spread her hands across the table. She whispered, “Bookstore sex, baby.”
Megan pumped one arm in the air. “Yes! You little slut.” She stuck her tongue out. “I’m so proud of you. No wonder you’re glowing.”
“I feel like I’m glowing. Like I’m wearing a big sign that says, I just had hot dirty sex.”
“Aaw. You should have that printed on a t-shirt.”
Daisy giggled. “He’d like that.”
“Y’all could wear matching t-shirts.”
“There’s just one little problem.”
“Mmm.” Megan nodded. “You’re head over heels in love with him.”
“No.” Even Daisy thought she said a little too quickly. Judging from the look on her face, Megan agreed. “No, but I do like him and that’s fine. Liking each other is fine.”
“Are you worried about him going back on the road or back to Nashville at the end of the summer?”
“He says he doesn’t want to tour again but I don’t know. He’s writing new songs and they’re really good. His manager hears them, I wouldn’t be surprised if he winds up with a new record deal. And that would mean touring, definitely.” She slumped forward. “No matter what he says, I can’t see him walking away from another record deal. He’s too good. Music is in his blood, it’s who he is. I could never ask him to walk away from that.”
“Oh my God, you’re even more in love than I thought.”
This time Daisy didn’t bother to deny it. “Do you know Empty Rooms? The song he won a bunch of awards for years ago?”
“Yeah, Daddy’s still got the album. He’s got all of Wade’s albums. Why?”
“So you know what the song’s about?”
Megan was quiet for a long moment. “Yes. Did someone say something to you?”
Daisy shut her eyes. “Alice said if he finds out I threw away a child that he won’t want anything to do with me.”
Megan fumed. “Threw her away? You gave her to a loving family who could give her a good life. Adoption isn’t throwing away a child! God damn it. You know what? Forget everything I said about making peace with that woman. Fuck her.”
Something lurched in Daisy’s chest and tears slid down her face. Megan took her hand and held it tight. “It was a gift! You gave those people a precious gift. And you gave her a gift, too. Don’t ever let Alice or anyone else let you think otherwise. That includes Wade.”
Daisy wiped away the tears as best she could. “I don’t know if I should tell him. I don’t know if we’re serious enough to talk about stuff like that. But if it gets serious and then I tell him later, what if he does think like she does? What if he hates me?”
“He won’t hate you. He won’t. He’s not like that and you know it. God, I feel like such an idiot for talking to you about your mother the way I did. She has really fucked you up over this.”
“I know I did the right thing. The best thing I could for her.” She didn’t need to tell Megan she meant her daughter, not her mother. “I could live with everyone else’s judgment if I had to, but I don’t think I could take it if Wade looked at me the way Alice does.”
“That’s not going to happen.” Megan did her best to sound sure, but Daisy could hear just enough doubt in her friend’s voice to keep her worried. “If things gets serious with y’all, then, yeah, I guess you should tell him at some point. If it were me, I would. It’s too early right now, though. See how it goes. See what he does at the end of the summer.”
“I’ve thought about that,” Daisy said. “Waiting to see if he wants to call it quits at the end of the summer or what.”
“Okay, then. Go from there and see what happens. But don’t let him be the only one to decide. If you want something serious with him, tell him. If you don’t, tell him that, too.”
That kind of honesty had never existed in any of Daisy’s other relationships. Maybe it was time to be more up front about what she wanted. Wade could accept that when it came to sex. Maybe he could when it came to other things, as well. “I’m sorry to dump all this on you when you’ve got so much going on.”
“Are you kidding? Helping me focus on something else, even if it’s just for a few minutes, is just what I need right now. I mean it. Talk to me about your sexy boyfriend any time.”
Daisy composed her features into the best expression of innocence she could manage. “Should I also talk to you about my sexy boyfriend’s brother?”
Megan gave her a withering look. “Would that be the one on the other side of an ocean or the one who follows me around like a puppy but won’t make a move?”
Ouch. Poor Chris, he had his work cut out for him.
Chapter 30
By the middle of the next week, Wade had half a dozen new songs finished. Not in progress, but finished. He’d yet to play the songs for anyone but Daisy, but he was thinking about debuting them at Rocky Top over the weekend. The crowds there had been receptive to him playing more than just country, so they might not care that these new songs were a little mushy, genre-wise. Truth be told, he wasn’t sure what these new songs were. A couple of them had a definite pop flavor. Most were second, maybe third cousin to country. Did that make them Americana? He wasn’t sure. If he wasn’t with Daisy or at Rocky Top, he’d spent his time either writing new music or listening to new music. Music that was new to him, at least. Wade wanted to know what was out there, and where he might fit now. Even before he started writing again, he’d had his doubts about finding a place on country radio these days. He felt no kinship for the non-stop party anthems and drinking songs that so many male country singers were putting out. Bro-dude country was not for him. The more he learned about Americana, the more he thought that was a better fit. It was an eclectic mix of the kind of adult songwriting that used to be a hallmark of country, and new and experimental sounds and textures.
More and more, he found himself sliding into Spanish rhythms and textures when he sat down to play. Sometimes a little flamenco, mostly what he thought of as the sound of the wide open desert at night. That’s what he was playing when Daisy arrived, a looping, curving riff with no beginning and no end.
She tucked herself into a corner of the sofa, bare feet under her and her arms around her knees, just watching him play. He let the melody wander around for a bit before bringing it in and ending with an abrupt flourish. “That was beautiful,” she said. “What was that?”
“It’s not really a song, just something I like to play.” He carried the Hummingbird to its stand and packed up his notebook and pens. “I liked playing out west, out in the desert and up in the Badlands, that part of the country. It’s like another world there at night, out on the road. So much sky and stars. You feel like it’s going to swallow you up. What I was playing, that’s what it feels like.” He shrugged, a little self-conscious. “Like I said, it’s just something I like to play.”
“Have you decided what you’re going to do with all these new songs?”
> Wade leaned over for a kiss. “That’s the question, isn’t it? Want a beer?”
She dropped her head against the back of the couch. “God, yes. I had to go in and fix payroll again this morning.”
“Is there anything Josh can’t screw up?”
“If there is, I haven’t found it yet.”
He strode to the kitchen and came back with two beers, then settled on the couch next to Daisy. “Does Randy have any idea just how bad it is?”
“He still signs off on the time cards, so he’ll see mine for this morning. I wrote on it exactly what I was doing. I always do.” She sipped her beer. “I think he’s stuck with Josh no matter what.”
“You should be managing that place for him so he can retire for real.” She said nothing and he watched her face intently.
Daisy was quiet for a long time. They sat in companionable silence and drank their beer. He was about to ask her what she wanted to do for dinner when she spoke. “I did this project for a business class where I basically had to draw up a plan for starting a new business. I still have the report and all the research.” She paused. “The human resources degree is a safe bet. Safer than a lot of things, anyway, in this economy. But I do want more. I want my own place one day. More of a restaurant than a bar. Good steaks. Seafood sometimes. And I mean real seafood, Alaskan king crab legs and lobster. Shrimp made six different ways.”
Wade smiled. “Barbecue shrimp and a nice, juicy steak sounds real good.”
“Chicken and burgers, too. A few yummy desserts and a good drinks menu, but not an actual bar. No sports on TVs, either. I mean, those things are fine, I’d just want something a little different. Not as fancy as the restaurant at the winery, but still a place where you could bring either your family or your date.”
“Would there be music in your place?”
“Oh, yes. I’d have a nice sound system and I’d keep it so you could hear the music but it wouldn’t be so loud that you couldn’t talk to the people you’re dining with. A nice eclectic mix of stuff during the week, and maybe live music on the weekends.”