“Isabelle.” He shakes his head. “Baby, don’t you get it? You’re everything that I want. I love you. I’m so fucking in love with you, that I can’t even imagine ever moving on. Even with all of the shit that I’ve been thinking that you did to me, I still loved you. And now that I know the truth? Fuck.”
He shakes his head. “I hate this feeling.”
“This is what life with me would be like. I can’t carry a child, Ryan. I can’t fulfill your dreams. You deserve more than me. You deserve someone who can give you the children that you want.”
“I already have a child. I can be good with that. What I don’t have, is you. I can never accept not having you.”
“But…”
“Baby.” He shakes his head. “We can adopt. We can still have kids. I’ll get snipped, if it means that you’ll never have to risk this again. I’d do anything, as long as at the end of the day, I can have you.”
“You can’t really mean that! Can you honestly say that you could love a child that wasn’t your own?”
His eyes lock with mine and he nods.
“Yes, absolutely.”
“You say that now, but…”
“Isabelle, there’s something that you need to know. Something that I should have told you a long time ago.”
He looks torn, before he begins to speak.
“You had said that you didn’t think that I could love a child that wasn’t my own. But there’s a big secret that you don’t know, and maybe then you’ll see that I can.”
He closes his eyes, and shakes his head, before continuing.
“Isaac isn’t biologically mine.”
“What?” I can’t even contain my surprise. I mean, sure. Isaac doesn’t look anything like Ryan, but I never doubted for a second that he was Ryan’s child.
He holds up a finger.
“Audra cheated on me. I had been out of town for work and was supposed to come home on a Monday. I missed my family so much, that I ended up catching an earlier flight home. I walked into my bedroom on a Sunday night, and walked directly in on Audra having a threesome with two dudes in our bed.”
“Oh my god, Ryan. That’s so awful.” I can’t even imagine.
That knowledge explains a lot, though. It explains Ryan’s insane jealousy, and the way that he has reacted to me in the past. Knowing what he went through breaks my heart.
He snorts. “It gets shitter, I promise.”
“Obviously, things got pretty heated after that. We were at each other’s throats for months. I guess we still are, to be honest. But, shortly after I caught her, she blurted out during an argument that Isaac wasn’t even my son. I had been threatening to take her from him, and she wasn’t going to have that. I couldn’t believe that she would say such a thing, or that she would actually do that to me. I knew that she was a shitty person by that point, but that was an all new low.”
“She pushed the issue of the DNA testing, and of course, it backed up exactly what she had said. The most fucked up part about all of it was that she wasn’t even certain who the father was. There were too many people to narrow it down.”
“Jesus!”
“I know. She’s a horrible person. She knew that I wasn’t going to walk away from my son. That kid has been my entire world since the day that he was born. She knew that she had me by the balls when it came to him. That’s why she thinks that she can call all of the shots with him. She basically can.”
“Oh, Ryan, I’m so sorry. I had no idea.” I just want to hop out of this bed and hold him.
Watching him bear his heart to me is absolutely heartbreaking.
It makes me hate his ex-wife even more.
“No one does. The only people that know that shit are Audra and I, and of course, our attorneys. That’s why I need you to understand, I can love a child that’s not my own. I’ve never experienced having my own blood, and I’m perfectly content if I never experience that. I’m sorry for the way that I acted towards you, Isabelle. I truly am. But, when I thought that you were doing me the same way that Audra did, I lost my mind. The weeks without you have been the worst of my life. A million times worse than after my divorce. I love you, Isabelle. I promise that I will love you for the rest of my life, if you’ll only give me a chance. Whatever our family ends up looking like, I’m fine with that. All that matters is that I have you by my side. I just need to know that you feel the same way.”
“Oh, Ryan.” The tears that have been threatening to fall from my eyes finally break loose. I don’t even bother to wipe them away.
My heart overflows with love for him, and as I stare into the broken look in his eyes, I realize that I have been a total fool.
I never gave Ryan a chance to accept me for what I am, and now I realize, that he totally would have.
“Of course, I feel the same way. I love you. I’ve loved you all along, but I didn’t want to end up getting hurt down the road once you realized that I couldn’t give you children.”
“You can give me children. Just in a different way.”
I can’t hold myself back from him anymore. I sit up in the bed and lean over, nearly falling into him.
My body aches, but I don’t even care. All that I know is that I need to feel his arms around me.
His arms wrap tightly around my neck, and we just sit there, holding each other.
“I love you, Ryan. I love you so much,” I whisper into his chest as I hold him as tightly as my arms will allow.
“I love you too, baby. And I always will.”
I sink into him, and a sob that I didn’t even realize that I was holding in leaves me. He holds me tightly as I cry into his chest.
I cry for the loss of my baby, I cry for the heartbreak that Ryan has faced, and I cry with happiness that Ryan and I now stand a chance.
“Marry me.” He pulls back from me, grabbing my chin in his hand and staring into my eyes.
“Marry me, Isabelle. Be my wife. I’ve never been more certain of anything or anyone in my life. I know that I don’t deserve you, but I promise you, I will spend the rest of my life trying to prove to you that I’m worthy of you.”
Our eyes lock, and I feel my lip quiver
Without a single bit of hesitation, I nod my head.
“Yes, absolutely, without a doubt. I will marry you, Ryan.”
“Soon. As soon as you get out of the hospital.”
“Really? You don’t want to wait until your season is over?”
He shakes his head, before the first smile that I’ve seen on his face in a long time tugs at the corners of his lips.
“Are you kidding me? I’ve been waiting my whole life to marry you. It just took me a while to realize it. I’m not waiting any longer, baby. I can’t wait to start our lives together.”
Me too.
So much, me too.
Epilogue
Ryan
“I don’t think that I’ve ever been so tired.” Isabelle falls into my arms, before nestling her head into the crook of my neck.
“I’m so tired, that I can’t even fall asleep. How is that even possible?”
I wrap my arms around her, before pulling her all the way onto my lap.
“I have a few ideas of how I could tire you out. You always sleep well after I rock your world, baby.”
She smacks me softly in my chest. I don’t even need to look down at her to know that she’s rolling her eyes.
“Seriously, Ryan? I’m telling you that I’m tired, and you’re offering up sex. You’ve got such a one-track mind.”
“Um, yeah. Of course, I do. You know that I’d live inside of your body if you’d let me.”
“I can’t believe that I’m even saying this, but I think that I’m too tired for sex. Is this how life with kids is? They wear you out to the point that you don’t even want sex?”
I snort, and pull back from her, so that I can stare into her eyes.
“Mrs. James, I think that you might have hit your head. If you were thinking clearly, you’d rem
ember that we’ve already made love twice today, and three times yesterday. I’m pretty sure that we have way more sex than most couples with a six-month-old baby.”
“I suppose.” She sighs. “I’m not trying to complain at all. I’m just so tired that I’m delirious.”
As soon as the words leave her mouth, our son Ian begins to wail.
Isabelle hops off of my lap and begins to turn towards the sound, when I grab her by the waist and pull her backwards.
“No, baby. You sit. I’ll get him this time.”
“No, no. I’ll get him. I miss him. That’s his I miss mommy cry anyways. He needs me.”
I chuckle to myself, before shaking my head again.
“Ian needs his mommy to be rested. You go and get into bed and get some rest. I’ll get him this time.”
“I…”
“Baby. It’s not open for discussion.”
She pouts for only a second before throwing her arms up.
“Fine. You’re probably right. I could use a nap, I just hope that I can fall asleep.”
She still looks undecided, so I gently push her in the direction of our bedroom before making my way down the hallway to the nursery.
I reach down into the crib and pick up our son, Ian.
I’m still in awe of the little guy, and I can’t even believe that he just turned six months old.
Life has just been flying by.
Last week, Isabelle and I celebrated our one-year wedding anniversary.
Right before that, was the anniversary of our unborn baby’s death.
And then, just a few days ago, our son Ian turned six months old.
We have had a hell of a lot of things happen in the last year, some amazing, and some damn right heartbreaking.
All of them have made our relationship stronger in their own way.
I wasted no time marrying Isabelle. The day that she left the hospital, I slipped a ring on her finger and married her two days later.
I was done waiting around, and once I had finally realized what I wanted out of life, I wasn’t going to wait a second longer.
We had just a small ceremony, on our piece of land by the ocean. Her immediate family came, but only because if she had invited her entire family, the wedding wouldn’t have been so small anymore.
My parents and my sister came, and most of the team.
She moved in to my house with me, and we got busy drawing up the plans for the house that we are still in the process of building.
We started jumping through all of the hoops for the adoption agencies, and at first, the outlook was bleak. There were more adoptive parents than there were babies, and our name was pretty far down the list.
There was a point when we started to lose hope, but then, our name was chosen.
We were never able to meet Ian’s mother or father, but from the sounds of things, they were both high school seniors with little family support.
The idea of their child being raised by someone in my position had intrigued them enough to look into us.
And then, they decided that they would like us to adopt their son.
Ian was born on a cold December night, in the middle of a blizzard in Oklahoma. Isabelle and I were up for almost two days straight, stuck in three different airports, all trying to get to the hospital to pick up our son. We were exhausted, excited, and honestly, a bit terrified.
But, the second that we saw Ian’s face, none of that mattered anymore.
We both fell in love with him instantly, and he has been the perfect addition to our family.
Isabelle is amazing with him, and honestly, watching the way that she loves our son only makes me fall in love with her more.
If that’s even possible.
Things with Audra also improved after Ian came home.
When Isabelle and I first got married, she did everything in her power to make my life a living hell. She at one point, didn’t let me see Isaac for an entire month.
My attorney was right all along, though.
Once Audra caught wind that I was having another child, she suddenly became far less bitchy. She slowed down with all of her threats, and suddenly, it was like I was dealing with an entirely different person.
I think that in her twisted mind, she thought that since I was going to have another child, that I wouldn’t care for Isaac the same anymore.
She saw that as an end to her payday, since technically, I could walk away any time that I wanted to.
That just goes to show you how little Audra knows me.
No fucking way would I ever walk away from my son.
So, anyway, now we share Isaac every other week. I’m hopeful that once Isaac is old enough, he can make his own decision as to which house he wants to live at full time.
I have no doubt that it would be here with us.
I sink down into the rocking chair, and stare at my sweet baby boy in my arms.
“Hey, there, little man.” I coo at him, as I stroke my fingers against his baby soft cheek.
“You’ve been wearing your momma out lately. She’s so worried about you that she’s not really sleeping.”
Ian farts, and then, he smiles.
“I get it buddy, really, I do. Guys like us would do anything to keep a woman like your mommy around. But as men, we also have to look out for her.”
He grunts.
“Mommy needs to get some sleep tonight, ok? So, Daddy’s going to be your guy. You’re going to have to settle for me.”
I feel a hand on my arm, and I turn.
Isabelle kneels next to the rocking chair, before resting her head against my arm and looking between myself and the baby.
“There was no settling when it came to you, Ryan, you know that right?” She leans down and presses her lips against mine.
“And there definitely was no settling when it came to you.” She whispers to Ian, before gently stroking his chubby little cheek.
I want to scold Isabelle for not getting into bed, but I totally understand why she never wants to leave Ian’s side.
I feel the exact same way about the both of them.
Isabelle has completed my life in a way that I didn’t even realize that I needed.
I had no idea that this much happiness could exist for me, and every day, Isabelle shows me just how amazing life can be.
I’ve finally found my happy ending.
About the Author
Elizabeth Perry is a Cleveland, Ohio native who has been transplanted to a small town surrounded by the lake in Michigan. Her free time is taken up shuffling her children all over God’s green earth, which she complains about often, but wouldn't change for a thing.
She is a true romance addict, and a firm believer that every story deserves a happy ending, no matter how hard it is to get there.
She is addicted to ice cream and cuss words, probably drinks too much coffee, and has been known to tell way too many dirty jokes.
When she isn't writing, she is most definitely reading, or spending time with her children, who may drive her crazy on occasion, but are the absolute center of her universe.
Also by Elizabeth Perry
Bet On It, Sliding Home Series #1
Whatever It Takes, Sliding Home Series #2
One Little Word
Hard To Fall (Sliding Home Book 3) Page 16