Even though I knew Jacks’s big secret that he was a strong Dom, talking to him about it was going to be about as comfortable as pulling teeth with the lack of Novocain. The whole thing had me fidgety.
A frown on his face, his question-filled eyes bore through mine under his furrowed brows as I walked into the small Italian restaurant. I smiled and waved as he stood, pulling out my chair.
“Hi, Jacks.”
He didn’t smile back, his demeanor sullen and withdrawn.
“Hey, Coco. Are you okay? Fuck … are we okay?”
His hand seemed unstable as he reached for the open bottle of wine he’d already started on. He poured me a glass as I noticed the slight clenching of his jaw. I hated this awkwardness between us and couldn’t stand the thought of losing the fun side of my big brother.
“Yes … and yes. I’m good. I really like my job so far. Just another thing I owe my big brother for. The list keeps growing.” I sipped at the strong Merlot. “And, of course we’re good. Why wouldn’t we be?” I shrugged, watching the bulging vein in his neck.
“Jacks, listen…” Before I finished speaking, he was talking at the same time.
“Hartley, you’ll never owe me a damn thing. I just want you to be okay.” His eyes wandered. He was so uncomfortable. Jackson was never out of sorts like this. The whole situation would have been funny if it was for any other reason.
“Is it because Dad asked you to take care of me before he died? Is that why you’ve always been so overprotective and possessive?”
My eyes widened with what I’d just asked. Of course he was possessive. Weren’t they all?
He took a long drink of wine and refilled his glass, not speaking for the next few seconds. “No, Coco. Dad has nothing to do with it. I’ve always had your back. You know that.”
His jaw clenched. He and our dad were always close. His passing had been a lot harder on him that he’d led on. Of course, everything was that way with Jacks. Always in charge. Never any visual emotion.
“I just never anticipated all this bullshit. You meeting Wisely … and everything else. Christ, Hartley. This is all so fucked up. You’re my baby sister.” He raised his wine glass, emptying all of it except a small drop in the bottom.
“Wow. You’re calling me Hartley. You never do that unless it’s something awful or life-and-death. Why do you think things are fucked up? I’m actually happy for once, Jacks. You’re happy. And you know what? I’m not a baby anymore. I haven’t been for years.”
He reached for the basket of hot crusty bread and rolled back the red napkin, the smell delicious and intoxicating.
“The sourdough is amazing here.” He held the basket in front of me and I reached for a piece.
“Yum. Thanks, Jacks.”
Suddenly, I had no idea what to say. There had never been a strain between us like this. I’d certainly never planned on having to discuss anything sexual with my big brother. But in the end, we were both adults. Why couldn’t we shake this thing off?
“Jacks, listen. Before you say anything else, I don’t need an explanation. We’re both adults, and you haven’t done anything wrong.”
His jaw was tensing up again.
“Coco, I didn’t know you were gonna be there. I swear. Fuck.”
He rubbed his hand along the light coating of facial hair covering his jaw. Suddenly, I couldn’t help but giggle.
“This is a major first. I’ve never seen you nervous. Come on, Jacks. Let’s don’t make something huge out of this. It’s only sex. Everybody does it.” I grinned at him again and took a huge unladylike bite of bread. “A million bucks, though? Shit. She’s beautiful. I give you that, but what pussy is worth that much money? Is hers lined in platinum?”
He squeezed his eyes shut, choking down the bread in his mouth. He was so worked up over this. In past times, no matter what, I’d always been able to get Jacks to lighten up. Get a laugh out of him when no one else could. I crammed another piece of bread in my mouth, trying to be silly and lighten the mood. It wasn’t working today.
“Has the lady decided what she’d like to eat?” I hadn’t even really looked at the menu as I struggled to swallow the huge lump of yeasty bread, listening to Jacks mumble, “Thank fuck.”
“I’ll have the lobster ravioli.” The waiter smiled.
“Excellent choice, ma’am. Mr. Shipman?”
Hmm. They knew him here by name. Maybe he brought his subs here. Shit. I wasn’t asking.
“I’ll have the grilled trout and broccoli rabe,” Jackson said.
“God, of course you will,” I teased, as the waiter picked up our menus.
Jacks stared at me, the scowl covering his face growing. Then it happened. Giving his head a small shake, he started to laugh. Really laugh.
“You don’t hold back on anything, do you, Coco? I still can’t believe you asked me that.”
“What? About platinum pussy? Did that rattle the resilient DA?”I raised my eyes, listening to the clearing of his throat as his all-business face returned.
“I’m just worried about you, Coco. You’ll always be my little sister. This lifestyle … you and Justin together. Holy Christ, I never anticipated you finding out about all this. Don’t let this change our relationship. I’m the same person I’ve always been.”
I smiled again, leaning my head back and acting like I was in deep thought.
“Yeah, I know that now. You always were damn bossy. Now it all makes perfect sense,” I shrugged. “By the way, do you have a playroom?”
I was messing with his head. Trying to keep things from getting too heavy and complicated. He had no idea I was craving the same lifestyle, sans the sadism. Or maybe he did know. Maybe that was part of what was bothering him. The fact that I was with Justin and what that probably meant, even if it really didn’t. His eyes narrowed at my question.
“Did your cheeks just turn pink when I asked you that? My big brother. The high-powered attorney blushes over sister’s question about Dominant lifestyle.” I raised my wine glass. “Cheers, big brother.”
Jackson frowned, but only for a second. He had an awesome smile. It was the same grin as our dad.
“Thank God for you always being my goofy little sister in an awkward-as-fuck situation. Coco, just be careful with Wisely. Remember this. You make the choices. You’re always the one with the power. Never forget that, Hartley.”
I broke off another corner of bread and chunked it at him. His eyes were still worried, but a small smile crept up his face.
“You still didn’t tell me if you have a red room of pain.”
Ignoring my question, he picked up the piece of bread resting by his wine glass and took the butter knife, smearing a thick coat of butter on the crusty sourdough. His eyes glared at me with no teasing whatsoever in them. I knew that look. I’d seen it more than once in Justin’s stare. It meant to drop the discussion.
My brother has a freaking red room of pain! Move over Fifty.
“I know I already said this, but I’m gonna say it again. Be careful with Wisely. Promise me, Coco.” He dropped the buttered bread back down without even tasting it.
“I will, Jacks. I promise.”
Chapter Thirty-Three
Justin
The candle always burns out.
Fucking phone. I raised my head to see 5:45 AM. Thanksgiving morning.
Check your phone in thirty minutes.
“What’s wrong? Is everything okay, baby?”
“Nothing’s wrong. Just something I need to take care of. Go back to sleep, sweetheart. I’ll be back before you wake up.”
I watched her eyes flutter back to sleep. Jesus, I loved this woman.
****
“You’re gonna like Alex. She reminds me a lot of you. Fiery-ass temper and sharp as a tack. She keeps the pretentious doc on his toes.”
“How did they meet, JT?”
I gestured to the left side of my lower face. “Alex has this little dimple right here on her cheek. It’s nothing reall
y, but she came to Tyler’s office wanting him to do surgery. Said she’d hated it her entire life and wanted it gone. He turned her down flat. Told her that under no circumstances would he touch her face. Little five-foot-two Alex looked Tyler in the face and called him a jerk. Right there in his office.” I shook my head. “Nobody talks back to Tyler Yates that way.”
“Clearly … and noted,” Hartley whispered. “That’s kinda romantic though. Did they start dating right after that? Did he whisk her up right then and there and spank her or some other kind of sexy Dominant move? That would have been smoking hot.” Hartley’s eyes brightened up, along with the lower half of my body.
“You think spanking would have been hot, sweet thing?” I lifted my eyebrows at her. This wasn’t her first time to drop a hint on her opinion of spanking.
I’d love to redden that fine ass, baby. Soon.
She shrugged, smiling. “Maybe.”
“I’ll certainly keep that in mind.” I turned into the small gated community Crystal lived in, remembering the day I’d come with Tyler to look at the house he’d bought her. The yard was covered in blooming plants and flowers, Crystal’s green thumb prominent by the colorful beds.
“We’re here.”
She was smiling. Jesus Christ, I loved it when she was happy.
I squeezed Hartley’s hand as we reached the front door of Crystal’s house, adjusting the slight discomfort in my jeans.
“Justin. Come in, sweetheart.” Crystal was beaming. Despite all the shit she’d been dealt, she always had a smile on her face. Especially when she had her two boys together under the same roof. I grinned at the speck of flour or something on her right cheek.
“Is this Hartley?” She held out her hand and then quickly pulled Hartley in for a hug instead.
“Gosh, I feel like I already know you. Please … come in. I’m so glad you and Justin are having Thanksgiving with us. Tyler and Mason are in the kitchen arguing over whether whole berry or plain cranberry sauce is the best.” She rolled her eyes. “Everyone knows cranberry sauce sucks. I’ve never even seen anybody actually eat the stuff. I always just buy it for the color.” She giggled.
“Sorry. You have to forgive me. I get excited at holidays, Hartley. I’m rambling again. You two come in. Oh, and I have eggnog. Spiked by the boys, of course.”
“Justin. Hartley. Glad to see you two finally made it.” Tyler stood at the long granite island with a white apron around his waist, Alex beside him putting the final touches to some sort of pie concoction.
“Well, this is a Kodak moment if I’ve ever seen one. The studly Tyler Yates wearing an apron.” I couldn’t hold back my laughter, pulling out my phone and clicking a quick picture before he could move out of sight. The slit between his eyes narrowed into his famous scowl.
“It wasn’t by choice, dick wad. I’ll bury you if anyone sees that photo.”
Alex smiled, wiping her hands on a small towel.
“Isn’t he the cutest?” She looked up at Tyler and stood on her toes, kissing the tip of his nose.
“Henpecked is more what I was thinking,” Mason sneered.
“Is this the beautiful Hartley we’ve been hearing about?” Mason raised Hartley’s hand and kissed the top of her wrist, her cheeks turning just a little pink. The guy was a true charmer.
“It is. Now get your paws off my girl,” I teased.
“Hi. I’m Alex. I’ve heard so much about you. It’s great to finally meet you, Hartley.”
“Likewise,” Hartley whispered. She was being so shy, an attribute brought out in people that didn’t know Tyler very well.
“Nice to see you, too, Justin.” She stretched to reach my cheek, giving me a quick kiss.
“Everything’s ready. We just need to carve the turkey.” Crystal teared up.
“Mom, don’t cry again,” Mason said, throwing an arm around his mother’s shoulder.
“I know. I get so sentimental at holiday time. I have no idea why. It’s silly,” she said, pulling Mason against her and hugging him. Everyone knew exactly what the reasoning behind her sentiment was. Ever since the youngest Yates son started talking again after years of silence, she’d been that way around him. I guess I could understand that. Plus the fact, her only daughter had been killed at a young age.
“This all looks amazing, Crystal. Once again, you’ve outdone yourself.” Hartley was quiet as I set a piece of turkey breast on her plate.
“It’s all great, Mom,” Tyler said. “Of course, my angel helped, too. She’s become quite the cook. Wait until you try her chocolate caramel pie.” The conversation quietened as we enjoyed our meal together.
“You want to help me serve up the pie, Hartley?” Alex asked.
“Sure,” she whispered.
The two of them stood. Jesus, they looked a lot alike. I had a good feeling they might become close friends.
“Hope it’s good,” Alex said. “Tyler thinks I’m some kind of Martha Stewart for some unknown reason. By the way Hartley, how’s the new job going? Is Tyler okay to work for? I’ve always wondered if he was an ass to his employees. He’s so bossy.” Hartley scrunched up her nose and made a funny face. I could tell she already liked Alex.
****
“Angel, you’ve outdone yourself on the pie, like always,” Tyler said.
“It’s excellent.” Justin wiped his mouth and laid his napkin across his plate. “Everything was perfect, ladies.”
“It was. Thank you all for having us over.” Hartley was finally opening up a little since she’d gone in the kitchen supposedly cutting pie for thirty damn minutes.
“Excuse me just a minute.” Hartley smiled, standing up and reaching into her purse at the sound of her ringing phone.
The color draining from her face, she whispered, “When?” Her eyes clouded with tears as I watched her struggle to swallow.
It’s done. She knows. Fuck.
“Baby, what’s wrong?” The look in her eyes was filled with doom.
“James. He’s been found dead.”
My own eyes stung. Not with emotion about his death.
The maggot got exactly what he deserved.
But the look in Hartley’s eyes … it felt like someone had sucker punched me. I wanted to apologize for putting that look on her amazing face, maybe even take everything back. Even though I couldn’t tell her what I’d done, I could at least give her the compassion she needed.
Yet in my head, I was still cold. Hungry. Begging for money. Listening to cracking skull. Staring at dried blood.
And first and foremost, my mother was still under his spell.
The fucking bastard was dead, and still haunting me.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Justin
The pain was real.
The temperature still a sweltering, eight-five degrees during a Texas winter, I pulled into my private parking spot listening to the ding of my cell phone as I walked into Venture, grabbing a quick drink without speaking to anyone and heading for my office.
Just got back. Where are you?
This all started out strictly sex. Never intended on it becoming anything more. I didn’t fucking do more. But now it was all loud and clear.
It had always been more.
Since Topeka in the seventh damn grade.
The shot of whiskey burned my throat as I tossed it back. Hard liquor encouraged migraines so I didn’t tend to drink much. Right now, I didn’t give three notorious fucks.
I welcomed the pain.
I needed the calm.
I’d had a man murdered exactly one week ago. The biological father of the woman I loved more than anything. Had no regrets that the fucker was dead. Maybe that made me a sick bastard. I didn’t care. Yet seeing my girl in pain was the biggest remorse I’d ever felt. It hurt like hell. Not used to worrying about anyone’s feelings, Thanksgiving Day changed my entire perspective. I never wanted to see that look on her face again.
Seven miserably long days had passed since I put her on a plane with J
ackson to lay James to rest. A week without her proved one thing. Before, I’d simply gone through the actions. Worked seven days a week keeping a smile on my face that didn’t mean shit. Today, I didn’t even want to remember my existence before Hartley. I’d missed her like hell. My body actually ached from the loss.
Tyler was spot-on about love biting you on the ass. I never saw it coming. Never had any inclination I could feel this way. Her sweetness. The kind heart she’d had her entire life. The loving eyes I’d watched cloud over in sorrow when she heard the news. Not that she had feelings for the sick fuck. She didn’t. But it was Hartley.
I just got to the club. Get your fine ass over here.
I had a million things I wanted to say. I’d had way too many days without her. Lots of time to think.
I wanted her with me. Every day.
I wanted to spend my life beside this beautiful woman.
Wanted to wake up with her by my side after feeling her warm body safe against mine every night.
I’d even grown to love the way she slowly inched those never-ending, ice-cold feet of hers between my thighs at night after she thought I’d fallen asleep.
Everything was different.
Because of her.
And the migraines. Shit, I’d deal with them one by one.
One day at a time.
In a trance-like stare, I watched my computer monitor, bolting from my chair to open the office door.
My sweet thing was here.
“Baby. God, I missed you.”
Her eyes were tired and red. Maybe it was just jet-lag. Something told me it wasn’t though. I pulled her against my chest, smelling the fresh scent of her hair, reveling in the pulse of her heart against mine. She tensed up, backing away with an awkward smile. Perplexed, I wasn’t sure what was happening. The tips of her eyelashes were wet. She’d been crying.
Fucking hell.
Crimson Sunsets Page 19