She stiffened. As a feeling of dread needled her spine and her heartbeat whittled to a stop, she sat completely straight in between his knees. “You’ve got to be kidding.”
“I owe it to Timmons.”
“So now you’ve got another score to settle? How long can this go on?”
“Until Rashand is captured dead or alive.”
Un-freaking-believable. She jumped off the bed, charged into the bathroom and slipped into a short, satin robe. How could he endanger his life? Not once, but twice! Who in their right flipping mind subjected themselves to that type of nonsense?
He couldn’t do this. Not again. Her heart couldn’t take it. Neither could her sanity. Tightening the belt at her waist, she marched back into the room and stood beside the bed, fisting her hands on her hips. “Nearly dying once wasn’t enough?”
He sat up on the edge of the mattress, draping his arms across his knees. “What do you want from me?”
“It’s not what I want, it’s what I’ve already given.”
“Like?”
“My body,” she stammered. “My inhibitions. My darkest secrets.” Part of my heart. And you seem determined to rip the rest of it out of my chest with your bare hands. “Look at what you’ve just done to me. What in the hell do you call that?”
“You tell me.”
A near-death experience. “Do you honestly think I would’ve surrendered myself to that extreme had I’d known you were taking another stroll down death row?”
His eyes narrowed.
Oh she wanted to scream. “I’m going to take a shower and get dressed,” she said calmly, despite wanting to cry her eyes out. “When I’m done, I want you gone.”
He reached forward and massaged her hips as if trying to loosen the muscles. “Why?”
She moved out of his grasp, clutching the robe at her breasts. “I can’t live like this, Brent. I’m sorry. I just…I don’t understand why…you were nearly killed. Why didn’t you just stay away if you planned on going back?”
“I couldn’t.” He stood and took an agile step forward. “My reasons run deep.”
“Yeah, straight to my womb. I get it.” She clenched her teeth. “Why don’t you just admit you came back to fuck me? You can’t get any deeper than that, right?” When he moved yet closer, she stepped back. His eyes narrowed into thin slits, his chest puffed and those broad shoulders stiffened. Maybe she should’ve worded things a little differently.
Or maybe he should’ve put on some clothes and sat back down. Seeing his tense, naked, fully aroused body ignited sparks between her thighs. Couldn’t her damn pussy sense the seriousness of their conversation?
“That’s not fair, Annalee.”
“Damn it, what are you thinking? You can’t keep reappearing in a woman’s life in between death missions. Life doesn’t work like that.”
“I’m being selfish, I know. I wouldn’t have come back if I didn’t need to see you—”
“One last time,” she finished sarcastically. The finality vaulted her stomach. Shit. Why hadn’t she taken his damn career into consideration before falling at his feet?
She saw nothing beyond his power and aura of confidence at that time, and she couldn’t think straight, period. But really, this didn’t pertain to his career. He was willing to put himself into a danger zone to entrap a cold-blooded murderer who’d possibly bludgeoned hundreds of people to death. Well, three she knew for sure. A fourth, way too close. These types of situations couldn’t possibly end in favor of the law, or bait, or whatever the hell else.
She wanted to vomit. She’d nearly lost him to a sadistic monster and he’d agreed to attempt a second try? What the fuck! Just recalling him lying in that hospital bed… “If I knew you’d constantly choose to dangle at the end of a string, I would have closed my door the last time you left. It’s that simple.”
“Annalee, you—”
“Don’t Annalee me. You don’t know how hard that was, not knowing whether you were going to live or die.”
His shoulders stiffened and his entire body appeared to stand guard. She ran her fingers through her hair. “Damn, I worried myself sick.”
“You had no reason to worry. I’m fine.”
“Maybe you are now, but you weren’t. Hell, you were in critical condition—pounding on death’s door. If someone on the other side would’ve answered it… Christ. When I saw you lying there…” The thought still twisted her stomach in a million knots. “I worried when you left. I worried when you quit calling. I worried about whether or not you were coming back. I worried while you were fighting death. I’ve done nothing but worry since you reappeared in my life.”
“I didn’t excite your heart or light up your insides?”
Her mouth dropped open. “You heard what I’d said?”
“Every word. I didn’t realize how much you cared.”
“How could you not have known? I slept with you that very first night. I don’t do that.”
“Why did you let me fuck you, Annalee?”
“Don’t change the subject.” Jesus, what woman in her right mind wouldn’t? Couldn’t he see how much she lusted after him?
“You want to lay things on the table? Then let’s bring them all out.”
“It’s irrelevant to the current subject.”
“Bullshit.”
What the hell was he fishing for? “Okay, fine, you want the truth?” She folded her arms across her stomach. “I would’ve slept with you four years ago.” And every day in between had he not moved away. “If you would’ve shown a little interest rather than rub your girlfriend in my face, I would’ve given you my virginity like I’d said.” That was a night of inebriated confessions she’d rather forget. Well, not really. It had opened the door to the awakening she’d just experienced.
“I dated her hoping to draw your attention.”
“You definitely got my attention. It’s when I realized you had no interest in me whatsoever.”
“Oh I was interested, but you were so classy and innocent, I didn’t know the best approach without scaring you off.”
Now he sounded like Jared. “Impossible. Mr. Confident was too afraid to approach me? Right.”
His brow rose. “I wouldn’t have left if not for my mother’s illness. My entire life turned upside down at that point.”
“Imagine how your next departure is going to affect her. And your dad, and Brody and Brittany. They went through hell while you were lying in that hospital bed. Parents don’t want to bury their kids, Brent. It doesn’t matter that you’re twenty-nine.” She ran her fingers through her hair again. “I’m glad you came back. I really am, but I think it’s time we move on with our own lives.”
“I can’t just toss my feelings aside and walk. I’ve already tried once.”
How was that even possible? “What if I’d been married when you reappeared weeks ago?”
“I had no intention of disrupting your life.”
“And had children?”
“Annalee, look—”
“No, you look. I want babies someday, and I want them to have stability without worrying whether or not Daddy will come home.”
His next three steps forced her back-stepping until her hips grazed the dresser. She gripped the edge, squeezing it while he moved into her space, pinning her between him and the damn piece of furniture. He stood so close she had to tilt her head to look into his eyes. Although he kept his hands at his sides and didn’t physically touch her, his heat initiated a frenzy of tingles all over her body. They spiraled between her legs to awaken a new surge of pleasant throbs.
No! This can’t happen. She would not succumb to his power. She was too upset to allow her body, or his, to start dictating her needs.
He untied her robe and slid his hands to the curve of her bare waist. “Nicely said, Annalee. So you’ve thought about having my babies?”
Man, his hands were hot. And his breath whisking across her face set her insides on fire. “Yes. No. That was a generalized
statement. I want a man who will come home every night, not every few days for a couple of weeks during the month.”
“What’s your true gripe, Annalee? The fact I’m trying to entrap a killer, or the amount of time I spend at sea?”
How the hell did she know! She barely had a coherent thought. How could she give a straight answer? “Both,” she shouted. Slowly those large fingers lowered to her ass, where he tightened his grip and pulled her hips forward. Every hardened inch of his erection pressed into her belly. “Brent, don’t.”
Somehow she had to consider the perception of his fate and put an end to this right now. Every slight touch deepened her feelings and she pictured herself ultimately falling in love with him. It was already happening. Having shared intimacies and deep secrets with him, it seemed impossible not to fall hard and fast. She’d been bitten by a fucking love tick. And it burrowed beneath her skin, sucking the life out of her.
She was so damn vulnerable when he walked back into her life she hadn’t a chance against his charm or seduction. He was every bit the man he used to be, and then some. Why had she let down her guard?
All the innocent innuendos from their past came crashing back full force with a new meaning. The subtle looks and gentle pats they’d shared as friends actually planted seeds destined to blossom into something more. Why would she subject herself to the more not knowing what the future held? Every minute she spent with him created one more memory to dwell on if he didn’t come back. “I can’t do this.”
“Can’t do what?”
The sensuality in his tone sent shivers down her spine, but she clamped her teeth together hard and waited for the tingly sensations to subside. “This!” She latched onto his wrists and attempted to pry his hands off her waist, but she’d have better luck at moving a brick wall. “This was really a bad idea. It’s time for you to go.”
“What has gotten into you?” He lowered his mouth to her neck and planted kisses below her ear to her collarbone.
“Please, stop.”
He did, but an abundance of regret throttled her when he straightened and looked her in the eye. “I’m sorry, Brent.” She stepped away, digging her toes into the carpet. “I can’t let myself get any closer. This time, you may not come back.”
“I’ve already told you, I have to do this, Annalee. It’s my job to help bring him down. Whatever happens, happens.”
“So now you’re trying to take as many farewell fucks as you can in case this guy kills you? What am I, part of your bucket list before you die? Nice. Real fucking nice.”
“No, damn it,” he shouted, glancing at the ceiling and rubbing a hand along the back of his neck. “This is bullshit.”
She stomped into the kitchen and sat down at the table. Tears burned her eyes but she fought the urge to cry. She wanted a comforting hug. Unfortunately, the reciprocating arms she craved remained untouchable in the other room. If he consoled her in any way, she’d crumble and end up in the exact situation she’d just avoided.
“Annalee!”
She glanced up. He stood in the kitchen doorway, seemingly unscathed by her prior actions. At least he had the decency to put on his pants.
Was setting her emotions ahead of his fair? Was she depriving him of something he wanted in order to prevent pain in the wake of her own heart? Truly not fair!
She inhaled sharply.
“I’m leaving. When you find a rational moment, call me.”
“I am not acting irrationally,” she seethed. Couldn’t he understand she only wanted to protect herself from further heartache?
He walked to the kitchen table, flattening his palms on the surface. As he leaned forward, pinning her with a dark, sinister gaze, his lids narrowed. Jesus, he looked downright mean. Even his flexed biceps appeared ready to fight.
“Damn it, Annalee, why are you so scared I won’t survive this?”
“Look at your scars. You nearly died. Don’t you value your life any more than that?”
“I value all life. If I fall to my death while saving others, I’ve done my job.”
“Your job. Well, I hope your job fulfills your hopes and dreams, otherwise you’re going to die a lonely soul.”
“A contented soul.”
“How sad. You have so much passion burning inside you.”
“I relieve it through my work. Analyze all dangerous jobs, Annalee, not just mine. Cops. Firemen. The list goes on and on.”
Oh God, did he have to put it that way?
She was acting like a selfish, heartless woman. “I’m sorry, I get it.” She blinked while lowering her gaze to the table. Possibly she could learn to tolerate his sea life, but to intentionally set himself up as bait? How many more times would he encounter the same situation? “Why does this have to be so hard?”
“Because you’re making it that way. Why can’t you accept things for what they are?”
“And what’s that? Impossible? Why’d you single me out, Brent? You could have any woman you want.” She glared hard into his eyes. “I can’t put my life on hold just to fulfill your desires in between murder romps.”
“This is an unusual circumstance, Annalee.” He pounded the table. “And it possibly won’t ever happen again.”
“But you can’t guarantee it.”
“You know better than that.”
She placed her foot on the chair, clasped her hands and crossed her fingers around her bent knee. “Okay, so let’s say you won’t ever participate in another manhunt. What’s going to happen when it’s time to reclaim another hijacked ship at gunpoint?”
“Now you’re being impossible.”
“No, I’m being realistic.”
Slowly he pulled himself to a stance. “That’s my God damn job. It’s what I’m paid to do. It’s what I’m trained for.” He ran his fingers ruthlessly through his hair. “Do you want me to quit? Is that what this is about?”
“No! I would never ask you to do that. I’m trying to sort through my feelings.”
He clenched his teeth. “Then sort the fuck through them,” he growled.
“That’s the problem, I can’t. I know what I want, but I want it every day, not on the second week of the month, or the first weekend and last.” Why’d he have to step back into her life and arouse the feelings of severe like into love? Why did this have to be so damn confusing and difficult!
“Why don’t you just say you can’t handle the risks of my job, therefore, nothing is going to come of us? Is that so damn hard?”
Her eyes widened and tummy cringed. It was the truth, but was it so wrong of her to think like that? And the interpretation coming from him made it worse. The man put himself in jeopardy to save lives, and all she’d done is ridicule and mouth off. “You’re right. I’m so sorry.”
“Suppose I ask you for a commitment, Annalee?” He pounded his finger on the table. “Right now. Suppose I ask you right…fucking…now to spend the rest of your life with me. What would you say?”
“Don’t you dare!”
“Why?”
“Because you’d be asking deceitfully just to prove a point.” She jumped off the chair, knocking it backward. Shit! Shit—shit—shit. Why did she have to take things way out of context? “I’m just so scared.” Tears bubbled in her eyes. Before they became evident to him, she stomped to the sink, propped her elbows on the counter and bowed her head in her hands. “I am acting irrational.” To an extreme. So he came to see her before his next mission. He’d asked for nothing beyond spending time together, but the me mode in her brain was too damn stubborn to overlook her wants and focus on what he wanted. How could she be so selfish and stubborn? This shouldn’t be about her.
What harm would it cause to grant him something so simple? What if it turned into a final death wish? Oh God.
The kitchen fell silent except for the soft hum of the refrigerator. Had he left the room to gather his clothes? Her stomach churned in agony with the thought of never seeing him again. Not long ago, she didn’t have these worries. He
r daily stress consisted of what to nuke for dinner, or what movie to watch on TV. Brent Delaney was not an issue at that point.
No, he hadn’t left. She sensed his powerful body closing in at her back. She curled her toes against the cool ceramic tile, anticipating the moment he touched her. Would he dare?
Then a strong arm wrapped around her waist from behind and he pulled her close, digging his groin into her ass. She gasped and held her breath as he bent, conforming his body to hers, and placed his lips above her ear. His hot breath trickled through her hair and flowed over her scalp, calming her instantly.
“Annalee,” he whispered, forcing her to stand with her back held tightly to his
chest. “Kiss me goodbye.”
No, she refused because she didn’t want him to leave. She closed her eyes and shook her head against his rugged breastbone.
He took her hips in his large hands. “Turn around.”
Heat burned through the satin robe, scorching her skin. She swallowed and shook her head once more. If she complied, she’d cry.
“Turn around,” he ordered. “Now.”
Well, putting it that way. Slowly, she spun in his arms, clutching the counter at her back.
The robe separated, inviting a rush of cool air to tickle her breasts. When he took it upon himself to run the backside of his hand along her nipple, she shivered and dug her fingers deeper into the countertop.
As his gaze swept her torso, he sucked in a shaky breath and placed his hot, rough palms on the curve of her waist. Her knees weakened and her body dropped a notch closer to the floor, forcing him to tighten his grip.
She tilted her chin. Maybe it was time to spare the altercation and be honest and upfront about her feelings. Not that it would make a difference, but at least he’d know how she felt.
If something horrible did happen on the assignment, the pain she’d experience at that point couldn’t possibly hurt any more than what she felt now. “I need to sit down.”
Without uttering a sound, he released her waist.
“You too,” she added after she pulled out a chair and sat. A tempo of quick heartbeats strummed her chest, and it swelled with so much emotion fresh tears flooded her eyes. She blinked as he took a seat directly to her left and pulled the chair close.
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