I winced again. "Volume. Please."
She looked guilty and sat back down on the bed, but stared straight at Bradley who looked more than a little uncomfortable.
"It wouldn't have made a difference. Besides, like I said, it's against regulations." Sarah opened her mouth to say something, but Bradley cut her off. "I did raise this concern to the general. He agreed there was nothing we could do to confirm it, so we did nothing. It does, however, explain you getting the memory back."
I groaned and rubbed my temples. "So it was her this whole time. I wasn't sure if I had dreamed it or not."
Bradley nodded. "It seems that way."
"So now we can arrest her, right?" Sarah said placing her hands on her hips.
I shook my head, regretting the movement instantly. "No, there is still no evidence."
Sarah sighed and leaned back against the wall again.
I looked up at Bradley. "So now you know what happened. Is there anything else you can tell me?"
Bradley clicked his tongue and grimaced. "The general wants to see you as soon as you are able."
Sarah raised an eyebrow. "The general? Why?"
"I didn't ask."
I pressed myself into my pillows and shut my eyes. "At least I know now why my head is pounding. Dumb robot."
Bradley smiled at me put his hand up to my head and his fingertips rubbing my temples. "Will you be okay?"
I shuddered as a jolt of electricity ran through me. "Yes." I opened my eyes. "But I'm going to need to get some rest before I go see Walker."
Bradley nodded. "You get as much as you need. I will be here if you need me."
I smiled my thanks to him, and closed my eyes to drift off into an uneven sleep.
TWENTY-SEVEN
General walker stood behind his desk as usual. "Thanks for coming to see me."
He ushered his aides out the moment I arrived which caused some of them to glare at me. I didn't much care. I wanted to know why I was here, and some underling wasn't going to distract me. I didn't let the fact that I too was an underling get in the way of that thought.
I lifted my eyes up to meet his. "I came as soon as I could. I would have been here sooner, but I needed to rest after what happened."
"Yes, that's what I wanted to talk to you about."
"Sir?"
General Walker sat down and gestured for me to do the same. I took the seat in front of him and waited. He cleared his throat. "I want you to know that I was watching your run through the course today."
I frowned. It was unusual for the general to take time out of his schedule for that. Now that I thought of it I remembered seeing him in that group of people. I had thought it was just a glitch from the blows to the head, but I guess not.
I took a breath. "Permission to ask why, sir?"
"You don't need to be so formal in here. You know that."
I smiled up at him and let my shoulders relax.
Walker leaned forward. "I've taken a bit of a special interest in your development, Alex. Your test scores are… unusual in their growth. Both in the physical and the Pulse department. We've never had anything quite like your ability." He leaned forward. "And the best part is you have the dedication to match."
"Excuse me for saying so sir, but I don't believe I am doing any better than anyone else would if they just put the effort in."
The general grinned and sat back on his chair. "That's what I like about you, private, you're built on a solid work ethic. Rare these days."
I felt my chest swell in pride at his words. "Thank you, sir."
The general cleared his throat again and sat up straight on his chair. "I guess that's why I'm so disappointed in your effort yesterday."
It felt like a blow to the stomach. It took me a few seconds to regain my wits. "My… effort, sir?"
"Your strength and reaction times were amazing as always, but you're falling behind in the awareness and intelligence departments."
"I know that, sir, and I've been training to improve."
"Not hard enough I'm afraid." He stood from his chair and walked around the stand beside me, and sat down on the edge of his desk. "I know what you're good at, Alex, but I need you to show me improvement in the things you aren't good at."
I could feel a burning in the back of my eyes, but I refused to allow a drop to escape from them. "Yes, sir. I'll double my efforts."
"That's good to hear. Now, about your test scores…"
I lifted my eyes to his, but he was turning away to grab something from his desk. He picked up a small folder and slid it across the desk to me. I grabbed it out of the air, removed the sheets of paper inside, and began reading.
It was my performance results.
My eyes scanned the headings of each section and the score at the end. The performance based tasks I got almost perfect marks, but was let down by the rest. Each time I read the words 'unsatisfactory' felt like a knife in my chest. I tried not to let me hands shake as I reached the last sheet of paper. There was a handwritten comment. I read it aloud.
"The soldier in question is too reckless and unaware of her surroundings. Her current condition is a danger to those around her, and a danger to herself." I swallowed hard, but kept reading. "Until improvement has been shown we will not be recommending her promotion to the advanced track. Her skill in combat is clear, but without the intelligence to back it up we are afraid of her brutality getting out of control in the field. We cannot abide such behavior in our soldiers. We look forward to seeing her progress in the test next year."
I slumped in the chair and let the paper fall to the ground. Brutality? I had never even considered… but I couldn't contradict it. I had lost myself in that attack on the robot to the point where my hands had burst open. The memory of the event was a blur, but I remember the way I looked at the examiner. I never wanted to feel that way again.
I didn't want to become a monster.
The general cleared his throat again, and I looked up into his eyes. This time I couldn't stop mine from watering.
"Those reports are for my eyes only. You never read that, understand?"
I nodded.
"I just wanted you to know what you needed to work on. Have I provided you with sufficient motivation?"
I nodded again and grit my teeth. I blinked the tears from my eyes and stood in front of him with my head held high.
"Sir, yes, sir."
"Good. Dismissed."
I turned to leave, but halfway to the door the general spoke again.
"If you were more aware of your surroundings, it's possible that you might have been able to ward off Jane in that attack." I spun to stare at him, my mouth open. "Don't worry," he said, waving his hand. "I only know what Bradley told me about your memory resurgence." I felt myself relax. "My point stands though. Think on it."
I nodded, saluted, and then turned from the room to make my way out of the mansion.
"How did it go?" Sarah asked when I was back in our room. She was laying on her bunk reading, but put down the book to look at me.
I climbed up onto my top bunk without meeting her eyes. "Bad."
"What happened?"
I told her what I had learned, except for the part about the handwritten note. I didn't want to betray the general's trust.
She tilted her head to the side when I finished. "So what now?"
"Now I learn harder. I've been spending too much time on the physical and not enough time on the mental. The worst part is that I knew it. I just thought I could get through on my instincts alone." I sighed and rubbed my temples with my fingertips, but was unable to catch the magic Bradley had injected earlier. "Guess I'm not as good as I thought."
Sarah stood and took my hands in hers. "Hey, you said yourself that they said you were amazing physically. You just need to work on the other stuff a little more, that's all. Trust me, if you put as much effort into that stuff as you do everything else, you'll be a super soldier in no time."
I smiled at her, but could
n't hold it. "I know, I was just…"
"You were looking forward to starting your advanced training early, I know."
I sighed and leaned forward to wrap her in a hug.
"You know me too well."
Sarah giggled. "That's what friends are for."
I pulled back and was about to ask if she wanted to go get some food, but stopped myself. I had an idea.
"I think I might have a way to make this all okay."
Sarah raised an eyebrow. "Want to fill me in?"
"Not yet," I said, causing her to pout. I grinned at her. "Let me work something out first, and after that I'll let you in on it."
Sarah looked at me sideways for a few seconds, but shrugged and stepped down to the bottom bunk.
"You better."
In a few minutes she was snoring. I envied her ability to fall asleep on command like that. I considered again what I had learned that day, and what I had seen of myself. I vowed to make myself a better person. I switched out the light and rolled over on my mattress. No matter how much I wished it, sometimes sleep was a hard thing to find.
TWENTY-EIGHT
"It's Friday. No Bradley tonight?"
I stuck my tongue out at Sarah which prompted her to giggle. "No," I said, "I have something to do."
Bradley and I had been rocky to begin with, but after everything that had happened we'd settled into a routine. Although we weren't taking things too serious, we had begun reserving certain nights of the week just to be together. This night had been one of those nights, but I had had to cancel at the last minute when something else came up.
Sarah tilted her head. "Poor lover boy. Whatever will he do without you?"
She dodged the pillow that I threw at her head and jumped up onto the edge of her bed to look down at my papers.
"Whatcha doing?"
I turned back to the papers. "Infiltration training."
She raised her eyebrows. "You managed to get hold of some books? I thought you weren't allowed them until you got into the advanced course?"
I grimaced at her and looked over to the door to make sure it was closed. She raised her eyebrow at me, and I leaned close to whisper to her.
"That's kinda the point." I nodded to the stacks of papers in front of me and spun them so she could see their content. I almost laughed at the gasp that escaped her throat when she realized what they were.
"Those are building plans for the mansion!"
I nodded. "The east wing to be precise. That's where the library is."
Sarah's mouth grew wide. "You're going to steal the books?"
"Well… it makes sense doesn't it? I mean, it's kinda like a practical training exercise to see if I'm any good at it."
Sarah raised an eyebrow. "Please, explain to me this thing you call logic."
I scratched the back of my neck and avoided her eyes. "Well, you see, if I'm bad at planning, stealth, and the like, what better than an innocent mission within the safe confines of our base to practice?"
"Innocent? You'll pull kitchen duty for a month when you get caught."
I glared at her in mock outrage. "No faith! Also I think now that I know what I need to work on I will be much smarter about the whole thing."
She gave me a skeptical look. "That only works if you study the theory first."
I grinned. "In theory."
She groaned at me and flopped down onto her bed to let me read in peace. After a few minutes her head popped up again.
"So when are we doing this thing?"
My eyes widened as I looked at her. "We?"
"Well now that I know you're doing it I can't not do it," Sarah said with a shrug. "Can't let you have all the fun, can I?"
I frowned at her. "This is pretty dangerous, if I get caught…"
Sarah rolled her eyes. "Oh whatever. If you're in then so am I."
I looked at her and then nodded. "Fine, if you're game. The plan was to head out on Sunday night after midnight. No-one goes in there on Sunday so there is the least likely chance of anyone being there."
"What about Bradley? Have you let him in on your plan?" My grimace gave her all the information she needed to know. "Lover boy not trustworthy enough yet, huh?"
I shook my head. "It's not that. It's more that I don't want to put him in a position where he has to put me over his rank. By duty he would have to report it. He and I are a lot better these days, but I don't want him to think that I need him to break the rules for me. It wouldn't be fair."
"Well aren't you just little Miss Noble Pants."
My second pillow got her right in the face.
Sarah climbed up onto the bed and looked over the plans with me. I was looking for some way into the building that didn't use the front door but was coming up empty. I was about to give up when Sarah pointed out a way in through the top floor.
She pointed to a small square on the plan. "See the opening here for ventilation? That's where we get in."
"Well that's great," I said with a large grin and wide eyes. "Now how do you propose we get onto the top floor without being seen? You happen to be able to teleport Miss Feely Feely?"
Sarah ignored my goading. "Right here."
I frowned and rotated the plans to get a better look. I flicked between the sheets of paper that detailed the different levels. After a few seconds of scanning I shook my head. "I don't see it. How does that corner get us to the roof?"
"Well the whole building's covered in windows, right?" I nodded. "And what do windows have?"
I frowned more. "Curtains?"
Sarah shot me a disapproving look. "Awnings, you dork."
I raised an eyebrow. "Dork?"
"You. You're a dork. Now shush." She pointed toward the map. "If you take into consideration the location of the rest of the estate, what does this section of wall give us?"
I considered for a few moments before looking up at her with a smile. "The least visibility from the grounds." The corner was facing away from the rest of the buildings, and even from the road that ran around the house. The only way someone would be out that way is if they were doing something they shouldn't be. That's why it worked so well for us.
Even though I worried for her safety I was glad that Sarah was in on the plan. She was smart, capable, and much better at seeing the bigger picture than I was. It was a good thing I had one of the best thinkers as my roommate to help me study. Not only that though, it would be good not to be doing something so dangerous alone. Also it was exciting. I knew I could get in a lot of trouble for doing this, but for the first time since I got here I could taste that rush of freedom. That part I missed so much from my previous life. Even though there was a lot to do here, it was stifling in that there were things you had to do. It would be good to show Sarah a little piece of what I had had growing up. It was the one good thing I did have.
Upon thinking of Sarah I frowned and turned to her.
"How are you going to go getting up the side of the building?" I asked. "Aren't you afraid of heights."
Sarah grimaced and little, but shook her head. "I'll be fine. It will be night, right? I can just pretend that it's not high."
"I don't think that's how it—"
"I'll be fine, okay?" Her tone left little room for argument.
I shrugged and looked away from her tense position looking over the plans. I could tell this was something she wanted to do to help her to get over her fear. I just wasn't sure that this was the best time to be pushing it. It would be risky enough without adding more danger to it. I looked up at her to try to get her to change her mind, but something about her expression told me not to. This was something she wanted to do — no, needed to do — to get over her fear. I wasn't going to be the one to tell her no. Not after all the ways in which she had helped me.
"So do you think Sunday is good?"
"What is the weather forecast?"
I raised an eyebrow at her. "How the heck should I know?
She shook her head at me. "So you're telling me you're g
ood to go climbing up a five story vertical wall—with no safety equipment, mind—even if it's in the middle of a thunderstorm?"
I sighed. There were a lot more conditions you had to consider in this type of thing than I thought. I had only thought of the people and the direct place involved. I hadn't even stopped to consider the environment.
I tried to consider anything else I may have missed. "Perhaps we should go on a walk around the building. That way we can scope the area without it being suspicious."
Sarah grinned at me. "Now you're thinking like a true soldier." I smiled at the compliment and the two of us talked more into the night about our plans.
There wasn't much that set my blood racing like knowing I was going to be doing something I wasn't supposed to. In the past it had only hit me in the moments before I was about to steal something, but thanks to the planning aspect of this I was already feeling it now. It was going to be a rough wait for the time to come, but I was also excited about the research and reconnaissance aspects. They were things I didn't think I would be doing for years yet.
I let the enjoyment bubble up in me as I lay in the darkness listening to Sarah's snores from above me. For the first time in forever, I was excited about something.
TWENTY-NINE
Sarah and I stood below the awning of the first window in our climb to the top of the mansion. We had decided to wait two weeks instead of just one. Above us now was the moonless sky that we had planned on for reduced visibility. It worked against us a little, but the benefit of cover outweighed any danger.
I turned to look at Sarah. "You ready?"
She grimaced, but nodded. I turned away from her and took one last look around. We had waited in the woods nearby for a few hours and seen no-one, but it was better to be safe than sorry.
Sarah stepped forward and placed her hands together for me to stand on. With her help I went up into the air and grabbed on to the edge of the first window. I pulled myself up and onto my feet. There wasn't a large amount of room on top of each window—less than a foot of depth—but enough for our purposes. Once I had my balance I reached down for Sarah.
She hesitated grabbing my hand.
The Pulse Series (Book 1): Pulse Page 18