I didn't like that wall.
***
I tried to think. I don't remember thinking. I don't know what it means. I knew it was meant to mean something, but every time I got close it went away. I didn't like it not being there, but things were easier when I wasn't sad. I didn't like being sad.
I decided to stop being sad.
There.
Things are easier now.
I felt myself smile.
FORTY-ONE
I stood with my eyes forward, just as I'd been ordered to. My body still moved in small amounts, but I did all I could to stem it. I had my orders. I couldn't imagine a world without orders to follow. It didn't make any sense. It would be like not breathing. It would mean death.
Orders were life.
So I stood, as ordered, and waited. An indeterminate about of time later a set of men walked into the room. I didn't look at them, but small words appeared above their heads in a green tinge displaying their names with a few other small stats about them.
This was General Harrison Walker, first commander of the Pulse division of the United States military. His statistics had been limited, but his rank was above even my own supervisors. My supervisor stepped into my vision next. Sergeant Gus Peterson. He was one of the three people who was of clearance high enough to give me orders. The third man that followed behind was the lowest of the men who could give me orders, but by no means a low man—Doctor Bogdon Vorboyov.
These men were my lifeline. Without them I wouldn't exist. I wanted to smile when I realized I was in the presence of all three at once, but I had not been ordered to so I didn't. It was inconceivable to do anything that I had not been ordered to. I held my position and waited. The men came to a halt in front of me.
"So, Gus, what's your opinion."
"Field ready, sir. We've been training for the past three months and she is back up to her former fitness level."
The general raised his eyes. "That's quite an achievement."
"It's the conditioning, sir. She is a machine in every way except where it matters."
The general raised his eye at that.
"She can still Pulse," Sergeant Peterson said, his cheeks tinting red.
"How is the implant working?"
Gus shrugged. "The doctor knows more than me, but from what I understand we were unable to tap directly into her neural network. There are internal monitoring devices throughout her body though, all of which is tied into a heads-up display we project into her eyes. It doesn't interfere with her vision, and also displays all her current orders and any information on people around her. She also has a threat matrix that adjusts on the fly given visual and auditory input."
General Walker stood watching me for a few moments before nodding and turning to Vorboyov. "Well, Doctor, it looks like you might have done it."
Doctor Vorboyov smiled. "It took longer than I would have liked, but I believe I can reproduce the effects too. It would need to be modified from person to person, of course, but I believe anyone can be trained."
The general sighed. "Let's see how this works out before making any bigger plans." He raised an eyebrow as Sergeant Peterson. "Care to give me a demo, Gus?"
"Yes, sir." Sergeant Peterson took a step forward and stared into my eyes. "Subject D485."
I felt my chest swell as the approval code to reply lit up in front of my eyes. "Sir, yes, sir."
"Complete the obstacle course as fast as you can without using your pulse."
"Sir, yes, sir."
I turned and made my way toward the starting line. This course wasn't the same as the one outside, but it was close. The perfect path that I had discovered earlier in the week lit up in front of me and I started the run. I tore through it as fast as I could. When I looked up to the time at the finish line I felt my chest tighten and I started having trouble breathing. My body was shaking and I couldn't feel my fingers.
"What the hell is going on?" I heard the general shout.
Sergeant Peterson was in front of me. "D485, reset."
I closed my eyes and felt the pressure in my chest lift. After a few seconds my breathing was back under control and I stood to attention to await my next order.
Sergeant Peterson turned toward General Walker. "Apologies, sir. That was my fault."
"What was it?"
"She will follow orders to the letter, which is what we wanted, but there is a… glitch."
The general crossed his arms. "What glitch?"
The sergeant grimaced. "It's nothing wrong with her. We just need to be careful about what we ask her to do. If it is something impossible, her body starts to break down."
The general's eyes widened. "Break down?"
Doctor Vorboyov stepped forward. "Allow me, sir. She is wired to follow to the letter our orders. It is so hard coded into her that failure to do so is incomprehensible. If she didn't follow an order, her body would start to collapse. What you witnessed earlier was the beginnings or a heart attack."
"And you managed to stop it with just a command?"
The doctor inclined his head with a smile. "I built in a failsafe when I realized the problem we would encounter. The reset procedure wipes her clean of all orders."
The general sighed. "So what triggered it? She did what you asked. There was no contradiction there."
Sergeant Peterson cleared his throat. "It was in my phrasing, sir. My specific phrasing was 'as fast as you can'. Her time was a second less than her previous best time. It was a foolish oversight on my part, sir."
The general frowned. "Seems as if we have to be careful then. Any operatives with clearance will need to be given the correct training in order to handle her."
"We have a process in place, sir."
The general snorted. "Forgive me if I deem to check over them first considering you yourself are still making mistakes."
Sergeant Peterson's cheeks tinted pink, but he didn't look down. "Sir, yes, sir."
"Barring that though I see no reason why she cannot be field tested."
Doctor Vorboyov grinned. "You will not be disappointed, sir."
The general nodded. "See to it that I'm not."
Sergeant Peterson turned to me. "D485. How would you like to meet one of your old friends?"
I felt myself frown. "Sir, yes, sir."
He turned and began walking toward toward the stairwell. I followed him.
Something about that word made my head twinge. I blocked it out and followed the sergeant up the stairs. I had orders to follow.
I didn't have time to think about what a 'friend' was.
FORTY-TWO
We arrived outside and I had to squint my eyes. I tried to to let the sunlight inhibit my ability to maintain a vigil of my surroundings. Sergeant Peterson's training had been very clear. I am to make sure that no harm befalls any of those around me who I am charged to protect. This included those who have the ability to give me orders.
My head snapped up as we rounded the corner and looked out over the woods. Standing on the edge of the forest was a man. Tall with a medium build. Athletic. I scanned the rest of the area, but there was no-one in sight.
"Sir, threat due north east four-hundred feet."
Peterson nodded. "At ease, D485. He's a friendly."
I reordered my threat matrix to allow for him, but as he was still an unknown to me I didn't place him too low. When we got closer I saw him standing at attention, and something in my mind throbbed again. I pushed it away and stopped a step behind and to the left of Sergeant Peterson.
"Officer Bradley."
The name and rank updated in my display.
"Sergeant Peterson, sir."
"Drop the theatrics, kid, you know I hate that crap."
Officer Bradley gave him a small smile. "Thanks, Gus. I guess this means you got the approval?" His eyes swung over in my direction, but flicked back to Sergeant Peterson before I could register his interest. I frowned, moved him a few slots higher in threat level, and then continued scanning th
e area for other threats.
"Yes we did." The sergeant stepped forward and put his hand on the officer's shoulder. I frowned at the breach of protocol, but did not speak. I had not been asked to. "Are you sure you can handle this, boy? I don't want another incident like six months ago."
Bradley swallowed. "I'm sure. I'm under control here. I just want to contribute."
Peterson stared him in the eyes for a few moments, before nodding once. "Don't let me down, boy. I stuck my neck out for you then. I won't do it again."
"Sir, yes, sir."
"Well you know what to do."
Bradley nodded and turned to me. "Subject D485. Initiating protocol Alpha Charlie India Four Six Seven Eight Two. Passphrase Detroit."
I dropped Officer Bradley from my threat matrix and realigned him in the temporary space in my mind. I waited.
Sergeant Peterson cleared his throat. "D485, approval granted."
My internal order matrix updated with the new information. Officer Bradley was given a slot below Doctor Vorboyov. I turned to him.
"Thank you, sir. Any orders?"
Bradley hesitated, and turned to Sergeant Peterson. At his nod, Bradley stepped forward.
"D485, please follow me for basic maneuver training. We will regroup with your unit after I have a basic idea of your skills."
I nodded. "Sir, yes, sir."
Bradley stared at me for a few moments, then nodded. He turned and began jogging, and I followed him as required. We went through many drills. He would give me orders and I would follow them to the letter. It was hours before we were complete.
I felt pride in following his orders, but something was wrong with him. He did not look pleased, no matter how well I performed. I must have been under performing. I would have to do better.
"Ale—" Bradley said, before stopping. "D485, will you answer me a question."
"Anything you wish, sir."
Bradley sighed and swallowed. "What do you remember?"
I frowned at him. "I'm sorry, sir, I do not understand the question."
"I mean before all this. Before you became who you are."
My head started to hurt. Just a small pain in the back. "I'm sorry, sir, but I have always been who I am."
"No I mean before that. Do you remember anything about the time before?"
The pain in the back of my mind grew and I blinked from the pain. "I'm sorry, sir, I do not understand."
Bradley sighed. "Never mind."
The pain in my head decreased, but didn't leave. "Have I displeased you, sir?"
Bradley started as if he hadn't expected me to speak. "Er, no. I'm happy with your performance."
The pain in my head left, and I felt my chest fill again. I remained at attention. "Orders, sir?"
"Are you hungry?"
"I do not require sustenance at this time, sir. Would you like me to refuel early?"
He shook his head. "No, that's okay. I think it's time to introduce you to the squad."
"Sir, yes, sir."
We made our way out of the training area and headed toward the barracks. I had studied the plans of the area and knew all the locations, but seeing them with my eyes gave me the opportunity to catalogue everything. I updated as much as I could with the new information. There was a lot to take in at once, but it was my duty, so I didn't allow myself to falter. We paused at the doorway of the barracks building.
Bradley turned to me. "This might be a little hard."
I tilted my head to the side. "Sir?"
Bradley sighed. "Nothing. Let's go inside."
I followed him through the doorway and immediately had to update my threat matrix. There were dozens of people in the place, all staring our way.
Bradley let out a shout as I pushed him backward against the wall and placed myself between him and the potential threats. None were moving now, but the odds of survival against this many people were slim.
"I suggest a tactical retreat, sir. There are too many."
A few of the people started murmuring amongst themselves and staring at me. I kept my eyes open and tried to assess who was the most likely threat. It was hard with this much new data.
"Orders, sir?"
I asked, not looking back in case one decided to strike.
"Stand down, D485. These are your fellow soldiers."
I felt my body relax and I took my hand from his chest. I allowed myself to partially turn from the threat to look at him. "Apologies for handling you, sir. I wasn't aware they were not a threat to us."
Bradley sighed. "It's quite alright, Ale— D485. I should have given you some warning."
Bradley took a step passed me and raised his voice to a shout. "I don't remember giving all of these people here clearance to be here today. If you are not a part of the initial orders to be in this common room at this time, leave now or you will be punished."
The crowd started murmuring again, but it dispersed and within a few minutes there were only eight people remaining including ourselves.
Bradley stepped toward the remaining people, but turned back to look at me. "D485, this is your unit. Nadine, Mary, Jessica, Chris, Paul, and Robert."
Their names updated.
"Sir, yes, sir. Authorization levels?"
"None, as far as you're concerned."
"Sir, yes, sir."
The tallest girl, Nadine, took a step toward me. "Alex, is that really you?"
I felt a twinge in my head, but I ignored it.
Bradley cleared his throat. "D485 has no memories prior to her initialization."
A few of the others grimaced and shuddered. Nadine didn't react, except for giving me a sad look and swallowing hard. "Understood." She took her place back in the group.
Bradley turned to me. "You will be training with your unit each day. For the first week it will be highly supervised, until we can be sure of your… safety."
I nodded. "Understood, sir."
Bradley sighed. "Is there anything you would like to say?"
I frowned at the question. "Say, sir?"
"Any thoughts on the matter."
I paused for a moment. "Did you have an order for me, sir?"
Bradley's shoulders dropped. "No." He turned toward the others. "You're dismissed."
They turned and left the room, not speaking to each other as they left. A few of them turned to look at me, their faces a mixture of sadness, fear, and uncertainty. I awaited my orders.
"D485, you are free to go wash up. Report back here in thirty minutes. Your change of clothes have been provided and are waiting for you in the wash area."
"I am to go alone, sir?"
Bradley blinked at the question. "Yes. You are free to act autonomously. Barring violence. You may defend yourself if the need arises, but you are not to initiate violence. No-one within these walls is a threat, do you understand?"
I nodded. "Sir, yes, sir."
"Dismissed."
FORTY-THREE
I made my way out of the common area and headed toward where the plans in my head said the shower block would be. It took me longer than I had planned as there were people in the hallway watching me as I passed. Some of them gave me a wide berth, and others glared at me, but none of them spoke to or tried to interact with me.
When I walked into the showering area there were a few others females there already, but upon seeing me they all packed up their gear and left. I was alone in the block as I undressed and used the facilities. Within an acceptable amount of time I had myself clean and was finishing getting dressed. I was pulling back my hair into a tight bun when the door behind me opened.
My orders were that there was no threat within these walls, but my training also stipulated to be prepared for anything. I scanned the person who had come in, but found nothing unusual. She looked much the same as the others among the crowd of people I had seen when I first entered the building, aside from a large scar down one side of her face. I turned back to my mirror.
She walked up behind me and watche
d me as I finished tying my hair. I maintained eye contact with my reflection and set about completing my task to the standard required.
"You have no idea who I am, do you?"
I paused in my task and turned to the girl. "No, ma'am."
The girl gave me a small smile. "How interesting. My name is Jane."
"It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance Private Jane. I am designation D485."
She smiled at me again. "No you're not. You're Alex."
The pain in my head returned, but I forced a smile and shook my head. "I'm sorry, Miss Jane, I do not understand."
Jane sighed. "No, you don't. Do you see this here?" She lifted a hand and pointed the scar that split her face. "You gave me this a long time ago. I was in a coma for two months after you gave me this scar. My brain had swelling. I almost died."
I frowned at her, the pain in my head increasing. "I have no recollection of this event, Miss Jane."
"I know, but it is true all the same. I spent a lot of time trying to find a way to get back at you. To hurt you like you did me, but then I realized it wasn't worth it. We had both made mistakes, and it wasn't something that could be fixed with violence. It would have just made things worse, and to be honest I'm not sure if I could take you at the moment. You're pretty much a mindless killing machine, aren't you?"
My eyes started to water. "I do not understand, Miss Jane."
"It took me months to get inside the library in a position where I was able to look at the records. It made for fantastic reading, but no matter what I could find there was never any mention of you. I knew they were keeping you alive somewhere, but I just didn't know where—or why." Jane smiled at me. "But then one day by chance I was left alone in the good doctor's office. He happened to have some classified documents in his drawers that gave me the information I was after." Jane stepped around me, smiling the whole time. "After that it was easy to find what I needed. I just had to know where to look. Now I have what I need to make sure you suffer too."
I shook my head. "Suffer?"
"It's kind of ironic in the end. I'll be helping you in a way. Oh well. It's not as if I'm doing this for you. I'm doing it so Bradley can be free of you. So he and I can be together again. Like we were. Before you came." Jane stepped forward and put her hands on my shoulders. I tensed, ready to defend myself if required, but instead of attacking me, she spoke. "Subject D485. Initiating protocol Alpha Charlie India Four Six Seven Eight Two. Passphrase Detroit. Override command Sierra Delta Golf Seven Six Nine Four Eight Bravo. Release code Four Seven Alpha."
The Pulse Series (Book 1): Pulse Page 25