by A. T Brennan
It was almost one o’clock in the morning when he heard a car pull into the driveway, and Cameron put down his book and raced down the stairs so he could catch Nathan before he disappeared into his room.
He found Nathan in the kitchen as he was pulling a beer out of the fridge.
“Mr. Meyers?” he asked, realizing that he wasn’t sure if he should call him Nathan or not.
Nathan almost dropped his beer as he whirled around, his eyes flashing and more than a little startled.
“Cameron?”
“Um, there’s a few things that I need to talk to you about.”
It was really only the second time he’d seen Nathan, and while he’d remembered that he was handsome, Cameron hadn’t remembered just how handsome he was.
His eyes were such a light gray-blue they seemed to look right through and into him. The last time they’d met, Cameron had been a little overwhelmed with the house, the job, and all the changes. Now that they were in the kitchen, alone, and it was after midnight, he was suddenly a little shy.
Nathan just stared at him with his piercing eyes and pushed his dark hair back from his forehead.
“Now?” he asked after a long pause.
“I never see you during the day.” Cameron felt his face flush and looked away for a second, only then realizing that he’d neglected to put on another layer of clothing before rushing downstairs. His pajama pants covered everything they needed to, but with no shirt on he felt a little exposed.
“Fine.” Nathan leaned against the kitchen island and twisted the cap off his beer. “What is it?”
“I wanted to ask you some things about the kids.”
“Okay.”
“Do you mind if I take them to the museums or any of the summer festivals?”
“Sure, if you want.”
“When I need more supplies, what should it do?”
“Supplies?”
“Arts and crafts, activities. I’ve almost used up the cash you gave me for groceries too.”
“Just pick them up when you take the kids shopping.” Nathan reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. He thumbed out a credit card and put it on the granite counter and pushed it towards Cameron. “Use this from now on. That way you don’t have to keep coming to me for more. The PIN is 1919 in case there’s no tap option.”
Cameron looked at the card and then at him. Nathan pushed it a little closer, and he finally picked it up.
“Just put everything you need on it.”
“Everything?”
“Groceries, whatever supplies you need. The kid’s clothes and shoes—”
“Clothes and shoes?”
“If they need them, just go ahead and buy them.”
“Okay,” Cameron said slowly. “What about toys?”
“Toys? They have lots of toys.”
“But most of them are for little kids.”
“They are little kids.”
“Kaitlyn is, but the boys are getting older, and the toys aren’t really geared towards them. It’s almost like the toys stopped getting updated a few years ago.”
He saw Nathan’s jaw tighten and wondered if he’d said the wrong thing.
“Okay, put the toys on there too.”
“Where do you donate your used toys?”
“What?”
“If you put a new toy in, you get them to take an old one out and donate it to charity. It’s a learning moment.”
“Do you know of a place?” Nathan asked after a lengthy pause.
“The Children’s Hospital takes them, keeps what they can, and passes the rest on to a women’s shelter.”
“That sounds good.” Nathan nodded and took a long drink from his beer. “Anything else?”
“Can I get a lock on my door?”
“What?”
“My door, can I get a lock for it?”
“Why?”
“It’s right next to the playroom. On my first day, the boys took all my clothes and scattered them around the room.”
“They went through your clothes?”
“It was a prank.” He shrugged. “But it would be nice to have a little privacy.”
“I’ll install one.” Nathan nodded. “But I’m keeping one of the keys.”
“Of course.”
“Is that it?”
“After the kids are in bed, is there a part of the house that I’m allowed to use? So I’m not trapped in my room?”
Cameron had been feeling a little closed in the past few nights. He wasn’t used to being confined to a single room. It was comfortable, but he would like the option of having somewhere else to go.
“You can use the rooms down here. Use the media room, if I’m not,” Nathan said after a pause.
“I don’t watch TV. Could I maybe use the library?” Cameron’d had his eye on that room since he’d first seen it. The sheer amount of books was incredible, and he would love to spend his time just browsing and reading on those comfy chairs.
“No TV at all?” Nathan asked, his voice a little surprised.
“Nope.” He shook his head. “Movies yes, but I’m not into TV.”
“Yeah, sure.” Nathan shrugged and took another long pull of his beer. “Anything else?”
“Um, not that I can think of.”
He wanted to ask him why the kids never saw him. Why after a week of being there he had yet to see Nathan during the day, but he kept his mouth shut. This was basically their second conversation, and that seemed to be more of a third-conversation thing to bring up.
Nathan stared at him as he took another drink of his beer. There was something in his eyes that was different. He’d started the conversation looking and sounding very exasperated, but now there was a hint of something else in his gaze. It almost looked heated and appreciative, but that couldn’t be. Could it?
“Okay, well, goodnight,” he said hurriedly after Nathan lowered the bottle. He needed to leave now; otherwise, he wasn’t sure he would be able to stop staring at his too handsome employer.
“Goodnight.”
Cameron turned on his heel and rushed out of the kitchen.
When their conversation had finished and they’d been staring at each other, he’d felt very exposed, almost naked. It was as though Nathan’s eyes were looking right into him. He’d tried to look away, but Nathan’s eyes were so captivating, so incredibly blue, that he’d been frozen and could only stare back at him.
Nathan was a handsome, strong, and virile man; that much was obvious to anyone who happened to glance at him. But he was also his employer and the man who was paying him to look after his children. He was his boss, and that was the end of it.
Cameron shook his head as he hurried up to the third floor. Nathan was the type of man who would catch his eye, but he’d never speak to. Men like Nathan didn’t look at twinks like him. He would have to get over this silly little crush, fast.
“YOU WANT US TO DO WHAT?” Logan asked incredulously as all three kids stood in the middle of their playroom, staring at him.
“Gather all the things you don’t play with anymore. Things you’ve outgrown, and we’ll donate them to the hospital.”
“Why would a hospital want our toys?” Daniel asked.
“For the kids who have to stay there so they can have toys to play with.”
“So you want us to give our toys to other kids?” Logan stared at him. It was obvious he wasn’t warming up to the idea.
“Your father told me you could have some new toys, ones that you’ll actually play with and enjoy. He wants you to give away your old toys to kids who need them so that you can help them.”
“But we’ll get new toys?” Logan asked. Now he was kind of liking the idea.
“Yes, but we’ll be helping other kids too.” Cameron wanted to stress the charity part, but he knew they were holding on to the new toys part.
“The kids at the hospital, they don’t have toys?” Kaitlyn asked as she looked around the room.
“Not all of
them can bring toys with them, so the hospital keeps some to give them while they’re getting better.”
Kaitlyn blinked and looked over at a large pile of stuffed animals. Without even a glance at her brothers, she ran over to the pile and began tossing them on the ground as she hunted for a specific toy. After a moment, she pulled out a bright pink unicorn with a long purple mane and hugged it to her chest.
Cameron thought she was going to say they could give that toy away, but the little girl surprised him.
“I want to keep this, but the rest of mine can go to the sick kids.”
“That’s very generous, Kaitlyn,” he said as he moved to kneel in front of the little girl. “But you don’t have to give them all away.” He looked over at the boys and nodded to the pile of stuffies. “Why don’t you guys go through the playroom, and each of you come up with what you would like to donate, and we’ll give those to the sick kids?”
The boys seemed a little more comfortable with that idea, and Kaitlyn nodded in agreement.
It took over an hour, but they went through all the toys. The kids had all decided together to donate even more thaen he’d suggested. The pile was huge, and every toy was in great shape, some looked like they had barely been used.
Cameron was really proud of them. They’d happily and eagerly sorted through their toys and had chosen which ones to give away without grumbling or whining, and the more they’d sorted, the more they’d actually wanted to give away. It had started with giving the toys to get new ones, but it had ended with them wanting other kids to have what they’d enjoyed. It was a wonderful moment.
CAMERON LOADED THE last bag of toys into his car and shoved the door closed. It looked like he’d robbed a toy store, but he’d managed to fit everything the kids had wanted to give away in his car so he would only have to take one trip. He’d called the hospital ahead of time and arranged to make the donation at night since he couldn’t fit all three kids and the toys in the SUV. It would have been great to let them see where their donations were going, but it was a forty-minute drive, and he really didn’t want to make more than one trip.
He’d been working at the house for almost a week and a half and he’d only seen Nathan twice, and the children hadn’t seen him at all. Not even a wave from the hallway.
Cameron knew it wasn’t his business and he was just the nanny, but it was really starting to bother him that Nathan wasn’t at all involved with his kids.
As he drove, Cameron tried to think of a tactful way to bring up the fact that Nathan’s kids needed his presence in their lives. Cameron knew Nathan worked a lot, but he didn’t know what he did, just that he worked out of his home office. He knew Nathan went out some nights when the kids were asleep, which wasn’t a big deal, but he was absent during the day.
Cameron’s father had been very detached, really only caring about him when he accomplished something he could flaunt. Even after his mother had died, his dad had never stepped up and preferred to let his sisters raise him. He’d missed having a real father, and he could see the kids, especially Logan, were dying to have their dad in their lives. It was obvious, and it was the reason they acted out.
There was really no way around it; he would have to talk to Nathan the next time he saw him. If he was fired for intruding, then so be it, as long as Nathan listened.
WHEN HE PULLED INTO the driveway, Cameron was tired. He’d dropped the toys off and then had stopped by his sister Cara’s to say hi. He’d stayed longer then he’d intended and longer then he should have, just having coffee with Cara and her husband, Alex, as he enjoyed their company and got the latest family gossip.
Cameron glanced at his watch as he walked up to the house. It was after midnight, but he needed to talk to Nathan, and it couldn’t wait.
He checked the first floor, but Nathan wasn’t anywhere to be found. He went up to the second floor and glanced over at the master suite. Both doors were closed, and he couldn’t see any lights coming from underneath.
With a sigh, Cameron headed to the library; he would have to find him another time.
He was so distracted he didn’t see the thin strip of light coming from under the closed door of the library. When he opened the door, he was shocked to see the reading lamp was on, and even more surprised to see Nathan standing next to the chaise holding a bunch of books he’d piled on the table to read.
“Oh my God!”
Nathan gave him a bemused smile.
“You scared me,” Cameron scolded as he stepped into the room and closed the door.
“It’s my house,” Nathan pointed out as he picked up another book from the pile and examined it. “Interesting choices,” he mused as he looked through the titles. “Science, modern art, history, fiction, a biography, and a classic.”
“Variety is the spice of life.”
Nathan chuckled and put the books back down on the table. “I suppose it is.”
Nathan’s smile transformed his look. His eyes softened as they twinkled, his face relaxed. and his entire demeanor became friendly and open. Cameron stared at him as though he was transfixed. He couldn’t look away, and he felt a flush move over his skin as Nathan stared back at him. A tingle moved up his spine as Nathan looked him up and down, and when his eyes reached his, there was that look again. The same one he’d given him in the kitchen the night they’d talked.
Nathan suddenly shook his head, breaking the spell as he tore his eyes away.
Cameron blinked and looked away, glad Nathan had looked away first. He honestly didn’t think he would have been able to.
“Well, I’ll leave you to your night,” Nathan said after a pause, his voice a little husky.
“Wait,” Cameron said quickly. They had to talk, but he still had no idea how to bring it up.
“What?”
“I’ve been here for a week and a half.”
“And?”
“I never see you during the day. I mean the kids never see you during the day,” he corrected quickly.
Nathan’s jaw clenched, and his eyes went cold as he stared at Cameron. “And?”
“The kids, they miss you.”
“Really.”
Cameron could sense the change in him instantly. Nathan had gone from smiling and relaxed to standing with his back straight and his jaw tight.
“They’re good kids, but Logan especially needs you. He’s at the age where—”
“He’s at the age where he needs someone to look after him, which is why I pay you,” Nathan cut in tightly.
“But he needs his father.”
“Are you saying I’m not a good father?”
“No. The truth is I don’t know how you are as a father. I’ve never seen you with the kids.”
Nathan opened his mouth to say something, and by the way his eyes flashed Cameron knew he was angry.
“My father was never around,” he hurried on. “I spent my entire childhood trying to impress him. Desperate to get his attention so I could feel like he loved me. He died six years ago, and he never got to know me, and I never got to know him.
“I’m not saying anything about how you are as a father or as a man, but I know what it’s like to not have a father around. It’s not easy on kids.”
“What do you suggest?” Nathan asked after a long pause. His voice was still hard, but the flash of anger had faded from his eyes.
“I understand you work a lot,” he started. “And that I’m here to care for them, but I know they would love it if you could make an effort to do something with them every day.”
“Every day?”
“Nothing big. Read them a story at bedtime, come to the park with them, play in the yard when we’re out there. Even just eat dinner with them. It doesn’t have to take up a whole lot of time. Just show them that you love them and you want to be a part of what they do. I think it will do a world of good for them.”
After a long pause, Nathan nodded.
Cameron didn’t know if that meant he would think about it or tha
t he would do it, but either way, he was taking it as a victory. He still had his job, and he hadn’t been yelled at. He was counting this one as a win.
NATHAN COULDN’T SLEEP.
He’d sat up in his office until well after two in the morning trying to think about anything other than Cameron.
He was still reeling from their last conversation. He hadn’t thought Cameron would be bold enough to tell him that he was being a bad father.
That wasn’t true. He’d never said he was a bad father, just that he was being an absent one.
What he hadn’t told Cameron was how his words rang too true.
He’d spent his entire childhood waiting for his father to step away from his job long enough to notice him. He’d done everything he could to try and please him, to really see him, and to praise him.
Nathan knew he was neglecting his kids and needed to put more effort into them at this age, but the truth was he didn’t know how. He’d spent his own youth alone while his parents took care of themselves. The only person he’d really connected with was Louise, his nanny, but she’d been dismissed when he was twelve.
Louise was the reason he wanted his kids to have a nanny. Not because he didn’t want them around or to raise them, but so he could give them what Louise had given him. He wanted them to have someone’s complete attention. Have someone who only thought about them and did everything for them. He wanted them to have the unconditional love and faith of their nanny like he’d had from Louise.
That’s what he’d hired Cameron to do, but he was different from what he’d expected.
Cameron was distracting; there was no other way to describe him.
He’d wanted an older woman, closer to middle age as Louise had been, but it seemed that middle-aged women didn’t become nannies anymore.
All the girls he’d hired had been nice, but quiet. They’d tried, but they’d all been run out by his kids. He’d never thought of having a male nanny before, but it was kind of perfect.
Cameron was different. He was nice but not afraid to be direct. He definitely wasn’t shy, and he really seemed to care.