by A. T Brennan
Nathan tipped Cameron back, forcing him to sit squarely on his lap as he pressed their bodies flush together. His lips were hard, and his kiss was demanding, and Cameron groaned against his mouth as he felt Nathan’s cock, hard and hot against his thigh.
He was almost dizzy from the onslaught of sensations. All he could do was cling to Nathan and kiss him back as his body tightened and his breaths started to come out in small gasps.
Cameron wanted him. Every kiss, every touch made him want more, and he cried out as Nathan slid his hand up under the bottom of his shirt, his hand teasing the skin on his back. Nathan gripped his hair even tighter, holding his head still as he took control of the kiss. He was showing Cameron how much he wanted him, and it was incredible.
Nathan crushed his body to him and groaned against his lips as Cameron’s hands tangled in his hair. Cameron kissed Nathan back with as much force and passion as he could, wanting to match Nathan and show him how much he was enjoying the moment.
Nathan pulled them back until he was leaning against the couch. There wasn’t a millimeter of space anywhere between them, and Nathan’s strong body felt both hard and soft against him.
Nathan’s hand slid out from under his shirt and moved to cup his ass, squeezing the globe with his strong hand.
Suddenly Cameron’s senses came back to him, and he pulled back. Nathan was staring at him in shock, and Cameron panicked.
He shook his head and slid off Nathan’s lap. It took him a second to get his footing, and the urge to run was overwhelming.
Before Nathan could move or say something, Cameron backed away,
“I’m sorry,” he said quickly as he rushed out the door and ran towards the stairs.
NATHAN LAY IN HIS BED, staring up at the ceiling. He shouldn’t have done that. He never should have kissed Cameron. He was his kid’s nanny. Nathan was his boss, and Cameron lived in his house. It was wrong on so many levels and unethical on a few more, but he’d forgotten all of that the moment his lips had touched Cameron’s.
He could still feel Cameron’s tight body against his, his warm skin under his hands, and his soft lips kissing his. He could still smell his slightly spicy shampoo, and he could still see the desire in Cameron’s eyes as he’d looked at him.
Every touch had inflamed his desire for Cameron. Every sigh and moan that had escaped Cameron’s lips had increased Nathan’s passion for him. Every kiss had made him want more, and he’d almost lost himself in the moment.
He didn’t know what would have happened if Cameron hadn’t pulled away. He hadn’t even been thinking as his hand had moved from Cameron’s back to his ass. He’d just needed to touch him, to feel him. He’d wanted Cameron so badly that every other thought had been driven from his mind and he’d been lost in the moment, and in him.
Nathan shook his head, trying to force the feelings and memories out of his mind as he rolled over. His heart was pounding, and his breathing was a little labored. It had been hours since their kiss, and he still couldn’t calm his body down.
It was the first time he’d touched another man romantically since he’d lost Jason, and he hadn’t even hesitated.
Giving up, Nathan swung his legs over the side of his bed. There was no way he was going to be able to get to sleep, not for a long time. He might as well get up and do something to distract himself.
That couldn’t happen again. He would have to stay away from Cameron unless the kids were there. Being alone with him could prove too much for his willpower, and he might cross a line that could never be uncrossed.
Chapter Six
After the incident in the sitting room, Cameron made a promise to himself that he would do everything he could to keep his distance from Nathan. He wasn’t worried about Nathan not being able to control himself; he was worried that he wouldn’t.
He’d never felt such a strong attraction to anyone before, and he didn’t know what to do about it. Nathan was his boss, and he was his nanny. Being involved with Nathan in any way outside of being employer and employee was wrong, but he couldn’t seem to change his feelings.
Every time he saw Nathan, he felt a flutter in his stomach and a flush would move over his skin as he remembered their kiss. Cameron would relive what his lips had felt like against his, how Nathan’s strong body had enveloped him, and how every touch had driven his desire to levels he’d never felt before.
He was the only man who’d ever affected Cameron this way, and he had a hard time remembering why he needed to stay away from him whenever Nathan’s eyes locked on his.
He had to put some distance between them so he could sort out his feelings and get over whatever it was that was making him crazy. He needed to get control of himself so he didn’t give in to his desires and do or say something he would regret.
STAYING AWAY FROM NATHAN wasn’t that difficult.
He seemed to be of the same mind, and for the next week, Cameron didn’t see him at all except for supper time.
Nathan still came down, and he would spend time with the kids while he cooked, and he still ate with them, but that was it.
Things weren’t weird or uncomfortable between them. Nathan wasn’t acting any differently towards him than he had before their kiss, and Cameron didn’t think he was. He was trying to reset the clock and erase what had happened between them, and Nathan seemed to be doing the same.
A part of Cameron was grateful, but there was still a small part of him that was disappointed.
The kiss had been a mistake. It never should have happened, and he needed to forget it ever had. But every time he looked at Nathan, every time he glanced over at him, Cameron was reminded of how wonderful that kiss had been.
During the day it was hard to not think of him. When he was in the same room with Nathan, it was really hard, but when he was alone at night, it was damn near impossible.
Cameron had never had a particularly active fantasy life. Elaborate scenarios or replaying the intimate moments in his life had never really been his thing, but for some reason, he couldn’t stop fantasizing about Nathan or reliving their kiss in his head.
He’d be sitting in the library trying to read, and suddenly Cameron would remember the look Nathan had given him the moment before their lips had touched. How Nathan’s hands had felt against his skin, and how much his body had reacted to his touch.
Lying in bed was the worst time. It was as though his brain would go into overdrive and he’d start thinking about how it would feel to Nathan’s larger body covering his. To feel their skin rub together as Nathan thrust inside him. He imagined how Nathan might taste, and what it would feel like to share the kind of deep kisses his body and mind craved.
Cameron was so distracted by his thoughts, it was bordering on ridiculous.
He was fine when he was busy and when he had the kids with him. Even when Nathan was in the same room as them, he was able to focus on cooking and getting through the meal. He could ignore the memories and his fantasies, but when he was alone, it was impossible.
Cameron wanted Nathan in a way that he’d never wanted anyone. He wasn’t innocent, he’d been with men and had boyfriends in the past, but it had never been like this.
He’d never truly lusted after anyone before. He’d never physically craved someone the way he craved Nathan, and Cameron had never wanted to be with someone as much as he wanted to be with Nathan, and he couldn’t explain it.
All he knew was that he was in lust with his boss, and it was getting harder and harder to ignore what he was feeling.
NATHAN WAS DOING HIS best to stay away from Cameron, but he was having a hard time remembering why he needed to.
He holed himself up in his office during the day, trying to work, and at night he would either go out or hide in his office so he didn’t risk running into him around the house.
He couldn’t forget about their kiss.
Nathan had had his fair share of kissing partners before Jason, and he’d had kisses hotter and more involved than the one he and
Cameron had shared, but Cameron was the only one he could think about.
There was something about him that drew Nathan in. He was almost the exact opposite of what he normally went for, but Cameron was on his mind, and Nathan couldn’t shake him.
When he wasn’t looking at Cameron, he was thinking about him, and even when he was trying to hide, he still found ways to see him. He would glance out the window of his study while Cameron was playing with the kids outside, just to catch a glimpse of him. He would pause when he walked by the library, picturing Cameron lounging on his chaise as he read one of the many books he always had on the go. He even found himself stopping randomly during the day and wondering where Cameron was or what he was doing, and if he was even sparing him a second thought.
When Cameron was with the kids, it was easier to stay away. He could go down for dinner while he cooked and spend time with his kids, and he could get through the meal by focusing on what they were saying instead of letting his focus shift to Cameron.
The nights were the hardest. He tried to work, but he’d be so distracted he wouldn’t get anything accomplished. He tried to watch TV or put on a movie, but his mind would wander, and he wouldn’t be able to follow the story.
He went out to a bar or a pub to try and forget him and focus on something else, anything else. He met a few men who’d shown interest, but even if Cameron hadn’t been in the picture, he would have still turned them down. His life was complicated enough without bringing someone else into it.
He wasn’t over Jason, Nathan knew that. But he was finally getting to a place where he could think about other men in a sexual way without feeling guilty or like he was betraying his late husband. It had taken a long time, but he finally felt like the Nathan he’d been before he’d become a widower.
He didn’t know if Cameron had anything to do with it, but he had to admit that in the weeks Cameron had been around the house had come alive again. His kids were happy and smiling, and they were connecting as a family again. He’d fucked up by retreating into himself, and he knew he still had a lot of work to do to rebuild his relationship with his kids and form a new family unit, but this was the first time since they’d said goodbye to Jason that Nathan felt ready.
Cameron was changing things, and Nathan was so grateful Cameron had come into their lives and was bringing them back together.
CAMERON WAS RESTLESS.
He’d put the kids to bed, and he knew he should go to sleep, but he was wired.
He hadn’t slept well for nearly a week, and it was starting to catch up to him, especially considering how busy he was all day with the kids. He was exhausted every night, but when he was alone, it was as though his mind would spin out of control, and there was no way he could shut it down.
For some reason, it was even worse right then. He was going crazy. His mind was spiraling, and he couldn’t stop it. His body was tired, but he was so restless he couldn’t sit still.
He’d gone through the library twice, trying to find something to occupy his mind for more than a few minutes but had quickly given up. He couldn’t focus enough to watch a movie, and he didn’t feel safe going for a walk at this hour. He needed to do something, but he was at a loss.
Giving up, he wandered downstairs and went through the impressive collection of movies in the media room, hoping that one of them would catch his attention. After going through the titles twice, he sighed and left the room.
Cameron made his way into the kitchen and paused as he looked around. He wasn’t really hungry, but he was a bit thirsty. He pulled a bottle of flavored water out of the fridge and went to get a glass. He poured a small amount of the water into the glass, then put the bottle back in the fridge as he took a few sips of the water and headed toward the cooking island so he had something to lean on.
“If that’s scotch, then you’re a man after my own heart.”
Cameron nearly jumped out of his skin and whirled around, almost spilling his drink all over himself.
“Sorry.” Nathan grinned as he pushed off the doorframe he’d been leaning against. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“You didn’t,” Cameron said a little shakily as he put his drink down and checked to make sure that he hadn’t actually spilled any on himself.
“So you didn’t just jump half a foot?” Nathan asked with a teasing smile as he came up to the island counter and stood on the other side of it.
“Coincidence.” He grinned and tried not to stare at Nathan.
He looked incredible. His black shirt clung to his body, and his dark jeans looked like they’d been painted on. His blue eyes were sparkling with laughter, and his hair was still damp at the ends from his shower. He looked amazing, and Cameron could feel his body flush as he drank in the sight of him. After a moment, Cameron cleared his throat and looked away, trying to fight the blush that was creeping onto his cheeks.
Nathan was able to keep his smile casual, but he couldn’t help looking Cameron up and down. He was wearing a pair of black shorts that were tight enough he could clearly see the curve of his ass and the bulge of his cock. His navy blue shirt clung to him perfectly, and his hair looked a little messier than usual. It almost looked like he’d rolled out of bed after a thorough fucking, and that thought made Nathan’s dick go from barely hard to painfully erect.
He knew being in the kitchen with Cameron was dangerous. He’d come downstairs to get a beer and watch a movie. When he’d seen Cameron standing at the kitchen island, Nathan’s first instinct had been to keep walking and pretend he’d never seen him, but when he’d taken a second look, he’d been drawn to Cameron, and he’d gone into the kitchen.
He should leave. He should just grab his beer, smile, and excuse himself, but he couldn’t. Talking and spending time alone together was dangerous, but he couldn’t seem to make his body move.
“Just water,” Cameron said with a smile as he seemed to regain his composure.
“Not a big drinker?”
“Not my house.” He grinned as he drank down his water in two gulps and put the glass down.
“Is that the only thing stopping you?” Nathan asked teasingly as he leaned on the counter.
“That, and the fact that there are three kids upstairs I’m responsible for,” he said pointedly.
“Ah, that.”
“Are you heading out?”
“I wasn’t planning on it. I was planning on grabbing a drink and watching a movie.”
“Oh, well, don’t let me interrupt you.”
“I’d much rather have company,” Nathan said before he could think twice. “It’s been a while since we talked.”
“True.” Cameron nodded. “I seem to recall how I dumped most of my life story on you the last time we had a conversation. Maybe this time I’ll try to keep the overshare to myself.”
“You didn’t overshare. If you’re uncomfortable that you told me those things—”
“I’m not,” he cut in. “I’m just not used to having a lot of people to talk to.”
“You don’t have friends?”
“Not really.” He sighed. “I was popular enough in high school, always had kids to play with in elementary school, but in the past few years, I’ve kind of drifted away from everyone.”
“Why is that?”
“They’re all moving on. Getting married, a few have kids, some moved for work...then there’s me, the ‘manny.’ It’s hard to meet new people with this job, and I get a lot of judgment for what I do.”
“That sounds hard,” he said as he looked at Cameron. He could see that he was trying to use humor to cover the fact that he was hurting, and he wanted to help him feel better.
“It is what it is... what about you? You must have friends coming out of the woodwork,” Cameron asked suddenly, his voice taking on a teasing tone.
“Not so much.” Nathan shook his head. “It’s been a while since I really had friends.”
“Really? But you go out all the time.”
“Alone,” he a
dmitted. “When I got married, I lost a lot of my single friends, and when Jason died, I lost most of our married friends, and the few others I had drifted away while I was lost in grief. Being a single dad and a widower doesn’t really go with lots of friends and hanging out with the boys. I go out to get out. I work from home, and sometimes I feel like this house is my whole world. I go out to remind myself that there is a world out there that doesn’t revolve around my work and my kids.”
“I get that.” Cameron smiled. “When I was a live-out nanny, it wasn’t so isolating. I would show up in the mornings and leave at night, so I got out every day. I got to sleep in my own bed and had some weekends off, so I had time to do whatever I wanted.”
“Do you not feel like you have enough time off here?”
“That wasn’t what I meant.” Cameron shook his head. “I just meant that I understand how living where you work can make you forget the outside world sometimes.”
Nathan nodded slowly. “Your sisters, you’re close with them?”
“Very. They pretty much raised me.”
“And you have how many? Three?”
“Four,” he corrected. “Cara, Cassidy, Cynthia and Celeste.”
“And Cameron.” He grinned. “I detect a theme.”
“My parents weren’t that creative. My father’s name was Christopher, and my mother was Catherine, so I guess they decided to just go with it.”
Nathan laughed and shook his head. “I bet monogramming gifts isn’t a big thing in your family.”
“Not at all.” Cameron laughed. “We all have the same initials. Even our middle names are all the same initial, so it would be pointless.”
“Your middle names too?”
“Yup.” he laughed and shook his head. “My father was Christopher Michael; my mother was Catherine Marjorie. We’re Cara Margaret, Cassidy Michelle, Cynthia Marie, Celeste Maureen, and Cameron Matthew.”
“So seven people, all with the initials C.M.A?” he asked with a laugh.