by Alexa Rynn
“The problem is that you guys don’t think I can handle my own when I’m perfectly capable of doing just that.” I stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and turned toward him. “Take a look at me, Silk, I’m not the same little girl you met back then. It’s different now, I’ve grown up, Danger and you are just late to the party.”
Some guy took that opportunity to pop out of the bushes behind me and throw his body into me. I started freaking out, flapping my arms around my head like a crazy person.
Silk laughed, pulling the guy off of me, and shoving him off down the street. “Relax, it's only drunk Roy,” he said, referring to one of the neighborhood drunks.
I smoothed my dress out, trying to regain my balance.
“Now,” Silk said, smirking as we started walking again, “what was it you were saying about being grown?”
I scowled and shoved him as hard as I could, but he just laughed, ushering me further into the darkness toward home.
The smell of weed drifted after me into our apartment as I closed the door behind me and locked it. The people next door loved smoking in the middle of the hallway for some reason as opposite to their balcony off the back of their apartment. I normally didn’t mind it, but on this particular night they had a lot of friends over and the smell was consuming the entire hallway, making it easy to drift into our unit whenever the door got opened.
I had been surprised that Silk hadn’t insisted on staying and making sure I didn’t go anywhere for the rest of the night, but he had hurried me inside so he could be on his way. I had considered leaving for a split second but I saw Silk talking to a few of his boys outside and I suspected he was telling them to inform him or Danger if they saw me leave the building. Like I said before, Danger had eyes everywhere.
I knew no one would be home now. Danger’s dad was away for the weekend on a delivery and my mom worked nights at the local hospital. We didn’t have a lot of money, but I guess for what was considered a lot in this neighborhood we did. It was rare for anyone around here to get married and stay married, which is why it had surprised me that my mom and Danger’s dad had lasted for as long as they had. Seven years without any cheating or deaths was like a lifetime in these parts. If it was up to Danger or the rest of my stepbrothers we would all be in a fancy house across town but my mother and stepfather wanted nothing to do with the club or their life and that included taking a dime from them.
The only reason Danger still lived at home was to keep an eye on me.
Lucky me.
I pulled my phone out of my small purse and glanced at the screen, a bunch of texts from my girls asking where I had gone, and one from Danger asking if I had gotten home safe.
I responded to him right away.
No, I didn’t. I’m out doing me.
My phone vibrated in my hand within seconds.
LOL good one
I sighed and hit respond.
I hate you
Another vibration.
Love you too
I tossed the phone on the sofa, annoyed by it and grabbed a change of clothes out of the laundry basket that was sitting on top of the end table. I considered keeping my dress on until Danger got back from the club just to spite him but decided against it. The dress was pretty uncomfortable and short, no use in putting myself through any more torture for the night. My girl had let me borrow it since I had nothing else to wear for a night out, she was much smaller than me and the purple fabric made me look like an oversized balloon.
I wrinkled it up into a small ball and tossed it into the basket, reminding myself to return it to her later. I pulled on some sweat pants and one of Danger’s comfy t-shirts. If he wanted to be an asshole then I was going to wear whatever I wanted of his. Deserved him right for the way he had acted tonight. Demanding I leave the club then getting one of his brothers to usher me out; so ridiculous on his part.
I picked up my phone that had been lighting up nonstop since I tossed it aside a few minutes before and took a look at the massive amounts of texts that had flooded my screen.
I felt myself gasp.
There had been a shooting at the club tonight. The club I had just been at.
That must have been why Danger wanted me to go home so bad.
I lay in bed for hours waiting for Danger to get home from the club. I couldn’t believe that he hadn’t told me what the hell was about to go down in that club. I mean; I had friends who were there. I could have got them out. Luckily I had heard from all of them since the news broke and I knew nothing had happened to any of them but it was still the principal of the manner.
And why the hell had he stayed if he knew what was about to go down? Why hadn’t he just left with me to make sure that he stayed safe? Suddenly Silk’s wide eyes when he had seen me in the club earlier that night made sense. And so did the way he had left so quick after walking me back from the club. Like there was no time to waste.
But if they both knew about it why had they stayed anyway? Unless they had been involved directly… I didn’t want to think that but it was the only thing I kept coming back to. It was the only thing that seemed to add up in my mind. I had wanted to text Danger right when I had heard and gone off on him but I figured the element of surprise would be better so I waited patiently for him to come home.
Finally around 3 a.m. I heard the door to our apartment open up and a pack of heavy footsteps drifted inside. I could smell weed drift into my open bedroom door right away and I snapped my mouth shut, not wanting any of the smoke to get into my lungs. I had tried smoking once a few years ago but never really got into it; it had never appealed to me.
“Bro, I’m telling you she was a little freak. Did you see that ass? She bad,” a male voice said, howling into the empty room. I froze when I realized who it belonged to. Jay lived in the apartment below us with his girlfriend, and him and Danger had been hanging together ever since we moved into this building a few years ago.
Out of all of the friends Danger had, Jay was the one who rubbed me the wrong way the most. He was loud and rude. Always talking about the newest girl he had cheated on his girlfriend with. I had never heard him refer to a girl as anything other than a bitch or a hoe in his life. He was always high, and I suspected on something more than weed even though I had no proof. The thing that made me the most uncomfortable was the way he looked at me when Danger wasn’t looking. Like he was undressing me with his eyes.
I really didn’t want to confront Danger with Jay there but I was so mad that I felt like I didn’t have much of a choice. Plus, if I didn’t go out now then Jay would stay here all night being drunk, loud, and obnoxious just like he had so many other nights.
I jumped out of bed with a newfound confidence and marched into the living room just as Danger was sitting down on the couch. He was laughing at something Jay said but stopped when he saw me. There was blunt on the table in front of them and Danger picked it up quickly, shoving it toward Jay. I rolled my eyes. He was so ridiculous, always trying to shield me from things that I had already seen before.
“Why are you still up?” he demanded, looking me up and down.
“Why am I still up?” I laughed. “I’ll be the one asking the questions here!”
He raised his eyebrows at me.
“What the hell happened tonight?” I demanded.
“Whoa, talk like a lady,” Jay said, turning his attention to me.
“Shut up,” Danger told him and Jay snapped his mouth shut. “Kat, go back into your room and go to sleep. I’m not discussing this with you tonight.” He turned his attention back to Jay like he’d already ridden me off.
I stomped my foot hard, causing the few pictures we had on the shelf in our hallway to rattle back and forth. “No! I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what the fuck happened tonight! What did you do, Danger? Did you shoot someone?”
His face flashed with anger right away, his eyes burning through me with a fire I had never seen before. He kept my gaze for a second, sending a chill up and d
own my spine. “Jay, you better go.”
“Ah, bro, I thought we were gonna roll up. I got that good tree-“
“No,” Danger said, not taking his gaze away from me. “Go.”
Jay let out a little sound of annoyance but left without further objection, knowing better than to question what Danger said. When the door slammed shut behind him Danger’s eyes are still on mine. “Do you have any idea what would happen to you if you were anyone else asking me that questions? Do you have any idea what I would do to you?”
“Kill me?” I challenged.
He picked up the table that sat in the middle of the room and turned it over in one swift motion, sending glass flying all over the place. The rage that filled his eyes was like nothing I’d ever seen. “Shut your mouth, Katherine. You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
I knew I was on a bad path, that he was already on edge, but something inside of me couldn’t let it go. “I don’t care! You should have told me! I had friends there! What if something would have happened to one of them?”
He laughed loudly. “Is that what this is about? Those annoying ass sluts you chill with? They’re fine.”
“They aren’t annoying! Or sluts!” I shouted, matching his tone.
“They don’t care about you, they aren’t loyal. You don’t know anything about the real world, Kat. Go back to bed before you piss me off even more than you already have.”
“Did you shoot someone?” I demanded again.
He took a few steps toward me and smashed one of the vases that my mom had sitting on the table next to the T.V. More glass went flying everywhere. I rolled my eyes. He was always breaking things when he was mad. The cops had come a few times over it, hopefully, that wouldn’t be the case tonight.
“No, Kat. I didn’t fucking shoot anyone. Who do you think you are even asking me something like that? What the hell is wrong with you? Got me all heated. Fighting with your crazy ass like you’re my girlfriend or something. Get out of here with that bullshit.” His tatted arms bulged harder out of his body, allowing his veins to pop out.
“I don’t care!” I screamed. “How am I supposed to know what the hell is going on with you? You think I don’t see the guns in your room or hear the drug talk? Or the way people look at you like they’re scared of you? I see it! I see it all, Danger! I’m not a stupid little kid anymore and you just never talk about it!”
Danger’s eyes looked like they were about to bulge out of his head and he burned his face into mine with a look of shock and anger. “That’s what a fucking real man does. He doesn’t go around flashing his business and bragging about shit to the women in his life or to his family. No, I handle mine. You’ll never meet another brother like me out here! Ever! I’m one of the realest people you will ever meet.” He stomped by where I was standing and headed toward the door of the apartment, knocking a chair over as he went.
“Go ahead! Leave! Walk away! It’s what you always do! You don’t care about me!” I shouted after him, hurt by his actions and the whole night in general. God, why did I get so emotional and irrational when it came to him? Why did I have to turn into such a crazy and emotional mess?
He swung the door open and stopped to look back at me. His beautiful and intense features burned through me like fire. “I’m leaving because I do care and because if I stay I’m sure to say something I regret.”
He slammed the door shut behind him and I felt the tears start.
I couldn’t sleep, no matter how hard I tried. My pulse wouldn’t stop racing no matter how many times I tried to control it. I keep getting out of bed to look out the window at the street below us, thinking that maybe I’d see Danger somewhere down there in the midst of people. I wanted to go and look for him myself but I knew better than to go outside on the street alone at this time of night.
I had tried to call him a few times but got no answer. I hated when we ended up fighting and saying a bunch of bullshit that we didn’t mean. I knew I pushed his buttons and made him angry, but he did the same to me. Still, this blowout had been pretty bad. The worse one in a while, I knew he hated when I would ask about club business, but it was hard for me to help it. Especially on nights like tonight when something real had gone down.
I just hated the way he treated me like a little girl still. He refused to see what was happening right before his very eyes. I appreciated that he wanted to protect me but he was going to have to let me learn on my own one day, I wasn’t as sheltered to it as he thought. The things I had seen might surprise him. Still, I couldn’t stop myself from crying since he had walked out and slammed the door in my face, leaving me all alone.
It was like that every time he left me. As annoyed as I got with him and as much as I told myself I hated him the truth was a different story. The truth was that I had an attachment to him I couldn’t quite define and when I wasn’t around it I missed it in a way. I didn’t miss the secrets he carried around or how he treated me like a baby, but I did miss his presence. I did miss the feeling of comfort that came over me when I was around him. It was one I had never experienced with any other boy in my life.
I looked outside one more time and then creep slowly up the hall toward his bedroom. I creak the door open slowly, peeking inside. I knew I shouldn’t be in here, but something about it made me feel better. I tiptoed over to his bed, pulling back the covers and climbing inside. I pulled them up to my chin and let the warmth drift over my body.
I wasn’t sure how long I lay there, staring at his ceiling before I heard him come home. It could have been minutes, or it could have been hours. I just knew that it was long enough for the sun to start to rise somewhere far off in the distance.
He stopped in the doorway when he saw me in his bed and I met his eyes. His handsome features were magnified in the morning light and I felt my heart start to speed up in my chest at the sight of him. I studied his face and I knew that he had forgiven me. I knew any anger that had come over him earlier was gone now. He was just as ready to make up as I was.
He sighed and unzipped the leather jacket he had on, pulling it off to reveal his inked arms and muscles bulging out of his t-shirt. He tossed it on his dresser and made his way over to the bed, pulling the covers back and crawling in next to me.
I found my heart starting to speed up at his closeness. How could I find someone so annoying and sexy at the same time? Neither of us said anything for a second; we just lay face to face taking one another in. I’d crept into his room before when I couldn’t sleep. It felt safe to me like nothing could go wrong if I was next to him. He might not have been willing to see me as an adult but he did always protect me, I would give him that.
“Katherine,” he whispered, using my full name.
“I’m sorry,” I said, nudging myself closer to him. “I should have never asked you that. I should have never accused you of that or talked to you the way I did.”
“I’m sorry, too,” he said. “There’s no excuse for me to come at you that way, you just always manage to get under my skin in the worst way. There are things you don’t understand, things that don’t make much sense even to me. How can I explain things to you if I haven’t figured them out myself yet?”
I moved even closer to him, hating myself for needing to feel his closeness. “But you have to understand some things. You can tell me some things.”
He shook his head in the darkness of his room. “No, I can’t. You still don’t get it after all this time. I keep secrets from you guys to protect you. It’s better that way.”
“Maybe,” I said. “I just wish you wouldn’t treat me like such a child all the time. I’m 18 now. I’ve grown up, in case you haven’t noticed.”
He smiled and reached up to push my hair out of my face. “Trust me, I’ve noticed, and so have my brothers.”
I felt a thrill shoot through me at the compliment. It could have been me but I swore a hint of jealousy flashed through his eyes. “Jealous?” I challenged.
“Don’t be cute,” he
said with a smirk. “We’re fine, go to bed.”
I sighed and moved myself closer to him, trying to nuzzle deeper into his smooth skin.
And that’s when I felt it.
How hard he was through his pants.
Danger smiled sheepishly at me. “Sorry, it’s morning.”
He moved himself away from me a little bit, to my disappointment.
“It’s okay,” I whispered.
Something about the fact that he was turned on and such a short distance away from me pleased me. It made me want to please him, it made me want to show him just how grown up I really was.
I moved myself closer to him again so his hard member was pressing up against me. He raised his eyebrows at me, clearly wondering what the hell was wrong with me.
But I didn’t care.
When I was younger I would think about the girls he hooked up with. About how beautiful they were to get him that excited, to get him to want them that bad, but I never thought I would be one of them. I never thought I would be this close to him when he was turned on in any way.
Before I could lose my nerve I took my hand and slipped it under the covers. I was just about to rub my fingers over the tip that was sticking straight up in his pants when he grabbed my hand, pulling it away.
“Kat,” he said. “Stop.”
I pulled out of his grasp and rolled my eyes. “I just want to feel it. It’s not a big deal.”
“Yes it is,” he told me.
But this time when I reached for it again, he didn’t stop me and I started rubbing it slowly through his pants. I took my fingers and massaged the tip of it back and forth. Then I took my fingers and ran them up and down the length of it, slow at first and then faster.
I felt it start to rise even more in his pants and a sense of satisfaction washed over me. I pretend that I’m just rubbing it and in the process pop the button of his jeans open, slowly working the zipper down with each stroke of my hand. By the time he realized what I had done my hand was already inside of his pants.