by SM Soto
“What are you doing, Natalia? Aaron Cox? Seriously of all guys, you choose Aaron?” The anger is evident on his face and my fists clench. How dare he think he has a say in who I talk to? That’s just rich.
“Are you fucking kidding me? After all this time, this is what you have to say to me,” I shout incredulously. “And I can talk to whoever the fuck I want, Luke. You made sure of that,” I remind him through narrowed slits. My breaths puff out in short bursts of air through my fuming. Oddly, it feels good to be angry.
“He’s not good enough for you, Natalia!” he shouts getting in my face. I cower back at his tone, trying to escape his proximity.
“Oh, but you are? Is that what this is, Luke?” I ask with raised brows. “You see me talking to another guy and now all of a sudden you’re interested and want to claim your property, right? Well, fuck you!” I summon all my strength and shove his rock-solid chest. He doesn’t even budge.
“You don’t get to tell me who’s good for me or who isn’t.” I stab my finger into his chest. “You don’t even get to talk to me. Ever!” I shout, close to tears.
“Natalia….” His voice is pained. “He’s not who you think he is. He’s bad news, Babygirl.”
“Don’t call me that!”
“Please. I’m trying to protect you here,” he pleads his case. I might’ve once fallen for the puppy dog look he’s giving me right now, but not now, not after everything that has happened.
I roll my eyes. “I don’t need your protection with him, Luke. I could’ve used it with you though. Nothing could’ve prepared me for the damage you’ve done.” I watch in satisfaction as he flinches at my words. “So, you think protecting me now makes it all better?” I ask, shoving at his chest again. “It doesn’t. Not by a long shot. You’re just like the rest, and that’s what hurts the most.” I shove against him some more.
“You disgust me,” I spit, feeling the tears clog my throat. “I don’t ever want to see you again, Luke Caldwell, so stay the fuck away from me. And get out of my life.” That’s all I manage to say before my voice cracks.
Luke’s eyes look pained as he reaches out for me, but I snatch my arm away before he can touch me. A warm hand wraps around my waist from behind and I’m pulled into a hard body. I shift my gaze to Aaron who’s glaring daggers at Luke. The animosity between the two radiates off them in waves.
This is not how I imagined my day going.
Luke looks like he’s barely restraining himself. His fists clench and unclench repeatedly, the veins in his forearms bulging.
“There a problem here?” Aaron asks Luke gruffly. Luke’s eyes narrow, and he gives Aaron what can only be described as a death glare.
“This is how you want to do this then, Cox?” Luke’s voice is calm, but I know he’s anything but, he looks like he’s about to blow a gasket at any second.
“Stay the fuck away from my girl, Caldwell. I’m sure there’s a long line of bitches elsewhere anyway.”
My body tenses. His girl? When did that happen?
My eyes dart to Aaron in surprise. I’ve never heard him speak to anyone that way. I feel like I’m missing a bigger piece of the picture here, I just can’t figure out what it is. Aaron and Luke continue glowering at each other, nose to nose, until a breathless Drew finally drags Luke away. My brows pinch together as Aaron walks with me to our class.
I clear my throat, gaining Aaron’s attention, and he looks at me with the same sweet expression that I’m used to seeing. Geez, this dude is mercurial.
“So, umm, I just kinda wanted to make sure we’re clear on something.” Nervousness lines my voice. “You know we’re not together right, Aaron? I mean, I like you. I think you’re a really nice and cool guy, but I’m just not there yet. I just want to see where this friendship takes us.”
Aarons face shutters and his jaw clenches for a brief second. He forces a small smile. “No worries, beautiful. I just said that to get him away from you. I saw you pushing him, so I figured you didn’t want him around you.” He shrugs like it’s the most obvious reason he did it.
I mentally kick myself. Of course, that’s why he did it.
I smile at him in relief.
“Okay. Good. Are we still hanging after class?” I ask with raised brows.
“Of course.” He smiles, lightly pinching my chin in between his fingers. I’m hit with a sudden sense of Deja vu, with my chin pinched lightly between his fingers—the gesture doesn’t sit well with me. I’m immediately taken back to the memory of me as a little girl walking home from school. I was easily seven, maybe eight years old when a car pulled up beside me. There was an older man inside wearing glasses and a hat so I couldn’t see his face very well. He asked me if I wanted to go for a ride with him to pick out some candies for his daughter who was at home. I won’t lie and pretend I wasn’t interested. I stopped and considered the offer when I should’ve knew better. For as long as I can remember, stranger danger was drilled into my brain, but that didn’t matter when candy was involved. So, when the man got out of the car and kneeled beside me, lightly pinching my chin in between his fingers, I made up my mind. When he winked at me, I knew something about the man was off. The growing knot in my stomach was my first clue. When Aaron winked at me, I got that same uneasy feeling in my gut, and now with the other gesture, I just can’t help but feel like something’s…off.
Shaking my head, I smile it off. Throughout the rest of the class, I sit next to Aaron, wondering why the hell that small gesture makes me feel like it did when I was kid. I chalk it up to my run-in with Luke and blame my strange feelings on him. I try to focus, I really do, but after everything that happened earlier, my brain feels like it is completely fried. Everything was going well before Luke barged into my life, sending my world upside down, again. Damn him.
“So, what did you want to eat?” I ask Aaron as we exit the class together. He shrugs, looking down at me.
“Whatever you want. Are you craving anything right now?” His response makes me smile, settling some of the unease I’ve felt since earlier. His response is always the same, always making sure I’m the one who chooses the food so I’m satisfied. Very thoughtful. My phone buzzes in my hand, I swipe across the screen when I see it’s from Sam.
Sam: Food before our shift?
I type back a quick response.
Natalia: I’m with Aaron, is that ok?
Sam: Who?
I stifle a laugh, internally rolling my eyes.
Natalia: Want to just meet at the B&G?
Sam: See ya
“So?” Aaron’s impatient voice brings me back to the present, prompting me to put my phone away.
“Sorry about that. How do you feel about having lunch at CJ’s Bar & Grille? I work there so it would be easier if I could eat then get ready for my shift. And is it okay that my friend tags along?” I ask as we head to my car. Aaron smiles tightly.
“Yeah. Sure. I’ll meet you there.” He bends, popping a quick kiss on my cheek, and I freeze. I shouldn’t feel uncomfortable that a guy just kissed me. It was only on the cheek, but still. I’m starting to worry that Aaron has the wrong idea about us. I mean, I just got my freaking heart broken, and I’m not interested in going for round two any time soon. Aaron turns around and heads toward his car like nothing happened, leaving me standing completely speechless. I shake myself out of it and head to the Bar and Grille, hoping I haven’t made a mistake befriending Aaron.
***
“I don’t like him,” Sam says seriously once Aaron is out of ear shot. “The guy looks like a fucking villain out of a cheesy eighties movie.” I swing my eyes to hers and my face falls.
“Why not? He’s a really nice guy, Sam.” I don’t have the slightest clue why she doesn’t like him. Aaron is such a sweetheart. He was awesome company throughout our meal before I started my shift. Sam’s eyes are still narrowed on the door Aaron just went out of.
“I just didn’t get a good vibe from him. There’s something off about him, Natalia. Yeah, h
e’s cute, but I don’t know…I just don’t like him.”
I scoff. “Well that really clears it up, Samantha. Such great reasoning.”
“Hey,” she scolds. “You wanted my honest opinion on the guy so there you have it. I don’t like him, and that coming from your best friend who has come across a dick load of shady guys, I think that’s really saying something. But if you honestly need a better reason, I’ll give you a few. For starters, he’s either really boring for a frat guy, or he’s lying. Two, I don’t like the way he looks at you. He doesn’t stare at you like a normal guy should. He was looking at you like you were the goddam prey. It was…unsettling.” She curls her lip in disdain. “Three whenever the topic was about him, he skipped to one of us which is fishy. It’s like he doesn’t want us to know much about him. Four, he stumbled over a few of the answers to my questions, which tells me he’s a fucking liar, which brings me back to number one—cue the lies.” She waves her hands in a voila gesture.
I roll my eyes. “Okay so let me get this straight—just because he’s a frat guy who doesn’t party a lot, doesn’t like talking about himself, and doesn’t answer your questions correctly—that justifies you not liking him?”
“Don’t forget the way he looks at you. That’s the major one right there. Should’ve said that first.” She snaps her fingers and ooh’s. “If you really want another opinion, ask Aliza. She met him for a few seconds between her stops,” Sam offers with a raised brow.
“Whatever. Bring her here then,” I relent. Sam rubs her hands together with a diabolical smile.
“Ohio!” Sam shouts loudly in the restaurant, gaining everyone’s attention. I reach across the table and slap her in the arm.
“Seriously!” I scold, through narrowed eyes. “Are you forgetting this is a restaurant?”
Sam gets another slap in the opposite arm, this time from Aliza.
“Would you shut up, Samantha! Now everyone’s staring!” Aliza hisses angrily. I can’t hold in my laugh because I love watching Aliza get angry.
“Sorry, but this is serious business,” Sam says, gaining Aliza’s immediate attention.
“Alright what’s up?” Aliza asks with a raised brow.
“What did you think of Natalia’s new friend Aaron? And tell the fucking truth! Did you like him or not?”
Aliza darts her gaze to me quickly and chews on her bottom lip. She lets out a long sigh. “Okay honestly, I didn’t really like him. There was just something about him that gave me the willies.” Aliza winces. “I’m sorry Natalia, I know he’s the first guy after Luke but…maybe you’re trying to replace Luke with Aaron without really paying attention to the details.”
My face falls and I slouch in my seat.
“So you guys really don’t like him then?” I ask.
Sam and Aliza exchange a look and shake their heads no. I groan. Dammit, Luke Caldwell.
“I gotta get back to work guys,” Aliza says.
“Oh, shut it Ohio. What’s CJ gonna do? Fire you? The most he’ll do is give you a spanking behind closed doors and deny you an orgasm.” Sam rolls her eyes and Aliza turns beet red. I burst out laughing because it’s a true story.
“I told you guys that in confidence,” she hisses before spinning on her heel away from us.
Sam and I continue howling like hyenas at the table. If the Bar and Grille was a quaint, quiet restaurant, our laughing would be a problem. But between the music in the background, shouting voices at the bar, the basketball games playing on the flat screens, and the buzzing of conversation over everything else, our laughter doesn’t really bother anyone. After we manage to calm ourselves down, Sam turns to me and gets serious.
“You know I love you like a sister, Natalia, and I just want you to be happy. So just…be careful with Aaron, please. I know I’ve told you to be careful before, and you said you knew what you were doing, but I mean it this time.”
I swallow past the lump that’s formed in my throat and nod. We briefly hug it out before getting to work.
***
I’m just getting out of the shower, about to crawl into bed, when I notice the missed calls on my phone. Two from Gina and one from my dad.
What the hell?
With the time stamp being well over an hour and a half ago, I decide that first thing tomorrow morning, I’ll call my dad to find out what’s going on. Burrowing under the blankets, I lie on my back, staring up at my ceiling. There’s not much to see. My room is bathed in darkness, but slowly my eyes begin to adjust. I try to stop myself from going there. Thinking about him, but I can’t help it. I just miss him so much. Every day that we’re apart, my heart hurts a little bit more.
Why hasn’t he tried to apologize?
Why hasn’t he tried to win me back? Now that one…that one hurts the most. I guess I really am one of those foolish, hopeless romantics who thinks she’ll win the guy in the end and have her happily ever after. Stupid girl. Don’t you know happily ever afters don’t exist for people like us? Rolling onto my side, I close my eyes, wipe away the stray tears, and sniffle into my pillow. It doesn’t take long for me to fall asleep.
***
The next morning, I wake up to more missed calls from my dad, and even a voicemail. Seriously? Who even leaves voicemails anymore? After listening to his message, which asks me to swing by the house, I know it immediately has to do with Gina. Anytime she’s miserable, everyone else is too. That’s sort of like her rule of law. I don’t understand why she’s miserable though. She got what she wanted, didn’t she? I’m just surprised this hasn’t happened sooner.
I drive to my dad’s house. The house I once lived in too, but this place doesn’t feel like home. It never did. I knock on the front door, and my dad opens it with a reserved smile.
“Hey, Dad,” I say cautiously as he opens the door for me to step inside.
“Hey honey. Come on let’s sit down and have a little talk. Everyone should be gone for a while.”
I take a seat across from my dad at the kitchen table and watch as he fidgets. The house hasn’t changed much since I was kid. Still beige colored walls, dark cabinets, and stainless steel appliances.
“Okay, Dad, just spit out. What’s going on?” I ask impatiently, feeling my anxiety rise. My dad sighs and scrubs a hand down his face. Looking at him right now, he looks older than his fifty years. His face is sunken in, and his hair, once a salt and pepper gray, is more gray than anything now.
“What’s going on with you and your sister, Natalia? She said you picked a fight with her and have been ignoring her calls ever since.”
My body instantly stiffens and my lips thin into a grim line. That fucking bitch.
“It’s long story, Dad, but I’m sure whatever way she’s trying to spin it, that’s not how it happened,” I say with a defeated sigh.
“What’s going on then, Natalia? Because your sister seems heartbroken that you won’t even speak to her.”
I laugh humorlessly. “Dad, Georgina hates me. You and I both know this, so you can cut the act. She blames me for coming along and ruining her life.” I shrug. “She did the unthinkable and ruined my relationship with someone who made me happy, all for her own selfish reasons. And she never sent me any messages trying to get in touch.”
“That is a complete lie, Natalia. I sat with her last night while she called you, and you never answered. She was crushed. I had to console her as we waited for you call back,” he argues, and I gaze heavenward for strength, because Lord help me, Gina is even more manipulative than I thought.
“Well excuse me for not wanting to speak to her ever again after the things she’s done and said. She made it pretty clear how she feels when she said she wished I would just drop dead like my mother.”
My dad’s face pales.
“No.” He shakes his head. “Georgina would never say something like that to you, honey. She loves you.” Dad says it almost like he’s trying to convince himself.
“Yes, she did, Dad. She also called my mother a worthl
ess whore and basically said the same thing about me.”
My dad scrubs a hand down his face and takes a drink of his coffee. I narrow my eyes at his lack of reaction. Why isn’t he angry? Shouldn’t he be jumping to my deceased mother’s defense, or even his daughters defense? Then it hits me.
“You believe me, right?” I question. My heart pounds in my chest awaiting his answer. I swear…if he says the wrong thing, I’ll be done.
“Of course, sweetie. But you have to understand where your sister is coming from. It was hard for her and her mother to be open to another child being in the picture.”
I close my eyes and let the weight of disappointment settle around me. Of course he would take her side. Why wouldn’t he? The little girl living inside me wants to shed a few tears, but I don’t. I won’t.
“Are you kidding? That’s all you’re going to say on the matter?” I ask incredulously.
“What do you want me to say, Natalia?” He sighs.
“That you can’t believe that she could say something like that about me and my mother. How can you be okay with someone speaking that away about her? She can’t even defend herself!” My voice goes up as my temper rises.
“I’m not okay with it, Natalia. But I’m also not gonna punish my daughter for my past mistakes.” A pang shoots through my heart and my eyes burn with tears. So much for not crying.
“So, my mother and I are mistakes?” I whisper.
My dad’s eyes widen and swing back to mine. He looks like a deer caught in headlights.
He shakes his head frantically. “No. That’s not it at all. I loved your mother very much, and you know how much I love you. I just can’t blame your sister for the choices I made that turned her world upside down. I’ve done everything I can to make it up to the both of you.”
“Right, Dad,” I scoff. “Because every decision of my childhood was for my benefit.”
My dad’s eyes narrow. “I did the best I could raising you both, and I won’t have you giving me lip about the decisions I made in raising you, Natalia.”