I turned toward her and scanned her face for any signs that she was joking, that those horrible words hadn’t just left her mouth, and that it was her twisted way of getting my attention. Well, she fucking had it.
“I’d just found out I was five weeks pregnant. I don’t want a kid, so I took care of it,” she said, flicking her hair back nonchalantly.
“My baby?”
“That’s what I said. Nicole took me to the clinic in Little Rock, and we ran into another girl from school. I don’t even know her name, but I guess she couldn’t keep her stupid little trap shut. She probably called everyone she knew over the weekend, and here we are on Monday and the entire school knows. I don’t give a shit, though.”
“That’s what everyone is talking about? I was going to be a dad, and the entire fucking school knew and I didn’t?” My words came rushing out as I leaned forward, grabbing the steering wheel until my knuckles turned white. “My God. Why? Why would you do something like that? What if I wanted our baby? Brittany, we’re engaged to get married. For Christ’s sake, why didn’t you tell me?” I slumped back in my seat and squeezed my eyes closed.
“Not your decision, Walker. It’s mine. I’m the one dealing with ugly stretch marks and my belly getting big. I don’t want kids. They’re nasty, dirty little creatures. So it’s done. And just remember, you just had to know what everyone was talking about. Hell, you would have never known if that little skank hadn’t opened her yap,” she said as she pulled on the door handle.
Before I realized it, I grabbed her wrist. “Have you done this before? Had an abortion? Have I gotten you pregnant before?” I choked on my words as they left my mouth. My stomach clenched at the sickening thought that she could toss a life away without even considering me.
“This is the second, so we need to figure something out, because obviously this birth control shit isn’t working. Abortions aren’t cheap, ya know.”
She hopped out of the car and closed the door before I could utter another word. A hollow ache filled my chest as I grabbed the steering wheel and yelled at the top of my lungs.
Chapter 5
I sat on the edge of my bed with my head in my hands. For the first time since I’d been a kid, tears pooled in my eyes. Anger and sadness played tug-of-war with my heart. One minute I was relieved I wasn’t going to be a dad, and the next my chest ached. But more than that, I couldn’t get over seeing a side of Brittany I’d never seen before.
“Walker, James is here,” Mom said.
I wiped my nose on my sleeve as my door swung fully open.
“Hey, thought I’d catch up with you and see what happened this afternoon. Did you find out what was going on today at school?” James asked.
I nodded.
“Well, what’s up?”
I cleared my throat as James flopped down on my bed.
“Ya know, you should get some posters of hot, half-naked chicks and put them on your ceiling. At least you’d have something else to think about other than the shit your girlfriend stirs up,” he said, laughing.
“You didn’t hear, did you?” I asked.
“Hear what? Someone’s gotta tell me what the hell’s going on.”
“Brittany had an abortion without telling me.”
James’s mouth dropped open as he slowly sat up on the edge of my bed. I stood and paced across my small room.
“For real?”
“Yeah,” I said as I rubbed my hands across my face. “Some girl from school saw her at the clinic, and well, you saw everyone talking today.”
“Fuck.”
“It’s not her first either,” I said as I shoved my hands in my front pockets.
“Fuck.”
Silence filled the air as we both tried to grasp what had happened.
“What are you going to do?” James asked. “Man, that’s some messed up shit.”
I stared at him. “What would you do?”
“Double wrap?” James asked, shrugging.
I shook my head, thinking about all the times she’d talked me out of using a condom and promised she was taking her pill. Apparently I couldn’t believe anything that she said. I took a deep breath and blew it out. “I don’t know if it’s going to work anymore.”
“I wondered if you were going there. Man, you guys are engaged.”
“Yeah, I know. I was there when I asked her,” I said, sarcasm dripping from my voice.
“You know if you break things off with her, she won’t let you date anyone else. She’ll harass the hell out of any other girl and make your life miserable.”
“I can handle her. I’ve done it for three years.”
“Yeah, you might be able to, but what about the other girl? Brittany’s the queen of mean.”
I shook my head. “I don’t want to go out with anyone else anyway. I just want to focus on getting the hell out of high school in one piece.”
“Are you sure?”
“No, I’m not sure about anything except that she aborted my kids without telling me. She was so matter-of-fact about it too. It kinda scared me.”
“Shit. Maybe it freaked her out and this is just the way she’s dealing with it or something? Like, I don’t even know what to say, dude. But whatever you decide, I’ve got your back.”
“Thanks, man.” I leaned against the wall as the kitchen phone rang. I opened the door, stretched my arm around the corner, and picked it up. “Hello?”
“Hi, baby,” Brittany purred. “I know I left in a hurry today, but this wasn’t easy for me.”
“I wouldn’t know. I wasn’t allowed to be with you.”
“Stop,” she snapped. “It wasn’t any of your business, so deal with it.”
I took a deep breath instead of telling her what I really thought about “dealing with it.”
“Baby, I don’t want to fight.”
“Me either,” I said as I stared at my shoes.
“Come see me so we can make up?” she asked softly.
I weighed the benefits of working things out right now, but I wasn’t sure about anything.
“Please? I’m at Nicole’s, and we can sit outside under the stars by the lake.”
“You do know it’s still winter, right?”
“So bring your coat and some blankets. We’ll snuggle.”
I could almost see her peering up at me through her full eyelashes, her full bottom lip forming a pout. My dick throbbed.
“Can you—? Can we?” I asked.
“No, I have to wait a few weeks.”
“Okay. That’s fine,” I replied. Maybe it would allow me to think with my brain instead of my dick for a change. I needed to figure out some things.
“So you’ll come see me?”
“Sure. Does seven work?”
“Yeah. And baby, just because I can’t have sex doesn’t mean I won’t take care of you.”
Shit.
“We’ll see. I just want you to be okay. I don’t know how it all works, but if we can’t do anything for a few weeks, then the procedure must have been a big deal.”
“Meh.”
I shook my head. “See ya in a little bit.”
“Okay, bye baby,” she said.
I held the phone until the dial tone sounded in my ear. I put it back in the cradle and glanced out the kitchen window. My mom’s favorite oak tree stood silently, naked of all its leaves.
“That her?” James asked as he poked his head out of my bedroom.
“Yeah, I’m going to see her in a little bit.”
“Good luck, man. Whatever you decide.”
“Thanks.”
“I gotta meet my folks for dinner, so I’ll catch you tomorrow at school.”
“Tell them hi for me.”
James saluted as he walked through the kitchen then closed the front door behind him.
“Is it true?” Garrett asked as he stepped into the room.
“Is what true?” Had word spread throughout the middle school too? I was afraid to know.
“
The rumors about you and Brittany.”
“Well, I can’t help you because I don’t know what you’re referring too,” I snapped.
“That she aborted your baby,” he said quietly.
Fuck.
“No, douchebag, they’re just rumors. Stop believing all the shit you hear.”
Garrett stood still and didn’t move.
“What?” I asked. “Don’t you have homework or something?”
“Yeah, I do, but I know you’re lying to me. I can tell by the look on your face.”
I leaned back against the kitchen sink and folded my arms in front of me. I searched Garrett’s face, but I saw nothing but concern.
“I was going to be an uncle?”
“Stop, don’t say that. It’s just—shit just got screwed up,” I said as my gaze dropped to the floor.
“It’s fucked up,” Garrett said. “What she did.”
Surprised, I glanced back up at him. “You think so?”
“Yeah, I do. And no, I won’t tell Mom or anyone else. I told everyone at school it wasn’t true. I’ll do what I can. In a few days, they’ll all be talking about someone else anyway.”
“Why?”
“Why what?” Garrett asked, brushing his bangs out of his eyes.
“Why are you being cool about it and not telling Mom?”
“Walker, you’re a dick, and you’re a bigger dick when you’re around Brittany, but you didn’t deserve that. You’d make a good dad.”
My eyes widened. Had my bratty kid brother just said something nice? “Thanks, I guess. I don’t know what to think right now.”
“I’d be pissed and hurt.”
“I am.” I glanced at the clock. I needed to leave if I wasn’t going to be late. “I gotta go. Let Mom know I’m with Brittany and I’ll be back by ten.”
“Okay. And good luck.”
“Thanks. I think I’m going to need it.”
Chapter 6
The moon broke through the clouds as I pulled into Nicole’s driveway. Brittany opened the front door before I even reached it.
“Hi, baby,” she said, smiling as she tugged on my shirt, led me into the entryway, and kissed me.
“You two knock it off already,” Nicole said, descending the first two stairs.
Brittany winked at me as she took my hand.
“Don’t you have something else to do?” Brittany asked Nicole.
“I have someone to do,” Nicole replied, wriggling her eyebrows.
The girls giggled as the door opened behind me. I turned to see who’d just walked in.
“Brandon?” I asked.
“Hey, man,” he said as he grinned at Nicole.
She leaned over the railing and gave us a full view down her shirt. She wasn’t wearing a bra. She twirled a piece of her blonde hair around a finger and smiled as she turned to walk up the stairs and down the hall. Brandon elbowed past me and ran up the stairs behind her.
“How did I not know they were hooking up?” I asked.
“I have no idea. They’ve been all over each other for weeks.”
“They’re not at lunch,” I said, frowning.
“I don’t think they wanted you to know for some reason, like you’d care. They’re weird. Let’s go,” she said as she tugged on my hand.
I followed her into the living room, where she grabbed some blankets for us, then we slipped out the back sliding glass door. I pulled my coat tighter against the chill as we walked down the sloped backyard toward the dock. A gust of wind blew across the water and sent a shiver down my neck.
“Britt, aren’t you freezing out here?”
“I’ll have you warmed up in a minute,” she said, spreading the blankets out on the dock. The water gently lapped at the side, rocking it. “Come here.”
She patted the space next to her, and I sat down before she flipped the covers over us. We snuggled underneath them and blocked out the wind.
“I love you,” she said.
“I love you too.” I leaned in and kissed her.
She arched upward and guided my hand beneath her sweater. She moaned into my mouth as I cupped her breast and teased her nipple through the lace of her bra.
“I wish you could be inside me right now,” she whispered.
I pulled away and slid my hand out from under her top at the thought of why we couldn’t be together. For a few minutes, I’d managed to push everything out of my mind, but the harsh reality had just come crashing down on me again.
“What is it?” she asked as she flicked open the button of my jeans.
“Stop,” I said and fastened them. I sat up and took a deep breath.
“You’re not still mad, are you?” she asked, surprise filling her voice.
“Yeah. I can’t help it. Britt, that was the last thing I expected to hear.”
She huffed and stared out at the water. “I can’t believe this. Walker, I’ve always been clear. I can’t stand icky kids. All they do is slobber, puke, and shit. Ewww, it’s disgusting.”
“You killed our baby,” I whispered. Tears stung my eyes as I said the words.
“Oh my God. You’re so fucking dramatic. Besides, this is about me and no one else,” she said, standing up. She grabbed the blanket off me and wrapped herself in it.
I stood with her and buttoned my coat. I searched her face for any sadness, guilt—any kind of emotion—but I couldn’t find anything at all. She’d meant every word. I shook my head and rubbed my face with both hands. How could she not feel anything? Had she always been this way and I’d been blind to it? I took a deep breath.
“It’s always about you,” I said. “I can’t do this anymore. I’m done.” I said, tossing my hands in the air in surrender.
“You’re going to break up with me over an abortion?” she asked, her voice stepping up an octave.
“It’s way more than that, and you know it. You lied to me, hid it from me, and had no problem doing it. I can’t be with someone like that. I’m not that guy. I love you, but you don’t understand what that means. We’re over.” I sounded calmer than I felt.
“You don’t mean that,” she whispered, her chin quivering.
“I do. I’m sorry.”
My shoulders slumped as I turned and picked up the other blanket off the dock. My head pounded as the reality began to sink in. I’d just broken up with her after three years. I’d never seen it coming either.
“Take care,” I said as I turned and walked back up the dock.
“What? You don’t get to be done with me!” she shrieked and stomped her foot. “And this stupid little ring!”
I stopped and turned in time to see the moonlight glint off the engagement ring as it sailed through the air and plopped into the lake. My heart slammed against my chest.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I asked as anger swirled inside me.
“And just for the record, nothing is wrong with your memory. Brandon fucked the shit out of me at that party, and I loved every minute of it.”
My mouth dropped as I stared at her, my eyebrows furrowing as I tried to piece the scattered memories together again. “Jesus Christ. You cheated on me that night?”
“Please, quit acting like you’re so much better than everyone. You banged Nicole right next to us. Well, you sort of laid there, but it didn’t bother her any,” Brittany said as she placed her hands on her hips.
Sweat beaded across my forehead despite the cold air blowing in off the lake. Nausea filled me, and I swallowed back the bitter taste in my mouth. She had to be lying. I’d never do something like that.
“I’d never cheat on you. You were going to be my wife. What the hell did you do to me?”
“The joint was laced with a touch of something extra. I forget what Brandon called it. It was supposed to just boost the weed. But you reacted differently. You certainly weren’t as much fun as you usually are.”
I squeezed my eyes closed and took a deep breath as I imagined my hands wrapped around her neck. I shook my head and steppe
d backward. I wouldn’t become that guy. I didn’t give a shit what came out of her mouth, but I knew my limits, and if I’d been honest with myself, she’d crossed them a long time ago. Disgust filled me as I debated my next words.
“We’re so fucking over. That’s not who I am, and you’re not anyone I ever want to be with again.”
“Walker, you can’t end it. I already did when I threw your pathetic ring in the lake!” Her hands fisted at her sides as she screamed.
I willed my feet to move up the hill and away from her.
“Don’t you dare walk off from me! Walker Farren!”
I ignored her as I continued toward Nicole’s house, my heart pounding with every step.
“If I close my eyes, he looks just like you!” she yelled.
I opened the sliding glass door and tossed the blanket on the sofa. I rounded the corner and took the stairs two at a time. My pulse raced as I barged through Nicole’s bedroom door, waltzed in, and pulled a mostly naked Brandon off her by his shoulders.
“What the hell, man?” Brandon yelled.
I wrapped my hand around his neck, pulled back my right one, and punched him full in the nose. I busted his mouth with my next hit, and as I pulled my arm back to deliver another blow, Nicole’s screams broke through my hazy, anger-filled thoughts.
“Stop!” Brittany shrieked, approaching me from behind. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught the tears streaming down her cheeks.
“Stop, please,” she whimpered.
I released my hold on Brandon as he dropped to the floor, his face busted and bloody. Both girls rushed to his side as I backed away.
“How could you?” Nicole asked as she cradled his head against her shoulder. His blood covered the beige sheet she’d wrapped herself in.
“I’m done with all of you. This isn’t who I want to be. Y’all can go fuck yourself.”
I glanced at Brittany one more time then walked out of her life.
Chapter 7
I skipped school for the next few days. I couldn’t handle walking down the hallways with everyone staring, whispering, and talking about what had happened. What I’d done. Who I’d become. My ass had been handed to me, and I wasn’t sure I was going to make it. I don’t think Mom believed I was sick, but for some reason, she didn’t push the issue.
My Hurricane (The Truth Series Book 0) Page 3