Tears stung her eyes as she stood in awe of God.
After several moments, she picked up the phone again and dialed. She waited for the voicemail and left a message.
“Paulo, I just spoke to Cara. I am going to be at the six o’clock service today. I bet you’re already in church, but I would like for you to be there tonight. Can you believe it? I am the one inviting you to church now! I have so much to tell you. I love…um, you know what? I have a lot to share and to tell you in person. Please, Paulo, try to come back tonight, if you can.”
She hung up and let the vision continue to take shape in her mind. She was nervous but excited at the same time, as the Holy Spirit, spoke to her heart about what He wanted her to do to glorify God.
“Okay, God. I will. I look forward to finally doing something for You.”
Her only regret was that Paulo could miss it.
Chapter 29
But Jesus said, “No, go home to your family, and tell them everything the Lord has done for you and how merciful he has been (Mark 5:19).
After his workout, Paulo showered for the second time, dressed, and prayed. The window had been replaced flawlessly and he was sorry he had let his temper cost him three hundred dollars that he didn’t have to spend. Still, he loved the stain glass that beautifully filtered the morning light.
Without calling, he hopped into his SUV and drove to his mother’s apartment on Lexington Avenue and East One Hundred Eighth Street. The bell didn’t work and she was not picking up the phone. He had to wait ten minutes until someone exited the building before he could enter.
He knew she was home because her windows were opened and his mother always closed the front windows when she left the house.
He bounded up the stairs to the fifth floor walkup in which he grew up since moving to the United States with his mother at twelve, following the death of his brother and father in a car accident in Brazil. He’d come a long way since those early days in New York and it annoyed him that his mother still had to take the stairs every single day.
Uiara Elias gasped. “Meu filho! Eu não estava esperando você!”
Paulo smiled, loving how his mãe always called him ‘my son.’ “I know you weren’t expecting me, Mãe, but I came anyway,” he answered in Portuguese. “What? You’re not happy to see me?”
“Vi!” Uiara smiled as she beckoned her son to enter the small apartment. “You know you are always welcome. No church this morning?”
Paulo kissed both her cheeks, loving the scent of rosewater wafting from her raisin-color cheeks. Her dark skin reminded him of Phoenix, and he struggled to keep the smile on his face. “I’m going this evening. Want to come with me?”
His mother waved her hand. “Not tonight. Your cousins, Mariana and Giovanna, are coming to bring me to their home in New Jersey in a couple of hours. We will have lunch and shop at the outlet malls. Besides, I already went to mass at eight this morning. Why I need to go to church twice in one day? I will pray the rosary tonight.”
“Ahh, Mãe, I pray you’ll visit my church one day.”
As Paulo sat down at his mother’s rickety oak table, he became forlorn as his eyes searched the tiny two bedroom apartment. The original off-white paint was peeling and yellowed with age. The table for four took up most of the living room, or what was left of it, when you considered the huge china cabinet, sofa, loveseat, and old broken box television set still sitting on the floor. And yes, there was a smaller functioning television set on top.
“Mãe, I wish you’d let me redo this apartment. I could paint it, change the furniture. Better yet, can’t you reconsider moving to my building? That was why I bought it in the first place! You can have the apartment below me all to yourself. I use it as one large office space now, but I can revert it back to the nice one bedroom it was before. You won’t have to pay any more rent. You can use your income to travel, visit your sisters in Bahia.”
“Ah, stop it, my son,” Uiara said, waving her hand in dismissal. “You just sent me there not even six months ago. And what income? You are financially supporting me and paying the rent, Paulo. You’re always good to your mãe. That’s why God blesses you so much. But you didn’t buy that building for me. You bought it so you can have room for the wife I have been praying for God to send you. In that big place, you should have room for many grandchildren. You may need that apartment below one day. I don’t want to be a burden.”
“But Mãe—”
“Stop! You didn’t come here to criticize my church or my home. What’s on your mind?” Her Portuguese was a bright song playing in the dreary apartment.
“I just wanted to spend time with you, Mãe” Paulo said, forcing a thin smile.
“What’s her name?” Uiara eyed her son knowingly.
Paulo looked at his mother. “How do you know?”
“My son, I had you in the womb for nine whole months, raised you for eighteen years, and still continue to care for you in my own way. You think your mãe doesn’t know her son? Did she break your heart?”
“Yes,” Paulo said, lowering his head to the table. “But I guess God didn’t intend for her to be mine. He brought her into my life for me to help her and I did. I found out this morning that she returned to her ex-fiance. What hurts the most is that she doesn’t even really want to be with him. She just wants...she just has trouble letting go of the past,” Paulo finished carefully, still unwilling to shed a negative light on his beloved.
“Are you sure God didn’t bring her into your life to be your wife?”
“I guess not,” Paulo sighed, heavily. “That’s why I haven’t introduced her to you. I wanted to be sure she was the one He has for me.”
“Then God will bring you the one He meant for you to have.”
When he groaned, she placed a warm palm on his cheek. “Anyway, you are a handsome Brazilian man. Even when you were overweight, you knew how to win a woman over. Your pai taught you and your brother that from a young age! If he had still been alive, I would be right by his side.”
Paulo laughed.
“So why are you giving up so easily? If you feel God sent this woman for you, fight for her.”
Paulo shook his head. “That is all I’ve been doing, believe me. Anyway, I asked God this morning in prayer and He showed me—”
“Are you sure He showed you?” Paulo’s mother stood to get herself and her son strong cups of coffee. When she returned, she asked, “Are you sure, Paulo? You may be the one who goes to that fancy church and knows more about the Bible than I do, but a mother knows her son. You always did have a tendency to jump to conclusions. You are a Brazilian man! You have quick tempers and take-charge personalities because you must have things your way. You always were in a rush and you tend to rush ahead of God. You said, after Liz, that you would be working on that. Have you? Doesn’t the Bible say that God answers in His timing? Even I know that.”
Paulo was speechless. His mother was a woman he had always pitied and felt the need to teach about the scriptures and the truth about salvation. He had spent years trying to turn her away from a religion that he felt did not share true biblical truths in favor of doctine and rituals.
Yet, through her, God had spoken a fundamental truth.
Be that as it may, Phoenix was standing at the stoop, hugging her ex-fiance, who was holding an overnight bag in his hand.
“I don’t know for sure if He did say it, but I know what I saw this morning, Mãe. I saw them together hugging. I guess I have my answer. She’s not for me.”
Uiara’s face fell. “I am sorry for your pain, my son. Okay, if not her, then the one will be revealed soon. I never told you this, but I have been praying for your new wife since Elizabeth died almost ten years ago. You suffered so much in that marriage and I asked God to find you your perfect match. I do hope it’s soon, because you will be forty before we know it. I even asked that she remind you of me a little bit...at least in some way!”
She does have my mother’s skin color and her round f
rame...at least she did.
Paulo’s eyes filled with tears as he pictured Phoenix hugging Cedric on her stoop.
“Ahhh, my son,” Uiara got up to bury her son’s face in her ample busom. “God will provide, my son. Deus proverá.” She repeated the words over and over as she rocked him in her arms.
And he agreed with his mãe.
Still, he cried that the Lord had not provided Phoenix.
***
Several hours later, Phoenix was frantic. She had called Paulo a total of eighteen times and left eight messages and five texts. He still wasn’t answering her calls. She had gone by his building and rang the bell but he had not answered. Since the hole in the glass had been repaired, she could not peek around the flaps of the cardboard. Frustrated, she almost used a payphone just to see if he would answer a call from a strange number, but decided she would be crushed if he did pick up a stranger’s call before her own.
She just didn’t want him to miss church. Especially since she had the surprises she wanted to share with him.
At least Cara and James would be a witness.
She returned to her apartment with a pounding heart, afraid that she had lost Paulo forever. She never got to tell him how much she loved him and he would never know that all his efforts had borne fruit.
After freaking out, she decided the best things she could do was pray and spend time with God. They had renewed their relationship and she needed to be with Him more than ever.
Just as Paulo had done on numerous occasions, she asked the Holy Spirit to lead her in prayer and reading the scriptures. She thought she would be praying about Paulo, but she found herself praying for God to protect her, guide her, and to grow in the Word of God. She asked God to give her a hunger and thirst for Himself and His scriptures so that she would mature in her walk with Jesus, unlike the first time. She prayed for restoration of her family relationships and friendships and that God would use her experiences to bring more people to Jesus. After she prayed as God led her to pray, she asked God to lead her to pray for Paulo.
“God, please let Paulo be at church this evening. I want to see him and I want him to be there when I go forward with what you put on my heart to do. I ask that You lead us to where You want us to go. Please, God, if it is Your will, lead us to marriage. I love him so much. Teach me to be a good wife to him, but teach both of us to always put you first in our individual lives and in our marriage so we can survive. Thank You, God, in Jesus’s Name, I pray. Amen, Lord.”
And the Spirit put His peace around His daughter. Knowing there was more she needed to pray, He touched her.
And Phoenix, much to her surprise, began to pray in strange tongues. With wide eyes, and a rapidly moving mouth that worked with a mind of its own, she began uttering strange sounds and groanings that came from her core. She did not know what she was praying. All she knew was that she was fighting for Paulo, this time, as he had done for her so many times in the past several months.
When she was done, she did not mock the sounds of the Holy Spirit, but wept because He had given her such a precious gift.
***
At five-fifteen, Phoenix sat next to the car seat as James and Cara argued up front in Spanish. Phoenix was surprised, assuming James was Black American, but discovered he was, in fact, Panamanian. Phoenix wished she knew what they were discussing.
Cara knew it was rude to speak a foreign language in front of someone who did not speak it, but she was trying to get James to help her arrange a meeting at church between Phoenix and Paulo. Yes, she had learned a lesson in meddling, but this was too much! She wanted to tell Phoenix that Paulo was going to be at the church. She wanted to blurt it out every time Phoenix checked her phone for messages or dialed and hung up with a frustrated sigh.
“Mira, James—” Cara began.
James shook his head and responded in Spanish as gently as his booming voice would allow. “Enough, Baby. As your husband, I have to ask you to submit. Me and you are staying out of their business. God doesn’t need your help. Let Him do this His way. And, Baby, I love you. But we’re done with this, okay?”
Cara turned from him in a huff, crossing her arms, and turning toward the window. Of course James would be loving and kind as he used his authority as her husband to stop her. The nerve of him! He didn’t even afford her the right to get mad.
Why did God demand wives submit to their husbands? Cara wondered about this for the millionth time in her marriage.
An image of a woman handing a man an apple filled her mind.
“Fine,” Cara sighed, “I get it, Lord.”
James chuckled and asked in English. “He showed you Genesis again, didn’t He?”
“Shut up!” Cara said, playfully slapping her husband in the arm.
Phoenix, of course, had no idea what was going on.
At five-forty, James dropped off the family car in the parking garage the church provided for its congregation. After handing the attendant the keys, his cell phone rang. “That’s him.” He picked up the phone. “Yeah, Buddy, we’re about to leave the garage now. Be there in a minute.”
Cara giggled and entwined her arm around Phoenix. “Did I tell you, you look beautiful today? You even did your makeup just right.”
“I’ve been practicing,” Phoenix answered, pausing to hug her friend.
They walked behind James and Junior as they headed to the entrance.
“Look who’s here,” Cara words came out in a song.
Phoenix looked and saw Paulo standing at the entrance of the church with a stoic look on his face.
James and the baby reached him first. “Hey, Man!” he boomed.
“Hey!” Paulo shook his hand, and smiled as he reached to kiss the baby’s forehead. “Where’s—”
His smile died away, however, when he saw Phoenix standing next to Cara.
Phoenix’s heart pounded when she saw his smile drop.
“Hey, Big brother” Cara said, reaching out to him for a hug.
“Hey yourself,” he said, eyeing Phoenix, as he bent to give Cara an awkward hug.
“Hi, Paulo,” Phoenix said, shyly.
“Phoenix,” Paulo nodded, feeling a pulse in his temple begin to throb. Father, I am right in front of Your house. I cannot go off on a woman in the middle of Times Square, in front of Your house, and still be a good Christian. Help me. I can’t do this. You know how I can get. My spirit is willing, but my flesh is weak.
“How are you?” Phoenix asked, willing her arms to stay at her side and not reach out to cling to his neck. “I’ve been calling you all day. Did you get my calls?”
“I saw you were calling,” Paulo said through clenched teeth. “I didn’t listen to the messages.”
Cara and James stood awkwardly to the side.
Phoenix nodded, afraid. She had never seen this side to Paulo before. Sure they’d had bad arguments before but she had never seen him so distant, so cold. She would rather see the Paulo who smashed windows and threw over desks than this cold, despondent man.
Phoenix had to take a step back when she saw his eyes harden and turn flat gray, as they looked her over from head to toe.
No, I can’t do it. I can not let her get away with this foolishness. How dare she look at me with those eyes and act like nothing is wrong? “So where’s Cedric?” Paulo asked, purposefully looking up and down the street. “I don’t see him here. Did he go home?”
“Cedric?” Phoenix asked, blinking. How did he know?
“Yeah, Cedric! Your fiancé. I saw you both coming out of your building, early this morning, when I came to surprise you. Looked like you guys were really chummy. I noticed he had a bag, so I hope you both had a wonderful night. Well, halleluiah! Guess you got what you wanted!”
Cara’s eyes widened as she looked at James, then Phoenix, then Paulo. She thought Paulo was beyond mollifying, because he was always the type to air differences with someone in private, and certainly not in the middle of a crowded street. And when she noticed the familia
r red hue stain Paulo’s cheeks, and heard his accent wrap tightly around his words, and watched his eyes turn from his angry-gray eyes to his rarely-seen raging-black eyes, she knew that church or not, Paulo was about to lose his religion. Cara looked quickly to James.
James nodded and cleared his throat. He made a show of looking at his watch and touched Paulo’s arm. “Uh, it’s ten to six. Let’s head in and get seats.”
Phoenix and Paulo were trapped in a staring contest. Phoenix was quivering, dismayed at the misunderstanding. The psychologist in her recognized the signs of a person who had shut down. No amount of careful reasoning, explanation, or clarification would ease Paulo’s pain regarding seeing her ex come out of her building, in the early morning, holding an overnight bag.
Still she had to try. She reached out. “Paulo—”
Paulo sneered and stepped back before he really went off. “James, take the baby to the nursery. I’ll get us seats and text you to let you know where we are.”
When James followed Paulo into the building, Cara turned to Phoenix with a tight-lipped
look. “Chica, now I know why we were praying so hard. You are nuts! You went through with your scheme to seduce Cedric and get back at him? After everything? Well, I can’t judge you, but how could you?” She slapped Phoenix’s arm hard. “You broke his heart, Girl! I have no idea how to help you out of this one.”
Tears sprang to Phoenix’s eyes. “You guys have it all wrong. That’s what I’ve been trying—”
“Girl, save it for later. We only got a couple minutes. We’ll get this straight after service, alright?”
“Okay, text me where you guys end up. I’ll be there in a while.”
The Makeover Page 41