The door opened. The man who stood there wasn’t Konstantin.
He was in his fifties with thinning sandy hair and a crumpled white shirt. He had the same lean look as Grigory—a man who used to be in the military, and has kept in shape. But his eyes were utterly different. They were too old for his face. They were too old for anyone’s face.
“Please sit,” he said, nodding at the chair. His Russian accent was heavy, his voice sad.
I didn’t move. “Who are you?”
“I am Maxsim.” He gave me a smile that had long ago been sapped of any warmth. “I used to work for the FSB. You know what that is?”
I nodded. Russia’s security agency.
He was carrying a folding table and a briefcase. He set the table up next to the chair and put the briefcase on top of it. “Please,” he said, waving at the chair. “Sit.”
I still didn’t move. I knew what this was but my brain was rebelling against it. “What are you going to do to me?” I whispered.
He sighed. “I am going to ask you some questions.” He looked around at the room. “Is what I do here. Unusual, that it is girlfriend I am questioning.” He sighed again. “But...not so unusual.” He opened the briefcase. From my position down on the floor, I couldn’t see what was inside it and I didn’t want to. He nodded at the chair. “Sit.”
I shook my head.
He came over to me, grabbed my wrist and hauled me over to the chair. When I saw what was in the briefcase, I wanted to throw up. I recognized most of the tools from the dentist’s office.
“Please,” I said. I was suddenly breathless and however hard I sucked in air, it didn’t seem to be enough. “You don’t have to do this.” I knew there was no hope for me, now. I couldn’t hold out for long against the pain, but as soon as Konstantin knew the truth, he’d kill me.
Maxsim forced my arms down onto the arms of the chair and buckled them in place.
“Please,” I said, fighting against the panic and losing.
Maxsim pressed my feet against the footrest and buckled my ankles down too.
“Please!” My voice was cracking.
Maxsim picked up a pair of pliers.
And it began.
44
Konstantin
I WATCHED through the one-way mirror, palms sweating as they pressed against the glass. I’d been here before, several times. I didn’t enjoy it but sometimes it was necessary. This, though...this was different.
Christina gave a howl of pain that rose higher and higher. My toes curled in my shoes and I wanted to be sick. Maxsim had the pliers deep in the back of her mouth, pulling hard on a molar. “Which agency?” he was asking. “Which agency do you work for?”
He pulled at a different angle and Christina wailed, the sound echoing around the room and crawling down my spine.
She deserves this. She betrayed me. And it was far worse than if it had been one of my guards. She’d made me fall in love with her! That was the worst kind of deception.
And yet... when I looked into her eyes, I couldn’t believe she was some seductress, sent to tempt me. She was too shy, too awkward, too good.
Maxsim put down the pliers and picked up a drill. He gave the trigger an experimental squeeze and it came alive with a high-pitched scream that bit into my ears.
I knew I had to be strong. I’d been weak and look where that got me….
Maxsim raised the drill to her mouth. She started to buck and thrash in the chair, the restraints digging into her soft skin. God, she suddenly looked so vulnerable—
The drill’s note changed as it found a tooth. Christina screamed.
Be strong. One second passed. Two.
I suddenly turned around and threw open the door. Sprinted down the hallway and into the interrogation room. Maxsim saw me coming and pulled the drill from Christina’s mouth a split second before I grabbed him by the collar and hurled him across the room. “Get away from her!” I bellowed. “Can’t you see she doesn’t know anything?!”
As he hurried away, I fell to my knees in front of a sobbing Christina. My hands fumbled at the restraints, freeing her ankles and wrists. My stomach lurched when I saw the red marks on her pale skin where she’d strained against them. How could I have done this to the woman I loved? Of course she hadn’t betrayed me. I took her hands in mine, trying to rub the marks on her wrists away. “Christina, I—” I wanted to say I was sorry, but how could sorry make up for what I’d done?
And however much I wanted to believe she was innocent, I still needed an explanation. “Christina, please, you have to tell me.” My voice wasn’t angry, now, it was pleading. “Please: what were you doing in my office? What was that thing?”
45
Hailey
I SAT THERE PANTING, close to hysteria. I couldn’t taste blood, but one of my teeth ached and throbbed and if I didn’t find some way to explain, Maxsim might come back and it all might start again. I gripped his hands. His face swam behind my tears, but I could see him: that other Konstantin, the one who loved me. The man he’d been before something tore his life apart and left him so utterly cold. A normal man who just wanted normal things: not an empire, but a wife, a job, a family….
I suddenly realized what the gadget reminded me of.
“It was a—a p—pregnancy test,” I sobbed.
He froze. The guilt washed over his face, obliterating any last traces of suspicion. “What?” he whispered.
“I missed a pill,” I sobbed, my throat raw from screaming. “And I was worried and I needed to do the test and our bathroom was being cleaned and so I thought of the bathroom in your office, it was just for a minute—”
He had his hand over his mouth in horror. “But why didn’t you just tell me?”
“Because I was scared!” The fear was recent enough and real enough that I didn’t have to fake the emotion. “I thought you’d be mad that I’d messed up! And then you were angry and you brought me here and he was hurting me, he was—”
Konstantin suddenly grabbed me and wrapped me up in his arms. I pressed my face to his chest and it all came out in huge, wracking sobs, my tears soaking his shirt. The emotions were real, the fear and the hurt. The fact I was chewing myself up on the inside for lying to him only made me cry harder.
At last, he gently released me and pushed back so that he could look at me. “I wouldn’t have been angry, if you’d told me about the test.” He took my hands again and squeezed them. “I don’t ever want you to be scared of me again.”
I nodded, still shaky.
“Christina,” he said quietly. “Are you pregnant?”
And I drew in my breath because, even though he was doing everything he could to make his voice level and neutral, I could still hear the hope in it. There was a part of him, buried deep and never normally revealed, that really, really wanted a family.
“No,” I whispered. The guilt was slowly ripping my heart in two. “The test was negative.”
He nodded quickly but I saw the flash of disappointment in his eyes. Then he was gently lifting me out of the chair and cradling me against his chest. He carried me like that all the way to the car, ignoring Maxsim’s questions and just barking Home at Grigory. He held me like that the entire way home and then carried me up to our bedroom.
He set me down on the bed only long enough to run me a bath. Then he carefully undressed me and lowered me into it, kneeling beside me while he gently washed the sweat from my body and the hot water eased the tension in my muscles. The pain in my tooth was starting to ease, but he gave me a painkiller to help. Then he wrapped me in a fluffy towel and dried me, and only then did he lay me on the bed and make slow, tender love to me.
It was the first time we’d been properly private: there was no earpiece anymore, no one listening. When he whispered in Russian and English in my ear, it felt intimate on a whole new level. I hadn’t realized how important it is to have secrets.
The feeling started when he kissed me. It got stronger as he fucked me and became a ce
rtainty as we came together. As he spooned me in the darkness, I knew.
I’d had enough.
I loved this man.
I was on his side, now. It wasn’t me and the FBI versus him, anymore. It was me and him versus them.
For the first time, I dared to think it: what if I just never go back?
That’s crazy. I couldn’t just... could I?
I pulled his arm tighter around me. As I drifted off to sleep, I didn’t know what I was going to do, but I knew I wouldn’t betray him again.
But when I woke, a storm was howling outside... and he was gone.
46
Konstantin
I WAS PACING THE HALLS, brooding and furious. Outside, the wind was screeching over the roof and rattling the windows, a monster ready to tear the house apart. I knew how it felt.
I’d got up and dressed in a suit because I knew I wouldn’t be sleeping again. It wasn’t that I’d had the bad dream. The bad dream was terrifying, but it motivated me, kept me focused on what was important.
I’d had the good dream again. More vivid, this time. More real. Like before, I’d been with Christina, somewhere green. I’d woken and stared down at her, aching for her, aching for a different life. One where I could be a husband... a father. That’s what had made me get up. That’s what had me pacing the halls, enraged at myself. I’d let this whole thing get out of control.
I’d been weak. So, so weak. I’d let her get close to me, I’d fallen for her, and now I was having stupid ideas, ideas like a family! I knew what that sort of thing led to. A woman made you vulnerable. A child, doubly so. I’d been blinded by emotion, but now, alone with time to think, I could see it. I was risking everything I’d built, everything I’d promised them, that night.
A noise, behind me. I turned to see her standing there in just her panties and a sheet, the thin material wound around her like a toga, the moonlight painting her pale skin silver. God, she was beautiful. For a second, I just wanted to tell her everything was okay and go back to bed with her. I could feel myself weakening. This is why I can’t be around her!
“What’s going on?” she asked. “Why are you dressed? It’s the middle of the night!”
I couldn’t explain. I shook my head.
She stepped closer and took my hand. “What is it? Talk to me!”
I wanted to. I wanted to share everything with her. But I can’t talk about what happened that night. And the more I opened up to her, the closer we got, the harder this would be. If I didn’t want history to repeat, there was only one thing I could do.
“Christina,” I began, looking at the floor, “I think—I can’t be with you.”
She drew in her breath. She shook her head in denial, but, as soon as I looked up and she saw my expression, she knew it was true. She dropped my hand as if scalded. “You’re breaking up with me?!”
I started to say no... but I couldn’t.
“Now?” she asked, incredulous. “In the middle of the—After we just—”
I cursed. I had no idea how to do this, I only knew it had to be done. “Victoria can help you pack,” I offered. “Grigory will take you anywhere you want to go—”
But she gave a hurt little cry and I stopped talking—I was just making it worse. “Christina,” I said, reaching for her.
“No,” she said, shaking her head. “No.” And then she was off and running, down the stairs and into the hallway, and then the howl of the wind rose as she threw open the door and ran outside.
Shit! Should I go after her? Not go after her? I had no idea how to deal with something like this.
Then I realized where she was going, and how much danger she was in.
And I bolted down the stairs and ran after her into the storm.
47
Hailey
WHEN I GOT OUTSIDE, the wind was so strong it made me stumble sideways. It stole my breath and tried to rip the sheet away from me. But I regained my balance and staggered on into the darkness. If I lost myself thoroughly enough in the undergrowth, maybe the truth wouldn’t find me.
The wind made the long grass ripple: it felt like I was running through the surf, out into the ocean. The storm had already stripped the last of the leaves from the trees, turning them into dark-boned skeletons. They creaked and groaned in agony as their branches were bent further and further, finally snapping and pinwheeling across the ground.
I raced into the glasshouse. It was sheltered, there, but the howl was replaced by a high-pitched whistle as the wind tried to force its way in through a thousand tiny cracks. It reminded me of Maxsim’s drill and I pressed my hand protectively against my cheek as my tooth started throbbing again.
I pulled the sheet tighter around me for warmth as I walked down towards the far end of the glasshouse. I didn’t have a plan. I just wanted to hide, to put off the inevitable for as long as possible—
The door opened. “Christina!” Konstantin’s voice.
I didn’t answer. I couldn’t face him. I pushed on into the shadows. I heard him cursing, trying to close the door, but the wind kept sucking it out of his hand and he gave up. “Christina!”
I kept moving, but then I reached the glass wall at the end of the room and the moonlight lit me up. I heard him run forward as he saw me and I had no choice: I turned around.
I hadn’t realized that I’d started crying but I could feel the hot tears running down my cheeks. “Why?” I blurted. “Why... now? Just when we were—”
He sighed, exasperated. But not at me, at himself. “That’s not what we are, Christina. You and me, we’ve never been that. Both of us just forgot, for a while.” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair and I glimpsed the scar on his forehead. “You always understood before!”
I shook my head. “Well I don’t understand now.”
The wind rose outside, the whistling rising in pitch and then dropping as it changed direction. Konstantin looked up, worried. “Please, Christina! It’s dangerous in here.”
Christina. The name cut me to the core. I wasn’t the woman he thought I was. It wasn’t me he’d fallen in love with, it was her. I shook my head, my eyes swimming with tears.
“Golub,” he pleaded. “Please!”
And I softened. I took a step towards him. And—
The sheet suddenly lifted and the dusty soil on the floor rushed around my feet as the wind suddenly sucked the air out of the glasshouse. The door flew all the way open, straining on its hinges. And then just as abruptly, the wind changed and the door slammed closed with a bang that shook the whole structure.
The first pane popped loose from the roof a few feet to my left. I saw it fall in slow motion, shining bright in the moonlight and perfectly flat until it smacked into a table and shattered, spraying shards of glass at waist height. I screamed as something stabbed into my hip but more panes were already falling. Some fell flat, some swung down and dangled for a second before slicing down like falling swords. Some fell from the roof, some from high up on the walls. The door slam had started a chain reaction: as one pane fell, the change in weight made the ancient metalwork bend and flex, releasing more panes. Glass was falling all around me and exploding into vicious, deadly shards, the echoing crash of it almost continuous. I bent low, trying to protect my face—
Konstantin slammed into me and bore me to the ground on my back, hunkering down over me to protect me. Pane after pane smashed on his broad back and shoulders, but he didn’t seem to care. At last the rain of glass began to slow... and finally, it stopped.
He gingerly turned and looked up at the ceiling. Most of the glass was gone, but one pane was dangling from its frame overhead. He winced as it slipped free and fell, edge-on. But it was on our side, it would miss us—
I glanced down and my insides went cold. It would miss him, but somehow, in the chaos, one of my legs had wound up kicked out to the side. I frantically started to pull it back—
The pane of glass sliced deep into my thigh and the sheet bloomed red with blood.
; 48
Konstantin
“GRIGORY!” I bellowed, but the wind snatched my words away. I was sprinting through the trees, Christina’s body cradled in my arms. She’d passed out before I even got her out of the glasshouse.
“Grigory!” I ran through the long grass. The bitter wind was chilling both of us: I could feel her going cold in my arms. Worse, my chest and stomach were slicked with hot wetness. The life, pumping out of her.
I rammed open the door, almost taking it off its hinges, and into the hallway. “Grigory!” I yelled. And this time he heard and came running around the corner, stumbling in shock when he saw Christina’s limp body. “Hospital!” I snapped, and we ran together down the stairs to the garage.
In the back seat of the car, I held her on my lap. I tried to rouse her but she wouldn’t wake up. Grigory kept glancing in the mirror at Christina, his face as pale and drawn as mine. “Run the lights,” I told him.
I’d made a mistake. A horrible mistake. I’d thought that there was nothing as important as the promise I’d made, years ago. Nothing more important than my family, my legacy, my empire.
There was.
If I could just get her back, I’d do everything she wanted. I’d tell her everything, share all my secrets.
Her body seemed to relax. The blood soaking my shirt started to cool. I couldn’t find her pulse. “Drive faster,” I snarled at Grigory. The street lights blurred wetly. “Drive faster!”
49
The Double Page 19