'I'm sure he's insane,' I said heatedly. 'Certain of it. If they put him in the final examinations every student would get through. He's a classical case. The only trouble is I can't get near enough to prove it.'
'We'll have to be pretty certain before we say anything to the Company, Doc. I always believe in clearing my own yardarm.'
I banged the desk with my fist.
'Damn it! Here's this man-certifiably insane-with every one of us at his mercy. Why, any time he might break out again like last night! Supposing he goes and puts us aground at the Canaries? Or rams the _Queen Mary_ or something off Bishop Rock? He's capable of absolutely anything. What would we do then?'
Hornbeam scratched his cheek with the lip of his pipe.
'It's a teaser, Doc. We'll have to think out some other scheme.' He looked at his watch. 'I must go and tell the Bos'n to take the covers off number three. If I think of anything, I'll let you know. Meantime, I'll keep a sharp watch on Father myself.'
'Thanks. I'll try and work something out. See you for a peg before supper.'
I passed the rest of the day sorting ingenious schemes for diagnosis in my mind. Nothing seemed workable. I thought of confessing frankly to the port doctor in Teneriffe that we had a madman loose on board and asking him to send for a couple of assistants and a straitjacket; but I felt that the port doctor, who was used to ship's captains, might find Captain Hogg not in the least abnormal. I wished sincerely that he would foam at the mouth or do something equally spectacular when we got in.
When Easter brought my tea I admitted my difficulties to him.
'I think the Captain is insane,' I told him.
'Ho, yes,' he said. 'He's as mad as a fiddler's bitch.'
'You've noticed it too, have you?'
'Dr. Flowerday always reckoned he was.'
'Did he do anything about it?'
'Used to slip the cook half a dollar to lace his tea with a Mickey when he was real bad.'
'I hadn't thought of that. It might do in an emergency.'
'Wasn't much cop, as it happened. He chucked the tea at the steward usually.'
'We must think of some way, Easter, to settle this once and for all,' I said firmly. 'I am prepared to give you ten bob-a quid-if you can think of some legal means of getting the Captain off this ship at the first possible moment.'
Easter scratched his head.
'Very kind of you, Doctor, I'm sure. Can't think of anything offhand, like.'
'Well try, man, try. If I can't think of…'
I was cut short by a crash outside my cabin, a loud scream, confused shouting, the clatter of running feet.
'What the hell's happened now?' I exclaimed.
My door flew open. Hornbeam was outside. He was grinning like a tooth-paste advertisement.
'Quick, Doc!' he said. 'Father's fallen twenty feet down number three hatch!'
I ran on to the deck. There was a crowd round the edge of the hatch, hurriedly letting down a rope-ladder. I pushed my way through and climbed over the coaming. In a few seconds I found Captain Hogg had solved all our problems for us by fracturing his right femur in three places.
***
Easter and I strung up Captain Hogg in splints on his bunk. He was a heavy man, and still not a remarkably co-operative patient. It took us a couple of hours, and we were sweating when we had finished.
'I'll have that Bos'n logged,' he muttered, as we arranged the pillows under his head. 'Leaving the covers loose like that…I'll have the Mate logged, too.'
Now keep quiet,' I commanded. 'I forbid you to talk or move.'
'I will talk as much as I damn well like.'
'I give the orders now. I'm the doctor.'
'Well, I'm the Captain.'
'Easter,' I said. 'Just tighten up that splint a bit more, will you?'
'Ouch!' said Captain Hogg.
'Now,' I continued. 'If you will just stay quiet for a moment I can complete my examination. If you don't I shall have to consider putting you on a milk diet. Tinned milk, naturally.'
I pulled out my torch and shone it in his eyes.
'Ah, yes,' I said, in my most menacing professional tone. 'As I thought. Just take this down, Easter. Pupils do not react to light…loss of sensation to pinprick over the nose…abdominal reflexes absent…A classical picture! We will have to put you ashore tomorrow in the Canaries, of course.'
'You will not. I am not leaving my own ship for you or anybody.'
'Damn it, man! Use your sense. This leg has to be set properly. I can't do it here. It needs X-rays and so forth. You will have to go into hospital with it. I hear they have some excellent surgeons in Teneriffe.'
'I will not go, Doctor.'
'If we cable the Company and they say so, you'll have to go.'
'There is no reason why you should cable them. I am still fit to keep my command.'
'It's a bit late to think of that now. The message has already gone.'
'Gone!' He jerked his head from the pillow. 'No messages are allowed to leave the ship without my permission.'
'Really, you are a most difficult patient,' I said gently. 'I will leave Easter to read to you. You will find plenty of literature in the corner, Easter.'
'What, these here?' Easter asked, picking up one of the Captain's library. 'Cor! Looks like a bit of all right, eh?' He settled himself comfortably by the sick-bed. 'Right, sir,' he began. 'I will start with "I was a White Slave. True Confessions of a French Girl Kidnapped from a Convent and Sent to the Infamous Kasbah of Algiers." Cor,' he added to the Captain, 'I know Algiers all right. Funny thing happened to me last time I was there. I'd gone ashore with the Cook, see, and we was looking for a bit of fun, as you might say…'
I left them, feeling I had inflicted on Captain Hogg sufficient misfortune for the evening.
Hornbeam was sitting in his cabin writing up the log-book.
'Hello, Doc,' he said cheerfully. 'How's the patient, God rot his soul?'
'As well as can be expected, I'm afraid.'
'I'm just putting it in the log. You'll have to sign down here.'
'When will we get to Teneriffe?' I asked.
'About midday. We should be tied up alongside by one.'
'We've got to put Father ashore, you know. I can't treat a fracture properly at sea. The trouble is he won't shift. He says he won't go without instructions from the Company.'
Hornbeam tossed a cable across to me.
'Sparky just brought that down,' he said. 'Take a look at it.'
I unfolded the paper. It was from the Fathom Line head office.
TO CHIEF OFFICER SS. LOTUS, it said. PLACE CAPTAIN ASHORE TENERIFFE IF DOCTOR SO ADVISES AND BRING VESSEL HOME UNDER YOUR COMMAND STOP PREPARE TAKE COMMAND IMMEDIATELY ON ARRIVAL UK SS. PRIMROSE OWING RESIGNATION CAPTAIN BARSETT.
'Well, Doc,' he said smiling. 'Do you advise?'
'Do I advise! Yes, sir! Yes, indeed!' I grabbed his hand. 'Yes, Captain Hornbeam!'
Chapter Nineteen
The next day we arrived off the rocky, volcanic Canaries, sailed under the lee of the islands and shortly after noon slipped into the tidy, clean harbour of Teneriffe. Archer and Trail took the bow and stern, tugs flying smoky red-and-yellow Spanish flags turned us round to face the sea, and we tied to the jetty between a smart Blue Star boat outward bound for Rio and a disconnected-looking craft flying the flag of Panama which had cows on the deck.
At first Captain Hogg refused to be moved. We showed him the cablegram but he accused us of forgery. So I filled him up with morphine and sent him to sleep.
He was carried out on the shoulders of the sailors, like Nelson's bier, arranged in a derrick sling, and unloaded by the steam winches between two bales of cowhide.
'You'll find the full history in the letter,' I said, handing the case report to the smiling, handsome Spanish doctor with the ambulance. 'The British Consul's fixed everything else up.'
The doctor shook hands, the ambulance doors swung shut, and Captain Vincent Hogg drove out of my life.
'Get rid of him all right?' Easter asked, as I reached the top of the gangway.
'It seems so. I don't think he'll have much chance to throw his weight about in a Spanish hospital. Especially after that letter I sent with him.'
'Wouldn't mind going ashore here for a spell myself,' Easter said meditatively. 'I've had some fun here, I have. I remember when I was on the South Africa run, the barber and me went…'
'All right, Easter. Later will do.'
'They got some lovely girls here,' Easter continued. 'Prettiest in the world, I reckon. Look at that one down there. See? They got the same as our girls at home, but they carry it around better.' He pointed to a slim, dark girl, stepping along the quay with a grace that is unhappily forgotten on cold English parks and pavements.
'Ho, they got some smashing bits here!' Easter said enthusiastically. 'Mind you, you've got to be careful. Do you want a tablecloth?'
'A tablecloth? What should I want a tablecloth for?'
'This is the place to buy them.' He pointed over the side, where the wide pipes ran towards the ship in a pool of black fuel oil. An informal market had been set up on the quay, offering thick brocaded tablecloths, scarves with vivid bullfights on them, canaries in cages, metal ornaments, and dolls four feet high.
'Them dolls is all right,' Easter advised me. 'I used to buy a lot of them at one time.'
'I'm pleased to hear you think of the children, Easter.'
'Ho, crikey no! I used to buy 'em here and flog 'em in Pernambuco. Good business, that was. Canaries, too. Make a good few bob on canaries, you could. Unless the little bastards went and died on you. Or you got gyped. Some of 'em's sparrows fed on quinine.'
'Well, I ought to buy a few presents, I suppose. But I haven't got much in the way of money.'
'They takes all kinds of junk here. Old clothes-a pair o' boots, worn out, if you've got 'em. Fags mostly. Get anything for a few hundred Woods.'
I exchanged five hundred ship's Woodbines for two scarves, a small bracelet, and a decorated picture of General Franco. I supposed I had better make a return with some of the assets of a seafarer.
We stayed eight hours in Teneriffe; then we set off under Hornbeam's command, our next stop England.
The removal of Captain Hogg from the ship had the effect of dissolving a chronic state of anxiety. All hands walked about cheerfully, did their work amiably, and set to it with twice the effort.
'Got to have her looking nice for home now,' the Bos'n said, looking critically at the gang he had set painting the upper works. 'We can't let Mr. Hornbeam down, can we?'
Hornbeam slipped easily into his new rank. He took over the Captain's cabin and his seat at table. Our mealtimes now were lively with conversation, with the result that everyone ate more contentedly and the cases of dyspepsia among the officers dropped sharply. Even Archer began reluctantly to feel better, and admitted he hadn't taken any stomach powder for a week.
Our only excitement was a message to Hornbeam changing our destination from Liverpool to London because of a threatening dock strike. The order caused disapproval among the Liverpudlians in the crew, but this was charmed away quickly by Easter's account of the fun he had had at various times in London.
'Smashing place, London,' he claimed. 'You wait till you see West Ham.'
The sea became rougher, the weather became colder; spray came once again over the Lotus's bows. The broken water took on the green-grey tint of European coasts, and the ship began to groan and stagger in the January waves. But now I was unaffected by the sea, and stood on deck innocuously watching the foc's'le head rise and dip with the swell and the tops of the masts trace wide irregular circles against the sky. All round us were signs that we were coming nearer to our own country. Boxes and cartons were lying in everyone's cabins, the ship's time became synonymous with that of Greenwich, three pounds Channel money was advanced to all hands, the Light Programme assailed us undiminished, and the weather remained persistently foul.
One evening Easter put his head round my door and said cheerfully. 'Want to see the Ushant light, Doctor? Just coming up on the starboard bow.'
Together we stood in the shelter of the storm door leading on to the deck. I followed his finger towards the flashes.
'Well, there's old Europe again,' Easter said. 'Ain't a bad old continent, all things considered. We turns the corner here. The next mark's the Casquettes, then for Beachy. Blimey, I've seen folks in tears looking at that there light! When they've been gone for a long time, that is.'
'Yes, I expect everyone will start being excited from now on.'
'Ho, they'll have the channels to-morrow, you mark my word.'
'The channels?'
'Ah, there's a complaint what even you don't know, Doctor. All hands goes a bit balmy, like. You wait till to-morrow.'
Easter was right. The channels is a clinical entity that has not found its way into the medical text-books, but is as noticeable as scarlet fever. The next morning the crew were prancing round the decks like highly-strung lambs in springtime. Everyone had a bright word for their mates, a salute for the Captain, and even a few sirs left over for me. Work was done with a lighthearted air that drew scowls of disapproval from the Bos'n, who had been up the Channel so many times that he had developed an immunity to the complaint. Easter repeated his most successful card tricks and thought it a great joke to tell me falsely the hospital was three feet in water. I forgave him readily, for I too was walking the deck murmuring to myself, 'Every turn of the screw brings me nearer to you.' To whom? I wondered. It didn't matter. I could settle that when we arrived.
Beachy Head-white, shining in a brief ray of sunshine turned on like an effective spotlight on a darkened stage. I looked at it with mixed feelings of affection and disapproval that the voyager's first sight of England should be Eastbourne.
We came closer to the land, making for the pilot boat off Dungeness. The Atlantic rollers had flattened themselves in the narrow waters, but the sea was high enough to throw the pilot's launch about unenviably. He came round to the lee side and had two shots at grasping the Jacob's ladder Trail and the Bos'n dangled from the foredeck; the third time he caught a rung as the launch dropped away from his feet. He climbed aboard, his black oilskins running with water, shook himself like a dog, gave me a cheerful 'Nice morning!' and climbed up to the bridge. The red and white pilot's flag broke over the wheelhouse, and the Lotus proceeded under the arrangement invariably stated in the log-book as 'Master's orders, Pilot's advice.'
The Channel was busy that day. We passed, or were passed by, a representation of Lloyd's List. There were tankers making for Thameshaven, so low in the water they disappeared to the bridge between the waves; rickety tramps setting out fearlessly for voyages longer than ours; little coasters bound for a rough passage round Land's End; sodden fishing boats; cargo ships of all sizes and states of repair, British, Norwegian, Swedish, and Dutch; one of the ubiquitous City boats with a black and salmon funnel, homeward bound fully loaded from the Australian wool sales; even a couple of warships. They were a pair of corvettes steaming jauntily down Channel in line astern. The meeting led to a burst of activity at the foot of the mainmast as the deckboy afforded the King's vessels their salute by dipping our ensign. The correct form was for us to dip, watch for the white ensign fluttering down in reply, and follow its return to the masthead. Unfortunately, the wind caught our rain-soaked flag and twisted it in the rigging, so that we passed the fleet apparently in mourning. But the intention was there, and the Navy would be the first to understand.
A big white P. amp; O. passed us, outward bound for India and Australia and the sunshine that appeared to me to have vanished for ever.
'Be away for the best part of four months, that lot,' Easter remarked. 'All be taking their last look at old England.'
'As long as that?'
'They gets them dock strikes something horrid out Aussie way. It's a lovely life being a wharfie in Sydney or Melbourne-you draws your money and puts your feet
up most of the day. Like being a lord. Or-if I may be so bold-ship's doctor.'
'Yes, I suppose you're right,' I admitted sadly. 'Except the dockers get paid more. I suppose they're all pretty excited on board-first night at sea, and so on.'
'Ho, yes. I've seen it often enough on the big passenger boats. All the blokes giving the girls the once-over in the dining saloon. Cor, I've seen them sweet little things with their eyes still wet with tears from saying good-bye to their husbands and sweethearts carrying on something shocking. Hardly out of the River we wasn't, neither.'
The red lamps were shining on the tops of the high radar masts when we crept close to Dover inside the Goodwins. The lights of Ramsgate and Margate passed off our port side, then we cut across to the Nore, where we were to anchor and await the tide. Someone gave me the morning paper that the pilot had brought aboard. I opened it and read the front page with the careless baffled interest of a holidaymaker inspecting the social column in the village weekly. We had been more or less newsless for three months, but the happenings that used to shake my breakfast table no longer aroused my concern. A paragraph near the foot of the page caught my eye; it was headed 'MAYOR REBUKES DANCERS,' and went on: 'The Mayor of-, Alderman-, yesterday refused an application for an extension to midnight at a cycling club dance. He said he was highly disturbed at complaints of immoral behaviour that had followed the dance last year. "The place for young men and women at midnight," he told the secretary, "is in their own homes asleep."'
I knew I was back in England.
Chapter Twenty
The next morning we steamed into the Thames. The country raised a faint glow of sunshine to welcome us, but the effort was too taxing and the atmosphere soon relapsed into its habitual rain.
We passed the long finger of Southend Pier, which appears a far more dignified structure when seen in reverse, signalled our name, and passed down the channel towards Tilbury. The wet, orderly fields of England on the narrowing banks, with a demure English train jogging through them towards London, had the appearance of a winter's garden after the turbulent unfenced vegetation of the South American coast. Off Tilbury landing-stage we anchored for the Port of London doctor to board us. He was a large, friendly man in a naval battledress and a duffle-coat.
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