by Dakota Trace
“Only in a BDSM Utopia. Besides, according to his partner, he looks at subs as merely temporary propositions. I don’t need that kind of heartache.” Standing, she walked the coffee cup into the kitchen, as the clock in the living room chimed the hour. “Perhaps it’s better to not feel it again, if in the end he plans on giving me to another - not that I’d let him.” As the sixth peel filled the air, there was a knock on the apartment door. Her Dom was nothing if not punctual. She’d just finished putting her rinsed mug into the strainer when her father yelled he’d get the door. She wanted to protest but Ethan had insisted he wanted to meet her father, and he wasn’t going to take no for an answer again. She had a feeling he particularly wanted to speak to her dad about their staying overnight at the hotel the day of the Kinkfest. At first, she’d thought he’d been joking, but when he’d continued to insist upon the meeting, she’d grudgingly agreed. Even if she was a grown woman who didn’t need her dad’s permission to go out of town, it wasn’t as if Andrew Johnston honestly had any illusions about his only daughter still being a virgin.
“Bella, your date’s here.” Her father walked into the kitchen followed closely behind by Ethan. Dressed casually in his normal charcoal silk dress pants, a deep green turtleneck sweater and a dark overcoat, he made her mouth water. As usual, when they were not in a scene, his dreadlocks were free, flowing over his shoulders and framing his slender face. She longed to touch the twisted hair, but hadn’t had the courage to ask him yet.
“Good evening, Sabella.” He came forward and lifted her hand to his lips, brushing his lips over the pulse of her inner wrist. “You look lovely tonight, little one.”
“Thank you, Sir…I mean Ethan.” She was quick to adjust the title, very aware of her father’s presence in the room. It was one thing to open and honest about her needs with Ms. D., but her father was a beast of another color.
“So are you going to introduce me to your beau, Bella?” Andrew rounded the table to lean up against the counter. “You’ve been seeing this young man for the past month, but I never hear anything about him.”
She drew in a deep breath for fortitude before answering. “Dad, this Dr. Ethan Tremaine. He’s a psychiatrist and has a place out on Highway 121. I met him through Lauren.” Gesturing towards her father, she quickly introduced him and Mrs. D. “Ethan, this is my father, Andrew Johnston and the lovely woman standing by him, is Louisa Di’Angelo.”
Ethan gave a slight bow towards her dad. “It’s a pleasure to meet the father of such a wonderful woman.” He turned to Mrs. D. “And the lovely young lady who helped raised my Sabella.”
Mrs. D. actually giggled, as her dad squinted up at Ethan. “You look like you might have some Okinawan in you. That right?”
Ethan gave a graceful nod. “A bit, Sir, on my mother’s side. Her father was a seaweed farmer on Okinawa, but her mother is a true Nihonjin, or Japanese in my grandmother’s case. She was quite shocked when her daughter fell for an African American.”
Andrew eyes narrowed. “You prejudiced, boy?”
Sabella wanted to groan. Not this…for heaven’s sake, Dad, don’t start this…,please. Racism was one of her dad’s hot buttons, ever since he’d married a non-Jewish girl against his mother’s wishes.
“Not in the least bit.” As if reading her mind, Ethan placed a reassuring hand on the small of her back, even as embarrassment heated her face. “It’d be rather hypocritical don’t you think, considering my origins?”
“It wouldn’t be the first time.” Andrew shrugged his shoulders, before continuing on as if he hadn’t just insulted Sabella’s guest. “So you’re taking out my daughter. To a nice restaurant?”
“Of course. The owner of Cole’s Chop House is a close friend, and he pulled a few strings to hold us a table, as long as we’re there by seven.”
Andrew smiled. “Damn, Bella girl, you’re going to be eating fine tonight.”
Gluing a smile on her face, she leaned in to give her father a kiss. “Daddy, I told you Ethan always takes care of me.” Giving him a peck, she pulled back. “He won’t even move the car until I have my seatbelt all buckled. I’m perfectly safe with him.”
Andrew looked from Ethan to her and finally back to Ethan, a silent communication more telling than a thousand words ever could have been. After Andrew walked them to the door, Ethan took her jacket from the coat tree, before helping her into it. Once it was zipped up, she stepped out into the hall, her purse in hand and stopped to wait for him. “I won’t have her out too late, Mr. Johnston,” Ethan reassured Andrew. “I have appointments tomorrow.”
Sabella sighed. “Whether or not you have appointments, Ethan, you do realize I’m nearly twenty-eight, and I don’t have a curfew?”
“Your age has nothing to do with it, Sabella. It’s merely a common courtesy when one lives at home with their parents.”
Shaking her head as her face heated once more, she wondered if the floor would open up and swallow her - especially when her father guffawed. Even Mrs. D. cracked a smile.
“Regardless of what she thinks, I’ll have her home by eleven.” The predatory look he gave her wasn’t lost on her dad.
“Young man, I do believe you have my daughter bamboozled.”
Ethan gave a slow grin. “Oh, your daughter knows exactly what she’s getting into by being with me. Don’t you, little one?”
A startled squeak passed her lips as his hand gently wrapped around the back of her neck to pull her close. Her eyes locked with his then drifted shut as he brushed his lips over hers. Incredibly soft against hers, she barely had the time to savor her first kiss from him before he was drawing away, his expression hungry. “Let’s go get something to eat.”
She nodded, but suddenly it wasn’t food she was hungry for.
* * * *
Following the hostess to their table, Sabella was intensely aware of the palm resting at the small of her back. Ethan had made small talk for the entire drive from Sabella’s apartment to the restaurant, as if he done nothing out of the ordinary. This is exactly what I was telling Mrs. D. about. He’s acting as if he’s never held me against him, spanked me, or kissed me.
After the hostess left, Ethan took a sip of his water. “Remember, Sabella, anytime you want the status quo between us to change - all you have to do is ask.”
To keep from begging for what she knew would lead to a situation, one which would be dangerous to her heart, she tugged her lower lip into her mouth, watching how his eyes darkened. His nostrils flared just a bit as his fingers tightened around the napkin on the table.
“Or perhaps I shouldn’t have left it up to you. You’re really throwing off some conflicting signals, and have been doing so for the past several weeks. It’s enough to make me want to paddle your bottom again.”
She opened her mouth to protest but knew he was right. She’d been open to everything he’d given her, including their earlier kiss, while hiding behind his promise to not pressure her into anything more. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to.” She tossed her braid over her shoulder “This is why I wanted limits set on our relationship. I get lost in my Dom’s possession all too easily. I appreciate the fact you haven’t taken advantage of it but…”
“Stop.” He held up a hand to end her rambling. “Let me ask you something, Sabella. What would you do if I asked you to reconsider? To allow me to show you for a single weekend what it is to be my submissive?”
Her breath caught. She’d fall in love with him even more than she already was. “I…I don’t think it’s worth the risk, Ethan. You never denied the fact you only use submissives on a temporary basis, when I asked about it after my spanking. The reasons I gave you then still stand. I need more than a temporary Dom. I can’t separate my emotions from my submission.”
He gazed at her thoughtfully, his fingers toying with the silverware. “Have I ever asked you to? You asked if my past relationships since my wife had been temporary. And I won’t lie to you. They have been. But that was by choice on both sides.
All those submissives knew the terms going in, and used my knowledge to their advantage.”
“And I have no reason to believe it’d be any different in the end with me.” She shook her head…even though it hurt her to. “No, I can’t risk it.”
He sighed. “So that’s it then? You shut me down because you’re scared of something which hasn’t even been determined.” He cupped his chin on his palm with his elbow resting on the tablecloth. “I think it’s foolish and a bit cowardly on your part…but if you wish for it to remain the way it is, I’ll abide by your wishes…”
Fury, not unlike what she’d felt at New Beginnings, swamped her, but this time she controlled it, mindful of being in a public place. “Are you calling me a coward?” She wadded up her napkin in her fist.
He raised a brow at her. “If the shoe fits…”
Blood rushed in her ears. “If I actually agree to this weekend and it doesn’t work out, will you let this go? Or will you actually want to sleep with me?”
He gazed at her calmly. “You’re not going to do this. I won’t allow you to turn something that’ll more than likely be pleasurable for both of us into blackmail, Sabella. If you agree to spend the weekend with me, it’ll be because you’ve decided your need is stronger than your fear, and allow me to guide you to what you’re seeking.”
Suddenly she felt ashamed. That’s exactly what she had done. She’d made what she was sure was supposed to be a one-time offer to see if there was something more between them, seem like nothing more than a ploy to get into her pants. “I…dang it...” She sighed. “I don’t know what you want me to say, Ethan.”
He took a sip from his water. “I want you to be honest with yourself and with me. I see during our sessions how you struggle to let go. How you’re fighting to control your natural inclinations to not submit only to the ropes, but also to me. As if you’re afraid of what will happen if you let go.” He set his drink aside. “I may be what you consider a temporary Master, but it doesn’t mean I’m mean spirited, or that I have nothing to offer you.”
“But at what cost?” She wanted to flee, but had a feeling even if she did, he’d only continue their discussion the next time they got together for training. And even as much as she didn’t want to have this discussion, she couldn’t force herself to give up their training together, or the possibility the next time out she’d find what had been eluding her.
He studied her, his expression guarded. “There’s no cost, Sabella. I’d never charge you…”
She wanted to smack him with her wadded up napkin. “Don’t play dense with me, Sir. You’re much too smart to even attempt to pull off such an idiotic assumption. You darn well know what I’m talking about. I’m talking about the personal cost. What would happen if I’d fall in love with you during this weekend? Where would it leave me in the end? With you walking away from me?”
His eyebrows drew together before he finally slumped back in his chair. “What makes you think you’d fall in love with me, Sabella? We’ve never been anything more than partners for this demonstration…”
“Don’t you see, this is the real issue? You don’t see what I see when I look at you. You’re a great man. You care about those around you. You’ve been up to the hospital nearly every day to visit Zebadiah. You put up with my quirky friend, Lauren. You even came over to meet my father when most men wouldn’t, at least not for a temporary submissive who’s merely helping out. I see all these things and combined with the connection I felt the night after my spanking, it makes you a danger to my heart. It’d be very easy to fall for you.”
Steepling his fingers, he was quiet as he processed what she just said. She’d seen this happen several times during their time together. She was sure he was weighing options in how to proceed, and while others may have found the habit annoying, she found it quite charming. It appealed more to her than a guy who went off half-cocked. Only another thing to love him for.
“So what’s stopping you from what I offer is this idea of you falling in love…”
If she thought it would help, she’d brain his stubborn ass. Like any other man, he was focusing on what he wanted to hear. “It’s not the falling in love part I’m worried about, Ethan. I can handle that. It’s you not returning my feelings, which scares the hell out of me.”
Chapter Sixteen
Ethan watched as Sabella left. After dropping her little bombshell, he’d been shocked when she’d quietly excused herself, under the guise of going to use the restroom. While she was gone, the waiter returned with the wine selection. He absently tasted the wine, commenting on the light floral taste and crispness of the house label. Once he approved the bottle, the waiter left it breathing in the ice bucket next to the table.
He continued to sit there, trying to make sense of what Sabella was actually asking for. He cared about her a great deal. More than what he’d ever expected but to call it love? It was too soon. He hadn’t even considered himself to truly be in love with Tamiko, and he’d known her for the better part of twenty years before they’d married. On the other hand, he had a feeling if he didn’t give her something, things would continue as they were, with only a partial connection as he found it more and more difficult to control his need. Even with the solo sessions in the shower. Dear Lord above, I don’t think I’ve wanked myself nearly as much when I was a teen as I have in the past month.
“Dr. Tremaine, is that you?” Louis Vayarti’s intrusion was shocking and brutal. The last thing he wanted this evening was to see the idiot. Ethan understood Louis was getting nowhere substantial. The man seemed to be only giving him the answers he thought Ethan expected, and his anger management therapy appeared to be only a ploy, to satisfy the court orders.
“Hello, Louis.” He kept his voice cool. Perhaps if he played this as a competent psychiatrist meeting a patient in a normal social setting outside the office, the man would leave. The last thing he wanted was for Sabella to return to the table while Louis was present.
“Out on a date?” Louis looked around the crowded restaurant. “I saw your date from a distance - she seemed quite attractive. Reminded me greatly of a submissive I used to know in New York.”
Keeping his cool had always been easy for Ethan, but at the moment he wanted nothing more than to throw the fool down in a classic Hojōjutsu move, bind him fast with the cross binding, and have him carted out of sight. “While this is quite interesting, I can you assure you my date is quite local, and I’d like to return to it.”
Louis flashed him a bright smile. “Of course. I hope she’s worth it. But before I leave I was wondering if you’d given any thought to my last request?”
A chill went down Ethan’s spine. While everything inside of him screamed with unease at granting Louis’s request to go to a club, he had insufficient evidence to give Louis’s parole officer a negative response, but he wasn’t ready to just give free rein for the man to go to whatever club he wanted. He had a job to protect those who didn’t recognize the potential predator under Louis’s thousand dollar suits. With patient-doctor confidentiality rules, he couldn’t call other local clubs and warn them about Louis. Perhaps it’d be best if I give him a little bit of rope, but under my direct supervision. “I’ll tell you what, Louis. Let me talk to my partner and I’ll see what can be arranged.”
Louis flashed him a smile. “That’d be great, Doc. Now I’ll skedaddle before your girl comes back. Have a great night.” Louis shoved his hands in his pant pockets before weaving his way through the tables towards the front of the dining area, and just in time. Sabella appeared next to the table. Sliding into her seat, she looked more composed than before she’d left.
“I see our wine’s arrived. May I have a glass?” She eyed the bottle hopefully.
“Of course, Sabella.” He set about pouring her glass. “It’s rather good for a house wine.” After handing her the glass, he got straight to the matter. “So what if I told you I was open to the idea of exploring the feelings I have for you?”
* * * *
Louis’s jaw nearly hit the floor. Sitting in his idling car, he was now listening to his idiot doctor talk to Louis’s former submissive via the small bug he’d managed to place on the side of the wine bucket, when the fool had been busy finding away to get rid of him before the little slut had returned from the powder room. He’d been shocked when he’d spotted her after his last session, but was suddenly glad he’d followed his instincts and followed her home. Imagine his surprise when she’d left her apartment tonight with Tremaine.
“She’s mine, you asshole.” His fist hit the steering wheel. “You won’t have a chance in hell with her, Tremaine. Your soft spoken Jap shit won’t do it for her. She needs a hot blooded Italian to control her.” Louis waited to hear the inevitable rejection spill from his little Bella’s lips. She’d never cheat on him - not if she knew what was good for her.
“What exactly are you suggesting, Sir? That I allow us to spend time together with the hope something more might come of it?”
There was a pause and a rattle of dishes along with the arrival of what must’ve been the waitress. Louis wanted to curse as the noise drowned out the voices. As soon as the ambient noise died down again, he was able to once again hear their conversation.
“…what you’re asking, little one, is for me to predict the future. There are no guarantees, even in a vanilla relationship, it’s going to last. What I can promise, however, is that while we’re together, it’s just us, and I’m not looking for the door. I want to see where this attraction and connection can take us - but I can’t promise we’ll end up where you want.”
Louis wanted to howl. The damn man was moving in on his territory. If he thought for one second he had a chance with Louis’s woman, the good doctor was sadly mistaken. His Sabella was too smart to allow another Dom to claim what Louis considered to still be his. It was true he’d let her go but she’d once been his. And I’m not going to make the same mistake I made with Rena. I’m through asking.